Insecurities

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Comments ( 6 )

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Djerid

Djerid #1 · Mar 8th, 2014 · · · Chapter 2: Kissing ·

You know, this is half decent.

The chapter numbering should be fixed, one way or the other

Arzoo

Arzoo #2 · Mar 8th, 2014 · · · Chapter 2: Kissing ·

There's a tag for "Human" you know...

T4 #3 · Mar 12th, 2014 · · · Chapter One: Being Together ·

Pretty decent. Too short to let us get into it properly (ideally speaking, 2500 words or more is The butter zone).

Also. You misspelt captain as caption.

T4 #4 · Mar 12th, 2014 · · · Chapter 2: Kissing ·

Your transition from starting movie to outside walking home is way to sudden. A little page divider goes a long way. Anyway, I'll give this a follow, so far it's decent and with some refinement to your writing it'll be good.

Tenth

Tenth #5 · Jul 29th, 2014 · · · Chapter 2: Kissing ·

Its ok.
Here is the problem I'm having; when does this take place? I remember Twilight leaving at the end of the movie, not staying. Is this Twi #2? (other demention twi.)
I don't think it is cause she was talking of other friends, but thus I'm confused on time placement with the actual show.
I liked the story but an explanation would be great.