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Out of the Blue

Rainbow Dash is watching the sunset when she happens upon a mysterious blue light streaking across the sky. Eager to investigate, she takes off after it. What she finds isn't what she expected, and what happens after leaves her a bit confused.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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DismantledAccount

DismantledAccount #1 · Jan 24th, 2014 · 1 · ·

Honestly, I don't know what I read. I know the random tag is on, but it seems that this is a bit too random for your intended purpose. Grammatically, you were fairly solid, but as for plot, you fell flat.

4.5/10

Next time, try to not use the random tag and come up with an actual story.

Cynderfall

Cynderfall #2 · Jan 24th, 2014 · 1 · ·

This could do with a second chapter exploring Rainbows confusion and worry over Luna and the events of that night. Otherwise I liked it. It was quick paced but it workes that way.

moribundbunny

moribundbunny #3 · Jan 25th, 2014 · · ·

3837430
I completely agree. This was actually for a WTG submission and the prompt was simply:

"What is it like to fly?

So that was the main focus of this bit. It's also the reason it entirely lacks a plot.
I thought about ending it with Dash waking up and realizing it had all been a dream, but it was hardly relevant.

Thanks for the comment though. Much appreciated.

moribundbunny