First! Good story so far!

All I can say is

Image: http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/proceed-baby.jpg

Yes, please to be with the continuing, yes!

Perfect music for this

This is a definite track and thumbs up. Good job author.

pretty good so far, although it seems a little quick-paced for me. I would have liked more elaboration on the stunts he was performing before and during the flame-out.

>>368148368148  I didn't wanna get too technical and bore people to death

The maneuver he attempted to pull to pursue was basically a very abrupt flat half loop or banked turn, but at WAY too fast a speed to keep up with his target, causing him to black out.  The flameout was caused by his elbow hitting the throttle controls which slammed them shut, choking the engine of air, and causing it to stall out.  He then dumped too much fuel into it in a panic to start it, and that flooded it.  Hope that clears it up a bit ^^;;

>>368115368115  Thanks!

You got it!

I'll try to have the next chapter up tomorrow!

Things...well...things don't go too well for Volare to say the least

>>368130368130 LOL yes evil baby commander

>>368137368137  LOL which company owns Top Gun?

Imma be sued by them for this story at this rate

>>368115368115  Thanks!

Hell yeah, I want it continued!

You can use the edit button to condense unessesary double-posting.

Also

Image: http://memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/MOAR.jpg

Hmmm... yes, I do like. Please, continue.

>>368171368171  Okey dokey lokey!

>>368217368217 Will do!

>>368209368209 Thanks *edits posts*

And yessir! *salutes*

>>368238368238 Yay!

More please c:

I would love to see more of this!

Well, it could use some more description (it took me about six paragraphs to realize they were actually in the planes for instance), and there seems to be a lot of telling rather than showing as to the traits each character has, but the character themselves interact in a fun way, and the jargon seems legit, so kudos for that.

>>368335368335  Heh thanks for the critique

I fixed the first paragraph to show they're in the jets ^^;;

As for the characters, well...ever heard of the Chekhov's Gun rule of writing?

"do not include any unnecessary elements in a story."

I tend to use that alot in my writing...so I tend to only focus on what matters instead of too much side-info

And since Volare is one of the main characters of the story...much more info on him to come!

Oh and I'll also explain his name soon too ^^;

>2012

>Not continuing a fabulous story such as this.

ISHYGDDT

This looks alot like the story on here named "the stranded pilot".

I look forward to more of this.

>>368482368482  Whoa...I didn't see that at all

Heh, but from what I can see in the synopsis...the similarities end pretty quickly soon

.....So awsome

By the gods, MORE!

>>371808371808

Dude...seriously MOAR!!!

Tracking this like a guided missile.

Minor quibble, I seriously doubt Volare would be a Major at the age of 23.

Want to read about Rainbow joining the Blue Angels?  Right here

>>372313372313 I saw dat!  

Buncha these sorta things popping up now, but they're all RD joining the Air Force of what have you...mine's taking...a bit of a different path

Hrm oops...I meant to say Lieutenant

He's Navy not Marines

*edit edit edit*

FURTHER EDIT:  Volare is a Lieutenant Junior Grade

The board is... set.

The pieces are... arranged.

Let the game... begin.

>>372426372426  We come to it at last..the great battle of our time...

Oh wait, that's a later chapter

And now Rainbow Dash knows he knows her some how. 'Kinda interested to see how you'll handle this.

>>372531372531 Oh don't you worry....they're both gonna have secrets that'll shock each other soon

>>372551372551

SECRETS.

Image: http://cdn.geckoandfly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ancient_aliens_guy.jpg

ALIEN SECRETS.

>>372616372616 LOL funny you mention that since Twilight basically views the "bipeds" in an alien way

This just keeps getting better and better. Can't wait for more!

So there's going to be some physical conflict and not just social ones eh?

...

That's terrible.

>>372712372712  Oooh plenty of both

@V-pony: I've received at least 10 email notices now that your fic has been updated, yet when I click on the link provided in the email, I brings me to the story page where it shows that nothing has been updated. I usually read the updated chapters of any fics upon getting the update emails from FimFiction. Do you think it could be the websites fault, or are you possibly doing something on the website?

>>372893372893

Just got another 2 emails about the fic being updated.

>>372920372920  Ah jeez, sorry, I kept spotting errors and I was editing them

The chapter is set now

Sorry about that

Is there a way to edit them wiithout sending out those updates?

>>372958372958

I honestly don't know since I've never posted a story here before. You might have to talk to an admin about it. If anything, it's a minor annoyance.

>>372970372970 I think I will

Sorry bout that ^^;;

Thank you to all who have commented so far!

I write for feedback and cookies!  

*sigh* another brony in Equestria. I suppose this one has a little twist that the guy is a pilot but...the odds of this story being anything but formulaic are not looking good

>>374072374072  Patience, grasshoppah!

Small difference already: he doesn't necessarily WANT to be there.  Heck, he just realized his dream of joining the Blue Angels and now it's all been taken from him against his will...I'd be fairly frustrated too!

his dream of joining the Blue Angels is taken away form him? oh boo hoo! just get him to join the wonder bolts

"Volare looked back and forth between the two before he screamed in confusion and fear and took off crawling across the lobby. "

I can't read that without chuckling from the visualization.

>>374152374152  Give the poor guy a break; he just nearly died!

And I think joining those guys is the last thing on his mind at the moment, seeing as how he has trouble just standing up right now

>>374194374194  Glad ya got a chuckle out of it.  I'm so mean to Volare

Dash, you're kinda a dick XD

Also, all the awkward sorta chapters should be outta the way and the true plot of the story can now commence!

Also also, please feel free to shoot me ideas and tips on what you'd like to have included (The plotline gets fairly flexible from here on out) or if you see something I'm leaving out or neglecting, let me know!

Thanks!

Zis... Is good.

Image: http://www.gamesprays.com/images/icons/happy-heavy-2075_preview.jpg

>>374637374637  I feel so appreciated!

For real, thanks ^^

Okay... this is awesome. Enough said. But the title of the chapter made me go,

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljild3Ts2R1qcgb1l.jpg

"And he did, and then his jet started falling out of the sky and-"

You! Rainbow Dash! How do you know what the "flying machines" are called? Fuckin' paradoxes...

You, my friend, are missing the, "Chapter 2:" in the front of your title.

DUDE!

He's got the same Manestyle and colors as Clockworx, Celestia's mad scientist!

>>374692374692 lol you're welcome

>>374701374701 hee hee hee Dash is smart enough to listen in on their conversations and figure out what a jet is :P

Or maybe I'll addresses it later...Dashie has alot of things she hasn't talked about that she's seen on Earth ^^

>>374711374711 thanks! Fixed it!

>>375224375224 Who's that? Oo

My OC from 'Squad Equestria'.

He's a tad....screwy.

His body isn't really lost forever right? Just grab a medical book from some library at Earth at night and thus, after some time for Twilight to study, problem (relatively) solved?

>>375617375617

Lawl.

Seems legit.

No prob!

>>375638375638 LOL orly?  I'd like to see this screwy pony

>>375680375680  Most of his body's skin except for what was covered by the helmet was burnt off and he had other internal injuries from the crash...so yes, his old body is totally gone for good.

There's a slight problem with that theory: if they use a book to create a new body, he'd have a generic medical book body.   Volare wouldn't be Volare anymore

When he finds out about this, he's gonna be understandably upset...

EDIT: next chapter update tomorrow, and it's a bit of a doozy!

Expect a few revelations and LOTS of comedy!

More!This is getting epic!

~Your 'Stalker as you put it' jmlop0

You missed a word right near the end: "Rainbow shook his rainbow-maned in disappointment"

I assume you want to put head there, you just.... didn't.

Lolicopter comin' in for a landing. Lololololololololol

I really do like how this is progressing. However, I DO have a small issue with your formatting. You're sort of just... adding lines where there doesn't need to be. Nothing major, just breaks the reading more than you probably want.

*Sees part with our conversation in story* Well...

Also, Never apologize for long chapters! Readers flourish with them!

>>378981378981 heh thanks!

I need an editor

>>379070379070 lines as in the dashed lines? I used them for min

or time skips to skip redundant and boring info.

Or spaces?

Not gonna be nearly as many in the next chapter.

  >>378983378983 lol indeed!  At least ya'll won't think I'm doing any shipping now

>>379526379526 Aha you caught that eh?

I must say that did save me from a small plothole, so thank you!

^^

>>379555379555 Well, it's sort of like... you start a new line

without finishing your thought. Now granted, you usually do it like this:

"blah blah blah" said Rainbow Dash,

"more blah blah blah"

and that just looks weird, they should be on the same line.

BTW, is there some trick to actually replying to someone properly? Or is my computer just stupid? (my replies always come up as these numbers)

>>379555379555 But you are, aren't you?

>>379704379704 Ah I see...that's how I was taught in Creative Writing freshman year of college to write dialogue, and it's stuck with me ever since...I'll try to vary things from here on out, thanks!  

As for the numbers instead of names reply...idk ^^;;

>>379905379905  Notice the lack of a Romance tag?

Nah, Volare is a workaholic with his pilot training and is only interested in getting better at flying instead of relationships and what-not

LOL and he called Twilight OCD

It won't be your average "brony goes to Equestria and hooks up with the girl of his dreams there" sorta story  

and I got my first thumbs-down

Sad day...

Meh, I love you all anyways!

>>380424380424 Heh... We shall seeeeee..... *cough* Dark side *cough*

Okies folks, the next chapter is gonna be fairly long and might take me a day or two to type up

(the summary nearly 1500 words on it's own)

So...I'll be working on it more tonight and then tomorrow to try to get it out by tomorrow evening!

EDIT:  it's up!

Image: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/145/922/245-hory-shet-spongebob.jpg

Volare, you sick son a (Top) gun!

(See what I did there?)

Hahaha Twilight is so out of character, in the beginning, it's painful. Oddly enough she reminds me of Akane from Ranma 1/2 or any other abusive female character from Anime. Got a laugh out of me at least. Pacing is kind of wack as well.

Know much about planes and piloting?

>>383566383566  I know, but like she stated, she's never felt this way before...maybe Spike was onto something about those hormones...

Just not a normal day around the place

And don't worry, things get alot smoother after this...and then Pinkie and her weirdness enters the picture

>>383597383597  Nothing beyond what I've read

Hrm...reading back over this latest chapter....I really probably should have extended it further, but idk who'd wanna read a 10k word chapter

XD;;

Oh well, live and learn ^^

Thanks for reading this you guys, it means alot to me :)

“Yeah, well my version of messing around happens to involve causing third degree burns,” Spike scowled.

Love it.  May steal it, if that's okay.

>>383766383766  Have at it, dude

>>383647383647

Who'd want to read a 10k word chapter?

I definitely would. :) I like longer chapters.

Ya, considering I've read all of Duties... which is COMPLETELY 10k+ word chapters...

>>384157384157  Heh, I'll keep that in mind then

>>384892384892  Really? Dang...

Must be a damn good story though

>>385848385848 Ya, it's good as long as you're not one of those people that is just against Mane 6 Alicorns

>>385856385856  GOD MODE HACK!!!

Image: http://drupal.org/files/remiq.jpeg

first

>>386471386471  LOL but he don't have aileron's; he's a pony!

Thanks for the clarification though

So... does Volare know dash was the reason he crashed in the first place or not? Because in the first chapter it says she was right above the cockpit.

But ponies don't need ailerons to spin on an axis. he just spins along the spine.

>>386558386558  To clarify, he merely saw a dark silhouette as the sun was behind her.  He saw it "wave" at him before jetting off before he could get a good look at it and so he got mad and chased it.  So no, he DOES NOT know that thing he was chasing was Dash.  That and the crash didn't so his memories any favors either.

>>386559386559 LOL I'm just kidding

Thanks for the clarification.  I'll change it to aileron roll and add a footnote to your picture

Next chapter may take me a few days due to online exams and the sheer length of the thing

Another thing. when he's dying why was his last thoughts on Rainbow Dash and not on his parents or friends. Other than that love this story

>>386655386655  Funny you should ask!

That will be touched upon and explained as the story goes along (although it's partly because he saw the parallel between Dash and himself and she was his inspiration to push himself)

I don't like revealing all the details all at once

And thank you for the kind comments!

>>386471386471 Curse you, Peppy Hare! Did you not know the confusion you would cause?!

>>386704386704 LOL I didn't wanna say it, but you spoke my mind

Jees, its seems that EVERYPONY'S very moody in this fanfic.

In fact, maybe a tad bit too moody for my tastes...

Otherwise, fantastic story! Tracking, liked, and will continue to read!

>>386796386796

Heh, sorry.  Things are just kinda weird for everyone in the story

Volare finaly achieved his dreams only for them to be taken away on the first day and now he's just trying to learn how to function in a new world

Dash feels major guilt for nearly getting Volare killed and now she's having to lie about it so he doesn't hate her (so she thinks)

Twilight feels happy/strange because she finally met a pony that she can have an in-depth scientific conversation with without boring them to death, not to mention he's a guy who doesn't think she's a major dork ^^;

and Spike feels somewhat jealous of Volare for basically invading his life and spending time with his mother figure

Sooo yeah, kinda moody, but kinda justified

LOL but don't worry, it lightens up a bit in the next chapter when a certain pony spots the newest pegasus in town...

But thank you for the comments!

Heck, thanks for EVERYONE'S comments

I'm waiting for when they send him back and the US Navy is going to be all like, "WTF are we supposed to do with a pony?"

Yeah, that'll be cool.

I sure do loves me some science!

>>386995386995  Heh...you'll see what crazy idea I have pertaining to that...or not at all

>>387020387020  Heh thanks.  I was trying to strike a balance between putting in enough info to explain things while also not boring people to death

Just trying to get ya'll to appreciate the science of pegasus flight because it comes into play much more in the future

Hahahaha-You're funny. And you said no shipping. I... I see where this is going.

>>387194387194  LOL where do you suppose it's going?

Something between RD and Volare. Btw, at some point, you wrote (instead of Pegasus) pagasus.

>>387294387294  Yeah I know I mis-spelled it a few times and I thought I got it all, thanks

As for Dash and Volare...you'll see

>>387417387417 As my friend would say, "Whoa-ho-ho! Don't get too carried away there!"

>>387577387577 LOL just trust me...it's not what you expect

Sorry if this thing sent out an update you guys

I published it but the April Fools joke of the site is messing it up (especially the names)

I'll republish it once it's back to normal

Again sorry you guys

EDIT: nvm guys, just click the TOGGLE G1 Mode button at the bottom of the site

now it's all readable

XD;

Suddenly Ditzy out of no where through the wall to steal Volares muffins.....

Silly volare, you cannot harm us authors of our own multiverses. You can only hope that he doesn't decide to ship you with Dash. (Or do hope, since you're a pony now.)