Two Roomies and their Pest

by Vrilix

Terrific Tea

Silver’s point of view

“Silver, it’s not very nice to attack your very special somepony!” Am’ screamed in my ear.

As the guards carried away the unconscious body of B’, I turned my head to look at Am’. “What did you expect me to do? Watch him take my meat from me? Pfft, fat chance.”

“But you didn’t have to attack him like that! Slamming his head to the floor seven times should be enough!” Am’ squealed in my ear. I really hate that sound.

“If you really think it’s wrong,” I began, “then why’d you tell the guards he fell down the stairs?”

Am’ tensed up, drawing back. “Well I, uh, couldn’t let you get caught.”

As I saw her lie like that, I couldn’t stop myself from arching an eyebrow at her. “You honestly thought I wouldn’t see through that?”

Am’ realized that I wouldn’t believe her lies, she grabbed my paw and started dragging me back towards the academy. “I’ll tell you all of my reasons for this, just not here, somepony might hear us!”

Hearing that word made me cringe. “Someone!”

***

As we entered her dorm room it was almost impossible to stop myself from vomiting, as the stench from her furniture was unbearable.

“Silver, what’s wrong?” Am’ asked me.

Hearing her utter those words annoyed me even more than the stench. “How could you ask me such a stupid question? What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong! The very presence of your precious perfume defiles this place, Amethyst!”

“Are you talking about the rose essence I dripped everywhere?” Am’ said, walking towards the cupboard in the heart of that horrible stench.

Covering my nose with a paw I closed the door behind me. “It smells like you dripped it on my nose.”

As she opened a drawer in the cupboard the stench grew tenfold. “Oh well, my roommate complained about it as well; but she left on some family business, so I suppose it’s of no concern now.”

At this point the stench - no, the pain had invaded my entire frame, controlling every muscle in my body, save for my mouth and vocal cords. This caused me to curl up in a ball on the floor like some pup who just saw the alpha male rutting his mother.

“Am’,” I began, “close the drawer! I can’t breathe!”

Am’ closed the drawer and turned around to face me. “Geez, I figured you didn’t like flowers, but could you at least show some manners!”

With the drawer closed the stench had lessened in intensity, but my body still wouldn’t move. Seeing this, Am’ opened a window for me.

“Air!” I cried out as I could feel the pain drift from my body.

As I pulled myself up into a standing position I was greeted by the sight of Am’ smiling at my misfortune. “What? The sense of smell on a wolf is far greater than that of any pony; furthermore, I’m allergic.”

“I know, the symptoms of your condition include paralysis and a complete sense of dread. From the looks of it you didn’t experience the latter,” Am’ answered, her smile dying out.

Hearing that response, I walked up to her, establishing eye contact. “If you knew about my condition, then why would you drip that rose essence all over the room, open the drawer that held the container of the essence, and wait to open a window?!”

Hearing my question, she took a step closer, keeping her eyes locked with mine. “I need you to understand. I don’t see you or brown as a potential couple, I’m only doing this because it’s expected of me.”

Taken back by the sudden change of personality, I turned my head to the side, observing her carefully. “If that’s true, then why would you go through all of that trouble earlier? And what’s up with this whole ‘expected’ thing? You’re acting like a completely different person, as if you’re putting on a mask.”

“No, not putting on a mask, it’s more of a-”

“I’m not putting on a mask,” she began, “I’m taking it off.”

“Could you elaborate a bit on that last part?” I asked her, genuinely curious.

Am’ closed her eyes and held a cheerful expression as she tilted her head to the side. “I’d love to! But first we should sit down, this story’s going to take up some time.”

“Sit down? But the regular dorm rooms wouldn’t have any room for us sitting besides the be-” I began, until I noticed just how big her dorm room was.

It had roughly the same shape as the room I shared with B’, just eight times larger, complete with a balcony as well as a small garden. How I hadn’t noticed the size of this room earlier was beyond me, but how she managed to live here wasn’t very hard to understand.

She had money, and a lot of it. Suddenly everything made sense: How she casually talked about dinner appointments set at the Castle Gardens, the way she set up the “date”, as well as her lavish clothing. It also revealed something else about her.

She had all these things that normal ponies would dream of, yet the thing she craved was something far different. Her earlier actions were proof of this, but the furniture in front of me had an equal value when it came to showing me how her mind worked.

They were all incredibly expensive, yet they were all ruined. She was in possession of the latest hits within design and fashion, yet she treated it as filth. She utterly despised her way of life, and she tried to escape it by discarding all of these things. But she couldn’t escape, the life would always be there, waiting for her.

“I never expected Am’s apartment to look like this. She always seemed like the cheerful pony in the city, constantly trying the bring happiness everywhere she goes. But in reality, she seeks it out.”

“It’s not polite to stare,” Am’ said, wiggling her flank in the middle of my vision.

I quickly looked away, blushing furiously. “I wasn’t staring, I just zoned out! I’d never seek a partner in a pony!”

Turning around she faced me in a more appropriate fashion. “Are you sure about that? Your face is telling me something different; and even if what you’re saying is true, wouldn’t that be just a little close minded? Teehee.”

“Wait, Am’ listen,” I began, “I’m not trying to be racist or close minded in any way, I just don’t find ponies attractive in the same way you would. Even if I did, any sexual intercourse would be very dangerous for you, as the arousal would block off any logic, effectively turning me into a beast. And seeing as how I’m fully capable of eating your kind, that would be very dangerous. Furthermore, why would you even end such a statement with that word? It’s too random, even for you.”

Putting on a dumbfounded expression similar to the one from earlier, she replied in a strange accent. “Random? I have no idea what you’re talking about Silver-kun. I was just politely asking if my guest wanted some tea!”

“So teehee wasn’t a lighthearted reply, it was a question?”

Hoping to get away from the more personal subjects I walked towards her, answering her question. “Yes, I’d love some. What tea are you brewing up?”

Hearing my reply, she answered my question, giggling. “Oh it’s nothing. Just a foreign type used to strengthen the feelings between lovers. I figured it’d be appropriate considering the subjects you brought up.”

Hearing her motives, I deduced that I had to emphasize the message I was getting across by walking up to her. “The subjects I brought up? I told you, I zoned out! Furthermore, I completely explained my reasons and motives to you, but you were the one who insisted on addressing me like that! Just why did you think I came here? To woo random ponies when their boyfriends aren’t around? Have you no pri-”

Am’ put a hoof to my mouth, interrupting my speech. “I’m just messing with you Silver. If I really wanted to seduce you I would’ve used another tea entirely.”

“...what?”

This wasn’t something I had expected to happen when I first moved to Equestria. I wanted to finish my education in a place where I might have a chance to fit in, so Canterlot seemed like the obvious choice, as capitals usually hold the highest number of immigrants.

I expected the treatment I would receive to be a mix of kindness and fear, as the ponies are known for valuing friendship and failing to comprehend carnivorous creatures such as myself. But I didn’t expect to have a friend reveal herself to a high-society (child?) that hated her heritage.

That being said, having said friend flirt and question my sexual attraction seemed even further of a stretch. That being said, looking back on how I felt when I realized what I’d been staring at during the ‘zone out’, the last part didn’t seem like such a ba-

“You’re hopeless,” Am’ said, her face inches from mine.

Seeing her so close I blushed again, albeit with a stronger fury. “I don’t think you’re being fair here, Amethyst. You reveal yourself as someone different than who you led us on to believe, you start flirting with me, and go on to question my sexual orientation.”

Hearing my honest answer, Am’ smiled, now blushing as well. “Well to be honest, I’m not actually trying to woo you, this is just me trying to act like a normal pony without any limits or parameters. Once the tea is finished, I’ll explain all of it. For now, why don’t we sit down at the table over there?” When she finished talking she started to walk toward the table that held a tea kettle self-heating using magic. As she passed me on the way over there, she made sure to hit me across the side of my face with her tail.

“If she keeps teasing me like this I can’t be held accountable for my actions.”

“Hey Am’,” I began, “stop treating me like you would a muscular stallion while you’re in heat. I’m pretty sure I already told you what would happen if you got me aroused.”

Sitting down at the table, she started to pour tea into two cups that she had put out earlier. “Silver, I really hate repeating myself. I’m not trying to court you or anything, so just ignore all of this. My family’s position has made it impossible for me to live a normal life, so having a very special somepony has been impossible throughout all of my life. I’ll gladly take any chance I can get to experience just a fragment of that lifestyle, even if the risks include the possibility of getting raped by a member of a foreign species.”

“I understand, but you still need to elaborate on this,” I said, sitting down at the opposite end of the table.

“Of course, but first we have to drink!” she exclaimed, holding up her cup of tea.

“Sure, why not? I can’t say I’m used to drinking leaf-flavored water, but seeing your enthusiasm has convinced me to try it out,” I said, reaching out for the cup.

Hearing me say this, Am’ put down the tea cup, giggling. “What, you thought I used water for the tea?”

I was about to ask her what she meant by that statement, but I quickly discovered what she meant by that when I felt the liquid on my tongue. I had discovered that Am’s private behavior was very different from what she led people on to believe, but I never thought that she would be the kind of pony who brew tea with Moonshine.

Realizing that this was my kind of tea, I quickly drank the rest of it. “Delicious. You know, I never thought that I would find such a familiar custom around these parts. I mean, normal ponies usually hate canisbergian tea.”

“I’m not a normal pony,” Am’ replied, smiling.

As I reached out for the kettle I realized just how luxurious it was. I had already accepted the fact that she came from a family of money, but for her to have a tea kettle made up from silver made me realize just how much money that family had.

I remember that back in Canisberg, tea kettles held remarkable value to its citizens; Not so much for their exterior appearance, but for the material lining its interior.

Different materials would bring forth different flavors in the tea, so depending on the type of tea one preferred, one would have a certain material lining the kettle interior.

However, if one were to buy or create a kettle with the same material lining the inside and outside, it would symbolize either wealth or stupidity. A kettle made entirely from one material could heat the tea much more efficiently than one made with two materials. However, there’s a downside to this type of kettle.

If this kettle gets dented - in any way - the redeeming qualities of having a one-material kettle lowers dramatically with each use. The dent can be fixed by a blacksmith of course, but the original flavor would never be fully restored.

Most wolves prefer the harsh taste that a metal would bring forth, in particular the flavor that was present when the material used was silver. Because of this, a kettle made of silver was seen as the most valuable kettle available.

So for Am’s kettle to be a silver kettle decorated with golden dragons surprised me greatly. Especially since a kettle like that would be worth more than the entirety of the acade-

“You’re zoning out again, Silver,” Am’ said bringing me back to the dorm room.

Am’ giggled, pouring me another cup of tea. “You ought to drink some more, it might help out on your little attention problem.”

Emptying another cup of tea, I shook my head, hoping to clear my thoughts. “Forget about it, I just had a flashback from my time in Canisberg. Some tea ought to clear up my thoughts.”

Rising up from the table, Am’ walked over towards a cupboard. “Well, if that’s true, then the content of that kettle isn’t going to be enough. We better bring out the big stuff.”

Pouring myself another cup, I watched Am’ carefully, curious as to what she might bring out. “I thought you were going to explain all of this luxury, not invite me to a drinking game.”

Opening a drawer, she pulled out two bottles of Moonshine. “Why not combine the two? That way the story is going to be slightly more interesting, and you might share some lore as well!”

Emptying my cup of tea, I replied, “You shouldn’t be so sure about that last part!”

***

“Amethyst, it’s as I’ve always said: tea is good for the mind! The tea cleared up my thoughts completely! They even messed them up as well!” I exclaimed, embracing Am’.

I don’t remember how we moved from the table to the couch, but by this point we just sat there, drinking in each others’ embrace. We were planning on sharing our stories with each other … eventually, but right now enjoying our beloved tea was all that mattered to us.

No wait, that’s not true. I think we had drunk all of the tea by this point, so now we were just drinking pure moonshine, fresh from the bottle. If we didn’t pass the same bottle between us, mixing up the alcohol with our saliva, our livers might’ve taken far more damage.

...But then again, with Am’s money, getting our livers fixed shouldn’t be a problem.

“You know Silver, I never thought you’d be such a good kisser!” Am’ said as she leaned in close, reaching out for the bottle I held in my right paw.

Letting her take the bottle, I looked around frantically, searching for the other bottle. “What’re you talking about? We haven’t even kissed yet.”

“Ah, I knew it!” she began, “you said ‘yet’. This implies that you planned on kissing me sooner or later!”

I stopped my search for the bottle, and turned my head around to see her chug the rest of the bottle. “I don’t plan on kissing you, it’s just that whenever I drink I always wake up the next day with someone telling me that I kissed them.” As I finished talking I leaned in close, hoping to see if she somehow had another bottle lying around.

Throwing away the bottle, she looked up at me, smiling. “Why don’t we make sure tonight’s not an exception?”

Hearing the bottle break into thousands of pieces against the wall alerted me to the fact that we were out of booze. “We need more Moonshine. Now!”

As if to emphasize my point I stood up from the couch as I said the word “now.” In my drunken state of mind I didn’t even realize that Am’ was leaning against me when I stood up, so when I saw her lying on the ground two metres away, I was completely clueless.

“Amethyst, what’re you doing? You shouldn’t be sleeping at a time like this!” I exclaimed, walking over to her.

She clumsily tried getting up on her hooves, failing miserable. “I’m not falling asleep, I’m wide awake! You pushed me away, it’s your fault that I’m lying here!”

Hearing her say that it was my fault that she was lying there, I mistakenly thought that she wanted to lie somewhere else. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll carry you to the bed!”

As I said the word “bed” I slipped my head in under her stomach and arched my back, lifting her into a balanced position right behind my neck on my back.

No longer having any contact with the floor, Am’ flapped her wings, trying to get off of me. “Let go of me, Silver! I don’t want to bed you!”

Thinking she asked me to bring her over to the bed, I doubled my pace, hoping to please my friend in her time of need. “I already told you, Amethyst, you shouldn’t worry about it. I’ll keep you far away from the cold floor, helping you with your every need!”

How I can remember any of this, is a mystery. All I can say is that I remember what I said, and what I felt her do on my back. Everything else is something that I’ve been able to figure out from the scraps of information that my mind has left me with.

By now, Am’ was basking her wings at a steady pace, hitting my neck and back at a rate of around three hits per second. “Let me go! Stop holding me down!”

Stopping at the bed, I brought a paw up towards her neck and grabbed her tight. “We’ve arrived Amethyst! You don’t need to fear the dreadful floor any longer!” As I finished my sentence, I brought my entire leg around in a way that would’ve dislocated the joint of any normal wolf, effectively bringing Am’ around as well. As she reached the desired point on the curve, I let go, throwing her against the bed.

As Am’ collided with the bed the force sent both pillows and blankets flying. Trying my best to help, I decided that the best way to get the pillows on the other side of the bed was to walk up on the bed and then just jump down on the floor. Normally, this would’ve been the best idea, but walking past an angry pegasus wasn’t the best idea.

I did it anyway.

Seeing me walk up next to her on the bed caused Am’ to draw back, falling down on her stomach in the process. “Get away from me! You’re not getting laid tonight wolf!”

As I picked up the pillows and blankets, my immediate thought was to just throw them back to Am’, as she might not enjoy having me walk up to her on the bed. In my drunken state of mind I didn’t realize that I didn’t throw the pillows up to her, I threw them on her.

Furthermore, I didn’t even realize that she was still lucid, so when I saw her lying immobile on the bed with a pillow wrapped around her head, I thought that walking up to her and removing the pillow was the best way to ensure that she could breathe freely.

As she felt the weight shift from me walking up on the bed behind her, Am’ started kicking around wildly, sending pillows and blankets flying. “Stay away! I told you I was willing to take chances, but not the risks! Begone!”

Being the drunken fool I was, I didn’t react to her voice or her actions, and just continued to walk forward. This ended up having me stand directly above her, my legs balanced out between her kicking ones.

Being the sentimental prick I was in my drunken state, I thought it might be a good idea to lean in close and tell her what I wanted to do, even though I thought she was unconscious. “Don’t worry, I’ll remove the pillow so you can breathe again.”

Feeling my breath on her neck scared Am’ greatly, causing her to send her wings up with great force, throwing me up into the ceiling, knocking me unconscious.