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  • T What do You do With a Drunken Unicorn?

    The girls get together to have a few drinks. Silliness ensues.
    1,971 words · 16,297 views  ·  868  ·  13
  • E Twilight Sparkle vs. Bridle-Zilla

    Twilight Sparkle: Wedding planner. This goes as well as one would expect.
    5,662 words · 3,045 views  ·  220  ·  4
  • T Vengeance and Fashion

    Twilight volunteers to manage Rarity's shop. Hijinks ensue. What else could happen?
    8,733 words · 1,448 views  ·  100  ·  1
  • T I Am Trying to Break Your Heart.

    Rarity decides to break up with Applejack, but were they even an item in the first place?
    11,127 words · 3,058 views  ·  222  ·  6
  • T Learning Curves

    Before the Grand Galloping Gala, Applejack makes a very...personal request of Rarity.
    1,313 words · 5,989 views  ·  216  ·  9 · sex
  • E Reciprocity

    It's a simple agreement: Rarity will take Applejack to a proper gallery opening, and in turn, Applejack gets to take Rarity to something called a 'hootenanny.' What could possibly go wrong?
    10,409 words · 1,438 views  ·  128  ·  6
  • E If Wishes Were Ponies

    Rainbow Dash finds an artifact of unimaginable magical power. Hijinks ensue.
    11,961 words · 463 views  ·  55  ·  2
  • E A Night Too Long

    Princess Luna recruits Fluttershy to save all of Equestria (whether she likes it or not).
    6,885 words · 350 views  ·  42  ·  1

Blog Posts22

  • 3w, 4h
    Hey look, a blog!

    Hey look, I'm still alive!

    Anyway, thought I'd play around with the blog function in order to mull over some random thought and stuff.

    I haven't been writing much as of late, pony or no. I think the biggest snag I have is the fact that I haven't figured out a proper ending for "A Night Too Long," yet- I've got a few disjointed scenes and fragments, but I'm not sure how to piece them together. And for whatever reason, I can't quite bring myself to work on something new until I finish what I've already started, which likely is why some of my stories have somewhat rushed endings. Hm.

    Also, I can't help but find the new library system on FiMfiction fascinating. The ranking system has given me a new thing to obsess over! And there's the fact that "What Do You Do With a Drunken Unicorn" is in the top .5% of the stories on this site is one of those nerdalicious things that I can only really brag about...on this site. Huh. Still, not too bad for something I cranked out on a dull evening a few years ago.

    Then there's the whole bookshelf-notification thing, which is fun to see where my stories get categorized. This has also brought it to my attention that there are other dudes out there who wrote (much longer) "Grimlock in Equestria," stories, but it looks like I did it first, and arguably better, due to my deep understanding of Grimlock's complex character. (Also, FIRRIB jokes).  I actually have some vague ideas for a sequel story, at some point, mostly to toss a few other transformers into the mix. Maybe ship Optimus Prime and Celestia or something.

    SPEAKING OF SHIPPING

    (This is the real reason I'm writing this post)

    So yeah. As I've mentioned before, I now find the whole shipping phenomenon to be a fairly amusing little game. I won't obsess over it (really), but it kind of adds a new element to one's reading of a text. And not too long ago, I came to the realization that my favorite 'ships are the ones that are PRETTY MUCH canon. Or at least they're canon enough if you have a few beers and squint while looking at the source material. I think the appeal comes from the fact that they're founded (some way or another) in the source material, so that makes them 'valid.' While on the other hand, as these ships remain 'unconfirmed,' it becomes kind of a game to see how the creators work in little nods here and there in various subtle (and not so subtle) ways. Maybe it's just a little more fun and transgressive when it's hinted at?

    Examples (and apologies if you have no idea who the following characters are):

    Rarity/Applejack: Seriously, you've read my stuff, so you know why I like the ship. And you've watched the show, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who reads too much into the little silly touches here and there. Of course, there's Lyra/Bon Bon, which is a noteable shout out gag from the animators, so there's precedent, or something.

    Princess Bubblegum/Marceline: This one's been out and out confirmed by the show's creators- it's just that they can't make it official-official, due to international markets and stuff. This said, this ship is kind of interesting, as the two of them are pretty much broken up before the show even starts, but there are still torches being carried. Rich stuff, really.

    Those Two Scientist Dudes from Pacific Rim: It probably doesn't help that the one of them was on Torchwood, where ERRYBERDY was bi.

    Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy: So, a year or two back, I picked up a 'Harley & Ivy' trade, based on Batman: The Animated Series canon. And holy shit, it was the dirtiest damn comic I've ever read. Kind of impressive, in that respect. I think the most telling sequence was a part where Harley wakes up from a terrible nightmare, only to have Ivy tell her to go back to sleep...only to realize, with the way the panels were framed, Bruce Timm was pretty much drawing them as if they were in the same bed without actually showing it. So, uh, a little more than subtext, there.

    Korra/Asami: I've jumped on the Korrasami bandwagon over the summer, mostly because, well, it's a ship that works. Mostly because the both of them are too good for Mako. This is another one of those 'ships where it seems the people behind the show are taunting us (especially in the latest episode!) but then again, that's just part of the fun of watching an Avatar show.

    Funnily enough, I don't do this with EVERY show I watch. I've seen 'shippy art for Steven Universe, for example, but none of the various combinations quite 'click' with me. On the other hand, I'm slowly working my way through Gundam Build Fighters (it's basically pokemon with Gundams. And it's all on Youtube! Go watch it), and that show seems to pair off the various characters pretty thoroughly, so there's really not any subtext to dig into. This said, Kirara/Fellini is probably my favorite pairing on that show, mostly because they're both adults and therefore can go get hammered in the lounge after the Gunpla battles are said and done.

    Anyway, just thought I'd kick around some random thoughts, because why not? If we're lucky, I may get back to writing something of substance soon. Or at least more pony fic. I understand some people like that sort of thing.

    1 comments · 64 views
  • 17w, 6d
    Transformers 4 is just as bad as the reviews say it is.

    So yeah. Saw the flick last night without having to pay moneys for it, so silver lining there, at least?

    You can check out my in-depth review at my other blog.

    Also, Rainbow Dash is a targetmaster now.

    7 comments · 91 views
  • 19w, 3d
    THE TERRIBLE SECRET OF TUMBLEWEED

    Friends. Bronies. Countrymen. Lend me your ears.

    ...okay, don't know where I'm going with that, but still.

    REGARDLESS. At the moment, I have the following: A few glasses of wine, and a TERRIBLE SECRET. I feel like sharing one of these.

    Not the wine, mind.

    Also, the secret is not from space.

    Regardless, if there are any amongst you who can be held to TRUE HONOR SEPPUKU SECRECY, post accordingly and perhaps I shall inform you of TERRIBLE BRONY SECRETS.

    Again, they are not from space.

    11 comments · 129 views
  • 41w, 1d
    I have (another) blog!

    I STILL FUNCTION.

    In any case, one of my new years resolutions was to start up a blog to compile my various nerdy thoughts and stuff. So, y'know, all the interesting book/movie/other stuff content you could want from me! Just, you know, no ponies. What happens on FiMFiction stays on FiMFiction, or...something.

    But yeah, check it: Dial H for Houston

    It's just started, but rest assured, there's more stuff to come! And, should I get ambitious, there'll be more PONY STORIES to come, as well. Stay tuned!

    6 comments · 107 views
  • 49w, 5d
    In this talk, drinking and sexual jokes, some are included.

    Hey folks!

    Just a random update. Namely, I've now become an INTERNATIONAL fanfic author. Ooooo.

    See, a bit ago, I got a random message asking if a team of South Korean bronies could translate my classic, "What Do You Do With A Drunken Unicorn?" into Korean. I find this particularly funny as I was actually teaching English in South Korea during the time I wrote it. I look fondly back on that time- not just for the international adventure and stuff, but also because it was in the early days of pony fandom, so it was neat to see new stuff developing. That, and since English-language entertainment could be hard to come by, I maaay have gotten a little fixated on the silly pony show. Ahem.

    So yeah, a Korean translation can be found here!

    However, during my time in the ROK, I didn't pick up much of the language- I'm an ugly american like that. I mean, I can order a beer (Korean beer is terrible, BTW), but that's about it.

    And that's where Google Translate comes in! So I hit the google translate button, and man, does it bring a whole new perspective on the story. Mostly 'cause it's kind of fun to see such familiar words twisted about. And apparently Rarity's name in Korean translates to 'Larry Tee,' on account of Korean not really having a hard 'R' sound. Fun stuff!

    1 comments · 146 views
  • ...
 104
 5,254

On the morning directly following Lyra & Bon Bon's wedding (See: 'Twilight Sparkle vs. Bridle-Zilla'), Twilight wakes to find an unexpected guest in her bed. Hijinks ensue.

First Published
23rd Mar 2012
Last Modified
18th Apr 2012
#1 · 136w, 20h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Ok....it's in the lines of totally insane but cracked up Twilight there. :rainbowlaugh: Damn it I need to read more of this.

#3 · 136w, 18h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :applejackconfused:

#4 · 136w, 17h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

haha very nicee:pinkiehappy:

#5 · 136w, 17h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Pinkie Pie...you are so random. Its why you'll always best pony to me.

#6 · 136w, 16h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Right now, this still looks more like a nomance than a romance! I think Twilight's about to set out for some "unf unf unf", though... :twilightblush:

#7 · 136w, 15h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Very enjoyable read. I look forward to reading more. :scootangel:

#8 · 136w, 14h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Oh Pinkie… get back in bed with her, you dorkus. You're not going to get a better offer, just on consideration of the political perks, to say nothing of the social ones.

#9 · 136w, 12h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

.....l.....have nothing to say. But u said it anyways

#11 · 136w, 11h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Ahh....There is no truer love. :rainbowlaugh:

Awesome. Tracking.

#12 · 136w, 11h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Ah, i love you, Twilight! *Hugs*

And you got Pinkie but good there! :pinkiehappy:

#13 · 136w, 8h ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Yes! A sequel to one of my all time favourites :D

#14 · 136w, 4h ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

*blink blink*  Bwhahahahahaha!!  Okay.  Neither me, nor Twilight saw that one coming.

#15 · 136w, 3h ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

omgosh I need the rest of this:rainbowlaugh:

#16 · 136w, 3h ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Dat cliffhanger:rainbowderp:

("Twilight was mulling over potential long-term projects when a multi-hued streak of speed incarnate slammed into."  missing a 'her' at the end perhaps?)

I also didn't expect the continuity from the "Friendship (With Benefits) is Magic" story:twilightsheepish:

Keep it going:pinkiehappy:

#17 · 136w, 2h ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUNNNNN!!! :rainbowderp:

#18 · 136w, 1h ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

I believe the proper phrasing here is Lolwut.:twilightoops:

#19 · 136w, 29m ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Oh RD and your jokes. You so silly. :derpytongue2:

Great chapter.

#21 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Dashie: :rainbowwild:

Twilight: :twilightoops:

#22 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

:twilightoops:

So some RariJack and a bit of TwiDash from left field?

....

Carry on.:twilightsmile:

#23 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Didn't see that coming.

#24 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

What a twist

#25 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Okay, that last line came out of nowhere and got me. Excellent job sir. :moustache:  So, RariJack and TwiDash? Yes, yes, please proceed. :twilightsmile:

#26 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

... AND?! :rainbowderp:

#27 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Mmm... makes sense to me. Rainbow Dash did catch the bouquet and logically is the next to get married.

#29 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

ok have to say that sent me for a loop...... maybe two :twilightsmile:

#30 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

I can honestly say I did not see that one coming. Will be eagerly awaiting next chapter. Also, this Rarity and Applejack shipping better develop into something, that would make me a very happy reader. It nearly broke my heart when Rarity mentioned big mac instead :fluttercry:

#31 · 135w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

ApplejackXRarity and a marriage proposal? This is getting good!

#32 · 135w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Best chapter ending EVER.

I continue to love the dialogue you write for Rarity (for all of the characters, really, but especially for Rarity). The entire scene where Rarity and Applejack agree to a date via arguing was funny as all get-out.

#33 · 135w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Where's this going? a green card wedding... hey alright.

#34 · 135w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

*snerk*  Oh dear.

#35 · 135w, 1d ago · 2 · · Chapter 3 ·

I envision Dash as being the wingmare version of Barney Stinson. Awesome in every way, with the most outrageous ideas that never work, but somehow do...... for her. Anypony else either won't stoop so low or just can't pull off the sheer awesomeness/craziness required.

As a side note, am I the only one more saddened than comedically entertained by this fic? Don't get me wrong, this story's great, but maybe it's because Twilight's far and away and forever my favorite pony, but seeing her trying to at least have the option of finding somepony some day but instead getting a "you're not my type" and/or laughter from all of her best friends at the mere prospect of it, well, it just makes me feel for her, man. "Twilight alone and loveless" stories always brings me down. I hope Twi gets a happy ending.

#36 · 135w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

This won't end well at all... but it'll sure to be hilarious as hell:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::trollestia:

#37 · 135w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

huh. Is The Doctor single in this? Otherwise I'm guessing TG&PT!

#38 · 135w, 23h ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

Such.great.dialog

#39 · 135w, 19h ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

Y'know, I had this thought in the first chapter, but after this ...

"Oh." Twilight felt a fresh twinge of uneasiness in her belly. "So you and Pinkie Pie are..."

... I'm gonna go out on a limb and make a probably-incorrect prediction, but what the heck, why not: This story's going TwiPie. Which, if true, I am so totally okay with.

I agree with HalcyonAndroid that the dialogue is great--I think that's the best thing about the story, the crackling dialogue. I also really liked how surprised I was at Rainbow Dash's reason for wanting to get married because, in context, it makes perfect sense. That was a really nice touch.

>>384220

Barney Stinson! YES. Yes, that's perfect. Tumbleweed's Dash is totally Barney Stinson, and I love that/love her.

And it's not just you. I find the story more comic than sad, at least right now, but I am totally feeling for Twilight at the same time. I mean, OUCH, right? I've been assuming that Twilight will get some love by story's end, so maybe that's why I'm still laughing. At least, I hope Twilight does, 'cause seriously, poor Twi. (If she doesn't, then I don't think I could go back and laugh at all of this. I think I'd just cringe and feel really bad for Twi.)

#40 · 135w, 19h ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

Oh yeah, that's Rainbow Dash, all right. :rainbowderp:

#41 · 135w, 17h ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

if i was twilight, in the end i would of just teleported away or done some freaky magic.

#42 · 135w, 13h ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

>>385086

It was the prospect of Twipie that got me into the story in the first place, and I too am still hoping it turns out that way. I also looooove Twihooves, so if it goes that direction I won't be too disappointed.

Honestly, if Rainbow's Barney, then Twi's definitely Ted. Replace all instances of Twilight's and Dash's names with Barney and Ted and you have a typical How I Met Your Mother episode.

#43 · 135w, 11h ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

It's a slight bit more sad for me, too. As for Whooves, meh. Just never liked the concept of him. Seems like all the fics he's in he takes over, and I have enough rage over the Tenth Doc already. :pinkiecrazy:

#44 · 135w, 8h ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

I really hope this ends up being a twiwhooves story that doesn't involve the TARDIS or something of the sort, but we still get the awesome Doctor we all know and love.

#45 · 134w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

This will not end well.

#46 · 134w, 3d ago · 1 · · Chapter 3 ·

Oh sweet Celestia, Rainbow Dash had me rolling on the floor about every couple paragraphs! First thinking the bouquet inflicts a curse of marriage, then "holding up the gettin' hitched line", and finally, "Oh, sorry. You're afraid you're too much of a dork to get a girlfriend?"

P.S. I need the phone number for the flower sisters' shop, and the address for Twilight's library... :heart:

#47 · 134w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I liked it, but if I were you, I'd rate it Teen.

But that's just my opinion.

#48 · 134w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

.......whhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Lol

#49 · 134w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

Rainbow dash....pimp

#50 · 134w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

All this fic needs is some Twilestia!!!!

Another well done piece that had me laughing repeatedly.

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