- Member Since 16th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 2nd, 2014
SwiperTheFox
This sneaky fox, always clad in a blue mask and gloves, has long been a bane of unwary travelers with loose accouterments.
SwiperTheFox
Joined 16th Jan, 2012 ·
Offline
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Shipping 💖11,690 stories ·9,749 members
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Human in Equestria17,041 stories ·16,848 members
- Second Person Stories1,561 stories ·1,826 members
M/M Shipping1,293 stories ·2,812 members
Humans falling in love with ponies.2,423 stories ·6,086 members
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Not much of my thing. But I give it a vote up for the sole purpose of the writing itself bieng good. Great job, sort of....
Oooh, more Gayburn. I approve wholeheartedly.
RagingSemi opened me to clopfics.I thank him.I approve.Not of the gay thing.Just the writing.
Ohhhh I've seen you comment on stories before now to read one of your stories :D
I like this.
I'm suprised your not drowning in thumbs downs
353134
Me too!
I think that's just because:
sadpanda.us/images/885078-T4P9K3T.png
Bronies know sexy when they see it.
355781
pffffff HAHAHAHAHAHA
ok, i just read the whole thing of it
youre lucky i was in a generous mood 2nite, i wouldnt have read a m/m clopfic under normal circumstances
355781
actually, i'm more surprised because I know the majority of bronies are 20 something straight guys (plus other implications I won't mention). but, yeah, braeburn's the series sexpot...and I just got a pic idea out of it, too :P
>that description
Swiper no swiping!
357063
You're too late!
sadpanda.us/images/850965-663XF67.jpg
In all seriousness, I hope you love this story. It's a love letter to other authors such as yourself that prefer this style.
358016
I'm probably not the best person to ask, m/m isn't really my thing. I'd hazard a guess from the votes that it's going over well with the intended audience, though!
358149
But is the writing okay? (I guess if you don't like m/m, what you read up to the point where the naughty stuff begins).
358162
The writing I don't see too much issue with, other than slightly awkward sentences here and there. One thing that did jump out at me, though, is that your audience insert is way too specific - 2nd person is as much a mission statement as anything else. Saying "you" and then describing something that the majority of your target audience isn't like is pretty jarring (though admittedly in many ways I'm used to that). It's an audience insert for good reason, the majority of the time it's focussed entirely on wish-fulfilment and ensuring it's easy to become immersed. In a lot of ways, having such a blank slate as a protagonist hurts the story, but it's a necessary evil for the genre, I feel.
If you have a particular story to tell that needs two well defined characters, 1st or 3rd person is probably a better bet. Other than that, though, it seems nice, and I hope your target audience enjoys it!
358197
Yeah, I don't really like writing in second person. I guess I felt like, to make it something that I'd personally enjoy writing, I had to make things more specific. It's still an audience insert, but it's like the audience assuming a slightly stylized character (maybe it's like how in video games you play 'generic super soldier X'). Whereas, here, you play (generic brony / The Who fan / ex-Californian). Or it's like those 'Choose Your Own Adventure' novels that I love where it's "you", but the "you" will have specific details filling in some things as well.
But whatever. Now, it's on to future straight stories!
358214
Mmm, personally I think 1st person would probably work better for that. More like reading somebody's diary entries than being told what you'd do in a situation.
But hey, that's just like, my opinion, man.
My inner proof-reader is going 'gngngngngng' at some parts of the story (
), but it was pretty good overall. As TAW has indicated a lot of readers dislike overly-specific second-person work (even down to liking gender to be undefined in some cases) but as the qualities attributed to 'you' were used in the plot of the story I can forgive those. The theme itself, of slowly dawning realisation on both sides followed by slightly-guilty fumbling came across well. 
Edit: oh, it's marked 'incomplete'. Is an epilogue on the way?
AND THEN THERE WAS LEMONADE ALL OVER MY SCREEN
WRITE MORE GAY STORIES
also is the name of this a reference to the artist braeburned?
361615
Glad you like it! Yeah, I'll be doing more gay stuff soon. Don't worry.
And you're totally right about the name. I love that artist. The imagery behind this fic is based on this this pic of theirs (warning NSFW). Snowball, clothes swapping, and close face to face positioning with loads of kissing.
362133
god i love that picture
360322
Yeah, I'm thinking of writing a little endnote thing to this soon enough.
I don't like it too much in fics when normal ponies and humans suddenly become like porn stars knowing exactly what to do as things begin, so I went with a more realistic approach. Fumbling and silly as they explore each other. I thought it would actually be a lot sexier that way.
362193 I agree with you! There's going to have to be some amount of 'do you have a tab A that can fit in my slot B?' in the human/pony pairing as well, so excited discovery and giggling fumbling is all good.
Me Gusta
Awww...more...more I say
Fim fictuon why are you turning me bi?
370654
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/pic/src/132909924207.png
Don't fight it.
Dont want to resist but i must!!!
Dang it i just saved that image *face-hoof*
372626 NOOOOOOO THE DREADED SEXY IMAGE!
MOAR GAY STUFF
" You giggle as Braeburn knocks his hind hooves down into your shorts. He pulls it several feet up,
stopping as his huge colthood and fuzzy tentacles stick out from the open fly."
Tentacles? I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going... XD
Mmm..
Not enough M/M human x pony stories! Makes me wanna write one of my own, but... I lack a computer of my own.. DX *using kindle fire*
Hmm... human x soarin'? Human x Braeburn is awesome because of you... Human x Big Mac? Hmm... *le overthink* human x OC perhaps? D:
Alright... imma stop there before I ramble any more about ideas for m/m human x pony clopfics... XD
394857
OOoooh, a human-x-Soarin' would be super fun. But I don't know if I could get it to work. I'll have to think about it.
395991
Hehe. If you ask me, I think Wonderbolts need an episode to themselves. So we get more on personality of at least Spitfire and Soarin'. Fleetfoot perhaps. Plus... Just learn more on the Wonderbolts.
Favd.
MUST NOT SAVE PiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiC Damn..... saved it..... CURSE YOU. And once again I've read another M/M fic....
THIS WEBSITES TURNIN' ME BISEXUAL. *runs in a circle laughing like a sycopath*
449859
You.
Cannot.
Resist.
Braeburn.
sadpanda.us/images/916012-Z0N283P.jpg
*drools at all the Braeburn pictures*
So... bucking... smexy!!! 
469259
I'm not gay, and this story is pretty cool.
I didn't cry, but my vision is blurry cuz of the tears.
555107
555188
Yeah, this was a real personal sort of story. I put a lot of myself into it. I felt pretty sad at the ending as well, when I was writing it. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad that you like it.
This is not relevant to my interests, because seriously fuck that bullshit.
I'm not ashamed to admit it, and will never be ashamed of it, I love reading M/M clop-fics
I giggled at
male
Pony
Semen
Ffffuuuuck I'm depressed.
I'm glad I read that.
Bittersweet romances are good for the soul.
828971
Happy that you liked it!
And, yeah, the whole "male... pony... semen..." thing was fun to write. This whole thing was actually super fun to write, actually.
forum.paticik.com/thumbnails/717/269/1ac/144/b45/8d6/209/64e/3c6/409/ec_450xNULL.jpg
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.