Five years after the death of Twilight Sparkle, Spike is now living and working at Sugar Cube Corner, and the bakery is going through some tough times. Fortunately, Spike finds a plant he thinks would make a good decoration, to make the place feel more alive and get the customers back. The plan works and Spike is made famous, but there's a cost...
Based on the musical "Little Shop of Horrors". Inspired by DisneyFanatic2364's "My Little Shop of Horrors" (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLR_uUTulZ0wADB9vmr0vbhvMLffjS540a).
This is my first time writing anything so please don't be too harsh.
Chapters (6)
Great chapter, I hope to see more soon.
By the way, did Spike grow a lot? That might've sounded a bit dum, but I'm not sure how I should picture Spike while I'm reading. The rest of it I could picture perfectly, though.
3942223 thank you!
Well, the way I picture it, Spike didn't grow much, but it's up to you how you picture it
Love this
Only spotted a few typos, easily fixed.
*Rarity's
Need a comma after Rarity, a period after said and 'now' should be capitalized. You have this happen several times throughout. You also have a couple instances where you capitalize 'said' when it shouldn't be or use a period inside the quotation marks when it should be a comma.
The line sort of, ends there. What was she trying to say?
It's Angel. You spelled it right the first time, then you sort of slipped about and spelled it Angle.
Also, in a previous chapter Pinkie said she was helping Fluttershy prepare for the wedding. With the context of the situation, I thought they were talking about Rarity getting married. This chapter clears that up as it is Flutters getting hitch(though to whom doesn't seem to be mentioned, perhaps that could be thrown in too). Perhaps the line could be tweaked a bit to reflect that?
*want
*Apple Bloom (you also spell it right, but as a single word when I believe the name is two words)
*suggested
I think the word you want it threatened.
But, typos aside(which running it through spellcheck could easily fix), this was a fun read. Short and sweet. Though a bit heavy on the telling rather than showing. Like, describing the plant for example. You never really described what it looked like aside from like a Fly Trap. Or even how big it is. I assume it started out small and grew bigger the more it ate. But, nothing in the narrative tells me if this is true or not aside from the fact that Spike carried it there, and t went form eating ponies in pieces to eating them whole.
You definitely need to work on the 'show don't tell' aspect.
But for a first fic, it was decent.
3976002 Thank you very much
'Decent' is actually way better than I thought it's going to turn out
Again, thak you for the criticism.
3976002 Okay, I think I fixed all the typos you mentioned. Thank you for the help.
I wish there were more happy emoticons on this site
Really good story so far.
However, maybe you can write something other then say when a pony/dragon is talking.
Still deserves a like
doing it along with the music! woooooooooooo! its funner that way!
It's kill or be killed
Have a like and a moustache
Plus blood taste delicious, I don't see why the plant was bad.
Who is Fluttershy marrying, put my mind at rest.