Everything was all smiles and giggles when Pinkie learned she was pregnant. But that quickly changes when she learns a devastating fact about her foal to be. What will Pinkie do? Will Twilight be able to use her magic to make things all better, or are some problems more complicated to solve than that?
Author's note: This story is a comedy first and foremost, but it does touch on an adult topic that some people are touchy about. If you are easily offended, you may not want to read this one.
11-2-2014: I added some more jokes and scenes to the story, in preparation for the sequel. If you liked this improved version of the story, be sure to leave a thumbs up!
Chapters (1)
yeah...this is a horrible story. completely. promotes killing, way out of character, and just plain wrong. it's kinda sick man
Y'know, I'm not easily offended. I'm not actually offended by this but... This was supposed to be a comedy. And this isn't funny. At all.
This is kinda awful, actually.
3935345
Not even funny in the 'Oh God this is so horrible it's hilarious' kind of way?
EDIT: And having read the story... ok? This is supposed to be a comedy? No jokes, no antics, no shenanigans or slapstick or even a little bit of crude, dark humor. This was just... there. I don't understand anything that went on.
Why is a colt bad? Why did Rarity go with it? What's up with the culture in Ponyville? Why is none of this explained in the story? You don't even imply anything to the contrary, or why colts are such a bane. Sure, Canterlot supports equal birth since they might need the guys to be drafted, but there's tons of stallions there that don't serve in the military. Why is it different in Ponyville?
This isn't a story, this is just a path of logic that doesn't have a beginning or proper ending, and it doesn't even succeed in its given mission. It's not funny. It's not enlightening. It doesn't give us a view into how your view of Equestria functions. it doesn't offer anything besides "Oh God, my baby's gonna be a boy. Better kill 'em!"
If someone saw meaning in this story, feel free to enlighten me, but it's a waste of 2000 words as is. Extend it, then maybe you'll get a bit more attention. Show us why Ponyville doesn't like colts.
3935353 No. THAT was the South Park Stem Cells/Christopher Reeve sucking Stem Cells out of aborted fetuses episode.
This was just shitty.
That's messed up not quite discord level but still pretty messed up good read though.
No. Just... no.
This has to be a troll-fic. You can't have thought this was an even remotely-reasonable take on the "adult topic", and it certainly isn't remotely what I would consider a comedy. If you really think Pinkie Pie tricking Twilight into aborting her foal just because it's a colt instead of a filly is funny, then you need your bloody head examined.
3935362
A good read would be something where you take away some kind of lesson. This was hollow.
You did not touch on the topic in a serious way. Pinkie Pie is OOC for this fic. Pinkie Pie of all ponies wouldn't care what gender her foal is, nor would she want to get an abortion just because of it. Implying that parents would do such a thing as a result is even more horrible. It would've been better had it just been Pinkie Pie having doubts about whether or not she was qualified to rise a child, and if abortion was something that she wanted.
Heck the fact that you labeled this as "Comedy" is a sign of trouble. There's nothing funny about this. It's not even on the level of "So Bad It's Good".
3935386
...Fuck, now I'm wanting to write a pregnancy fic about Pinkie about exactly that issue. Wonder what I'd do with it, though? It's a heck of a story right there.
Bleh... time to file it away in the 'Ideas To Do' list!
What exactly is "adult" about this? It reads like a child's understanding of pregnancy, abortion, and gender bias. It's terrible.
Hey.
Remember that episode where Pinkie Pie babysits the Cake Twins and adores them both to pieces?
You realize how out of character for her and un-funny this is now, yes?
3935395 If you ever do write that story please make sure you do some research on the topic, and make sure you take note of what Pinkie Pie should, and should not, do.
piclair.com/data/3tins.jpg
The real sad thing?
This passed moderation!
3935386
So would you say this is an abortion of a story?
3935417 static02.mediaite.com/geekosystem/uploads/2013/12/doge.jpg
So Sad, Much Strange, Many Wonder, No LOLS, Much Pregnant, So Pinkie, WOW...
"I'm warning this fanfiction not to get silly." Oops, too late.
Points gun to my head
I won't want to live on this world anymore
Based on what the comments alone have said and having not read it, I will say this: I hate abortion stories, and I hate stories that think they are funny by not explaining anything about why abortion is a good idea, and why it would be best to abort a foal JUST BECAUSE IT WILL BE A BOY! I also hate abortion in general, but I respect the people who decide to get it if they have a good reason, like giving birth will kill them, BUT THIS STORY SHOWS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF A GOOD BLOODY REASON!
3935385 how about never take anything for granted does that not strike you as the moral of the story?
3935476
Not in the slightest, given the way this was written. For that moral to count, you'd need an extension to reveal the implications of such an act, and to see what Twilight does in response to all this.
Instead, we're basically given 'Hey, I'm having a boy. Kill 'em for me.' Then she does, and regrets it a bit before the story ends. There's no soul to this.
3935430
A lot of really bloody awful stuff passes moderation, so it's hardly surprising. "Moderation" doesn't even seem to bother screening for grammar or spelling half the time, much less for content.
3935485 yet you dismiss the fact that what happened happened because twilight took 1.) Pinkie's word which without a pinkie promise amounts to squat.2.) She never bothered to double check the spell pinkie has ni background in spellcraft therefore her "health" spell should have been checked before it was cast no matter how you slice it that's criminal negligence if i ever saw it!
This fic is sick and wrong, you are sick and wrong, you should just delete your FiMFiction account, and turn in your Brony Badge because of this. Have a, and I say this as sarcastically as possible, good day sir or madam.
And to the People Upvoting this: You are also just as sick and wrong as the writer.
Oh boy look at all this hate
hate hate hate that's the brony way. hate hate hate hate hate
Edit: After actually reading the story, it's obvious the whole thing is a trollfic. You guys are wayyyyyy too sensitive.
3935520 Hating this has nothing to do with being a brony, this is hating on something that is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG.
3935554
You're doing exactly what the author wants though. Think about that
3935520 No.
We just don't find abortion funny.
Or this story as a matter of fact.
3935430
It's not sad. When a story is moderated it checks for grammar, how relevant it is, etc.
It doesn't matter how fucked up it seems to be, if it's a legit story that has to do with the mlp universe, no matter how jokingly it's made, it's worthy to get accepted.
3935512
This all amounts to trust, of which Twilight has utmost confidence in Pinkie. Instead of blaming Twilight for not checking things, you should be blaming Pinkie equally for first putting a knife in her back.
Point 1: A Pinkie Promise is just that, a promise. Twilight has no reason to doubt Pinkie's words, even if it does come to magic. She trusted her about the child, and trusted that Pinkie came to accept things. You neglect something just as much:
Pinkie doesn't kill ponies.
Point 2:
Double checking the spell? Ok, this point falls apart right at the start, and honestly, it's a gigantic hole in the story anyway. At the end, it's revealed that the page was written in a different font, used a different page, wasn't numbered, and was bordered with balloons. All of these would set off red flags in Twilight's head were she paying attention. She always pays attention.
You could offset this with her trust in Pinkie, which again, would take precedence. This isn't criminal negligence, this is someone taking advantage of another's trust in them. That could be skewed as criminal intent, in the end making this first-degree murder if you consider the child to be of sapient quality. In the end, Twilight isn't in the wrong here. It's negligence, it's abuse of trust, it's anything you wanna call it. This story does not tell the right moral anyway considering your points!
3935624 out of curiosity do you play the ace attory series?
Such a promising story, I was even willing to forgive the bad grammar and pacing at the beggining, and then you had to do what you did.
3935652
No, but I've seen plenty of LPs. If you're gonna get into a spiel about law, just don't bother. We both know this story isn't gonna become a court case.
I WILL FUCKING EAT YOUR FIC, AND MAYBE YOU!
ANGRY JHO IS HERE
3935673 no i was just marveling at your counter it's really well put together and it's always nice to meet a fellow fan even if we happen to be on opposite sides of the court room.
3935732
Ah. Thanks. It's a rare thing for me to put together coherent arguments.
3935785 and it was masterfully done i almost suspected you were a lawyer or at the very least a law student.
3935835
Much obliged, my friend.
What can you do? I mean, you stuff yourself with so much stallion cocks during a party and get preggers, okay that's cool YAY you're going to have a FILLY OF YOUR OWN!
But then you realize the horrifying truth of it all. Your filly has a penis. It turns out it isn't a filly at all!
Suddenly, those 25 stallion gangbang orgy party doesn't seem like such a good thing anymore.
"Filly of GTFO!" said the Pinkie Pie to her unborn child. Now to figure out what to do about an unwanted pregnancy? Can't go missing out on parties over some dumb colt she won't be able to bang herself! Her daddy did enough of that to her when she was at the rock farm...
OF COURSE! Time to trick Twilight into performing an abortion spell that magically erases all trace of that scummy colt inside of her!
Twilight is best pony friend forever. Now Pinkie can start ALL over again!
THE END.
So, misandry to the extreme and Twilight made to do an abortion. At least Pinkie Pie didn't have to physically harm herself and punch her guts or drink stuff to try and kill off the baby inside her so she can flush it out her system in some random bush somewhere.
I guess there can only be a certain amount of colts in Ponyville born at a given time to insure that only the basic continuation of the Matriarchal Society continues to prosper and Pinkie won't get to teach her filly the joys of endless orgies and what deep penetration feels like.
/trolololo
Fic was just meh. Mostly rushed and done to garner a reaction. I don't see the hate, fic isn't supposed to be taken seriously. And abortion, regardless of how stupid the skank is, is a legitimate right for all females. Those that get pregnant at parties like Pinkie Pie that wasn't part of a rape (but mainly because they should know better anyways) should just get fixed. Learn to use a freaking contraceptive.
Sucks to be Twilight.
3935947
Tooooo put a disconnected look on things... yeah, that pretty much sums it up, sure. There's not a whole lot of reason to hate this story, no, but I just feel gypped, really. Wasted some good amount of time reading this.
3935866 however as a fellow ace attorney fan i feel i should point out you last arguement about the page kinda backfired some i mean that while not sinister would have made her ask about it at least but that's more on the arthur than the character at least in my opinion.
3935970
Exactly why I made the point about it being a big hole in the story. Twilight would've asked about it, but it's something the author left out. Flies in the face of logic, it does. Not even any distractionary tactic pulled off by Pinkie, not even an attempt to hide what she did.
It's just... 'Hey, this looks not legit in the slightest. Let's do it anyway!'
Maybe the Twilight in this story got dropped on her head as a child.
3935980 that or she has PTSD from turnabout storm?
3935987
Never saw Turnabout Storm, but PTSD doesn't share the same symptoms here.
The video any good?
3935997
its amazing, and the lets watch of it is hilarious.
3935997
3936011 it's also being wrote as we speak it's in my favorites if your interested?
3936041
I think I'll go with the animated version for now if I find the time. I've always been a fan of Phoenix Wright!
3936054 u was going to object but there's nothing to object to.
No. Just no!