Tec, a brony, finds himself in Equestia and must now live in Equestia. He finds out more about himself in the process and learns that things may not always be exactly as they seem.
3993023 Sorry, I went through and edited it from he and him to I. I guess I missed some. Also, I will go into a friendship with the princesses later as my character has a problem trying to focus on a ton of people all at once and some things slip past his mind, he was ridiculously excited and he was a bit unsure of whether or not he was going to be incinerated. I will go and fix my mistakes, thank you for finding that and telling me.
You keep switching from third person to first person and back again, sometimes within the same sentence. You really need to go back and fix that, but all in all it's a good story. Though, commas go before "but," not after.
3993023 Sorry, I went through and edited it from he and him to I. I guess I missed some. Also, I will go into a friendship with the princesses later as my character has a problem trying to focus on a ton of people all at once and some things slip past his mind, he was ridiculously excited and he was a bit unsure of whether or not he was going to be incinerated. I will go and fix my mistakes, thank you for finding that and telling me.
it appears this story isn't doing very well.
3999809 'Tis fine. It has only been up for a little while.
You keep switching from third person to first person and back again, sometimes within the same sentence. You really need to go back and fix that, but all in all it's a good story. Though, commas go before "but," not after.