Granny Smith comes down with a rare disease called "kidney stones" that is baffling doctors all across Equestria.
But when a doctor assures the Apple Family that he can solve her painful problem, a new problem arises: paying for the treatment.
Faced with such a devastating (and expensive) problem, Applejack turns to her best friends, who come up with a rather dangerous way to make some fast cash.
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Spike- ummmm, twilight, girls? you do realize you could jsut ASK celestia to allow the treatment, right? i mean, you guys saved equistrai how many times?
Celestia- Screw you guys, I'm going home! *flies away*
3998386 But that would just be boring, robbing a bank seems more 'legit'
I'll read this later till then- he sets down a boombox and pushed play on it as 'It's a set up.' plays- :3
I hope you don't (for lack of a better term) wuss out when it comes to violence. Now by no means should you create gratuitously gorey atrocities just for the sake of it, hell sometimes just the threat of violence is enough, but its annoying when something clearly dark and violent is apparently devoid of said darkness or violence. But regardless you have to do something to show that you protagonists are serious.
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You don't need to worry. The cover art is actually a reference to Quentin Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs," which is by no means a PG movie. You won't see any Deus Ex Machinas here, and you also won't see hard, raw conflict being simply avoided. Actually, I was most inspired to write about the Mane 6 being faced with extremely tense and serious situations, keeping characters in mind (this is where the comedy comes in) during the heist. I've seen a lot of heist movies, and by far the most enjoyable ones are when everything does not go as planned, and things get a bit dirty, to say the least.
Thanks for the comment, though!
...Yeah, I'm with Twi on this, Granny Smith is family to them, but lots of people could get hurt, it ain't worth hurting others to get their way.
I actually don't blame them for robbing a bank. If it's the only option to save a loved one, then it just has to be done.
Twilight is a party pooper!
I wonder what Granny Smith would think about this.
Im gonna be blunt: you need a more pressing motive. The mane six wouldn't resort to bank heists for such a reason. At worst they might threaten the doctors or steel the equipment to perform the procedure. There just isn't enogh motive for such a crime. Now if they had to pick up money to settle a debt, that would be different. You should have them get the money from a loanshark and then have to rob their way out of debt.
Ok, I like the premise, but there are a few problems:
1. None of the (good) ponies seem to be concerned with the fact that stealing in itself is a crime even if you don't hurt anybody.
2. Couldn't Celestia (or Twi or one of the doctors) just teleport the kidneystone out of granny?
3. The whole thing is going way too fast (and that's Me saying it)
4. I doubt they are so stupid to rob a bank with no preparation whatsoever just because Twi wouldn't join 'em. I doubt any of them used a gun before so going in with guns they never used and with no masks, disguises or anything is like arming them with the idot ball.
You need to show us more, where are the guns from , how do they even use 'em, is it just RD, AJ and Pinkie, what bank are they robbing, what's the plan for later etc...
I suggest you read the When Good Ponies Go Bad and take some notes from there, as it is a good story with a similar plot...
You have my interest ::steeples hands:: please continue....
Someone's been playing Pay Day.
Applejack is bad at this.
Ok this chapter corrected some of the faults from before. Looking forward to reading the next one.
I agree with 4408989, we need to see more details involving preparation (physicaly, economicaly, and mentaly).
Is this a thing that happens in Equestria? Or are the Mane six the first ponies to ever try this?
Will this ever continue?
I truly hope that you miraculously decide to continue this. What an exhilarating story!
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Fuck yeah it will go on. I apologize for my extended hiatus of a couple of years, but I'll be editing and publishing this story to completion. I had a lot planned for it and honestly forgot about this little project, but I'm back now. So long as you guys and the other 12 or so people who found this story are still active and eager, I'll keep posting. Thank you kindly for your support.
7914780 YAY!!!
7914780 Glad to hear it! I still have this on my watch-list, and your reply immediately reminded me of my excitement for it! Looking forward to the continuation!
How has no one noticed how this is the same plot for catch that kid good movie too
yes it lives
This was great! Welcome back, man, I've been thirsting for this story for so long
..... A CORRUPT COP. SON OF A BITCH. GIRLS HURT THIS BASTARD BAD.
DAAAAAAMMMMNN i see Applejack vs Total Rule in the future
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I'm curious, what's your favorite heist movie? My personal favorite is Point Break (the old one not the remake)
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That is my favorite game in the world. I've gotten to infamy 15 twice already, and am working on my third. Not that you really care, but I saw it mentioned and thought back to good times.
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This comment is old, but i'm replying anyway. I know, I hope Twi is like Bain. (Hahahaha Brain, Get it?)
I like where this is going...
Wow, what a dick!
So, nobody else on the street saw this? They're on a public street.
I can see this only going poorly for Total Rule...
Yeah... with that many witnesses, he'd be going down.
...you got the idea from that old Disney Channel movie, didn't you~?
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What a coincidence. I haven't actually seen the movie (I swear!) but I will definitely watch it after I finish this to reduce the influence I might get!
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Yup, I loved Point Break and developed a love for heist scenes from there. I like the heists in Dark Knight and Resevoir Dogs too.
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The problem with street racing is that it disrupts traffic flow because people/ponies will block a street for a race, so the street itself was empty. But that isn't to say that nopony saw. We'll just have to see.
Busy, busy, busy this academic quarter. At the absolute latest, I'll get a new chapter in before the end of June. As I plan for the next chapter to be pretty... eventful, this one will take a good amount of time to polish and I do not want to rush it. Thanks for your patience.
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WELP
Hope life is good 7 years later