.____________________________________________________________________________.
. and now here i stand .
. with the last obsidian lengths of the afterlife dissolving around me .
. i hear an audible hiss, and turn to see the boat crumbling in on itself .
. it's my raft and yet it isn't .
. only a few souls out of the nameless masses had ever mattered .
. and yet, in some way or another, they had all mattered .
. i had simply chosen to blink through a few of them .
. and now the lantern implodes, snuffing out the last shred of mystic light .
. i turn around and face where i knew the pond to be .
. in the bowels of oblivion, i can almost make it out .
. like a blacker-than-black circle staring back at me .
. it's the first thing that's scared me in eons .
. now we're talking .
. a breath sparks before me, then dissipates .
. i guide myself by the strobe, my hooves making ghostly echoes against the glassy surface .
. i'm no longer counting the steps i take .
. i'm no longer thinking of anything, only faces .
. the eyes and manes and muzzles of loved ones .
. with a final breath, the spark reflects my face as i bow to the pond water .
. and i see all of those colors dangling around me .
. flaring in the breeze as the final veil falls .
. then icy, icy water, numbing, soothing .
. coming apart .
. threads and ribbons and the spaces between laughter .
. good night, twilight, pinkie, applejack .
. soft and slow, like a lullaby .
. fluttershy, spike, rarity .
. curling up, drifting off, floating .
. i love you, guys. .
. black .
. i love... .
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Well...
This is something alright.
Here we go
What in fucking hell is this?
New story? I don't need sleep.
A short skirts story? Color me shocked and call me electricity!
...Beautiful.
Goddamn...
That was beautiful.
Well done, man.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3908497
I think it's more like a 'waiting room' of sorts.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3908510
Yeah, but why? I mean... iunno, maybe I just read too much into it, or maybe my own vision of the afterlife prevents me from seeing it, but... why? Why not just snuff out? I know, I know, "for that one last moment of peace." Still, doesn't make much sense.
Bah. Twas a damn good read, at any rate.
It is interesting that you had the time marked out by the length of the lines of the chapters.
3908568
I had the exact opposite problem. Didn't read deep enough, I think.
Think of it more along the lines of purgatory.
That and you're remark about closing remarks/last bit of piece is the most likely just from how it read.
And hell yes it was impressive.
~Skeeter The Lurker
It's been said before, but I'll say it again; this was beautiful. I'm glad I picked this as my first SS&E story, and I can't wait to read more.
3908584
Right, but I have this problem, where I can;t shut my brain up. I always look at the bigger picture. Why was this system put into place? What point does it serve? Why does he always knock away the other souls? I know, it's Dash, but I mean before her, Charon, the real one. If they just all wink out into nothing, then why construct this elaborate afterlife waiting room for... nothing?
Nice.
Very, very well done.
3908596
They don't, if I read it right.
They simply move on into the next plane.
I could be horribly wrong, though.
~Skeeter The Lurker
O___O
Great as always.
... You know, it's kinda like reading E.E. Cummings. Also, I love how the style just makes everything echo.
Your life is over -- you will be squelched -- take a number.
3908604
He always talks about sleep, and oblivion, which to my eyes means nothing. Also, Applejack pretty much said that there is nothing, and she will never see her family again. A bit overly-nihilistic for my tastes, but eh...
3908620
That's true. She DOES say that buuuut...
I dunno... I'd like to think they simply moved on to better things.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Does this story remind anyone else of Hell Girl? If anyone even knows what that is.
Same kind of of deal, except the main character takes the souls on a ferry ride to purgatory o.O
3908633
I said this on Skype, but I think it bears repeating: this whole set-up makes me feel like the afterlife is run by the US Military:
"Why is this ferry in place?"
"Well, we need some way of getting the dead across the river."
"Why is there a river?"
"To separate the lake from the dead."
"Why do we separate the dead from the lake?"
"So they can ride the ferry."
*blink*
*blink*
"I don't think you're grasping this."
I honestly believe that a true sign of the Apocalypse would be if SS&E ever wrote a story which didn't end bitter sweet or with at least some form of death from one or more of the 6.
It might have been better thematically if they had crossed the threshold together -- but then again Dash being who she is wouldn't consider it a win unless she went after the immortals.
3908653
Hah, certainly seems that way, don't it?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3908620
You're assuming this was purposely created, and is not a function beyond purpose.
Aside from that, though 'Charon' refers to it as 'oblivion', Twilight claims to know more than any other about the afterlife, and she refers to where they're all going as a 'slumber', and has hope for a future of some sort. I suppose my favored 'purposeful' interpretation would be that this is all that can pass from one heat-death frozen universe to the next. Even though they may be like a drop of wine in an ocean, if those that have passed can flavor a future reality, then it isn't so 'pointless'.
Oh look I've gone cross-eyed.
Very nice atmosphere. Such an engrossing read. Good job.
3908568 I think you are underestimating the value of "that one last moment of peace." For people who have lived life in constant struggle or those die with grief, sorrow, regrets in their hearts, being given the chance to experience one last moment of peace would most likely be a great gift. Well, what's the point of even that if they're just going to unravel into oblivion?
Perhaps this isn't as bleak as it appears.
3908734
A great gift... for what? Sounds to me like Rarity and AJ had peace when they died, so why go through it again? And even for someone like Fluttershy, who died in pain, what does it matter if there's nothing after?
Holy moly, Skirts, I haven't read anything quite so haunting since CiG's "Garden of Good and Evil."
But where's Rainbow Dash, I'd like to know? Did I miss something?
edit: ...
3908815 I'd go reread Chapter 6, you got this!
Wow, I must be really slow.
I just realized the chapter titles were a timeline of sorts. Either that or im looking way to far into things
._. I thought it was a face.
3908868
Oh that's neat if its true. I mean it fits and stuff as well as adds a something different becides names for them
~Reggie
Oh shit, I completely forgot about Dash until I looked at the character tags again. I was completely ignorant to who 'he' was.
Good judge of character, huh? Looks like nobody else had enough character to matter, and those that did, "Charon" already knew.
3908815 I do believe that 'Charon' is actually Rainbow Dash...
I mean, I'm just sayin'
Amazing. Love it. And for once, under 10K
A writing exercise
An Administrator sits Outside, watching the last light waver and die. It waits for a moment, glancing at the hundreds of other lights around it. It sighs and steps forward, grasping the crumbling, lifeless orb before it dissipated forever. "Everything is a cycle. You have seen the end. It is time for you to experience a new beginning."
It pulls out a small pack of matchsticks, worn and encrusted with snow. A strike, and a two of them light, illuminating tattered rags and the icicles that clung to them.
The broken lantern sparked. Then, it lights once more, for another eternity. It clutched the young orb to its breast, giving it a kiss, then let it go, floating back into orbit. The Little Match Girl smiled, and blew out her own match.
This reminds me, I wonder what happened to that story about the human necromancer turned alicorn colt named Charon. That was a pretty good fanfic.
Anyway, enjoyable story, even if it left me a little melancholy. I suppose somebody had to write some sad stories to balance out all the happy on Fimfiction.
Whoa, weird, I was JUST writing a fic related to Charon, though not so similar settings. Kind miffed about that truthfully, but eh, no biggy. Excellent story by the way.
._.? More like ;_;
But I'm quite enjoying imagining possible outcomes. Everything from quite literally nothing, to a new universe entirely. Each possibility has potential, and meaning. I'll admit, I'd choose the happy outcomes any day! But the sad ones still... Teach me I guess. And that's fine, too.
The only thing really capable of terrifying me on a deep, to-the-core level is the concept of eternity. Thank you, you bastard.
What...the...fuck
Wow...that was a really good read. An amazing one, even. I salute you.
There are two story's on fimfiction that made me Cry one is the obvious EOP, the other was by Ragingsemi it was Called Our Last Goodby. But I will say this one got close to that emotional level.
Bravissimo. A masterful work.
I really wish you would stop writing things like this, because I always end up reading them in public places, and then I have to try and explain why I'm crying my eyes out.
3909133
Yet the concept of true Finity is just as terrifying, as it means you'll eventually run into Nothing at the border.
I really enjoyed this fic and the way it progresses. I figured out who the ferrypony was during Applejack's, even though I had suspicions during Rarity when there seemed to be an extra death. You also used the term awesome in one of the responses. I then considered who would wait for eternity? We talked about virtues and only one answer came. I kept thinking about that character's chapter and what it would be about and bam the answer lay before me. I also liked the idea of timeline with the length of the chapter title. I figured that out on the description and was just trying to figure out what happened in each of the chapters. :)
This looks odd.
And from the comments I read briefly, this seems like it's gonna be a bad one.
Not bad as in it's a bad story, but bad as in how you'll feel after or while reading.
Cant stand the format, holy shit. At the very least use proper grammar.