I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues
For every two steps they took forward, the next sneeze knocked them ten paces back. And the sneezes were always in unison, much to the chagrin of the two completely blue ponies. More annoying, however, was that they seemed unable to leave one another’s company. Every time Applejack tried to head towards Sweet Apple Acres or Rarity tried to head towards her boutique, they found themselves sneezing right back towards one another.
“I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I suspect this is no ordinary flu.”
“Discord’s involved, sugarcube. Ain’t nothin’ he does that’s ordinary.”
“Very true. And as such, I would advise you that until we know precisely what we’re dealing with, you should not run the risk of infecting your entire family.”
“And where am I s’pposed t’ go instead?”
“As much as it pains me to suggest this, you can stay with me for the time being.”
Applejack cringed, a look the unicorn mirrored. “You remember the last time we tried to stay under one roof together?”
“Of course. We ruined Twilight’s first slumber party. I think we’re both more mature than we were on that particular day. At the very least, we should be able to make do for a few days without killing one another. I have a guest bedroom, though you’ll have to forgive the décor. Against my better judgment I let Sweetie Belle decorate it as she’s the one who uses it more often than not.”
With a little skill and a lot of luck, they managed to sneeze their way to Carousel Boutique. Rarity’s horn glowed blue and she levitated the various equinequins into the changing rooms, and then levitated a couch and a pair of recliners up from the basement to take their place in the boutique’s main room.
“Do make yourself at home while I peruse the medical tomes in my possession. Give me a few minutes to consult them and hopefully we'll soon see what cures the blue flu.” Applejack flopped onto one of the easy chairs while Rarity flipped through the various books with no results. “How completely unsurprising. There’s no mention of the blue flu anywhere in any of these books.”
“So he made the whole thing up?”
“It would appear so. Which means we’re likely at his mercy as to when this wears off. Unless Twilight knows a counterspell.”
“But we promised we would give her some space while Cadence is visiting her.”
“And we shall honor our word. We’ll wait a few days, suffering from whatever it is that Discord has afflicted us with!” Rarity collapsed upon the sofa, foreleg covering her forehead. “We’ll just have to cope as best we can...”
Having run out of things to say, Applejack gazed out the window at Ponyville to watch the passing ponies. Much to her surprise she saw Pinkie Pie herding numerous red balloons towards Sugarcube Corner. “I didn’t see that,” she said, shaking her head.
“Didn’t see what, darling?”
“Pinkie Pie corralling some red balloons.”
“Ninety-nine of them to be exact!” Pinkie Pie had somehow appeared on the empty recliner when they weren’t looking.
“How did you get in here?” Rarity hovered a hoof over her heart.
“Door was open.”
“And what in tarnation do you need ninety-nine red balloons for?”
“For the totally contrived ‘80s pop culture gag of course!”
Rarity and Applejack looked at each other and blinked.
“Oh! I totally stopped by because I heard you had both caught Discord’s mysterious illness. I even made my special cream of cupcake soup! And since I see you’re both feeling a little blue, I’ve come to cheer you up!” She giggled at her joke.
“That’s really not necessary, darling. We just need some rest to feel better…” Rarity was interrupted by Pinkie Pie shoving a spoonful of what could best be described as melted cake batter ice cream and sprinkles into her mouth. She chewed a particularly large piece of confetti cupcake and swallowed. She had to admit, as crazy as it sounded, this was actually pretty tasty.
The bell above the door tinkled and Rainbow Dash stepped into the boutique. “Hey guys.”
“Well look who it is. The Element of Loyalty sure does know how to leave her friends hanging.” Applejack stuck her tongue out at the prismatic pegasus.
“Only when Discord’s involved. He. Took. My. Wings. And it freaks me out every time I see him to this day.”
“I’ll remind you that he took my horn as well.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“I’m just as apprehensive around him as you are, darling. That said, I’m glad you and Pinkie Pie are both here. Whatever this terrible illness that Discord has afflicted us with has simply drained all of my energy, and Applejack’s as well. Why, I simply lack the strength to even make it to the kitchen to get a glass of water.”
“No prob, Rares.” Rainbow Dash was so fast she returned with the requested beverage before her rainbow contrail had a chance to dissipate.
“My hero.”
“As always.” Rainbow Dash puffed out her chest and rubbed a hoof against it. “There was the time I caught you falling out of Cloudsdale, the time I caught you when Spike dropped you off that mountain, and the time I caught you when you fell out of the Wonderbolt Academy. Hay, maybe I should change my tag line from ‘I’ll never leave my friends hanging’ to ‘I’ll always catch my friends when they’re falling’. What do you think?”
“I think this water is absolutely thirst quenching.” Rarity exaggerated her sigh of contentment.
“Sugarcube, could I try some of that there cupcake soup?”
“Nope, nope, nope! I made you apple cinnamon soup!” Pinkie pulled a bowl of soup and a spoon from nowhere and started feeding Applejack. “Here comes the pegasus! Whee!”
“I think you’ve been spending a might too much time feeding the Cake twins.”
“My horn hurts.”
“Is there some sort of ointment for that?” Rainbow asked.
“No, darling. It means using magic is painful. And I so very much wanted to finish reading the book I started earlier. Why, I was right at the good part. The action was really starting to heat up.”
“Well, if it’s an action book I guess I could read it to you. I mean, hay, I figured it would be one of your mushy bitstore romance novels.” Rainbow Dash grabbed the book from the shelf and flipped it open to the page the bookmark indicated.
The muscular stallion grunted as he applied suntan lotion to Heart Throb. He caressed her flank, lovingly, as he rubbed the lotion in, tenderly.
“This isn’t action.”
“You are so charmingly naïve, Rainbow. It’s your best quality.”
“Oh! I should read to you while Dashie reads to Rarity! What would you like to hear?”
“Uh, is there anything on that there bookshelf that isn’t a romance novel, sugarcube?”
“There’s a dictionary.”
“That’ll do.”
“A fine selection, Applejack. Why, with some vocabulary building perhaps you might even make a tolerable conversationalist some day.”
“Oh yeah, Rarity? Why don’t you try defining ‘hard’ and ‘work’ for me.”
“When I feel better I shall demonstrate hard work for you the next time I’m in the zone.”
“Yeah, you get zoned once a month. I sweat doing hard manual labor every single day.”
“This is getting good!”
“Don’t you start with me, Dash. You spend what, ten seconds each day doing your job and the other seven hours, fifty-nine minutes, and fifty seconds napping?”
“Not my fault that I’m so super awesome I can do a full shift’s work in under a minute. I’m just that good.”
Applejack coughed. “I’d continue debating that, but this has taken a lot out of me. I reckon I could use a drink of apple juice.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Seconds later the farmer was enjoying a refreshing glass of her favorite beverage.
"I need to use the little filly's room. Carry me."
"I sure could go for some apple fritters right about now."
"More pillows to prop my hooves upon!"
Hours later Twilight Sparkle threw the door open and entered Carousel Boutique. She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her. Rainbow Dash, dressed in a Prench maid outfit, was serenading Rarity with the Chord N. Lightfoot classic If You Could Read My Mind. Pinkie Pie, on the other hoof, was covered in white face paint, and miming for Applejack.
“Just like a paperback novel, the kind the drugstore sells. When you reach the part where the heartaches come the hero would be me...”
“Did I miss something?”
All eyes in the room turned to Twilight Sparkle.
“After giving Cadence and I the runaround for most of the day, Discord finally admitted what he did to the two of you. More importantly, he also gave me the cure.” Her horn lit up and crackles of purple arcane energy lit up Carousel Boutique like Pinkie Pie’s annual mid-summer fireworks extravaganza. “There’s no such thing as the blue flu – he was just spreading some chaos as normal, making you torment everypony around you.”
Rainbow Dash glared at Rarity. “All of this was…a prank?”
“It would appear so. And it would also appear that Ponyville’s top two pranksters fell for it hook, line, and sinker.”
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie looked at one another and then to the ground.
“However,” Rarity continued, “Your efforts today have been truly appreciated. Pinkie, your cupcake soup was absolutely delicious and Rainbow, darling, your water delivery is truly awesome. Also, you look rather fetching in that getup.”
“I reckon we owe you both an apology. We may not have been in our right minds, but you showed that you’re both true friends today. Thank you.”
“It was nothing! The important thing is that you’re both feeling better now!” Pinkie Pie bounced over to Rarity and Applejack and pulled them into a group hug. She stretched her forelegs and pulled Rainbow Dash and Twilight into it as well.
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I don't want to spoil, so I'll cut it short. I really like it! I'm glad I read this, thank you!
I laughed, so hard.
OGAWD FANART PLZ ... *ahem* ... sorry.
I like this a lot! Character personalities feel spot on. You deserve a fave, good sir.
Y'know, I was wondering what happened to AJ and Rarity after Discord got them sick. And my, what a humorous take this was. It felt kinda rushed towards the end (like we could've seen more of Applejack and Rarity making demands of Pinkie and Rainbow Dash), but otherwise, it was highly entertaining. Good job.
Also, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like that recipe for cream of cupcake soup, please.
Uh, does Pinkie know how that song ended? I hope Equestria isn't involved in any kind of Cold War.
3874748
I agree about it being rushed towards the end. I wasn't overly happy with this one as a result, but I wrote it for the EqD writers training grounds and I did the best I could with the time limit I had. Life (that annoying thing between periods of ponies) got in the way this past week.
I checked with a friend who's a much better cook than myself and her thoughts were as follows:
ice cream, cupcake pieces (I recommend confetti cupcakes, personally), sprinkles
The ice cream should be melted, served similar to a vichyssoise as opposed to a traditional hot soup.
And a plug to her site: http://www.sweetnsavoryeats.com/
3874652
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
3873823
You're welcome, and thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed. Thank you for the watch, as well!
3875190
But no, there's no Cold War in Equestria. She just pops in and visits behind the fourth wall sometimes. 
Yes, Pinkie knows how it ends.
3876516 Wait, cream of cupcake soup is an actual thing and not just Pinkie being Pinkie?!
...
That is awesome!
3876627
As far as I know I invented it for this fic (thinking as best I can like Pinkie). But I admit, I was curious so I asked my friend how feasible such a thing was. And I quote:
Me: i think you know enough about the current MLP to know that Pinkie Pie is insane, yes? in a perpetual sugar rush
Her: yeah
Me: her newest culinary concoction?
Her: ?
Me: cream of cupcake soup
Her: ok
Me: thats my idea anyways. how horrible would said soup taste? were it to be made in reality
Her: depends what you made it with. cream of anything soup just means it's made with a cream base instead of a stock base. cream is the base of ice cream
Her: so maybe like a cake batter ice cream thats melted?
Me: that sounds delicious
Her: maybe a vichyssoise instead of a hot soup
I admit, I'm lazy about punctuation and grammar in AIM chats.
We both also thought that ColdStone's cake batter ice cream would probably be the best place to start. If you give this a try, let me know! I'd be curious to see how good it is! I'd try it but there's no local Coldstone Creamery.
3877093 Heh, alright. I'll be sure to do that.
“Well, if it’s an action book I guess I could read it to you. I mean, hay, I figured it would be one of your mushy bitstore romance novels.”
Forgot to have Rarity point at the proper book.
Nice lamp shading on RD retreating.
“Uh, is there anything on that there bookshelf that isn’t a romance novel, sugarcube?”
“There’s a dictionary.”
“That’ll do.”
0-0
“Oh yeah, Rarity? Why don’t you try defining ‘hard’ and ‘work’ for me.”
Maybe AJ needs to be reminded what it was like to run herself ragged trying to sew dresses.
“Just like a paperback novel, the kind the drugstore sells. When you reach the part where the heartaches come the hero would be me...”
????
“After giving Cadence and I the runaround for most of the day, Discord finally admitted what he did to the two of you.
Thought he admitted that at the start of the episode.
Story could have been longer, with AJ and Rarity slowly driving RD and Pinkie out of their heads, but meh, it was fun.
Even though it's been 6 years, I kind of want this to get a light sequel where Dash and Pinkie get some light, harmless payback on their friends for some of the more ridiculous demands they made while under the influence.
10527485
Considering Pinkie and Dash are Ponyville's top pranksters, I'm pretty sure they're both well ahead in total number of pranks pulled.
That said, I have another story that involves them pranking their friends (and other townsponies). It's not a sequel, but hopefully it'll do: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/91142/hard-to-say-im-sorry
10527521
Eh true, but I feel like Dash would at least prank Rarity, if for no other reason than to soothe her ego after having been forced to wear a maid outfit. (though at least not that many ponies actually saw her in it)