Ok....it's in the lines of totally insane but cracked up Twilight there. Damn it I need to read more of this.

WIN!

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

haha very nicee

Pinkie Pie...you are so random. Its why you'll always best pony to me.

Right now, this still looks more like a nomance than a romance! I think Twilight's about to set out for some "unf unf unf", though...

Very enjoyable read. I look forward to reading more.

Oh Pinkie… get back in bed with her, you dorkus. You're not going to get a better offer, just on consideration of the political perks, to say nothing of the social ones.

.....l.....have nothing to say. But u said it anyways

I was amused.

Ahh....There is no truer love.

Awesome. Tracking.

Ah, i love you, Twilight! *Hugs*

And you got Pinkie but good there!

Yes! A sequel to one of my all time favourites :D

*blink blink*  Bwhahahahahaha!!  Okay.  Neither me, nor Twilight saw that one coming.

omgosh I need the rest of this

Dat cliffhanger

("Twilight was mulling over potential long-term projects when a multi-hued streak of speed incarnate slammed into."  missing a 'her' at the end perhaps?)

I also didn't expect the continuity from the "Friendship (With Benefits) is Magic" story

Keep it going

DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!

I believe the proper phrasing here is Lolwut.

Oh RD and your jokes. You so silly.

Great chapter.

Dashie:

Twilight:

So some RariJack and a bit of TwiDash from left field?

....

Carry on.

Didn't see that coming.

What a twist

Okay, that last line came out of nowhere and got me. Excellent job sir.   So, RariJack and TwiDash? Yes, yes, please proceed.

... AND?!

Mmm... makes sense to me. Rainbow Dash did catch the bouquet and logically is the next to get married.

Image: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/200/296/Waht%20a%20twist.jpg

you deserve this two-fold

ok have to say that sent me for a loop...... maybe two

I can honestly say I did not see that one coming. Will be eagerly awaiting next chapter. Also, this Rarity and Applejack shipping better develop into something, that would make me a very happy reader. It nearly broke my heart when Rarity mentioned big mac instead

ApplejackXRarity and a marriage proposal? This is getting good!

Best chapter ending EVER.

I continue to love the dialogue you write for Rarity (for all of the characters, really, but especially for Rarity). The entire scene where Rarity and Applejack agree to a date via arguing was funny as all get-out.

Where's this going? a green card wedding... hey alright.

*snerk*  Oh dear.

I envision Dash as being the wingmare version of Barney Stinson. Awesome in every way, with the most outrageous ideas that never work, but somehow do...... for her. Anypony else either won't stoop so low or just can't pull off the sheer awesomeness/craziness required.

As a side note, am I the only one more saddened than comedically entertained by this fic? Don't get me wrong, this story's great, but maybe it's because Twilight's far and away and forever my favorite pony, but seeing her trying to at least have the option of finding somepony some day but instead getting a "you're not my type" and/or laughter from all of her best friends at the mere prospect of it, well, it just makes me feel for her, man. "Twilight alone and loveless" stories always brings me down. I hope Twi gets a happy ending.

This won't end well at all... but it'll sure to be hilarious as hell

huh. Is The Doctor single in this? Otherwise I'm guessing TG&PT!

Such.great.dialog

Y'know, I had this thought in the first chapter, but after this ...

"Oh." Twilight felt a fresh twinge of uneasiness in her belly. "So you and Pinkie Pie are..."

... I'm gonna go out on a limb and make a probably-incorrect prediction, but what the heck, why not: This story's going TwiPie. Which, if true, I am so totally okay with.

I agree with HalcyonAndroid that the dialogue is great--I think that's the best thing about the story, the crackling dialogue. I also really liked how surprised I was at Rainbow Dash's reason for wanting to get married because, in context, it makes perfect sense. That was a really nice touch.

>>384220384220

Barney Stinson! YES. Yes, that's perfect. Tumbleweed's Dash is totally Barney Stinson, and I love that/love her.

And it's not just you. I find the story more comic than sad, at least right now, but I am totally feeling for Twilight at the same time. I mean, OUCH, right? I've been assuming that Twilight will get some love by story's end, so maybe that's why I'm still laughing. At least, I hope Twilight does, 'cause seriously, poor Twi. (If she doesn't, then I don't think I could go back and laugh at all of this. I think I'd just cringe and feel really bad for Twi.)

Oh yeah, that's Rainbow Dash, all right.

if i was twilight, in the end i would of just teleported away or done some freaky magic.

>>385086385086

It was the prospect of Twipie that got me into the story in the first place, and I too am still hoping it turns out that way. I also looooove Twihooves, so if it goes that direction I won't be too disappointed.

Honestly, if Rainbow's Barney, then Twi's definitely Ted. Replace all instances of Twilight's and Dash's names with Barney and Ted and you have a typical How I Met Your Mother episode.

It's a slight bit more sad for me, too. As for Whooves, meh. Just never liked the concept of him. Seems like all the fics he's in he takes over, and I have enough rage over the Tenth Doc already.

I really hope this ends up being a twiwhooves story that doesn't involve the TARDIS or something of the sort, but we still get the awesome Doctor we all know and love.

This will not end well.

Oh sweet Celestia, Rainbow Dash had me rolling on the floor about every couple paragraphs! First thinking the bouquet inflicts a curse of marriage, then "holding up the gettin' hitched line", and finally, "Oh, sorry. You're afraid you're too much of a dork to get a girlfriend?"

P.S. I need the phone number for the flower sisters' shop, and the address for Twilight's library...

I liked it, but if I were you, I'd rate it Teen.

But that's just my opinion.

.......whhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Lol

Rainbow dash....pimp

All this fic needs is some Twilestia!!!!

Another well done piece that had me laughing repeatedly.

This is gonna be Twinkie, isn't it? Isn't it?

Is Bad Apple gonna have to un-favorite a fic?

[Of course! I've been reading different cheap romance novels!/i]

Rarity, never change!

>>384220384220

Yeah.Though part of it is what's known as cringe comedy; things are funny (?) because they are awkward and embarassing.

Benchpress is quite the sophisticated stallion. Frankly, he gives Big Mac a run for his money! Hmm, quite, indeed.

Loved the Doctor Who references, great Doctor, plus 11 doesn't appear nearly often enough in MLP fiction. It's always 10. Frankly, he's my least favorite of the New Age Doctors, but that's just me. Also, I said this before, but i must reiterate: Dash=Barney Stinson. This is exactly the type of harebrained scheme he'd cook up and totally the things he'd say. And that last part.... TWIPIE TWIPIE TWIPIE.

Ultimately, this was the funniest chapter yet, and I'm siting on the edge of my seat for the next one!

"Oh Twilight. I'm here to be that rebound Dashie mentioned! Now are you good bottom or top?"

This was.... interesting to say the least. In fact interesting is probably an understatement. And poor Twilight. Thanks to RD she just became 20% more embarrassed and depressed. But Rebound Pinkie will make her feel all better .

The next chapter need to be tomarrow okay. I will not stand for this cliffhanger.

Also FIRST

Edit: Never mind

Also guys how do you post picture on the comments?

Twilight... yeah. You really don't like her, do you.

Awwww, poor Twilight! That wasn't a good day for her...

Poor Twi, robot pony might have been a fairly good match for her if not for his asparagus issues.

Isn't this where we came in?

I am so excited for the next chapter it's not even fair.

This chapter was hilarious! Good stuff overall.

I was pulled out of it by the River Song bit, I hate River Song. Other than that, great chapter.

Now we're back to square one, and I couldn't be happier

Hahahaha, I love this story!

Can't wait to see the next part. Also, Benchpress is epic amazing.

Honestly? I thought Benchpress was going to say he was gay. Also, surprise Rarijack But the Twinkie is strong in this one.

Oh jeez I had a laughing fit when Rainbow did her speech about "breaking up" with Twilight.

Seriously though the characterization in these seems spot on. I couldn't hold back from reading the lines in their voices. I even did it aloud for a minute...

And oh Pinkie.

Oh, Rainbow Dash. So well-meaning. So many awful plans. So much embarrassment. I love how self-satisfied she is with her little restaurant scheme.

I was doing much sympathetic cringing on Twilight's behalf. Oh, Twilight, you really are having the worst day ever, aren't you? I hope she gets some kind of happy ending here. And perhaps revenge on Dash.

I loved the characterization given to Benchpress. That was unexpected and therefore delightful. I also liked the bit of continuity with the asparagus-bereft pony. Nice touch.

The best part, though, was the chapter ending. Somehow even more hilarious the second time around and, like everyone else, I can't wait to read what happens next.

Was that 11 or a foppish dandy? Cause 11 is basically T. Sparx.

Nooo don't tell me it's over I'm enjoying this way too much for it to end

this was a nice story

Still has incomplete tag? Story looks like it is wrapping up. Ah'm so confused.   But please, don't be the end. That would be the. Worst. Possible. THING!

There is no better metaphor for the problem of humanity's needs than pity sex.  It's short term comfort seeking at the expense without regard to possible long term consequences.

Actually, this is how I predicted this chapter would go. Pinkie hears that Twilight was having issues with her lack of a love life and Pinkie goes to cheer her up. I'm not disappointed, though.

MOAR PLZ

...Sooo... does this mean there's not going to be any Twipie?

...Drat... double drat.

Oh well, can't wait to see what Twi ship is setting sail.

So, there's going to be more? So it could still be salvaged? I like that.

"About to be brilliant"

"Loom of Fate"

Even if it wasn't intentional, you just referenced, or at least brought to my mind, two of my favorite things outside of ponies- Dr. Who and Exalted. >w<  Add to that the fact that adorkable Twi craving love, hugs, and kisses is beyond cute. You, sir, win 1000 internets.

I love how non-badly that spell went, it was actually kind of touching.

"I'm okay!" she said, laughing.

No, Pinkie. You're not okay!

And that... makes sense, why the others would love her. Keep up the great work, Tumbleweed!

Aww, this was sweet. Way to go, Pinkie Pie. I'm impressed that you were able to make this chapter a bit serious and a lot heartwarming without losing any of the comedy. Nicely done!

She rolled to the edge of the bed, adopting her best approximation of a pin-up pose. This lasted for maybe three seconds before Pinkie Pie lost her balance and toppled to the floor. "I'm okay!" she said, laughing.

There is absolutely no reason for anyone, anywhere, to not be in love with Pinkie. I mean, really.

Uh, okay?" Pinkie offered, "but, um, you've got that crazy look in your eye that you get whenever you're going to do something that you have to tell Princess Celestia about in a letter afterward."

"I do not have that crazy look in my eye that I get whenever I'm going to do something that I have to tell Princess Celestia about in a letter afterward! I have that crazy look in my eye that I get when I'm about to be absolutely brilliant and then I will tell Princess Celestia about it in a letter afterward!"

I'm sorry, but I do not believe Twilight and Pinkie when they say they're not each other's types, because they are pretty much perfect right here. Seriously, though, they've got such a great comedy duo dynamic throughout this whole chapter.

Somepony in a wizard hat.

Buuuuuuuuuurn. Hee.

"And even if most ponies are pretty dumb, there's still a lot of ponies out there that somehow or another realize all the hard work you've put into making sure all of us don't die! When you think about it, it's simple! Everypony loves Twilight Sparkle!"

D'awwww! Pinkie started this whole mess, but at least now she's the one to fix it. It's full-circle. I like it. Self-fixing disasters.

The line with the fishnets and the ones where Pinkie fails at posing made me lol. ^^

But more importantly, d'aww. This chapter had all of the best stuff in it. Especially the unexpected moment where Pinkie deadpanned - there should be more of that!

That was a great story.

Now I totally want to see the results of the dating duel, and if Rarity was successful in charming Applejack or not.

Thats the expressions in a nutshell. Also, the metaphor you were looking for was 'it is easier to attract flies with honey than vinegar.'

Wait, that actually was the ending? Lame. Here are my problems with this ending:

1. The story as a whole sounds like it's saying that Twilight isn't desirable as anything more than a good friend, with her being friend zoned by everyone (the spell didn't help). Also, "adorkable" is an incredibly back-handed compliment. If your girlfriend asked you to list all the things you like about her, would you put "adorkable" on that list? Assuming you have any understanding of women at all, the answer is going to be "no."

2. It promotes the "girl looks pretty and lets the guys come to her" social norm, which sucks for both men and women.

3. The ending was unsatisfying. If you asked somebody why you can't find a date and they answered by telling you not to worry and that you're still a good friend, would you be satisfied? I'm not saying you should've shipped Twilight at the end, but I do think a story like this deserves an ending that answers her original questions.

So yeah, I hope you plan on expanding Twilight's very relatable problem in another story, because you have the potential to make it awesome.

"Because you're getting that 'ooooo I am thinking really hard' look on your face, and I think pancakes are a really funny thing to get all philosophical over, but what do I know?

I just read Pinkie Watches Paint Dry today. The hindsight made this absolutely hysterical.

I'm not even exaggerating when I say this: You write Pinkie Pie better than Amy Keating Rogers. *slow clap*

*resumes laughing uncontrollably*

You are my new favorite writer. I don't even know if I should qualify that with "of pony fanfiction."

OK, I almost flipped when Benchpress (aka Roid Rage aka Snowflake ) had his eloquent monologue.

Also, nice touch with the nerdy guy from Hurricane Fluttershy.

Very cute. nicely done stuff n_n

Regardless of whatever else comes along, this will always be one of my go-to stories for when I need a good laugh. It's easy to read, easy to remember, and just good old-fashioned fun without delving too far into shipping, filthy humor, or fluff. The chapters are long enough without endlessly dragging on, and the pace is just right. And finally, it's easy to relate to; after all, who hasn't had those moments of self-doubt and self-pity after striking out in the wonderful world of dating? And ultimately, sometimes we need to be reminded of how blessed we really are, even if we don't have a very special somepony.

TL;DR: I like this story. A lot.

if he doesn't see me for a while, he'll forget who I am!

Best Rarijack

Your characterizations are spot on. Well done! *applause*

I'm half surprised luna didn't show up

Your story made me laugh a lot. So has thanks here is a music video may it return the favor.

You know, Benchpress's surprising erudition makes me think Rainbow Dash might not have been entirely unfounded in picking him as a possible match for Twilight Sparkle, even if things fell through.  Also, that scene was great.

You know, I saw a comic the other day, with Rarity in it. The author comments said the idea originated from when his friend asked him, if he were required to have sex with one of the Mane Six, which would he choose? And though the comic clearly did not come directly out of the question, nevertheless I thought, "Rarity? Really? Obviously Pinkie is the correct answer." And then I remembered to specify "assuming it was just once, and not a long-term relationship."

An excellent little fic...  I loved that "d'aww" ending, very show-appropriate

Also, I don't know which Doctor your Doctor is supposed to be (I know Doctor Whooves is Tennant-inspired) but I could not help reading him in Eccleston's voice.