and so...it begins.
Chapter 1
"Hey Honey? Have you seen my night dress?"Shouted Cadence while looking through her closet She doesn’t hear reply...Honey? Hon...Wait, its Friday. He’s at the club. Even on the eve of our honey moon he goes out to...party. “She sighs I really hope he’s not cheating on me. I best go find him. Oh there’s my night dress.'
"ARE YALL REDY TO DROP THIS BASS?! CAUSE IT TIME TO KICKIT UP A NOTCH!!!!" yelled vinyl scratch as she was getting ready for her latest gig. She decided to start with something new; faster, harder, better, stronger. 'Well time for my last gig as a free stallion before the honey moon. Waite is that... No, it couldn’t be!' "Looks like we gota guest here tonight folks, princess cadence is here to party! Let’s give her a show she will never forget."
Time passes
"Well folks! That it for tonight! Starting tomorrow I’m going on a 3 week vacation with my some of my friends. My new album, scratch that schist, will be released in a week and a half. Till them my friends! GOODNIGHT CANTERLOT!"'I’d better book it home double time to get back in shining armor status soon.'
"Well, I didn’t see shining at the club. That settles it. When he gets home he and I are having a long hard talk about loyalty. Hopefully he isn’t cheating on me." thought Cadence as she was walking home. "I wonder where vinyl will perform next. Maybe I could talk to Octavia. Oh well, one challenge at a time." she thought as she came home. When she walked in she noticed that there was a familiar pair of purple sunglasses where on her bed. Next to some headphones that looked eerily familiar. "Honey? Do we have guests?" she shouted.
"No!" shouted a voice that was familiar to her yet more of a mares voice, rather than the rugged voice of her husband. "I was just training!" 'Shining' voice was coming from the exercise room. Cadence starts to walk their only to be met with an unusual sight. Vinyl scratch dispelling a disguise spell and becoming shining armor. "Shining? Is that you?" whispered Cadence as she saw the spectacle unfolding before her. "So, now you know where I go every Friday night, huh? Well, I was going to tell you during the honeymoon but I guess now is the best time, I am vinyl scratch. I’ve been vinyl scratch since I was 15. She was the result of a failed spell that I tried to use to make me better at magic. I’ve been DJ'n ever since. That a good 7 years to make a name for myself, and to think I have two great names made out for me, a name as a guard, and a name as a DJ." shining sighed after this revelation, "I’ve always been true to me but she is the one the crowds want to see." he laughs at his own joke.
"Ok, let me get this straight, you are my husband Shining Armor and my music idol, Vinyl scratch?" shining nods "ok than. Who else knows." she inquired. "Only you Octavia and pinkie pie. I can only wonder how pinkie discovered my secret, but I’ve been her go to 'j for the past 3 years because of it. And Octie knows because I had to take her home after she tried to take a straight everfree at the club one night after her concert. That was hey to explain. But I managed. Still wish I had kept that bottle of 1980 cider. That would help this situation more than my explanation can. But having two famous people with one person is pretty cool, unless twilight finds out I had to learn illusions from Trixy for when I couldn’t make a gig because I had to go to the gig. “Shining replied as they went to their bed room. Shining put his glasses and 'phones in a draw of hammer space. So that’s where he keeps them so i wouldn’t find them. Cleaver. "Well then. That that. We continue this conversation in the morning." shining said to cadence. She just nods. "godnight honey." "Same to you, sweetie."
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You need an editor or two ...
Hmm...A Shining Armour is Vinyl fic. Has promise, not to mention original. And stories with promise cannot have bad Grammar in my opinion. Need an editor?
Wrote this before reading the story.
Jesus fucking Christ, you're actually illiterate.
Seriously, have you ever seen the English language in written form before?
piclair.com/data/o5t2z.jpg
SECREAT.
and seriously,no line breaks?
so little words?
Cool idea, toons of spelling errors though. Try using a spell checker, either in Word or in a browser like Chrome or Firefox.
For one, you should fix the title: "secreat" should be "secret", so the whole title should read "the secret life of shining armor"
You'll only get better with time. Consider this practice. So far it seems like everybody dislikes because of the grammar. But do try to improve it.
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Im typeing this on a tablet. Deal with it. I can but i can spell worth a crak. But i got potrie out the wa zoo.
I cant help whow i write. Its hard when the keypad takes the last letter presed without placing grammar in it. And the microphone to words dosent understand my way of speaking. And i get short tearm for what i say.
Like the idea a lot but I have to admit, it's time to find a new editor
3802492
3802492 my editor is my english teacher. She 65. And the human mind understands what someone types and makes the mental changes befor you relize it. Its hard to understand.
3802485 Never said anything than. But might I suggest that you write it on something with a keyboard? Might get a better first impression that way.
I was also complimenting you...
3802485 See, that might have had some effect if it was /at all/ legible.
You are literally illiterate.
The fact you're using a tablet does not have any bearing on the fact that you're an incompetent.
The only real problem I see is the grammar and structure. there were a lot of names that weren't capitalized when they should be and everything was kinda jumbled together, but the idea has potential. It would probably be a good idea to add detail, as well as seperated the different speakers into their own paragraphs, so that your audience can easily tell who is saying those lines. Welcome to FimFiction.net, and I wish you luck on the story.
3802485
I would like you to take a look at all of my stories. Look at the ratings. Read the words that are actually written in the stories. You see how they are legible and written correctly? Guess what? That is completely unedited. And I wrote it on my phone. Typing on something that isn't a computer is no excuse. A phone is much harder to type on than a tablet. But guess what? It's even easy to make mistakes on the computer. In fact, I just made three typos about three sentences ago. But it's not that hard to look back on what you wrote and fix it. That's what I just did. And now my reply is legible.
3802550 do you have sausage fingers with little to no control? Oh and if you do im sorry for the coment. But i have no spelling or littrary skill. I have the ideas but i dont have the abilities.
3802559
No, I don't have sausage fingers, but I do excessively sweat. It's actually worse because instead of pressing letters next to the one you want (which are easily spell checked by your tablet or phone), when I press a key, it presses something on the other side of the screen. I would like to see you try to type an "N" when what you get every time is a "Q". But it can be fixed. You can look over in whilst or after you type it. Half of the time the spell checking program on whatever device you have places a red line under whatever word is wrong. You even said that you did have an editor, though I doubt that is true when every other word is wrong. And half of those misspellings are common sense.
3802597 i dont have a spell cheak. I sweet the same amount as you. And i am not skiled.
3802668 there are thousands of free spell checkers online that's no excuse for spelling mistakes.
3802485
Yeah, it's your call. I like the concept quite a bit, so good job there.
3802668 See, here's the thing.
You're an incompetent, and you're lazy.
You don't have spellcheck, you don't have this, you don't have that.
What you DO have are excuses. It's everyone and everything's fault but yours. Blame the tablet, blame your software, blame whatever. The only one or thing at fault is you.
Know what would fix each and every issue you have here?
EFFORT.
You don't have spellcheck? Put the effort in to find out how to spell above a deer tick level of literacy.
You're using a tablet? Pay the slightest fucking bit of attention to what you're doing.
Your fingers are too big? There's this lovely little key called backspace. It lets you fix the mistakes you're too lazy to bother with.
Your problem isn't any of the things you've whined about in the comments, using as an explanation of why it's everyone's fault but yours.
The problem is that you're lazy, you're whiny, and you're not willing to try to fix it, opting to whine and expect everyone to treat you like that nice lady that the special ed office sends to follow you around all day at school and make sure you don't bite the other fifth graders.
Welcome to the real world, you little shit.
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i clestadamn fixed the issues on my computer just now. happy?
3803014 Apparently not, because you couldn't even go one sentence there without fucking up.
If you have no spelling or literacy skill, you should not write a story. You also shouldn't be writing one on a tablet, and if the effort it takes to write an acceptable story is too arduous or painful, there's a simple solution. Don't write a story.
P. S. I typed this on a PHONE
You know guys what I kind off find funny. When I first posted a story, I was immediately threatened that if I wouldn't change the structure that it would be removed.
And not to say that I didn't make mistakes, I did. Being dyslectic and having an non-verbal learning disorder but I at least got most of the spelling and grammar correct. Now 4 months later I see this story. It just makes me go "WTF is with this site?".
3803105 i understand. But i canot help how i am. I am trying to make it better.
I'm surprised this was even approved. I mean, not having a concept of proper writing rules is one thing, but completely failing at capitalizing almost anything? No.
3809193 What the fuck has this got to do with bad spelling???
Edit: 1D as in 1 direction??? Wow that post was the most off topic post Iv ever seen in my life
3811218 you put Iv. Its spelled Ive. And y8u insult me on spelling.
3811419 You're funny. If you want to get technical its actually I've, I missed I single letter in comment. You wrote a fic that seems to consist entirely of spelling mistakes and my point was You said you don't have a spell checker even though there are thousands of free spell checkers online.
P.s I think you meant. "You put Iv, Its spelled I've And you insult me on spelling."
I made one mistake, You made several mistakes pointing out my mistake so yea.
P.P.S I just noticed even the god damn title has spelling mistakes. Its a shame because the concept of the story is pretty original but all the mistakes that you are not willing to fix, will be its down fall.
What is with all the negativity? Whatever happened to constructive criticism? Pinkie would be very disappointed in you all.
So what if there are grammatical errors everywhere, spelling mistakes, and the chapters are a little short. This story is based on a good concept, and well written and correctly spelled are not synonyms. I thought our motto was "Love and Tolerate" not attack anyone who uses incorrect grammar. I for one like the story and will continue to read it, and remember you don't have to read any fanfics that you don't want to.
3818424 The problem is its full of errors that people are constructively pointing out and instead of fixing the problems hes just blaming things like having no skills and not having spell checker. People tried to be constructive but for some reason the "author" is unwilling to make any effort to actually fix them.
3818875 ok, this is true. But i trying to do better at least! Im typing it when im on the computer, so i am using spellcheak and asking my teaxher to cheak the grammar.
3818875 Yes I concede that the first couple of comments were constructive, but after that most comments were just blasting the author. And last time I checked, in real life it doesn't make someone want to become more industrious if you just yell at them a lot, it just makes them resentful and/or crushes their drive to do better. I'm glad we can talk about this like gentlemen and/or ladies about this without resorting to blasting on another.
3820596 thank you for commenting in such a way.
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3819354 If that's true why is there STILL spelling mistake in the title ...
3822166 Yea but It has nothing to do with mlp Im not willing to read something just because its bad. Its about 1 direction it defaults as bad. I was reading this because the story was interesting but it was ruined by errors.