• Published 24th Feb 2014
  • 1,425 Views, 16 Comments

From Riches to True Wealth - XSomeGuyX



Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to realize you never fell that far to begin with.

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From Riches to True Wealth

Ponyville’s clock tower struck noon and the schoolhouse quickly came to life with the impatient scurrying of fillies and colts ready for their break to eat their midday meal. Diamond Tiara found an isolated place to eat her simple lunch, a plain daisy sandwich and a carton of apple juice. It was the same as yesterday and the day before that. It had been the same since her father, Filthy Rich, lost their family’s fortune and company when a new competitor, Neighmart, stole all their customers. Or at least, that is what her father had told her.

Though for the most part Diamond Tiara acted much like she did before, she could not bring herself to eat lunch with her “bestie," Silver Spoon, for fear that her lunch would reveal her family's financial crisis. Diamond Tiara knew if Silver Spoon saw her lunch, she would immediately begin making fun of her, perhaps even as bad as the “Blank Flanks.” Diamond Tiara knew this because they practically shared a mind and she would do no less herself.

Why me? Diamond Tiara sighed, taking a sip from her apple juice. Just then, she saw the three fillies who had yet to receive their Cutie Marks.

“Hmph! At least I have my Cutie Mark!” she huffed, if only to herself.

“Diamond Tiara!” she heard somepony call her name. “Diamond, dear, I found you!”

“Mom!? What are you doing here!?” Diamond whispered harshly as she quickly hid deep within the brush near the school.

“I’m sorry, dear,” her mother apologized with gentle smile. “But it seems that your father had forgotten his lunch again. Can you please take it to him?”

“Ok, ok… can you just… leave!?” she told her mother, not wanting to be seen with her mother in her work clothes.

“I’ll leave it right here,” her mother replied, retrieving a small brown paper bag from her saddlebags and placing it on the ground. “Do hurry, dear! I’m sure that your father must be starving after having been working all day!”

The mare quickly hurried off. Her daughter came out of the bushes only after she could no longer hear her mother’s gallop. Giving a deep sigh, Diamond stared the bagged lunch her mother left behind. Her father, the former richest stallion in Ponyville, was now working odd jobs just to keep their family afloat. The pay for all these jobs were modest, but even that may be stretching the truth. Even after moving out of their luxurious home to a small in-town house, her mother still had to take a part-time job in order to make ends meet.

Diamond watched as he took any work he could no matter how demeaning, from cleaning gutters to seasonal jobs, such as clearing snow in the winter or raking leaves in fall. Ponyville currently found itself in the middle of applebuck season, which Diamond knew meant that he would be helping working the fields at Sweet Apple Acres. That already ran the risk of having the three "Blank Flanks" seeing her father working there. The last thing she wanted to do is add to that by visiting the farm herself. However, she knew that she could not just leave her father without a meal.

In the end, her conscience won over. She scooped up the paper bag and began her trek to Sweet Apple Acres.


Diamond Tiara finally reached the apple orchards but could not find hide nor hair of her father. It seemed that she had attracted some attention after circling the same set of trees for good while and a certain member of the Apple family saw it necessary to intervene in her inevitably futile search.

“Can I help ya there, sugarcube?” she heard a voice call from behind her. She jumped at first when she heard the strong accent, reminding her a lot of Apple Bloom’s way of speaking. Luckily for her, she turned around to find it was Apple Bloom’s elder sister, Applejack.

“Uh… Umm…” Diamond Tiara stumbled over her words.

“I’m guessin’ yer here lookin’ fer yer dear ol’ dad, ain’t ya?” Applejack asked her, lowering her head to the filly’s eye level.

Of course she would know… she did hire him, Diamond Tiara thought as her cheeks gained a light red shade. I hope that Apple Bloom hasn’t seen him… I’ll be a laughing stock at school. It’d be perfect payback for all those “Blank Flank” jokes.

“Y-yeah… h-he forgot h-his lunch…” Diamond finally answered, keeping her head turned to avoid eye contact.

“I’m sure he’s built quite the appetite, workin’ the way he is,” Applejack smiled, gesturing to the filly to follow her. “I always thought that ya rich folk never knew the value of a hard day’s work, but hoo-wee, yer dad, he proved me wrong!”

“Huh?” Diamond Tiara asked, looking up the apple farmer’s face.

“Yeah, yer dad’s one mighty fine farmhoof,” Applejack continued. “Never heard him complain even once! There he is!”

Sure enough, Diamond saw her father as he beat the trunk of apple trees with his hindlegs. However, something seemed different about him, other than the fact that he was completely covered in dirt and sweat. Even after losing his home, most of his belongings and all the fortune he had built over the years, he seemed… happy. Diamond could see it in his face as he struggled to hit the last three apples off the tree he was working on, took a deep breath and looked to the tree with a small, yet proud, smile.

“Hey there, Filthy Rich! It looks like yer little filly came to bring ya yer lunch!” Applejack called out to the stallion.

“Diamond Tiara?” he asked, looking at the filly hiding behind her.

“Here, Dad…” Diamond said as she dropped the bag lunch at her father’s feet. “Mom said that you forgot it.”

“Thanks, honey,” Filthy replied, rubbing his muddy hoof into her mane, to her dismay. “But you better be heading back to class soon. Lunch time is almost over.”

“Ok, dad,” the filly said, cleaning her mane of the dirt he had incidentally filled it with.

“Tell ya what, Rich. I’ll walk her back,” Applejack told him. “I gotta take Apple Bloom and her friends back anyways. They wanted to try some of Granny Smith’s famous cinnamon apple pie. It ain’t no trouble. With ya working so hard, I’ve had some free time fer myself. Never thought I’d say that in applebuck season.”

“N-no! I-I can make it back by myself!” Diamond Tiara said, feeling her heart skip a beat at the mention of Apple Bloom.

“Ya sure?” Applejack asked her.

“Yeah!” Diamond answered as she began galloping away.


It seemed the early morning hour that her father had to wake up had a negative effect on his memory because he constantly forgot to take his lunch. It had become routine for Diamond to have to take her father his lunch every day at noon. However, she dreaded it each and every time. She feared that she would one day accidentally run into the three “Blank Flanks” and they would find out about her family’s financial problems. Word spreads fast in such a little school, and she knew it would only be a matter of days before Silver Spoon caught wind of it.

There had in fact been a few particularly close call, one in which she had nearly ran into the three fillies while they were attempting some sort of circus act. In the end, they had failed miserably but merely laughed off their botched try and immediately went on to begin their next attempt. In another occurrence, she had waited for them to finish some kind of play on a makeshift stage they had created on the farm. This also had failed to earn them their Cutie Marks as the small animals who had been watching all began throwing small berries and overripe apples at them. But still, they had not seem to lose heart and found solace in one another’s smiles, continuing on to make further plans to find their special talents.

Though she did not like having to visit the farm, her father seemed absolutely enthralled with his work there. With each passing day, she saw the twinkle in his eye grow ever so slightly. She could not understand why. In their new home, they lacked almost all the luxuries and comforts that their previous home offered. They even had to share a single bed because the home had only one bedroom and it was far too small to add a second bed. On top of that, they were barely able to pay for what little they had now. In any case, she was relieved in the fact that applebuck season was almost over and her father would soon resume work elsewhere.

She found herself on her final lunch delivery when she ran into Applejack once more. She had been kind enough to lead her to father whenever she found herself lost in the expansive apple orchards just as she had on the first day.

“Hey, sugarcube,” Applejack greeted her. “Here to give yer dad his lunch again?”

“Yeah…” Diamond replied. She never really had all that much to say to Applejack and only listened to what she had to say instead.

“Ya’ve been a fine lil’ filly to bring yer dad his lunch all these days…” Applejack complimented her.

“T-thank you…” Diamond Tiara blushed.

They traveled the rest of the way in complete silence. They finally found the stallion finishing up another tree in the final section of the orchard all but a few trees were bare of apples. Again, Diamond Tiara saw her father’s smile prevail through the intense work.

“Why is he so happy?” Diamond said out loud, quickly clapping her hoof over her mouth when she realized that she had done so.

“There’s just somethin’ about workin’ with yer hooves,” Applejack answered. “It can’t be beat. Then when ya finally get what ya’ve been workin’ fer, it makes it that much sweeter.”

“It does?” Diamond asked, looking to the mare.

“Yup,” Applejack told her. “If ya get handed everythin’ in life, ya can get spoiled. Like these apples…”

The blond earth pony promptly gave a nearby tree a light kick, allowing some apples to fall and smash themselves against the baskets below. Almost all of them were reduced to nothing but mush. Diamond only saw one retain its shape, though it still seemed somewhat spoiled to her.

“So, you just throw them out, right?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“No, even a spoiled apple are still useful…” Applejack said as she dug her hoof into the ground, creating a small hole in the ground. “Ya see, when clean up all them nasty innards and rotten peels, ya can still find the seeds. After a while, they’ll grow into some strong, upright apple trees, but they still came from those spoiled apples.”

“What about that one?” Diamond asked, pointing at the only thing that could actually be called an “apple” in the slushy brown mess.

“That one ain’t that bad,” Applejack answered, picking out of the basket and wiping it clean. “It’s just the outside that looks rotten. We can still pick away the bad parts, bake it together with some nice ripe apples and still have delicious pie!”

“How come only the spoiled apple fell off the tree?” Diamond Tiara asked as she spotted many apples still hanging off the tree’s limbs.

“The ripe ones ain’t so easy to knock off. It’ll take a lot more work than a lil' kick to get ‘em down,” Applejack answered, looking up at the apples as well. “Now, I love talkin’ about apples, but I think that’s enough chit-chat for one day. Maybe ya should go and give yer dad his lunch, huh?”

“Diamond Tiara!” Filthy Rich exclaimed, finally seeing his daughter next to Applejack.

“Hi, dad,” Diamond said very plainly.

“You came early. Did you want to join me for lunch today?” her father asked her, dirtying her mane once more with a hug.

“Uh… sure…” the filly replied, taking her own small lunch out of her saddlebags. “Dad?”

“Yes, honey?” the stallion asked after swallowing a bite from his sandwich.

“Are you really that happy working here?” she asked. “Whenever I come and give you your lunch, you’re always smiling.”

“I am? I never noticed,” Filthy answered, scratching his nose and giving a very big, goofy smile. “I guess I am.”

“Huh…” the filly took a sip from her juice carton.

As she reflected on everything that was said to her, she suddenly realized that Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were all trying to sneak past her in some sort of black pajamas.

Oh no! she thought as her eyes widened and pupils shrunk. They saw me!

It seemed that the three fillies noticed her eying them and immediately uncovered their faces.

“Oh man! Looks like we’re not cut out to be ninjas either!” Scootaloo shouted, kicking up some dirt in frustration. The other two in the group followed with groans.

“You can’t tell anyone that I was here!” Diamond Tiara yelled as she hid behind her father.

“Huh?” Apple Bloom asked. “Whaddya mean?”

“I think she’s talking about how we can’t tell anypony that her dad works here at Sweet Apple Acres because they aren’t rich anymore,” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “Oh…uh… sorry, sir.”

“No offense taken, little miss,” Filthy said as he stood up and went off to continue his work. “I’ll leave you with your friends, Diamond. Make sure you make it back to school on time!”

“You mean, you guys knew all this time!?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“Uh, yeah!” Apple Bloom said. “I thought everypony in town knew. It’s as big as a secret as Spike’s crush on Rarity.”

“I thought everypony would treat me different if they found out…” Diamond said, her voice trailing off.

“Why would we?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Yeah. I mean, you’re still the spoiled little daddy’s filly that we all know,” Scootaloo said matter-of-factly.

“Nothin’ changed,” Apple Bloom added.

“But… but…” Diamond stuttered but was quickly interrupted by the school’s bell.

“Uh-oh! We’re late for class!” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “Miss Cherilee’s not going to be happy!”

With that, they left her alone. She thought of chasing after them, making them explain themselves. However, she quickly settled on hurrying back to class before her absence upset their teacher.


Diamond Tiara could not help but think about everything that had happened for the past couple of days, and on that day particularly, throughout the rest of the day’s class, but the bell tolled, announcing their dismissal and interrupting her thoughts. As usual, the first ones out of the class were Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. They were already attempting another outrageous stunt to get them their Cutie Marks just outside on the school grounds. It seemed that this time they were trying to copy some sort of gymnastics they had seen somewhere.

“When will they ever learn?” Silver Spoon told her as Diamond Tiara watched them inevitably fail and pile on top of each other. “Come on, Diamond Tiara!”

“Well, that was a bust!” Scootaloo said, wriggling out from the bottom of their little pile.

“Hey, Blank Flanks, why don’t you just give up already? Maybe you just don’t have a special talent!” Silver Spoon laughed. “Right, Diam—”

“No!” Diamond Tiara said, moving in between Silver Spoon and the three fillies. “They’re working hard to find their special talents! I-I think that’s worth something at least!”

“Diamond?” Silver Spoon said, taken aback by her sudden change in stance.

“I mean… even if they haven’t got their Cutie Marks, they’re still happy while they’re trying!” Diamond Tiara continued, finally coming to a realization. “Just like my dad! We never may get all our stuff back… or our money… but he’s still happy because he’s working hard for what we do have!”

“Is it me or is Diamond Tiara sticking up for us?” Scootaloo asked her fellow members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“Shh!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both hushed the pegasus filly.

“If you get everything handed to you, then you just get spoiled,” Diamond Tiara echoed Applejack. “If you work for what you deserve… it might take a little longer… and it might be harder… but it feels much better when you do get it! I know that’s true because I’ve never seen my dad happier than now!”

“Hmph! I knew you'd start hanging out with Blank Flanks ever since daddy told me how your dad lost all his money! Doesn’t bother me! Bump bum—” Silver Spoon quickly cut herself off, noticing she had no one standing by her, and ran off to hide her red face.

“Wow…” the three fillies behind her said in unison, all their mouths hanging open.

Diamond Tiara sighed as she realized had effectively shooed away her only friend at school. She was just as alone as Silver Spoon was now, but she felt better about herself. Standing up for the three fillies almost felt as if she had defended her father in a way.

“Hey, Diamond Tiara!” Apple Bloom called out to her surprise, pulling the filly in closer. “Thanks! I don’t think Silver Spoon will be bothering us anymore!”

Us?” Diamond asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “You are going to hang out with us now, aren’t you?”

“Uh…” Diamond Tiara said.

“Guess losing all your stuff did change you a bit,” Scootaloo added. “You’re still a daddy’s filly, but in a good way.”

“Come on! We’re going over to Sweet Apple Acres, you gotta try one of Granny Smith’s pies!” Apple Bloom said as the group practically pushed her along the way.

They noticed a small tear roll off the filly’s face and paused.

“Are you ok, Diamond Tiara?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine…” she said, wiping away the tear. “I’m just... happy.”

Maybe I’m not that rotten after all… she thought to herself as they hurried off to the farm, together.

Comments ( 16 )

I really like reform stories and Diamond Tiara is one of my top 3 characters for it

3993623
Thanks, glad you liked it (I think). Thanks for being the first one to comment too. Any other feedback you'd like to give about it?

I am not good at making short opinions. Therefore I hope you find some usefulness in it anyways. These are my opinions from what I *recall* reading. The impressions I was left with. Talks about each character. And why I believe something to be off. Without further ado...


Personal Opinions Below. Personal Opinions Below. Personal Opinions Below.


This was really adorable. For something that's to be no more than 3k words, I'm impressed you fit in so much!

It isn't easy writing for Diamond Tiara. Many write her like an adult whose gone through college with an English Major and an obsession with butt tattoos. By contrast, you did a very believable job here to show how Diamond could work as a likable character and see redemption towards understanding, and coming to terms, that one can be a different kind of rich; See that the world doesn't always judge those based on how much they make and who they know.


Diamond Tiara
The only two things I can really think to criticize is Diamond Tiara having thought herself as being a rotten a filly. I loved AJ's lesson, even the nice way she put it about telling Diamond she's spoiled, subtle AJ, real subtle... no really that was pretty good there AJ!

“Hmph! At least I have my Cutie Mark!” she huffed, if only to herself. “And I didn’t have to work so hard for it either!

That however, not so subtle. That bit at the end is not something she'd brag to others about. We even see clear signs she's able to lead and influence others, so while she may use it for her own self gain, she's got a talent worth bragging about potentially.

Despite that great lesson AJ gave, however, it isn't really believable to suggest, within the context of this story, that Diamond was ever beating herself up over such a thought or had thunk it over more at all until that end moment. Now, had it played on her consistent misunderstandings and assumptions she has about ponies treat others based on wealth and status or had it been something about how she does have something worth contributing to others, then that callback could of had a much more powerful affect.

Here, it makes DT sound as if she considered everything she's done as horrible and she may resent past actions, over the pride of knowing that the world isn't as shallow as she was led to believe.

Diamond Tiara having thought she had been too rotten? She though blackmail was a legit bargaining tactic known as "diplomacy", I would hardly think she'd see what she's done in the past as rotten; more like she was in the right because she was better than everypony. In her spoiled, rich world, young filly mind, perspective.


Silver Spoon
I loved Silver Spoon's ending bit. It was a bit heartbreaking to see such an embarrassed Silver Spoon think and feel like her BFFF, had actually changed friends on her. Bringing up walls and spitting back a comment which led to the bump part was really sad. I loved it.

But despite how Spoon was, she had actually learned about Di's situation and didn't really pick on Diamond, instead her first instinctual reaction was to comment on whether she'd become friends with the CMC, feeling as if Silvy was more worried her best friend replacing her causing her to act out. Which, if you look at Silver having to remind Diamond in the latest episode "We" when Diamond was fascinated with a chance at meeting a princess through the CMC.

In that, Silver Spoon, showed a very defensive nature. She almost looked like if she hadn't acted up she would eventually be forgotten. That's a nice headcanon there actually. Silvy being worried of losing favor with Diamond some day, as her greatest fear... Haha, a lot of Silver 'fans' would probably go for my throat for implying that one.

Sorry, back on track...

While they did was have a small fight there, Silver leaving due to having insulted her friend and suddenly catch herself doing their signature hoofshake... god that was powerful there, I imagine things will be alright with them later as it can all easily be fixed later, once Spoon cools down.

I mean, Di and Silvy, they've had conflicting interests before, such as at the Cuteseniara which Spoon clearly wanted to be down and enjoy the party, but instead she had done her best to cheer up her friend. She followed her when she stormed away to the stairs where Diamond chose to mope. Silver being very worried about Diamond, stood by her side over participating with the others.
Next was that act of having enjoyed a very powerful story of Ponyville's origin, despite Diamond herself being wowed by the same story gave Silver a very blank expression. Even after Silver, even if unknowingly, sided with Apple Bloom that day to admit the facts AB stated were indeed true. Then, finally, the milkshake incident where Diamond takes Silver's drink because it was "only the best was enough good for her" and DT was later left with no treat. Both have a fairly tight relationship and have likely had a few arguments, who knows, but seem to work it out.


Having Diamond see and learn that the CMC aren't as judgmental as she and Silvy are, that she got to spend so much more quality time with her dad and learn about new stuff, and the satisfaction of earning your own wealth, I have to say this was really good story for the most part. If not for the fact it's an entry for the context that requires it to not be over 3k words, *exactly* 2988 words currently, this story could of ended up being easily 5k-12k depending if you wanted to include a section for Spoon, why Diamond was avoiding her all a sudden, build up more emotions for the ending showing Diamond make up excuses to leave Silver behind. Who would end up feeling worried over Diamond, only to find she's been hanging around the farm, putting more weight to her misunderstanding the situation why Diamond chose not to mock the CMC.

In closing, it's clear you did your utmost to try and make the best story you could for this event, and for that you have my applause.

I would of added an afterthought about maybe making it up to Silver later or imply she'd at least try to see her friend later, and it would of worked a lot better. Having almost hit the cap I can see why you couldn't go such a route.

Funny thing I noticed btw, but in one part you make it sound like Diamond had a doki doki moment at the mention of Apple Bloom's name. Not a fault, just wanted to let you know it's one of those shippy subtexts someone out there might get those mixed signals. ;3
I chuckled, despite knowing it wasn't meant that way.

Maybe after the contest you can make a sequel? I would love that, personally. Maybe expand the first chapter more to include those close calls Diamond almost had with the CMC, and those life lessons she was supposed to be soaking up with daddy. AJ moment was really nice, even if she sneaked in a lesson that showed how rotten Diamond is potentially seen to be on the inside by AJ.

I very much enjoyed this story. Have a like and a fav. :heart:

Good, but what I can say is, you sometimes use use emotional expiation when you can just show it. For example, instead of, sheer embarrassment, try to show the charcter acting embarrassed, instead of just telling us that she's embraced. Good luck at Everfree, you've got quite some compotietuon, including me.

4000610 well told review, do you think you could look over my two entries? I almost got them just right, but I still run into the occasional grammar and exposition problems here and there. I'd be happy to retrn the favor in time.
Oh, P.S., if its as long or longer than your post here, could you just message me your reviews, thank you.

4000674 That is good advice. The issue they seem to have ran into here though is something many in this contest seem to have been running into a lot: Maximizing their word efficiency. [NOTE: This story is just 12 words off from the cap]

So, it's essentially left to the reader to just visualize it, though, in many cases here I personally saw the emotions before the noun met adjective.

But, regardless, that is some good direct advice.


4000682 Thanks, I appreciate the compliment.

For grammar and such I'd seek a more proper editor for that. Someone like Comrade Sparkle has a great blog on some of the most common mistakes. Looking for Editors group or MLP can give you quick breakdowns.

I'm still a bit busy here and would like to catch up on a game I've been missing out on for a week now, Fire Emblem Path of Radiance, BUT, I can fit one one of your stories in once I come back. In the meantime, link away over PM and I'll give a once over. I should be back in 10 minutes or so.

4000682 I'm going to assume you found someone else since you haven't sent any links. I'm going to be taking my break soon but if you send the link I'll read it tonight if you haven't found someone else.

And best of luck to all you entering the contest!

normally i don't read DT fics, but this one was good.
i like the redemption.

4000610

“Hmph! At least I have my Cutie Mark!” she huffed, if only to herself. “And I didn’t have to work so hard for it either!”

That however, not so subtle.

Yeah, I guess I kind of drove it home. :twilightblush: My bad. It's been deleted. Thanks for the heads up.

Despite that great lesson AJ gave, however, it isn't really believable to suggest, within the context of this story, that Diamond was ever beating herself up over such a thought or had thunk it over more at all until that end moment. Now, had it played on her consistent misunderstandings and assumptions she has about ponies treat others based on wealth and status or had it been something about how she does have something worth contributing to others, then that callback could of had a much more powerful affect.

Well, it was supposed to contrast that DT realizes that she was unhappy with her new situation while her father was actually happier because of the fact that she was spoiled. Then AJ teaches her that if she can just shed away that spoiled part of herself and hang out with other "good" apples, she might learn how to be one (and in turn, be happy once more despite her situation). Unfortunately due to word limit, I could not really expand too much on the story. A lot of it had to be implied. Just as well, because of the word limit, I don't think I would have been able to fit your idea in there without sacrificing a lot of other development.

As far as the Silver Spoon part of your opinion goes, I originally planned to redeem her as well. Mudpony, a very generous benefactor who helped me out as well, also thought it be a good idea. I explained it was because I had kind of built up to it in the story. However, the word limit did not allow for me to add that part. Instead, I chose a kind of bittersweet ending with ending one friendship to start anew with others.

Funny thing I noticed btw, but in one part you make it sound like Diamond had a doki doki moment at the mention of Apple Bloom's name. Not a fault, just wanted to let you know it's one of those shippy subtexts someone out there might get those mixed signals. ;3

Yeah, I kind of do those double-entendres by accident a lot. Hey, at least it gives people a little laugh.

Having Diamond see and learn that the CMC aren't as judgmental as she and Silvy are, that she got to spend so much more quality time with her dad and learn about new stuff, and the satisfaction of earning your own wealth, I have to say this was really good story for the most part. If not for the fact it's an entry for the context that requires it to not be over 3k words, *exactly* 2988 words currently, this story could of ended up being easily 5k-12k depending if you wanted to include a section for Spoon, why Diamond was avoiding her all a sudden, build up more emotions for the ending showing Diamond make up excuses to leave Silver behind. Who would end up feeling worried over Diamond, only to find she's been hanging around the farm, putting more weight to her misunderstanding the situation why Diamond chose not to mock the CMC.

Maybe after the contest you can make a sequel? I would love that, personally. Maybe expand the first chapter more to include those close calls Diamond almost had with the CMC, and those life lessons she was supposed to be soaking up with daddy. AJ moment was really nice, even if she sneaked in a lesson that showed how rotten Diamond is potentially seen to be on the inside by AJ.

I just might take you up on that suggestion. I really enjoyed writing this story and still can see a way to expand on it.

I very much enjoyed this story. Have a like and a fav. :heart:

Thanks for the support and advice. I really do appreciate it.

4000674

Good, but what I can say is, you sometimes use use emotional expiation when you can just show it. For example, instead of, sheer embarrassment, try to show the charcter acting embarrassed, instead of just telling us that she's embraced. Good luck at Everfree, you've got quite some compotietuon, including me.

Unfortunately, not using emotional exposition would mean a higher word count because "showing" emotions can prove to be wordy. Which this story could not really afford to be because, as Telaros pointed out, I'm already pushing the word limit as is.

4013760

normally i don't read DT fics, but this one was good.
i like the redemption.

Thanks, glad so many people liked it. I always thought that DT has a lot of undeserved hatred. She just needed her own space to develop and get her on the right path. Silver Spoon as well. They're just little fillies. They just need to live life some more and learn the right lessons. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon will be good mares yet. In my opinion, at least.

FWIW, I'm not sure if Diamond will ever be redeemed in the show because she's too useful in story terms as a spiteful bully but it's nice to read fan-fictions on the subject.

4033731

I can agree with you on that. Without conflict, there can exist no story. If she were to be redeemed, the CMC's episodes would be pretty boring (though I only truly enjoyed maybe two or three of their episodes to begin with) and, quite frankly, a waste of time.

But we can always dream, right?

3993623 I agree. Who are your other two?

WOW!
LOVED IT!!! :ajsmug::ajsmug:

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