• Member Since 29th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 8th, 2014

CrystalHeart


Stories are like onions, they have layers.

Comments ( 6 )

You know, this is half decent.

The chapter numbering should be fixed, one way or the other

There's a tag for "Human" you know...

T4

Pretty decent. Too short to let us get into it properly (ideally speaking, 2500 words or more is The butter zone).

Also. You misspelt captain as caption.

T4

Your transition from starting movie to outside walking home is way to sudden. A little page divider goes a long way. Anyway, I'll give this a follow, so far it's decent and with some refinement to your writing it'll be good.

Its ok.
Here is the problem I'm having; when does this take place? I remember Twilight leaving at the end of the movie, not staying. Is this Twi #2? (other demention twi.)
I don't think it is cause she was talking of other friends, but thus I'm confused on time placement with the actual show.
I liked the story but an explanation would be great. :pinkiehappy:

So this confused me

April took hold of one of her cyan hands

Login or register to comment