Prologue-Pt 1: Clear for Takeoff!
"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong..."
-Murphy's Law
--------------------------------
March 24th, 2012
NAS Kingsville, Texas
0700 hours
“Ah, good morning, flight team,” Captain Snow, veteran of the Second Gulf War and third year flight lead of The Blue Angels greeted cheerfully through his flight helmet mic. It was the first practice day of a new season; late March. The South Texas sky was nearly cloudless and the breeze was gently blowing in off the coast from the Southeast. The early morning sun gleamed off the bright blue and yellow paint of seven F/A-18 Hornet jets of the U.S. Navy. Perfect weather for flying! He looked down at his jet's gauges and at the HUD, nodding at each positive reading from his instruments before clicking his mic again. “Complete final check-in before commencement. Angel Number One ready.”
“Angel Number Three ready,” barked Lieutenant Bruce, a second year Angel pilot and Snow’s eventual replacement at the end of the season, as Angel pilots served a maximum term of three years before rotating out. Bruce was more than capable and loyal enough to take his place.
“Angel Number Two ready. Urgh, glad ya’ll can’t smell that bagel that ain’t agreeing with me,” joked Lieutenant Gentry, another second year and one of the most random people Snow had ever encountered. But he came highly recommended and once in the air he was all business.
“Stow the idiocy, Gentry,” snapped Lieutenant Junior Grade Cadence, a second year and the first female Angel pilot in their history. Some whispered she was only put there to satisfy the need for politically correct diversity, but Snow knew she was deadly in a jet, and took no guff off of anyone who thought they knew her otherwise. “Angel Four ready for takeoff.”
“Angel Five checking in,” Captain Babcock piped up. “Got a small hesitation in engine number two, but I think it’s just the morning cold is all. She’ll run fine once she’s warm.” Babcock was their oldest member, a veteran of the First Gulf War, and nearing his late forties. But his record was impeccable, and he knew jet engines like most Navy wonks never would. “Ah there we go.” Snow could practically hear Babcock’s smile over the radio as he blipped the throttle. “Angel Number Five is ready for takeoff!”
-------------------
After a few long moments of silence, Cadence yelled into her mic, “Hey Volare! Wake up!” Her voice startled their newest recruit, Lieutenant Junior Grade Volare, out of his thoughts in the cockpit of Angel Number Six. He was a mere twenty-three years of age, but he had already acquired nearly eighteen hundred flight hours, absolutely determined to be accepted onto the squad he'd idolized since his youth. But despite his extensive hours, he was still young, and young minds tended to wander. But while some young minds wandered towards women, glory, or what-have-you, his wandered towards something rather unexpected.
He was almost embarrassed to admit it, but he was a closet brony in the Navy, and had been for some time now. He could only imagine the barbs that would be hurled at him if his peers discovered he watched My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, although he’d heard rumors that Cadence thought the show was amusing.
But it wasn’t really the show’s humor or good lessons that intrigued him. No, it was a certain group of ponies that got his attention: the Pegasi stunt group, The Wonderbolts, and their biggest fan and the most amazing flyer on the show, Rainbow Dash. He was quick to draw the comparisons between The Wonderbolts and the Blue Angels, and even quicker to see the similarities between Dash’s desire to join the stunt squad and his own wish to be part of The Blue Angels; something his own granddad had been part of in the sixties and his father had been a member of in the eighties. Flying was in his blood!
Well Dash, he thought to himself as the other pilots sounded off. Looks like I beat ya to the punch! Who’s awesome now? He patted his flight jacket where he'd sewn a small patch the shape of Dash's lightning bolt cutie mark into the inner lining. It seemed dorky as all hell, but it had given him an extra bit of confidence for a nearly a year now, and then some. Volare smiled at the thought before Cadence interrupted his little moment of pride.
“Er, um, sorry. Angel Number Six air-ready sirs… and ma’am,” he acknowledged the female Lieutenant as she’d demanded he do despite the fact that he was technically her superior-if not in rank than in flight hours.
“Boy, she’s got you whipped!” remarked Major Ernest, a third year squad member out of the Marine Corps and a real redneck smart ass if there ever was one.
“Hey watch it Ernest, or I’ll show you a thing or two,” Volare shot back at the Marine before Snow stopped the nonsense.
“Alright enough chatter! Ernest, are you ready to get this show on the road?”
“Ya mean in the air? Heh-heh yeah! Angel Seven ready to rock ‘n roll! Yeehaaww!” Everyone else rolled their eyes.
Snow tried to facepalm but realized the helmet visor was in the way. Ernest rivaled Gentry in weirdness, but he was a good ol’ boy so to speak, and loyal to his country to an almost scary degree. Snow would deal with him if the time came. Then again, if he was out by year’s end, then he’d be Bruce’s problem. Heh-heh, Ernest would probably learn a few manners the hard way then!
“Alright folks, I wanna take this nice and slow for Angel Six. It’s his first practice with us, and I don’t want you guys doing anything too crazy and wigging him out!” Snow started to drop the formalities a bit. It was probably a bad habit he admitted to himself, but it was something that happened the more the team bonded together.
“Don’t worry Volare,” Cadence cooed into her mic. “I’ll be nice and gentle for your first time,” she cackled loudly, giving Snow a thumbs up through the jet canopy. The other five pilots responded in kind, with Volare picking up on it last but following suit.
Heh, gonna miss this one of these days, Snow thought as he gave the ground control crew a thumbs up of his own. Guess I’ll just have to make this a season to remember!
“Ground Control, this is Flight Lead. My team is ready, over.”
“Roger, Flight Leader,” came the quick response from the control tower flanking the tarmac. “You are clear for takeoff. Give us a good practice over coffee, will ya? Over!”
“Will do!” he said, chuckling as he looked out at his team before turning the nose of his jet towards the end of the runway and touching the throttle, propelling the Hornet towards its destination with the atmosphere. “Follow me single file and we’ll meet at 10,000 feet. Volare, you studied the routine?”
“Yes sir!” Volare confirmed quickly. He was ready for this! He thought back to Dash right before her big race when she performed her first Sonic Rainboom and the determined face she made at the starting line. If it weren’t for the dark flight visor, the other pilots would have seen him making that same face right now; tongue in the corner of his mouth and all!
-------------------
“Volare, get control! Oh shit! Pull up, Volare!” Snow barked, circling his plane as he helplessly watched Angel Number Six plummet to the ground, both engines flamed out.
Why, oh why, oh why did I have to get carried away?! Volare fought the stick, trying to pull the jet out of the death dive. How had things gone so wrong so fast?!
Everything had gone smoothly at first, and he'd executed his low transition pitch-up takeoff with perfect precision, keeping his landing gear extended and performing a "dirty roll" before retracting the gear, rolling twice more, and then joining the squad, who were hooting and hollering at him for being "too textbook and stiff." He took the jabs in stride, a huge grin on his face as Snow told them all to simmer down, that it was time to get down to business. Volare was told that for his first day to take it easy, and that although he'd studied the routine backwards and forwards, the Captain preferred for the new member to observe for a time and get used to the Hornet's sensitive, modified controls before really jumping into it. They didn't need any hot-dogging causing an accident.
But then, while flying solo on the port side of a diamond formation in observation, he could have sworn he saw something that very nearly blended in with the blue of the sky go streaking past a cloud to his left at a shallow downwards angle. He thought his mind was playing tricks on him until he saw it shoot out from the cloud and dive into another one.
“Flight Lead this is Angel Six, over!”
“Go ahead Six.”
“Sir, did you see that thing at seven o’clock low? It was hauling ass!”
“…please clarify, Six, over!”
“Sir, are there any other blue planes in the vicinity with air clearance at the moment, over?”
“I don’t have anything on my radar, Six, over!” Snow shook his head for a moment before his radio squawked in his ear again.
“Contact! Contact! Ten o’clock high!” Volare shouted as he spotted the small blue shape again go shooting upwards and around another cloud without emerging from the other side. Instantly, the combat instincts he'd honed for the past four years kicked in and took over. “Tally-ho on possible hostile. Angel Six in pursuit!”
Without asking for permission to engage, Volare tilted the nose of the jet up and shot after the object, despite Snow’s yells to cease and desist. Their Hornets were unarmed, but he’d at least get visual confirmation on whatever that thing was! Volare thought he had enough experience, but in the heat of the moment also forgot that Angel pilots don’t wear G-suits to prevent blackouts.* That was going to be part of today’s practice session, and he had no idea just how much his life would be affected by such a fast and foolish decision.
The shape shot out from behind the cloud and arced over his jet, trailing a colorful blur of a wash behind it. Volare tried to follow the object, but the flight path took his vision right into the sun. He shielded his eyes and cursed, looking around frantically for the object before realizing it was flying right above his canopy! Although it was silhouetted by the sun, Volare could tell it was too small to be a jet. Then it… waved at him? He swore it frickin waved at him before it shot off again and suddenly pulled an impossible maneuver, turning a perfect right angle in midair and zipped behind a cloud, as if daring the pilot to follow him.
“Don’t do it, Volare! The plane can’t take it!” Snow tried to warn, but it was no use. The hot-headed young pilot had his sights fixed and he was going for it! The kid was good and he'd read his record a dozen times before-hand, but the Captain still cursed himself for ever getting talked into letting this hot-shot on the squad. "Shit-fire you crazy son of a bitch!!"
As Volare attempted to whip a tight pursuit arc around the small cumulus cloud at over seven hundred miles per hour and follow the cyan shape, the G-forces of the turn caused him to black out for an instant. His nerveless arms fell forward onto the stick and throttle, slamming the intake shut. This stalled the engines and the plane began to plummet.
He came to moments later to the sounds of every alarm he could imagine in the jet blaring at him. His altimeter warning screeching at him made him realize he was nearly at five thousand feet! The voices of his teammates and commander faded into the roar of the wind as the young Lieutenant fought for control, reminding him of just how quickly things could go pear-shaped when a person left terra-firma. "Mayday! Mayday! Engines one and two are out! Control is nil-argh, dammit!" he cried into the mic as his eyes flicked from his instruments to the ground that was quickly filling his canopy, and back to the numb-feeling flight stick before him.
“Dammit rookie!” Cadence dove her jet after him, knowing that Snow would probably chew her ass for this. Why’d she have to be soft at the worst damn times?! She quickly reached the stricken plane and stayed on his wingtip, barking orders into her radio. “Volare, open that throttle up and give it fuel! Pull the hell up! Use your instincts! Get outta there!” She coached him as best as she could, but as her screaming warning lights told her, she soon had to pull out of the dive herself. Volare was on his own as she craned her neck to stare at the floundering jet with a sick, helpless feeling in the pit of her stomach. Sure the kid was a hot-shot, but nobody deserved it like this...
“Come on, come on, come on!” Volare pulled back on the stick, his shoulder shaking with the effort as he punched the throttle, dumping fuel into the engines, but only succeeded in flooding them, causing them to spew black smoke as he headed towards the ground. He could see that his current trajectory would take him straight into the middle of the airbase, killing who knows how many there. There was only one way to avoid it…
He made the decision without thought, and took his hand off the throttle and grabbed the stick in both hands. He heaved back on the stick to pull the nose away from the base and at least hit the hopefully empty field bordering its eastern perimeter. After a few agonizing moments, the Hornet's nose finally lifted more towards the horizon and out over the empty prairie and marshlands, but he was now too close to the ground to even think about gliding to a safe landing! He had one last option left.
“I screwed up…sorry guys...sorry Dash…” His hand trailed down to the bright yellow ejection seat ring and grasped it firmly. It was now or never. Taking a deep breath, he yanked the ring, popping the canopy open… and then else nothing happened!
It was a malfunction at the worst possible time.
The howling wind tore away his briefly-uttered “Wha”- before his Hornet belly-flopped into the ground, bounced once, and then burst in a ball of fire and shredded metal. As the flames began to eat through his flight suit, he felt everything move in slow motion as his mind struggled to process his final milliseconds. He could tell if he lived there would be much pain to come from the flames, but he was going to die, so his mind didn't think about that. No, the only absurd thought his mind could conjure as the plane ricocheted back into the air was that of Rainbow Dash frowning at him with an almost apologetic look; almost like it was her fault that he was going to die.
There was a sudden ripping sensation about his shoulders, and then he then felt… nothing… no, more than nothing! He heard the wind whistling past his ears and felt himself being whisked away from the wreckage at a speed so fast he could hardly get his eyes to focus. A comforting voice was talking to him, but he couldn’t understand it. He thought he was peacefully going to heaven for a moment, but then he felt more. He felt the pain of the burns from the jet fuel all over his body. He sucked in a breath to scream, but was silenced by a muffled explosion and a sudden extra rush of cold air over his body, temporarily taking away the pain.
He tightly hugged whatever it was that was carrying him faster than he ever thought possible. It was comfortingly soft and smelled like rain. But the high altitude and lack of an abundance of oxygen was getting to him now, and he soon lost the struggle to remain conscious. Before his vision “pin-pointed” out, he saw that same bright patch of cyan, a brilliant prism flash of colors, and then peaceful darkness as the roar of the wind slowly faded away into silence.
"Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect..."
Margaret Mitchell
----------------
*Blue Angels pilots don’t wear G-suits due to the fact that they’d inflate and deflate too much during their maneuvers and interfere with their flight sticks. So they learn to tense their body muscles instead to prevent too much blood flow from the brain at once.
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First! Good story so far!
All I can say is
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/proceed-baby.jpg
Yes, please to be with the continuing, yes!
Perfect music for this
This is a definite track and thumbs up. Good job author.
pretty good so far, although it seems a little quick-paced for me. I would have liked more elaboration on the stunts he was performing before and during the flame-out.
368148 I didn't wanna get too technical and bore people to death
The maneuver he attempted to pull to pursue was basically a very abrupt flat half loop or banked turn, but at WAY too fast a speed to keep up with his target, causing him to black out. The flameout was caused by his elbow hitting the throttle controls which slammed them shut, choking the engine of air, and causing it to stall out. He then dumped too much fuel into it in a panic to start it, and that flooded it. Hope that clears it up a bit ^^;;
368115 Thanks!
You got it!
I'll try to have the next chapter up tomorrow!
Things...well...things don't go too well for Volare to say the least
368130 LOL yes evil baby commander
368137 LOL which company owns Top Gun?
Imma be sued by them for this story at this rate
368115 Thanks!
Hell yeah, I want it continued!
You can use the edit button to condense unessesary double-posting.
Also
memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/MOAR.jpg
Hmmm... yes, I do like. Please, continue.
368171 Okey dokey lokey!
368217 Will do!
368209 Thanks *edits posts*
And yessir! *salutes*
368238 Yay!
I would love to see more of this!
Well, it could use some more description (it took me about six paragraphs to realize they were actually in the planes for instance), and there seems to be a lot of telling rather than showing as to the traits each character has, but the character themselves interact in a fun way, and the jargon seems legit, so kudos for that.
368335 Heh thanks for the critique
I fixed the first paragraph to show they're in the jets ^^;;
As for the characters, well...ever heard of the Chekhov's Gun rule of writing?
"do not include any unnecessary elements in a story."
I tend to use that alot in my writing...so I tend to only focus on what matters instead of too much side-info
And since Volare is one of the main characters of the story...much more info on him to come!
Oh and I'll also explain his name soon too ^^;
>2012
>Not continuing a fabulous story such as this.
ISHYGDDT
This looks alot like the story on here named "the stranded pilot".
I look forward to more of this.
368482 Whoa...I didn't see that at all
Heh, but from what I can see in the synopsis...the similarities end pretty quickly soon
Know much about planes and piloting?
>> MistarFish
I knew what it was even before I clicked the link.
*video comes up* CALLED IT!!
My reaction so far:
cdn3.digitaltrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/not-bad-obama.png
Dude, V! I am glad I finally found time to read this...because it is just great so far! Now onto the rest!
368372
But if the readers are challenged to dig through mountains of descriptions most of which are trash, then what brings out their dedication? If the reading isn't challenging, how are you to compete with faulkner? Who wrote a sentence that spanned over three pages, yet managed to be relatively understandable.
I like where this is heading by the way.
Awesome
...don't stop baby
If you need any help with military jargon, feel free to PM me, as this one almost failed in that regard (Former US Army). If anything, you should feel good because you did leagues better than Hollywood.
Callsigns would be more like: Angle-One (Although that actually means "at one-thousand feet", Angles-X in mil-speak [fancy way of saying military jargon] means "at x thousand feet". Example: "Engaging bandits at Angles-seven" means, "attacking enemy aircraft at 7,000 feet"). I recommend finding a different callsign.
There is no Major in the US Navy. That's a rank in the USAF, USMC, and the US Army, but not the US Navy. A Major's equivalent in the Navy would be a Lieutenant Commander.
Don't use the shorthand or acronyms when it comes to ranks. Those are only used when space would be a premium (ex: in a newspaper, a list, a small name plaque, and other things like that, but in writing a story, it's almost never).
Cool Story Bro
but i hate to admit to you that The USAF Thunderbirds are Twenty Percent more cooler than anything the Blue's can even dream of
It's times like this I'm glad I played HAWX, otherwise I'd have no idea idea what you were talking about.
Alright I have no idea why I read this. The fic is good and all but the 'involves physics' and all that shiz in the desc. I normally would've just past it since I don't understand that. I'm serious. I don't need to understand physics since I defy all laws of physics.
i dont know what this is but im gonna read it anyway!
Well Dash he thought to himself as the other pilots sounded off.
awesome story btw. must keep reading!
Looks like I beat ya to the punch! Who’s awesome now?
He patted his flight jacket where he'd sewn a small patch the shape of Dash's lightning bolt cutie mark into the inner lining. It seemed dorky as all hell.
i just had to smile during that part and this one: Sonic Rainboom and the determined face she made at the starting line. If it weren’t for the dark flight visor, the other pilots would have seen him making that same face right now; tongue in the corner of his mouth and all! cuz i used 2 make that face when i was little! i was a huge rainbow dash when i was 5.
first chapter complete. u have piqued my interest and it reminds me of "where no mare has gone before"
Funny, I just noticed that pilot number 3 speaks up before #2... And I read this so many times...
Also:
Now that I think of it. It's an interesting thing he smelled rain... because human memory is the most powerful when asociating scents. So now he needs to really smell the rain. Possibly from Rainbow hugging him? I mean much, much later in the story. If that ever happens. Not that I know, I read it like 3 times now, but...
Seriously, it didn't but the possibility is still there. The more distant memory, the more sudden it's surfacing out will be. And at the least expected moment too.
I lived about an hour from Andrews AFB, so I know how exciting the Blue Angels can be and how you can compare the Wonderbolts to them. I was just waiting for a fic about it. Not disappointed.
368130that is the scariest f***ing thing i have ever seen in my entire life
I am just curious, why was he traveling at 700Mph, at Appx. 10,000Ft? That's dangerously close to Mach 1 (734Mph)... I also question if the F/A 18 could even pull off that maneuver at that speed...I highly doubt it.
Aside from that...
Even with the notes about rewriting - this is a particularly failtacular piece of fiction.
I find it extremely unlikely that a pilot with enough experience to be a Blue Angel would simply 'forget' he wasn't wearing a G-suit. I've somewhat surprised that the airraft dont have software G-limiters installed (since high G isn't needed for good theater) to prevent exactly this kind of thing from happening. I'm also not entirely certain blackout can be as instantanous as you imply. Blood vessels are only so big after all, and thus blood pressure can only drop so fast.
That aside, the pilot also forgets several aspects of flight safety. It's not "Woah! Did anyone else see that?" it's "Warning! Stop practice! Civilian in the area!" due to the dangers of collision. The pilot is too stupid to remember how to go through an engine restart? Seriously? He tries to pull up during engine restart. Seriously? The pilot tries to pull on a fly-by-wire control stick with all his strength? Seriously? Though one must commend his navigation skills in precisely aiming at such a small target as a hanger, while unconcious. Even if he only realises this because he fogot how to bail out at an appropiet altitude.
There are also several instances of infodumping, and passive voice.
The story might get better (A brony? Meeting the mane six? <sigh>
) and I'll read the next few entries, but this is still a very silly chapter. And as the introduction of your story, it also might benifit from being the focus of your efforts at a rewrite.
I dont mean to be nit-picky but there are allot of in-accuracies here. also i found a slight punctuation mistake.
Unnecessary period.
1665064 Actually, the higher you go, the slower sound travels. At 10,000 feet, the plane may have been actually about to exceed mach 1. As for the plane pulling off that maneuver, it is just within the flight envelope capabilities of the F/A-18 Hornet. (a plane that is considered nearly as maneuverable as an F-16 Falcon.)
1668076 Ok, time to pick your analysis apart.
He is the newest member, and has not been flying as long as the other members on the team, so he has less experience. Also, just by reading this first chapter, I get the feeling that this pilot's mind wanders a bit more easily than the other pilots' minds on the team. So the forgetting, especially in a highly stressful situation. (you have an unknown bogie, not showing up on radar, in this day and age, you HAVE to investigate, lest it turn out to be something that intends on attacking a target on US soil. Has been that way since 9/11/01. I can understand how the pilot would have had a lapse there.)
The planes do not have the limiters, because they may interfere with control of the plane, especially if it should fail. Also, such a limiter would be much harder to install on the F/A-18 Hornet, due to the fact that the plane is NOT a fly-by-wire plane. It uses hydraulic actuators which are controlled by the movement of the stick, and the foot pedals. Furthermore, the return springs that center the controls are replaced with much heavier springs on the Blue Angel's planes, to give an added degree of feel and control. (40lb springs in this case)
You know... arguing the technical details and such when I am only working on my first cup of coffee for the day is not worth my effort. But, if you want to critique a story with feedback such as what you provided, at least have the decency to know the facts.
To the Author:
Why are the Angels in Kingsville, Texas? They are stationed out of NAS Pensacola in Florida, and they winter over in El Centro, California.
Anyways, this story looks promising. That and the fact that two of my fellow writer friends (Yuki and P3RRO) have personally recommended you, and this story in particular. I shall add this to my Fav list, and look forward to quite a bit of reading pleasure.
and so starts my attempt to read this from beginning to end nonstop. gods be with me.
*reads first half of this chapter* Holy mother buck. I am going to have to clear up my schedule for the next few days. I'm gonna be sitting in my room reading this...
Erm... Uhh... How do I put this nicely... THIS CHAPTER BUCKING SUCKED FLANK! Plus why isn't it tagged with HUMAN?!? I'll read a little bit more, it better get better
Erm... Uhh... How do I put this nicely... THIS CHAPTER BUCKING SUCKED FLANK! Plus why isn't it tagged with HUMAN?!? I'll read a little bit more, it better get better
Wow....... What an Explosive start for Poor ole Val.....
I must say that rereading the story is going to be fun...
With all the the new updates already posted I wouldn't be surprised if we the readers have forgotten just what, why and how this story got started!
and now for me to go back on the old memory lane!
Rereading this, I remembered my original prediction for the story: It's some kind of An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge scenario.
Having now followed it for 70 chapters, I've got to say that if that is the way this story ends, it would be the ballsiest, most mind-blowing twist ever. Also, I would have to have you killed.
Hmm... this sounds familiar somehow...
2013809 The Blue Angels fly the analogue F/A-18A Hornet, right?
You know what... I'm gonna read this whole story again... this story is the reason I made an account on here so I'm gonna damn well read it! :D
m.quickmeme.com/img/39/394f4ed1507a373b0aaaf161dc66a4645b4a35c14c11c3dcbf1e7295d28355d2.jpg
700'000 words.
*slowly curls up into ball crying* so many words
Hmm. This hasn't been updated in a very long time, so it's likely a dead story. But since I'm here, I may as well share my opinions.
First impression: Brony meets favorite character. Gotta say that's a massive negative in my view. From the first chapter, I see no benefit to making the protagonist a Brony. We'll see if there's a justifiable cause for this.
Second thought: how in the hell did someone that scatterbrained get into a fighter pilot position? You only get chosen to fly after you show that you can handle the pressure. And the amount of training that goes into recovering from such faults like this are mind boggling. I can understand someone screwing up their first time out, but it really makes me think less of him to see that series of failures.
Third: There is zero chance that guy's alive. First off, an impact at that velocity is instantly fatal. Second, JP-5 jet fuel that the navy uses has a flash point greater than 140 degrees. If you drop a match in a bucket of the stuff, the match goes out. If it is on you an burning, you are already dead.
Fourth thing I noticed: For Dash to pull him out of the cockpit really stretches my suspension of disbelief. She would have to smash through some insanely tough tempered glass, disengage his harness (which is really tricky unless you know how), and break back out without killing herself or him.