• Published 7th Feb 2014
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Pinkie Personalities - Drebom



Pinkie Pie isn't alone in her head- she has multiple personalities. The three of them have kept this fact secret for a very long time. Now, however, Twilight's overheard them arguing....

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Guards and Armbands

The days following Probe's breakout were tense, despite the generally positive outlook of those affected. Apart from a few relapses in Pinkie's mood, everything was surprisingly cheerful. The Cakes were rather perturbed by royal guards suddenly setting up the spare room as a miniature outpost of sorts, especially when they heard why Pinkie suddenly needed said protection. Namely, that a revenge-driven unicorn was likely headed her way. They had not yet been informed about Pinkie's 'headmates', but were nevertheless now fully aware of the danger posed by Pinkie's old psychologist. Of course, this didn't mean that they opposed the measures- if anything, they were glad that Pinkie was being protected.

The patrolling royal guards quickly became a common sight around Ponyville, and of course everyone wanted to know why they were there. Twilight, in a public announcement, gave the same, slightly edited story as the Cakes had been given, and the townspeople as a whole had immediately pledged their support. Some had even volunteered to help out the guards as additional units. Pinkie was literally a friend to everyone, and friends stand by one another in times of trouble. Soon after the announcement, the first wanted posters were going up, depicting the scowling stallion for all to see. The news coverage was also decent- although certain details were being kept under wraps, before long everyone in Equestria was going to have heard of the breakout.

There were around 30 Canterlot guards in Ponyville, who were split into three squads, each with its own leading officer. The whole group was overseen by lieutenant Swift Strike. Lieutenant Strike was a unicorn, with a dark brown coat and black mane. His cutie mark was of two crossed, silver spears. A lighter grey outline gave the impression that they were either shining or glowing brightly. Like most guards, he almost never seemed to remove his armor, the one notable exception being at Pinkie's 'Welcome to Ponyville' party, a joint celebration for each guard that had come to the town. The party pony had insisted that he 'relax for a bit and enjoy the party'. Much to the surprise of those ponies and guards unfamiliar with him, he readily agreed. It was Twilight's belief that this mindset, which was so compatible with Pinkie's, was one of the reasons Celestia had chosen him to lead the Ponyville squad.

In Canterlot, Lieutenant Strike had perhaps one of the best reputations in the Royal Guard, but rumors and gossip about his exploits had long since rendered him a tough, no-nonsense military stallion in the eyes of many. Granted, he acted in such a mind-set when in combat situations, but in more relaxed circumstances he was actually fairly laid back. He was well known for his skill with a spear, even being able to conjure and fight an enemy with multiple so-called 'mage spears'.

Mage spears were magical constructs, magic-formed weaponry similar to shields in composition. A single construct was fairly easy to create, requiring a similar magic output to the basic shield spell. The upsides of using them included the fact that while a regular spear was static in shape, a mage spear could be reformed and shaped to adapt to changing battle conditions. Plus, an enemy couldn't steal it and use it themselves. Despite this, most guards preferred to use weapons of wood or steel, physical objects that simply didn't take as much effort to wield. However, the more one tried to create at once, the more divided their attention had to be to keep them stable and wield them. An unstable construct could shatter, or simply dissipate. Also, multiple constructs were typically created with magic split between them, giving them less strength individually. And, like shields, they required a constant supply of magic. As such, they were taxing to use in long, drawn out battles.

During the Changeling siege of Canterlot, Swift Strike successfully helped defend an orphanage by wielding TEN simultaneously.

Currently, he was using his impressive magical skills to deliver sweet treats to various tables in Sugarcube Corner, along with corporal Quick Shot, a pegasus who was skilled in archery. The pair were currently on duty as Pinkie's personal guard, a position that was on rotation between them and Corporals Brute Force and Iron Hammer, who were both Earth ponies. They were also currently in the dark as to the true nature of Probe's grudge, as were the other guards, although the four did know that something was being kept from them. Princess Celestia had simply said that it wasn't up to her to disclose that piece of information. As a result, they knew only that Pinkie had once been in psychiatric care, and that her treatment somehow resulted in the arrest of one of the doctors.

Working in the bakery, the two military stallions were in their armor, but had deactivated the disguising enchantments in an attempt to avoid completely intimidating the customers. How the personal guard had become waiters was not entirely clear. As far as they could make out, their charge had branded them a pair of 'super-frowny grumpy-pants', used barely understandable and high-speed chatter to somehow press-gang them into service, before finally giving them aprons and the orders for tables nine and twelve.

"I still don't see why we're doing this," grumbled Quick Shot as Swift Strike returned to the counter from taking an order. "We're meant to be guards, not waiters!" The pair were currently stationed behind the counter, every now and again leaving to take the order of a new customer.

"We were assigned to keep an eye on the Element of Laughter. As long as we do so, it doesn't matter what we are. And we did commandeer the spare room to set up surveillance. If you don't like it, try thinking of this as paying back the owners for allowing us to do so," replied Swift Strike, using his magic to pick up two plates of assorted muffins for table six.

"Easy for you to say- I bet you're actually enjoying this..." muttered Quick Shot.

"You know, I think that could count as being rude to a superior officer..." grinned Swift Strike.

"No, I was complaining to a childhood friend. It's only talking to a superior if I say 'sir' at the end," stated Quick Shot, now smirking. The two had indeed been friends since they were young colts, sharing a strong friendship which had easily survived the potential tensions of being different ranks in the guard. "Are you, though? Enjoying this, I mean."

Swift Strike rolled his eyes at the pegasus. "You got me," he said as he moved off to deliver the muffins to a pegasus and her unicorn daughter. "Makes a nice change from doing drills, you know?"

As he left, the bell above the shop door rung, announcing the entrance of a new customer. Quick Shot straightened up as he recognised the Element of Loyalty.

"Hiya Dashie!" called the pink pony at his side. Now, all guards were trained to remain steadfast in the face of danger and react calmly to surprise attacks. Unfortunately, this did not prevent Quick Shot from jumping in shock.


As she entered Sugarcube corner, Rainbow Dash was instantly greeted by Pinkie Pie (probably). Judging by the reaction of the guard next to Pinkie, she probably hadn't been there before Rainbow had opened the door. Sniggering slightly, she turned her focus to Pinkie, who was waving frantically at her. Rainbow frowned in confusion. For some reason, Pinkie was wearing a yellow armband around her right foreleg, the one she was waving with.

"Hey Pinkie! Say, what's with the armband?" she asked, trotting up to the counter. At this, Pinkie jumped over the counter and leant in close.

"It's to tell you who I am! And I'm Surprise!" she whispered, giggling slightly.

"Oh, I get it," said Rainbow as Surprise hopped back behind the counter. "This cause of what I said the other day at the farm?"

"Yup!" beamed Surprise. "A different colour armband each. Rarity made them for us!"

"Huh...So is she ok with...uh...you-know-what?" asked Rainbow, mindful of the guard's attentive ear.

Surprise shrugged, thinking back to the awkward exchange that had occurred. "I dunno. I think she's probably ok with you-know-what, at least if I'm talking about the same you-know-what that you are, which I'm pretty fairly sure that I am. Probably," she said nonchalantly, seemingly oblivious to the confusion it caused.

"Uh...great...?" said Rainbow. A moment of silence passed, during which the pegasus remembered why exactly she had visited the bakery to begin with. "So, er, could I have, like, something for the road? We're setting up a pretty heavy rainstorm for tonight, and it's going to take ages, so I need a snack."

"Sure thing! We've got everything in stock. Oh, except muffins. I think we've sold all of those, so we don't have everything in stock. Apart from muffins though, we've got all of the usual stuff," replied Surprise, looking for something suitable. After a few seconds she held up a couple of frosted cupcakes. "How about these? Do you like them? They were made fresh this morning!"

"Sure!" said Rainbow. "They look great. Thanks!" she smiled. Surprise boxed up the purchase whilst Rainbow dug out the required payment. "Thanks, S-Pinkie. Catch ya later!" said Rainbow, wincing slightly at the slip. Eyes darted to the nearby guard, only to find that he had moved to take care of a gesturing customer. Breathing a small sigh of relief, Rainbow headed towards the door.


As she flew towards the weather office, Rainbow Dash reflected on the recent change in her life. Strangely, the things that were the biggest problems were also somewhat subtle. For example, despite the revelation she still treated Pinkie the same as ever, and vice-versa. However, the multiple personalities had messed up her interactions with Pinkie in various ways. Whereas before, she always knew who she was talking to, she was now second-guessing herself. And although she tried to stop it getting to her, it was still frustrating. How many times now had she struck up a conversation, only to discover she wasn't talking to who she thought she was? Pinkie and Surprise had their differences, but it still took her a while to spot the cues. Unlike Twilight, who seemed to do it almost instantly. At least Pinkamena's mane went flat, but that wasn't always a comfort- it brought up some unsettling memories concerning Pinkie's 'episode' on her birthday. And then there was the niggling doubts- how many of her memories in truth featured Surprise, and not Pinkie? How many experiences did they truly share, and for how many had Pinkie been a mere spectator?

Still, she mused, it wasn't all bad. Ignoring the details, at the end of the day she had made two new friends. That was always a good thing. And those identification issues were hopefully over with, if the armband thing worked. All they had to worry about now was that psychotic monster of a stallion loose in the Everfree. And between the guards, the townsfolk and, well, the Everfree, he hopefully wouldn't be a threat for long.

Now, few things got Rainbow's blood boiling than a friend in danger. She was the Element of Loyalty, after all. So when she arrived at the office, and found that that the weather factory had gotten the order slightly wrong, she knew exactly what to do with the surplus thunderclouds. Sure, it may have been a little irresponsible to just shunt the extra clouds into the Everfree, but it wasn't like anyone was complaining. In fact, there had been a rather large cheer when they had sent off the small but potent storm off into the notorious forest.


Neuron Probe trudged through the Everfree forest. Every now and again, a strange call would emerge from the foliage. Ignoring them, he pressed on. Every now and again, a twinge of pain would run through his injured leg, now hastily bandaged with vines and a few large leaves. The feeling was dull now, though, and thus easier to ignore. The scorched patch of flank, on the other hoof, less so. Still, that was more recent. He growled in frustration. The cave had been the only decent shelter for what felt like miles. In retrospect, it was obvious it would be occupied.

That didn't mean the dragon had been any less of a shock, though.

Still, he had gotten away. And if the lack of dogs barking was any indication, his original pursuers had given up as well, at least for the moment, no doubt discouraged by the forest and it's inhabitants. The respite was, frankly, a relief. And shelter was thankfully not as big a concern as it could be- the sky, or at least what could be seen through the canopy, was clear. The chances of any sort of rain were nil, even if you consider the Everfree's erratic weather patterns. Without clouds, the worst that could occur was some wind.

As if on cue, the Ponyville weather team's 'present' arrived.

Author's Note:

It's finally here! Sorry this chapter's a bit on the short side, but I really couldn't fit anything else in properly. In any case, we've gotten a look at Rainbow's thoughts on the situation, met a few new characters, and checked in with Probe. Judging from previous comments, I'm sure you'll all be glad he's not exactly having a great time.

As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and feel free to leave some feedback in the comments.