You know Rainbow Dash. She loves flying with the Wonderbolts. So what if she hadn't faked an injury when they offered her a spot on the relay team? What if she had taken the offer? What would have happened?
I had this idea while watching "Rainbow Falls". I think it was when 'Shy said that it was okay if Dash wanted to be on the winning team. I thought, "well, why not?" And when it turned out not to work for the WTG prompt, I was left needing to write two stories this week. Something which apparently takes approximately forever.
If this fails to be a good story, I'm sorry; this was a brief exploration of possibility first, and a story second. But I have hope that it can be both. (And remember, I can't know what you think unless you tell me.)
Chapters (1)
I like it, I think this was a better endign than the original.
This is how rainbow Dash looks now!
Love it!
I think the idea has real merit, but the ending felt incredibly rushed to me, as well as kind of a bad moral. I mean, Rainbow's angry that Spitfire lied, but she's okay with the fact that Spitfire is bribing people to lie so that she has a chance to compete with her friends? Yeah, no. Sorry.
Good idea, but the ending needs work.
3848379 She's not angry that Spitfire lied, she's angry how and why Spitfire lied. This is Dashie we're talking here; a fine pony, but not the most honest (though admittedly, the most tactless) of the Mane Six.
3848792 If you say so.
What is this "WTG prompt" that you speak of?
3850033 This. The Equestria Daily Writer's Training Grounds, a weekly event to lure the innocent (such as myself) into the pit of horrors that is fanfiction writing.
And an open question to any who care to answer: Coli Chibi saw Dash as being angry about being lied to, and then inexplicably okay with a bit of lying to get back in line with the episode. I intended Dash to be angry that she was tricked into abandoning her friends, and angry that Soarin' was abandoned, and quite normally apathetic as to whether the rules were followed to the letter. What did you see? I would love to know how well I convey things I do not explicitly state.
Wow, that dream . . . sometimes I forget how heavy-handed I can be (not that I was any subtler with the dreams in "The Hunter's Story," more recently). Even when I set out without a message, I still stop to whack the reader over the head with it.
But it's enough in the past that the flaws are endearing to me. It's kind of cute.
I'm with Coli in that this story's ending felt extremely rushed, too wrapped tight with a 'no hard feelings' feel.