Spike is a monster hunter and one of the highest in the group he is a part of. However, his group is the only group in the world only dedicated to kill evil monsters. One day his mom gives him permission to go to bloodville.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Is Glinda an OC griffin?
Did you get my message. I corrected all the mistakes I saw on here too. Nothing was really changed.
3907665 no she is the one from the show
3907678 an edit is an edit no matter how small. If you don't want me to give you credit just say in the PM and I won't give you a lick of credit
3907736
What do you mean? I don't see any corrections of the edit that I sent you. When you sent it, I edited it and sent it back with corrected grammar. Did you get it?
Oh and her name is Gilda, not Glinda.
3909499 no. But it might come soon
3909549
I guess I could send it again.
The interactions between the characters feel... cheesy I guess. I mean both Rainbow Dash and Shining Armour attacked and tried to kill Spike then suddenly everything is okay and their friends? I mean, it feels so... sudden. I don't mean to call you a bad author but well... the interactions between the characters could really, really really REALLY use some work. I would re-write those areas.
3929215 we'll they were attcked by other monsters and monster hunters.
3929215 and Shinning and Dash are being freadnly they are not freands with Spike yet.
3929507
well, not we'll. We'll is short for we will.
3929514
They wouldn't be friendly then! They just tried to kill each other. At the very minimum have some awkwardness or for Shining Armour's case have him be more apologetic for trying to kill the adopted son of the Sun Goddess. I want to say something about Spike being to easy going to be a badass monster hunter trained to fight and kill since birth but that just might be Spike and his eternal optimism.
3930629 ok I'll do that. And do you want to be my co-auther?
3930726 Sorry I can't. I am already writing one mlp fim fan fic and three non-mlp fanfics and don't have the time. I could be a beta reader of sorts though.
3930745 Ok!
3930859 You used a ' between we and ll, making it an abbreviation for we will. Making your sentence mean "We will they were attacked by other monsters and monster hunters".
This is cringe worthy. Your spelling, grammar, punctuation, comprehension of the English language, writing skill, and general ability are appalling. First things first, you need to actually go over what you have written before you publish it. The amount of simple mistakes that I found which could have been fixed by a simple once over were cringe worthy. They're so numerous it feels like you put no effort into your writing. Second; show, don't tell. I've heard this so many times I thought it was a no brainier. You consistently give us little to no description of what the character it thinking, doing, or the scene around them. You offer us no description of the world, the characters actions, or what the character is thinking and it makes it very hard for the reader to imagine the world. You need to use descriptive writing to flesh out your world. Thirdly; your character's actions and reactions to/of Spike are double face-palm inducing. They remind me of how some authors write their self-insert Mary-Sue OC. It's simply not how normal, mentally healthy people act or react. The way Spike acts and how people respond to him is not how things would happen, it's what you wish what would happen to you! Spike just completely ignores common social decency and protocol and just goes around, acting like "the cool guy" who just goes around doing "awesome"/idiotic/illegal/rude/stupid/incomprehensible things but never gets punished, reprimed, or suffers the consequences of his actions. He just does whatever the fuck he wants and people just shrug and are okay with it. That's not how the real world works. To be honest I'm baffled at how well recieved this story actually is. Must be the naturally accepting nature of bronies. Anyway, back to the point, this is bad. Plain and simple. Now I don't know what age you are or your current abilities as a writer since this was published a while ago but if you're writing is still like this here's what you need to do; stop, go read a few well known, actually good books (The Lord of the Rings, Inheritance Cycle, The Chronicles of Narnia; to name a few) and actually pay attention the the way they are written, enroll in a writing class, and after a few years of improvement then continue this. As it is I would put this in the "stereotype of fanfiction" folder. Now despite all this I am going to force myself to continue reading this in the faint hope of some small sense of enjoyment.