The problem with using colt as a synonym for man is that you have no synonym for boy. Stallion actually works better because the vast majority of fics use stallion for man and colt for boy. Not using it really throws one's immersion off.
5051369 That's a quirk of mine I'm still getting over. In my head, stallion conjures a totally different picture from most of my male characters, so I defaulted to colt. I'll probably switch to what you suggested. Thanks for your perspective!
5051670 I took a risk with this chapter because I wanted the narrative to reflect how chaotic the scenes are. Might have been too much, I admit; thank you, too, for offering that.
5052744 Thanks for taking the time to answer. I also noticed that I only complained, I didn't actually talk about the fact that I really like the direction you've gone with the story and am following eagerly.
between the perspective changes. It wouldn't detract from the chaos of the scenes playing out, and it would help the reader not get confused when the narrative starts talking about someone that wasn't even there a second ago. I do like the chaotic "everything's screwed" flavor of this chapter, too. It makes me think of the ending of Pirates of the Caribbean 3; the scene with Beckett realizing he's lost and about to die, and just walking along his ship in shock as it's being blown up from around him by cannon fire. I liked that scene.
5064275 Thank you! It'll just get wilder from here, don't you worry.
5069586 Yeah, after tinkering with it a bit I think that's best. I wanted to use two blank lines for each break at first, but it seems FIMFiction's word editor won't allow it.
5073526 Get back below deck, Revy. We've got this under control.
The problem with using colt as a synonym for man is that you have no synonym for boy. Stallion actually works better because the vast majority of fics use stallion for man and colt for boy. Not using it really throws one's immersion off.
Just a little difficult to tell when it changes perspective/scenes. It does it quite often this chapter.
5051369 That's a quirk of mine I'm still getting over. In my head, stallion conjures a totally different picture from most of my male characters, so I defaulted to colt. I'll probably switch to what you suggested. Thanks for your perspective!
5051670 I took a risk with this chapter because I wanted the narrative to reflect how chaotic the scenes are. Might have been too much, I admit; thank you, too, for offering that.
5052744
If you edit it, I'll reread it to make sure I understood it. If you don't, I might reread it when you post the next chapter, anyways.
5052744
Thanks for taking the time to answer. I also noticed that I only complained, I didn't actually talk about the fact that I really like the direction you've gone with the story and am following eagerly.
5053643 Ha, thanks for that! I'm constantly trying to get over myself anyway, so it's fine.
5054300 No reference there. Needed a name, thought, "Yeltsin. Yeah, that's his name." But now that you mention it, I should have named him Wilhelm.
Could use some of these:
between the perspective changes. It wouldn't detract from the chaos of the scenes playing out, and it would help the reader not get confused when the narrative starts talking about someone that wasn't even there a second ago. I do like the chaotic "everything's screwed" flavor of this chapter, too. It makes me think of the ending of Pirates of the Caribbean 3; the scene with Beckett realizing he's lost and about to die, and just walking along his ship in shock as it's being blown up from around him by cannon fire. I liked that scene.
5064275 Thank you! It'll just get wilder from here, don't you worry.
5069586 Yeah, after tinkering with it a bit I think that's best. I wanted to use two blank lines for each break at first, but it seems FIMFiction's word editor won't allow it.
5073526 Get back below deck, Revy. We've got this under control.
Needs some sort of scene break, just add a few --- or ***** between scenes