Guards and Armbands
The days following Probe's breakout were tense, despite the generally positive outlook of those affected. Apart from a few relapses in Pinkie's mood, everything was surprisingly cheerful. The Cakes were rather perturbed by royal guards suddenly setting up the spare room as a miniature outpost of sorts, especially when they heard why Pinkie suddenly needed said protection. Namely, that a revenge-driven unicorn was likely headed her way. They had not yet been informed about Pinkie's 'headmates', but were nevertheless now fully aware of the danger posed by Pinkie's old psychologist. Of course, this didn't mean that they opposed the measures- if anything, they were glad that Pinkie was being protected.
The patrolling royal guards quickly became a common sight around Ponyville, and of course everyone wanted to know why they were there. Twilight, in a public announcement, gave the same, slightly edited story as the Cakes had been given, and the townspeople as a whole had immediately pledged their support. Some had even volunteered to help out the guards as additional units. Pinkie was literally a friend to everyone, and friends stand by one another in times of trouble. Soon after the announcement, the first wanted posters were going up, depicting the scowling stallion for all to see. The news coverage was also decent- although certain details were being kept under wraps, before long everyone in Equestria was going to have heard of the breakout.
There were around 30 Canterlot guards in Ponyville, who were split into three squads, each with its own leading officer. The whole group was overseen by lieutenant Swift Strike. Lieutenant Strike was a unicorn, with a dark brown coat and black mane. His cutie mark was of two crossed, silver spears. A lighter grey outline gave the impression that they were either shining or glowing brightly. Like most guards, he almost never seemed to remove his armor, the one notable exception being at Pinkie's 'Welcome to Ponyville' party, a joint celebration for each guard that had come to the town. The party pony had insisted that he 'relax for a bit and enjoy the party'. Much to the surprise of those ponies and guards unfamiliar with him, he readily agreed. It was Twilight's belief that this mindset, which was so compatible with Pinkie's, was one of the reasons Celestia had chosen him to lead the Ponyville squad.
In Canterlot, Lieutenant Strike had perhaps one of the best reputations in the Royal Guard, but rumors and gossip about his exploits had long since rendered him a tough, no-nonsense military stallion in the eyes of many. Granted, he acted in such a mind-set when in combat situations, but in more relaxed circumstances he was actually fairly laid back. He was well known for his skill with a spear, even being able to conjure and fight an enemy with multiple so-called 'mage spears'.
Mage spears were magical constructs, magic-formed weaponry similar to shields in composition. A single construct was fairly easy to create, requiring a similar magic output to the basic shield spell. The upsides of using them included the fact that while a regular spear was static in shape, a mage spear could be reformed and shaped to adapt to changing battle conditions. Plus, an enemy couldn't steal it and use it themselves. Despite this, most guards preferred to use weapons of wood or steel, physical objects that simply didn't take as much effort to wield. However, the more one tried to create at once, the more divided their attention had to be to keep them stable and wield them. An unstable construct could shatter, or simply dissipate. Also, multiple constructs were typically created with magic split between them, giving them less strength individually. And, like shields, they required a constant supply of magic. As such, they were taxing to use in long, drawn out battles.
During the Changeling siege of Canterlot, Swift Strike successfully helped defend an orphanage by wielding TEN simultaneously.
Currently, he was using his impressive magical skills to deliver sweet treats to various tables in Sugarcube Corner, along with corporal Quick Shot, a pegasus who was skilled in archery. The pair were currently on duty as Pinkie's personal guard, a position that was on rotation between them and Corporals Brute Force and Iron Hammer, who were both Earth ponies. They were also currently in the dark as to the true nature of Probe's grudge, as were the other guards, although the four did know that something was being kept from them. Princess Celestia had simply said that it wasn't up to her to disclose that piece of information. As a result, they knew only that Pinkie had once been in psychiatric care, and that her treatment somehow resulted in the arrest of one of the doctors.
Working in the bakery, the two military stallions were in their armor, but had deactivated the disguising enchantments in an attempt to avoid completely intimidating the customers. How the personal guard had become waiters was not entirely clear. As far as they could make out, their charge had branded them a pair of 'super-frowny grumpy-pants', used barely understandable and high-speed chatter to somehow press-gang them into service, before finally giving them aprons and the orders for tables nine and twelve.
"I still don't see why we're doing this," grumbled Quick Shot as Swift Strike returned to the counter from taking an order. "We're meant to be guards, not waiters!" The pair were currently stationed behind the counter, every now and again leaving to take the order of a new customer.
"We were assigned to keep an eye on the Element of Laughter. As long as we do so, it doesn't matter what we are. And we did commandeer the spare room to set up surveillance. If you don't like it, try thinking of this as paying back the owners for allowing us to do so," replied Swift Strike, using his magic to pick up two plates of assorted muffins for table six.
"Easy for you to say- I bet you're actually enjoying this..." muttered Quick Shot.
"You know, I think that could count as being rude to a superior officer..." grinned Swift Strike.
"No, I was complaining to a childhood friend. It's only talking to a superior if I say 'sir' at the end," stated Quick Shot, now smirking. The two had indeed been friends since they were young colts, sharing a strong friendship which had easily survived the potential tensions of being different ranks in the guard. "Are you, though? Enjoying this, I mean."
Swift Strike rolled his eyes at the pegasus. "You got me," he said as he moved off to deliver the muffins to a pegasus and her unicorn daughter. "Makes a nice change from doing drills, you know?"
As he left, the bell above the shop door rung, announcing the entrance of a new customer. Quick Shot straightened up as he recognised the Element of Loyalty.
"Hiya Dashie!" called the pink pony at his side. Now, all guards were trained to remain steadfast in the face of danger and react calmly to surprise attacks. Unfortunately, this did not prevent Quick Shot from jumping in shock.
As she entered Sugarcube corner, Rainbow Dash was instantly greeted by Pinkie Pie (probably). Judging by the reaction of the guard next to Pinkie, she probably hadn't been there before Rainbow had opened the door. Sniggering slightly, she turned her focus to Pinkie, who was waving frantically at her. Rainbow frowned in confusion. For some reason, Pinkie was wearing a yellow armband around her right foreleg, the one she was waving with.
"Hey Pinkie! Say, what's with the armband?" she asked, trotting up to the counter. At this, Pinkie jumped over the counter and leant in close.
"It's to tell you who I am! And I'm Surprise!" she whispered, giggling slightly.
"Oh, I get it," said Rainbow as Surprise hopped back behind the counter. "This cause of what I said the other day at the farm?"
"Yup!" beamed Surprise. "A different colour armband each. Rarity made them for us!"
"Huh...So is she ok with...uh...you-know-what?" asked Rainbow, mindful of the guard's attentive ear.
Surprise shrugged, thinking back to the awkward exchange that had occurred. "I dunno. I think she's probably ok with you-know-what, at least if I'm talking about the same you-know-what that you are, which I'm pretty fairly sure that I am. Probably," she said nonchalantly, seemingly oblivious to the confusion it caused.
"Uh...great...?" said Rainbow. A moment of silence passed, during which the pegasus remembered why exactly she had visited the bakery to begin with. "So, er, could I have, like, something for the road? We're setting up a pretty heavy rainstorm for tonight, and it's going to take ages, so I need a snack."
"Sure thing! We've got everything in stock. Oh, except muffins. I think we've sold all of those, so we don't have everything in stock. Apart from muffins though, we've got all of the usual stuff," replied Surprise, looking for something suitable. After a few seconds she held up a couple of frosted cupcakes. "How about these? Do you like them? They were made fresh this morning!"
"Sure!" said Rainbow. "They look great. Thanks!" she smiled. Surprise boxed up the purchase whilst Rainbow dug out the required payment. "Thanks, S-Pinkie. Catch ya later!" said Rainbow, wincing slightly at the slip. Eyes darted to the nearby guard, only to find that he had moved to take care of a gesturing customer. Breathing a small sigh of relief, Rainbow headed towards the door.
As she flew towards the weather office, Rainbow Dash reflected on the recent change in her life. Strangely, the things that were the biggest problems were also somewhat subtle. For example, despite the revelation she still treated Pinkie the same as ever, and vice-versa. However, the multiple personalities had messed up her interactions with Pinkie in various ways. Whereas before, she always knew who she was talking to, she was now second-guessing herself. And although she tried to stop it getting to her, it was still frustrating. How many times now had she struck up a conversation, only to discover she wasn't talking to who she thought she was? Pinkie and Surprise had their differences, but it still took her a while to spot the cues. Unlike Twilight, who seemed to do it almost instantly. At least Pinkamena's mane went flat, but that wasn't always a comfort- it brought up some unsettling memories concerning Pinkie's 'episode' on her birthday. And then there was the niggling doubts- how many of her memories in truth featured Surprise, and not Pinkie? How many experiences did they truly share, and for how many had Pinkie been a mere spectator?
Still, she mused, it wasn't all bad. Ignoring the details, at the end of the day she had made two new friends. That was always a good thing. And those identification issues were hopefully over with, if the armband thing worked. All they had to worry about now was that psychotic monster of a stallion loose in the Everfree. And between the guards, the townsfolk and, well, the Everfree, he hopefully wouldn't be a threat for long.
Now, few things got Rainbow's blood boiling than a friend in danger. She was the Element of Loyalty, after all. So when she arrived at the office, and found that that the weather factory had gotten the order slightly wrong, she knew exactly what to do with the surplus thunderclouds. Sure, it may have been a little irresponsible to just shunt the extra clouds into the Everfree, but it wasn't like anyone was complaining. In fact, there had been a rather large cheer when they had sent off the small but potent storm off into the notorious forest.
Neuron Probe trudged through the Everfree forest. Every now and again, a strange call would emerge from the foliage. Ignoring them, he pressed on. Every now and again, a twinge of pain would run through his injured leg, now hastily bandaged with vines and a few large leaves. The feeling was dull now, though, and thus easier to ignore. The scorched patch of flank, on the other hoof, less so. Still, that was more recent. He growled in frustration. The cave had been the only decent shelter for what felt like miles. In retrospect, it was obvious it would be occupied.
That didn't mean the dragon had been any less of a shock, though.
Still, he had gotten away. And if the lack of dogs barking was any indication, his original pursuers had given up as well, at least for the moment, no doubt discouraged by the forest and it's inhabitants. The respite was, frankly, a relief. And shelter was thankfully not as big a concern as it could be- the sky, or at least what could be seen through the canopy, was clear. The chances of any sort of rain were nil, even if you consider the Everfree's erratic weather patterns. Without clouds, the worst that could occur was some wind.
As if on cue, the Ponyville weather team's 'present' arrived.
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WHy is everything updating now? Dozens of stories are coming back to life all of a sudden!
I would ask where she keeps the extra armbands, but this is Pinkie (plus two) we're talking about here.
5657957 i have to agree there. seen a lot of stories that were dormant suddenly show activity one way or another.
you would be surprised how much i like that fact that celestia and her guards responded so quickly. so many stories seem to be obsessed with the idea that celestia and her guards are just incompetent, or make up reasonings why they would not help the mane six no matter how contrived.
I think I know who that pegasus and her unicorn foal were!
Nice update, hope to see another soon!
... Is he even supposed to be a threat at this point?
IT LIVES! Glad to see this story finally update.
Did Dash, knowing the bad guy was somewhere in the forest, schedule a storm and then dispose of it into the Everfree?
...
That is the most brilliant thing ever
Yay! I'm super happy to see this update! I've missed reading this story.
I'm wondering how Probe is going to get to Pinkie now? Considering that she is heavily protected, he will probably have a difficult time extracting his revenge. I'm curious to see how this will go. 
Huh? It took you a while to update this? Good thing I just read this bit... or maybe not okay, if you take a long time again.
I see that the social dynamics are quite awkward, to be honest, Surprise is just a Pinkie without restraint or limit, so i suppose you could blame her for Pinkie's more insensitive moments in the show, who knows.
Hope you keep it up, looking forward to the rest.
Nice shot, Rainbow! That oughtta keep him quite annoyed.
5657957
My answer to your query is derived from correlation, alas not causation, but hopefully will make smiles.
Because each and every update you read here is worth more than the $15 one could use for a ticket to watch that...abomination that came out recently. You know the one. I know the one. And these stories are all hooves down better than THAT deplorable waste of human experience.
why does all of the suspenseful/badass/terrifying things happen in a storm?
5657987 Obviously she has armbands stashed all over Ponyville, for armband-related emergencies
UPDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5658077 ... You really do get around
Here's a fun question. Who would punish Probe MORE for his treatment of Pinkie? Ponyville, or Celestia? My bits are on Ponyville, i doubt there would be much of Probe left for Celestia to punish after Ponyville finished with him.
5658478 Yes, I do.
It's all well and good that he's having such a time getting to ponyville. Just know thatif you make it too easy for him to fail then you have a villian more in line with a old power rangers side villian (like Golddar or the pig guy) then a vengeful intelligent protagonist.
Not to say that I'm rooting for the bad guy but give him a little credit. I'm looking foward to seeing more Dr. No then Dr. Evil.
This could be an unpopular opinion, but really I don't really like exposition on OCs. It feels cheap and is flatout boring. It doesn't ruin the story for me, but really this chapter feels like possibly the weakest. I'd rather let the characters or actions tell it how it is instead of descriptive paragraphs. Much more fun that way.
Good
This description is both terrifying and intriguing.
You know...does anyone even know what he looks like? If he just avoided some guards it would be quite simple to convince everyone he's just an Innocent traveler.
5658448
...I really don't know what kind of reply I expected.
5658077
If he makes it through all of this trouble, he'll have leveled up enough times that he'll be a boss on his own. Those fools have only fed him experience points!
This sentence appears to be short one noun. "...decent shelter...", perhaps?
Good to see Dash's thoughts on the situation.
It would be funny and difficult if it turns out that each personality has a crush on a different pony or at least 2 of them (say Surprise and Pinkimena and Pinkie Pie has to deal being in the middle of it).
5658937 Ya know what? I think that wanted posters would be stock standard in a situation like this.
5658874
It isn't as bad as you might think. In this story, many of the times in canon that Pinkie was particularly intense, are attributed to Surprise being the one at the helm.
5658308 I don't know the one.
5659141 thanks- fixed now!
5658586 He is actually going to be pretty competent. I just couldn't resist making things a little hard for him, especially considering the bloodlust that was in the comments a few chapters back.
5658937 I've added a bit clarifying this- there's some wanted posters going up, a few news articles. He's definitely not anonymous. Especially with the papers- a prison escape is probably going to be front page news.
Looks like Probe had his parade rained on.
Cool. However, I have a feeling that, somehow, Probe is going to get to Pinkie.
5660263
Especially since Equestria likely doesn't have that many criminals / prisoners, right?
Great chapter, dude. Can't wait till the next one!
This writing is so relatablle to a degree for me, but it is also awsome I like surpize she is cool.
>>Spectrumancer IKR!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!
You forgot to press the "Enter" key on your keyboard before writing Surprise's line.
You forgot to capitalize the first letter in Surprise's name.
5661766 thanks- they're fixed now.
so since he's close enough I'm guessing he'll have a run in to a little blue flower which will help him get close to Pinkie.
5660122
Really? That... That makes me happy on the inside. Oh well, time to make others cry. I refer to 50 Shades of *blaurghGLAGLGHALRRRAGL*... Sorry, I had to violently expunge that novel/story/tripe before it left a bad taste in my mouth.
Anywho, love your work! I eagerly await future installments!
5657957 Part of it might be a new years resolution thing. But I do agree that it feels like a rogue necromancer is having a little fun around here.
5658448 "I have balls stashed all over Ponyville in case of Ball related emergencies!"
But... You're a Mare!
*ducks to avoid hail of chairs and rotten tomatoes*
"WORTH IT!"
THE REVIVAL STAGE! THE GLORIOUS TIME WHEN THE LONG SINCE FORGOTTEN STORIES RISE OUT OF THE ASHES TO GREATNESS! THE GREAT STORY OF THE PINKIE PERSONALITIES HAS BEEN REVIVED! PRAISE IT! PRAISE IT!
Okay, this story seems quite interesting.
Tracking engaged.
All these great stories are being resurrected! Whoever the necromancer is please continue!
Also, serves you right Neuron! I can just see him showing up now, fur matted and bloody, a manic grin on his face as he shambles into ponyville under the cover of night and a thunderstorm... this is gonna get intense. Oh, and Pinkamena is going to beat the ever-living crap out of him if nopony else in the world does first!
5659498
I'm saying the waterworks should of started LOOONG BEFORE THE ELECTRO PART....
This rage comes from me being a kid that was stuck being examined by multiple phych docs through most of his life.... was constantly told that I was "wired differently" and it needed to be fixed.... was told I could be a possible sociopath because I was excited/pissed about the shit I've done after school that may/may not be safe (lighting a tickle me elmo on fire with my 20 year old cousin, that one bitch social worker that won't leave me the fuck alone finding out about the roman candle fight I was in through my friends ratting me out, one kid making a bomb threat in 6th grade and blaming me for it, etc.....). Constantly being fed "medicine".... getting the shit beat out of me because I made my doctor dad look bad by not being social after all this shit... getting the shit beat out of me for being slow in the first place.... NO! APPARENTLY I DON'T KNOW WHEN THE WATERWORKS SHOULD FUCKING START. [expletive deleted], im not high enough for this shit
Yea... Present.
Also, I love the story so far!
I actually, believe it or not, used to have the exact same thing as pinkie pie. Don't be freaked out, the 'voices' are gone, but I literally had arguments with myself and my mind would go into lockdown when I couldn't make a decision.
Again, don't freak out. The 'voices' stopped awhile ago.
There was the angry one.
The uncertain one.
The sensible one.
And then there was me.
And now that it's just me, I'm happy!
Woah... Dejavu moment right there...
Glad to see this. Here's hoping to more.
5662019 Man, now I kinda want to make something with the title "50 Shades of Projectile Vomit", because that was a really evocative image.