Pinkamena rolled over, frowning to herself. This was starting to get out of hand. Just the other day she had practically stared at Twilight's ink-spotted face. A few seconds more and it would have gotten very awkward. Sooner or later, somepony was going to notice. Not for the first time, she silently thanked whatever twist of genetics had produced a bright pink coat in the Pie family. It made blushes so much easier to hide.
It was hopeless, of course. She knew that. There was no way that such a relationship could work. She was, essentially, the product of an abnormal brain structure and a nasty instance of psychological trauma. A split personality that only enjoyed some semblance of normal life due to the afore-mentioned brain structure and the wonders of Pinkie Pie's...unusual relationship with the rest of reality. She shared a body with two other individuals, and they rotated control of said body almost at random. The only clear pattern that she generally spent the least amount of time in control out of the three. What pony would be willing to even date somepony with such a screwed-up personal life? Who would like it if their special somepony was in control of their body only some of the time, and any intimate moments with whom would have two observers by default?
And that wasn't even the biggest issue. That particular title went to the question of whether Twilight even liked mares to begin with. Heck, until she'd bumped into that guard in the Crystal Empire, after coming back through the mirror, Twilight hadn't shown the slightest hint that she was interested in stallions either. Until then, Pinkamena had been half-convinced that the Librarian/Princess was asexual!
Pinkamena groaned, and buried her head in her pillow. She was getting worked up over it all again. Logically, with the exception of ignoring it, there was nothing that she could really do with this crush that wasn't going to end badly. Therefore, the best course of action would probably be to ignore it and hope it faded over time.
Or just wait until Twilight fell in love with somepony and then deal with the heartbreak...
She shook her head to get rid of the unwanted thought. That was enough of that. She had to get to sleep soon or her 'sisters'- she called them that because really, they were as close as sisters, and in any case the word fitted as well as any other could- would wonder what was on her mind. And then start the unwanted questioning.
The next day brought a semi-welcome distraction in the form of Zecora. On one hoof, the excitement caused by the Zebra's tale did wonders for getting Pinkamena focused on something other than her issues. On the other, this was because Zecora had been robbed by a certain convict in the middle of the night. The Zebra had limped into town early that morning with an injured leg, apparently caused by Probe magically blasting her backwards into a wall. As soon as they had heard what had happened from a customer, one of the Ponyville doctors who had been on duty at the time, Surprise had shot across town in a blur. Pinkamena tried to ignore the view from their eyes, in case Surprise took a 'short-cut' or two. She had enough on her mind without getting a headache from watching reality being twisted for ease of travel.
"Zecora!" yelled Surprise as she burst through the door. "Are you alright?!?"
The occupants of the room- that is, two guards, Nurse Redheart, and Zecora herself, all flinched. The Zebra herself was in a bed, with the guards on one side and Redheart on the other. The white walls and clean, simple furniture identified the room as being in Ponyville hospital.
There was an awkward moment of silence, broken only by the sound of Surprise panting heavily, before Zecora managed to get her thoughts together. "My leg is hurt, but I am still intact. Nurse Redheart told me this is a fact."
"Oh, ok." Surprise switched from panic to her normal, cheery disposition in the blink of an eye. The panting stopped too- it was like her exhaustion had completely disappeared. To be honest, though, there was likely not much need to breathe deeply in the first place; Surprise did tend to exaggerate such things. "Sooo...does it hurt?" she asked curiously, peering at Zecora's bandaged leg.
Zecora chuckled. "It does sting quite a bit, but I have taken many a harder hit."
One of the guards coughed. "Er, Miss Zecora? I still need to finish taking your statement..."
As Zecora apologised and recounted the events of the previous night, Surprise sat and listened, surprisingly quiet. That is, she only interrupted the zebra about five times throughout the tale. When Zecora was finished with her story, the guard put away his notepad and thanked her for her time.
"It was no trouble, Sergeant Blade. I know it is important to not allow the memory to fade."
"Uh...yeah. I agree." nodded the guard awkwardly. He was clearly unused to Zecora's rhyming. Surprise stifled a small giggle at the look on his face. The guards filed out of the room, and just before the door closed the occupants could hear the beginnings of a conversation:
"The LT. is gonna flip when he reads this..."
"Oh come on, I'm sure it won't be that bad!"
"We came for a statement, Steel Blade! This is a bloody three-page poem!"
As the door closed, preventing any further eavesdropping, a rather awkward silence hovered in the room for a moment. This was soon broken, however, by Surprise finally losing her self-restraint and falling to the floor laughing. Zecora joined in soon after, followed by Redheart.
"I...I must admit." chuckled Zecora in-between breaths. "I may have overdone it a bit!"
After chatting to Zecora to a bit, Pinkie had taken over and bounced around town for a bit, chatting to various ponies. After a while, Pinkamena spoke up.
"Hey, Pinkie? Aren't you forgetting something?"
Pinkie tilted her head. "I'm forgetting something?"
Pinkamena sighed. "What were we doing before we heard about Zecora?" she prompted.
"...Oops." Pinkie winced. They'd ditched work. "I'd better get back, huh?"
"There you are!"
"Hmm?" Pinkie turned around, to see two rather bedraggled guards running up to her. "We've been looking all over town for you, Miss Pie! Please, don't go running off like that!" The same guard said, trotting up to her. His partner stayed silent. A muscle near his eye was twitching. Pinkie looked at him curiously.
"Hey, what's up Mr. Guard? You're looking a bit twitchy."
The guard stayed silent. His slightly wide-eyed expression stayed intact too. His partner coughed awkwardly. "I'm not sure what's wrong with him, Miss Pie. He got a good look at..whatever it was you did outside the sofa shop, and hasn't been right since."
"Whoops! My bad!"
"Oooh." said Pinkie understandingly, as Pinkamena facehoofed. "Not to worry! Just let him sleep it off and he'll be fine."
"Sleep it off? Are you sure?"
Pinkie taped her chin. "Weellll, I think so, at least. Mr. Cake saw me do something one time, and he managed to get better after a night or two. He did have a few nightmares the first night, though, so watch out for that, okay?"
"...Nightmares?" asked the guard hesitantly.
Pinkie nodded. "Yup! Most ponies don't like it when I do my thing, and their brains can go a little wibbly for a while if they get a clear look at it. It gets better quickly, though, so no need to worry!"
"Your...thing? Actually, never mind. I don't wanna know." said the guard, putting a hoof to his head and closing his eyes for a moment. He sighed, and reassumed his original stance. "Will you be returning to the bakery now?" he asked.
"Yup! Sorry about running off, but I was super-worried about Zecora, you know?" Pinkie apologised, smiling at the guard. She turned to the catatonic guard. "Sorry about what you saw, Mr. Twitchy-Eye Guard Pony! I'll be more careful next time, Pinkie Promise!" She made the required gestures quickly, much to the confusion of the speaking guard. He decided to just ignore it though, mentally filing it under 'Strange things done by Miss Pie'.
The Canterlot guards, though new to Ponyville, were quickly getting used to doing that.
THE ZECORA HAS BEEN DOUBLED
Pinkie is literally driving at least one of her guards to madness. Love it.
I wonder if those three have their own Dreamspaces, or if they all share one dream. Someone should probably go ask Luna.
6234074 Fixed. Thanks for catching that!
6234153 That's actually a very good question do all three of them dream differently?
Also how does Pinkie get around; by making her own wormholes,shift to a different plane or step outside of reality to get around?
Use the mirror pool and a spell from Twilight to try and split them and pour each personality into a clone? Cause if not that romance is so not gonna happen.
6234196
Pinkie rips a hole in reality, then she seals the hole with cupcake batter.
Well , the romance and how you would conduct it is one of my main interests in this story , but I can certainly wait , be it that you decide to put it in the sequel or simply to keep writting until you reach that point.
As long as it is not completely cancelled , I am fine with waiting... even if I am a bit disapointed not to see it soon , if I get to see it eventually that's fine.
Plus , if it mean that this is not going to make the situation seem unrealistic , that's all good.
(
As long as the "sequel" arrive soon enough !)Never try and grasp the idea behind Pinkie Pie physics, or your mind will be shredded apart, just like that poor guard in this chapter.
6234196 Nobody knows. At least nobody sane enough to explain it in any intelligible language.
Meh, I honestly didn't care much for the romance plot. Mostly because most romance in stories doesn't feel realistic, and trying to do a romance with a character with D.I.D. while trying to keep it realistic would just make things much harder.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
6234196 6234263
My guess is that she accesses the same "reality" that Discord lives in during "Make friends but keep Discord".
...speaking of which, I have completely forgotten. Does this story take place before or after "Keep Calm and Flutter on"?
6234367 The story is set sometime during season four. I'm not sure when exactly at the moment, but I'm sure Cheese Sandwich and Maud's visits have been mentioned at some point. As a rule, I guess, assume all the major events apart from Tirek have occured.
6234295
Understanding Pinkie Physics is actually rather simple. Just hold on loosely, but don't let it go. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna loose control.
In other words, her reality hopping uses a different set of physics than the ones we are most familiar with. Trying to pin down how she does what she does, a feat that probably requires knowledge of quantum entanglement and 9 dimensional physics at least, using only the layman's knowledge of 4 dimensional physics, is a recipe for padded rooms and coats with extra long sleeves. For the aforementioned layman pony, it is usually best to smile, nod, accept that there is a rational explanation, and just trot away without thinking too hard on it.
I suggest Pinkie's guards listen to this song. Hopefully it'll help their situation.
By the way, loving this story!
Rock on!
-ThePortalPonies
Clearly, Pinkie and Surprise now need to start crushing on other ponies entirely.
If you can't fit a romantic subplot in, then you shouldn't try to force it. Adding a romantic subplot where it doesn't belong is the surest way to ruin a story. I've seen it many times before. You shoudn't feel obligated to add romance.
MOAR!
Twinkiemena is best ship
While I am a bit interested in seeing how that romantic situation would play out, I agree with many of the others in the comments; don't try to force a romantic subplot in the story if it does not look like it is going to work. The romantic subplot sounds like it could hold it's own in a sequel if you ever really want to do it. Twilight and everyone else have just learned about Pinkie, Pinkamena, and Surprise and now they have to deal with someone who wants to hurt them. They have enough to worry about for the time being.
6234441 Nine dimensional physics? Don't you mean eleven dimensional physics? I'm pretty sure there are eleven dimensions, not nine...
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
22:36_7/22/2015
6235099
Really? I thought there were ten.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=XjsgoXvnStY
There was a funnier one - done by the American Onion, but I can't find it....
6235169 You are forgetting, the 0th dimension, which is a single point without size.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
23:18_7/22/2015
6235099
I would have to double check, but last I heard, the farthest out Humanity has figured out is 9.
Have a link: Kupo!
6235205 We theoretically know of the dimensions zero through ten, as far as I am aware...
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
23:28_7/22/2015
6235217
I could argue that D0 is marked that way for a reason, and D10 (being D9 represented as a single point) is only relevant if someone ever discovered D11. I could, but I won't. Lets just agree that we are both on the same page, and any difference of opinion we might still have at this point is a matter of semantics and far, far outside the scope of this conversation. Understanding out to D9 should be sufficient to figure out what Pinkie is doing, even if the how still eludes us.
going to end badly.Therefore
Hey, what's up Mr Guard
what you saw, Mr Twitchy-Eye
1. Forgot your spacing.
2. Forgot your full stop. It should be Mr. or Mrs. To help indicate it's an abbreviation.
3. Same as 2.
I also think the romantic subplot could be better focused in a sequel because the tone of what you want to do with this story and the subplot are on near different ends of the spectrum.
6235217 I watched that video. My brain hurts now.
6235272 Your point is valid, but at this place in time, we are simply arguing semantics. I agree with your point, but I still feel that there are eleven dimensions that could be relevant, ten if you don't include the zeroth dimension.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
0:5_7/23/2015
6235290 Well, I guess you aren't capable of tolerating Pinkie Pie's breaking of physics in three dimensional space. She follows, at the very least, fourth dimensional physics.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
0:20_7/23/2015
I just love that Pinkie's existence is so crazy, it actually drives mad ponies around her without eve noticing.
That takes the cake, honestly. That just takes the cake.
6235285 Thanks for catching those mistakes! They're fixed now.
Poor guard. and best line from this chapter goes to:
This is a bloody three-page poem.
Not many minds are prepared for dimensional travel. I feel bad for that guard.
Suddenly, I really want PinkamenaxTwilight to work out. Clever, very clever. Anyway, great chapter keep up the good work!
~Star
The poor guards of Canterlot had no idea what they were being thrown into. One guard had to write poetry and another is going to need to be neuralized.
6234577
maybe the doctor will be the doozy but the crush thing will come to light too, making it doozy-er. At least i think you are right but i want me to be right too. to tell the truth.
6236623
6236106
6236525
I haven't read this chapter, and all I know is something REALLY bad is going to happen to a guard.
too bad twilight couldnt make homunculus bodies and find a way to transfer Surprise and Pinkamina into them.
6237672 Only one way to find out.
With every chapter, I find myself disappointed because I can only like the story once. This is bloody magnificent, and I need more Pinkie Personality in my life.
Can't say I was enthusiastic about romance anyway- it'd have to be something to overlook for me to enjoy the story... not terribly into shipping, you see. So this is good news for me!
...also, good chapter! Good to see the Law of Pink* putting the guard through their paces!
*The law of physics regarding Pinkie- "This pony is an exception to any and all known and unknown laws of physics and/or reality as she sees fit."
Where'd I get this chocolate fondant from?
O wait, as I passed that 3-eyed guy hanging out with Mr. Yellow-hair!
Mmmmmm, fondant...
SO. MANY. REFERENCES.
6244382 indeed it is
6244382 Pinkamena and Surprise are, at their core, dissociative personalities processed through Pinkie's brain. As strange as that particular bodily organ is, I don't think it makes them truly separate individuals with their own souls, unfortunately. Souls are complicated things, but at best they probably share one, like they do a body.
At worst, you could reason that as Surprise and Pinkamena are technically the result of a mental condition created by the physical state of Pinkie's brain, as influenced by psychological highly-impacting events, they have no place at all in her purely spiritual soul, which is free of such things as physical wounds and trauma. Which I realise is pretty depressing now that I've written that, so don't expect that to crop up.
On top of that, we've already seen that mirror pool clones have their own personalities, copies of the original's but likely with imperfections. Possibly copies of all three personalities, in Pinkie's case. Even if Twilight managed to transplant a personality, this would likely only compound the problem, unless she erased the original personality(s) first...and as that would basically amount to killing a pony or three, I doubt she'd ever be willing to do that.
So, unfortunately, things aren't that simple to resolve.
I'd say sequel, and non-euclidian Pinkie(s) is best Pinkie(s).
6244769
I'm rooting for an eventual some sort of strange and unusual 2-body 4-way TwiXPie3 relationship cuboid. Because it's Pinkie Pie (and subsidiaries), why would you expect any facet of her to have a normal, reasonable, non-confounding relationship?
6237672 I finally read it, and I too feel horrible for the guard.