"Celestia?"
I kicked free of her grasp and landed on the kitchen floor, stumbling backwards.
"Celestia."
I stared around wildly, "N-n-no? Y-y-you mean the Princess? W-w-where? What?" all the moisture seemed to have left my mouth.
"It is you, isn't it?" Ditzy stepped pointedly forward. Her gaze unfaltering, "Why do you look like that?"
"It's not... I have no idea what you mean..." I could taste the milkshake I drank earlier fighting its way up my throat. I swallowed the nausea. Still another hour of youth left. Just make some excuse and leave. It was a mistake to have come here.
"Don't lie to me!" Ditzy snapped. I'd never heard her angry before. I'd never even imagined it. It felt so... wrong, "Tell me the truth. That is you, isn't it?"
I couldn't shake my head. Neither could I nod. I was paralysed. Caught red-hooved. I should have known. Like mother like daughter. Dinky must have gotten her masterful skill at detecting deceptiveness from somewhere. Had Ditzy seen through me from the start?
"There isn't a pony in all of Equestria who smells the way that you do. I'd recognise that smell anywhere. It's not like anything else. What are you doing here?" Ditzy didn't raise her voice but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread, "Why are you disguised as a filly? Why were you hanging around my child? Why have you come into my house disguised as somepony else?"
"I..." I glanced at Dinky. She had a stunned kind of 'I-knew-there-was-something-suspicious-going-on-but-this!' look on her face.
There were no words. No excuses I could offer. I was hanging around your kid in hopes that I could use her to leverage my way into a relationship with you? Would I be better off not saying a word? Does she think I'm some kind of pervert? Oh please... oh please, no. Anything but that. I have to lie. I have to think of something convincing to weasel my way out of this.
"I know that it's you. I was just at the castle in Canterlot. I got back a few minutes ago. You weren't there, Did you use magic to make yourself look like that? Why?" Ditzy's voice was usually a little husky but this was a threatening tone I had not heard before.
Never get between an Ursa Major and her cub. Never mess with an Ursa Minor at all because if the mother discovers you near her baby... not even the gates of Tartarus could protect you from her wrath.
Say something. Say something! Anything! Think of an excuse! Something she'd believe. You're on a secret mission to protect Dinky from an evil spell. You're scouting for young unicorns with potential to join your magical academy for gifted young unicorns. You wanted to surprise her! You wanted to get an insider's perspective on the Equestrian School System to see if the teachers were up to snuff. Any excuse. Lie to her! Lie to her! Say something to salvage it!
I opened my mouth but the words refused to come. I'd lied in front of crowds of thousands. I'd lied to torturers, inquisitors, generals, ambassadors and scores of lovers over the course of two millennia. Why couldn't I lie now? Why can't I find the words to diffuse this? To fix it?
"I think you'd better leave. Now," I felt a wave of relief wash over me. Anything to get out of here. Just leave. Just let me leave. But... what about... us?
I didn't have long to contemplate this. Ditzy picked me up by the scruff of my neck and carried me briskly out the kitchen, through the living room and out the front door. Dropping me on the doorstep.
I peered fearfully over my shoulder at her. A scared little filly both inside and out.
"Tell me," said Ditzy, glaring down at me, "I've been delivering pamphlets and newspapers from Ponyville to you for the past two days. Did you order all that stuff to be delivered to the castle just because you wanted to lure me over to Canterlot?"
I paused for a long moment. Unable to raise my eyes to look at her. Eventually I nodded.
"So you would have had me fly all the way over there every day, interrupting my work and my delivery schedule, wasting hours of my time, making me get home late, even though you knew how easy it is for me to get lost in big cities, just because you felt like you wanted to see me?" she hissed. I felt guilt pierce me like a hundred arrows.
"I...I never meant to..." I am pathetic. I hate myself. So... so much.
"I'll cancel your subscriptions to the local paper and your requests for Mr Breezy's pamphlets then... since you didn't actually care about them to begin with," Ditzy turned and walked back inside, "I think it's better if we don't talk to each other again."
The door slammed in my face. She didn't even... look back.
I dragged myself to my hooves. I felt... gutted. I don't think I've ever been so ashamed. All my schemes unravelled around me.
The door creaked open again. I snapped rigidly upright as Dinky walked out.
"Hey, Princess? I forgot something important," she said, "I did promise that I would do this in my letter to you and I usually keep my promises."
She turned around and bucked me in the shin as hard as she could. Pain coursed through me. I'd forgotten that it was possible for me to feel pain in my youthful state. It was a welcome relief from the agony inside me, to be honest. I crumpled into a heap once more. Dinky hopped back up the steps, slipped into the cottage and slammed the door a second time.
I heard her say, "I told you she was a bad influence..." as she walked away from the door. The rest was too muffled to make out. Was Ditzy crying? I didn't wait around to find out.
Nothing else eventful happened to me during the long trudge back to the castle.
Nothing. Except that a bird defecated on my head as I walked back through the gates of Canterlot.
And now comes the inevitable scrambling to pick up the pieces......
...
Ouch. Celestia, you really had to set yourself up for that one, didn't you?
O.x....giiiirl ya dun buck with Ditzy and get away clean >.x
Well that didn't go well. Next plan!
Well shit.
3935045 Nyahahha, "shit" haha.
derp... derpity derp derp da derp
3935045 well.. as a wise pony once told me... shit happens!
Well... shit. Guess Celestia is going to have to look elsewhere.
Good
I...I....I think I'm gonna go cry in a corner now. I mean I know this was coming but still.
well that felt like a punch in the stomach... keep up good work
yours is the first version of Dinky I've ever disliked. She's a selfish brat
3935083
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I guess he got the shitty end of the deal.
My, Ditzy and Dinky sure are bitches. Off with their heads, please. Dinky most of all. Ill-mannered, badly raised little cunt.
3935319 ahh... She might hear you
3935327
Who, Dinky? Let her. I have no tolerance for ill-mannered brats who think that, just because they've had some hardships, they no longer need to obey social customs and basic manners. Same for Derpy, to some extent. Her behaviour has been wrong from the start. Being casual to Celestia and having no manners are not the same thing, despite what these two might think. Worst of all, we're supposed to feel they're in the right here, or that Celestia messed up. Maybe she did, but only in part.
Somepony needs to call out Ditzy and Dinky on their behaviour and put them in their place. I'd hope Luna would, but given how she's been in this story, likely not. Or maybe Celestia finally comes to her senses and reminds these two who raises the Sun every day and who does not. Casual is one thing, but there are limits. What Ditzy and Dinky are doing isn't being casual, it's abusing Celestia's desire to be treated normally to get away with being rude and ill-mannered towards their monarch. It could not be further from honest casualty even if they tried.
3935355 .... Bro bro bro... Calm the fuck down... Its a story.... Its not real. No matter what people think.... Its not real
Awwwwwwww I feel so bad for celestia she has been totally gutted from this.
3935365
I'm perfectly calm. There's a difference between giving criticism on the behaviour of characters in a story and not being calm.
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Yikes. I need a happy resolution NAO!
The deception, as well as Celestia's chances at being with Ditzy, is over. "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when on practices to deceive." There is nothing Celestia can do to salvage this. Her only hope is for somepony else to talk with Ditzy and Dinky on her behalf without her asking. And I can only see two ponies doing so.
3935319
Okay as we're talking about calling people (ponies) out on their behavior, let's talk about what you've written, especially since you're a real person rather than a character.
C**T and B****H are not acceptable words to use, these words are offensive! Especially the way you're using them and this story doesn't have a mature rating so your comments should reflect this. So I would appreciate it if you would edit your comment not to include them or any other inappropriate terms, because sexism and making people uncomfortable isn't magic.
I think if I have a problem with this chapter it's that it's, frankly, rather cliche.
I mean, the whole thing where in the romantic comedy there's some sort of big misunderstanding or one of them does something a little out of line and the two end up breaking up and it ends up turning into this "Oh no they aren't together anymore!" deal but you know they'll inevitably eventually get back together... it's a pretty damn common thing. One that shows up in almost every romantic comedy out there.
I like the story as a whole, I guess I'm just disappointed that it went this commonly treaded route as opposed to a more original one. Like, say, Derpy figuring out who she is and being okay with it. Or perhaps them starting to fight but managing to work it out in the same chapter. Or even start building up towards an ending where they DON'T get together because it turns out that DItzy is straight (a little bit bittersweet, but still original).
I dunno. I guess I'm just disappointed that it went this very commonly treaded, very cliche route with the whole shebang...
3935355
I agree.
3935741
Um...I...um... ...agree with them...
3936098
I'm sorry I don't understand? You think people should go around making remarks that make people uncomfortable? I'm not arguing with what Keeper of Jerico is saying, although I mostly disagree.
3936166
n-no...
First chapter I refuse to read whole, I can't stand the way they explode . Poor celestial and first time I find a dinky worthy of my hate. Waiting for next chapter.
if some chick you were potentially interested in dressed up as a child and followed your kid around how would you react. And no i dont care if she is their monarch, that shit is creepy as fuck and celestia needs to be held acountable regardless of how rude dinky and ditzy have been.
This tired old cliche?
I kinda agree with their reactions... But, I also feel sorry for Celestia.
oh crap you got me at the "the end" part poor derpy.
Pffffffffffffffffft...
Oh, by the way, this weekend; Not only will I do yet ANOTHER Brony reading of your story The Trixie Treatment, but I'll be reading chapter one of this as well.
You...are...an AMAZING WRITER!
3935117
Hehe, I get it.
3936589 Well, kicking Celestia would also qualify as crimen laese maiestati. In any real monarchy Dinky would be executed on the spot, child or not. I agree that Celestia's actions are punishable, but you can't deny that this behavior toward a ruler (and demigod) in unacceptable. Besides, absolute monarchies are built on the notion that everything, subjects included, belongs to the ruler.
Well, that was anticlimactic.
3966477 What he says is true. Sad, isn't it?
~ Neon Lights
Awww... wow... damn man...
*clicks next chapter*