Spike's Surprise

by furryman

Spike's Surpise

Twilight Sparkle looked at the calendar and noticed a very important date was quickly approaching.

“Looks like your 18th birthday is next week, Spike. Any plans?”

The dragon shrugged. “Not really.”

“You know you don’t have to work here if you don’t want to“

“I love working for you Twilight. Besides, it’s not like I have any marketable skills other than Librarian.”

It was true, Spike had never shown much interest in doing anything other than helping Twilight.

“You could always go to work for Rarity.” Twilight teased.

“She…she doesn’t want me hanging around all the time.” Spike replied, looking embarrassed.

Twilight wasn’t so sure about that, but she didn’t say anything.

“Birthday! Did someone say Birthday! Who? Who?”

Twilight and Spike jumped startled. As usual Pinky Pie had appeared out of nowhere. She was bouncing up and down quivering with excitement.

Knowing she was probably going to regret it, Twilight answered.

“Spike’s birthday is next Lunaday.”

“What? Why didn’t someone tell me sooner?” Pinkie Pie squealed. “I‘ve only got seven days to get ready.”

“I really don’t want to make a big deal out of this Pinkie.” Spike muttered.

“You’d sooner stop a tank than stop Pinkie from throwing a party.” Twilight replied smiling.

Even as Pinkie Pie wandered off in a daze they could hear her muttering under her breath.

“Invitations, balloons, cake, pie…”

Spike just sighed and rolled his eyes.

When Rarity received her invitation she was excited. Finally the day she’d been waiting for had arrived!

She knew exactly what she was going to give to him and she could barely wait. Her thoughts were so unladylike! But if she’d learned anything these past couple of years, it was that there were times it paid to be unladylike!

She thought about how she felt about the young dragon and felt herself growing warm.

Had it been only ten years since he’d first arrived? She’d been amused and flattered by his crush on her. Just thinking about what he looked like now made her grow even warmer. He was about six feet tall, nearly six inches taller than she was. He was quite muscular. His purple & light green skin appeared smooth, but she knew it was actually covered with fine scales. Triangular dark green plates grew from the top of his head down to the tip of his long serpentine tail. His looks had a certain exotic quality, which in her opinion made him quite erotic.

She couldn’t help feeling nervous too. After all, she was nearly ten years older than him. What if he was no longer attracted to older women?

Rarity studied herself in the mirror. Her slender lithe figure reassured her. Sometimes she wished her small, perfectly formed breasts were larger. But a rigorous workout regimen combined with a strict diet had paid off. She looked just as good now as she had ten years ago.

The day of the party arrived all too slowly for Rarity. As much as she usually enjoyed Pinky’s parties, this one seemed to drag on forever. All she could think about was her “present” for Spike.

Finally the last of the guests had left. She had deliberately lingered behind. Now they were alone. Looking carefully around and seeing that no one was paying attention to them she embraced Spike warmly, making sure to rub her breasts against his muscular body.

“I have a special present for you,” She whispered in his ear. “Meet me at my house in half an hour.”

Spike just stood there stunned as he watched her saunter off, swaying sexily.

A half an hour later Spike knocked on rarity’s door. To say he was nervous was an understatement. A vision of loveliness opened the door. Rarity stood there and posed seductively. The transparent negligee she wore left little to the imagination. Her white coat seemed to glow in the lamplight.

“Come in.” She said in a low sultry voice, as she gently drew the hesitant dragon inside.

Later as the cuddled together contented Rarity looked at Spike and said. “Do…do you love me?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

“You’re beautiful, glamorous, refined and talented.”

“So you like me because of the way I look.“ She laughed bitterly. “I guess I can’t blame you considering how I’ve done nothing but treat you like a slave!” Rarity shook her head ruefully. “Twilight claims I represent the element of generosity. But I’ve never once been generous to you!”

“You’re wrong, darling,” Spike replied. “You’ve invited me into your bed which is more than I ever dared hope for!. It’s like a dream come true!”

“But…” Spike put a finger on Rarity’s soft warm lips.

“Tell you what,” He said, smiling. “From this moment forward you’ll do things for me and I’ll do things for you.”

“I…I’d like that.”

Two weeks later Spike asked Rarity to marry him. She gladly accepted.

Much to everyone’s surprise nine months later they had twins, a boy and a girl.

Like their mother they were covered with hair, like their father they had long serpentine tails and triangular plates growing from their backs. Instead of a single horn, like a unicorn they each had two horns. Their large bat-like wings were covered with feathers.

The boy had snow white hair and purple plates, the girl had light green hair and dark green plates.

“Have you decided what to call them yet?” Spike asked as he peered fondly down at the two babies wriggling in their cradle.

“How about Elusive and Barb?” Rarity replied.

“Elusive?”

Seeing the puzzled look on Spike’s face Rarity giggled.

“You can name the next two.“

“N..next two?” He stuttered.

“Sure. I’d like to have some more, wouldn’t you?”

“Honey I’m the luckiest man alive!” he said kissing her.

“Darling, I’m the luckiest woman alive.”

THE END

Comments

[randomsurprise]

hmm... although, i don't normally lik one-shots givin t fact that they r too short for my taste ; i found this to be enjoyable read . If u hav anymoar plans for... anythin really then maybe i'll giv u a glance again later

[Rubakor]

Not a bad story but why was Rarity's hair/mane white instead of purple? Also, pregnancy in equines lasts 11 months, not 9.

[Bico]

Huh. Okay, I think the major thing that needs to be said about this is that most of it reads like a summary of a story and not an actual story. I understand wanting it to be a short one-shot, but you don't do that by trimming out all the actual descriptive stuff, you do it by focusing on one point in time. Also, I have to say the exchange between Spike and Rarity was really weird. So she suddenly accuses Spike of only liking her because she's hot and is upset with this (despite apparently not having a problem with this before) and then she's satisfied when he says oh, no it's because she's going to let him have sex with her. O... kay. I shouldn't even need to explain why that doesn't make sense.

[Gavinormous]

.......Awkward....

[DanvilleBengal]

Dude, where is that Anchorman "Well That escalated quickly" GIF when you need it?!

But in all seriousness, this thing was on lightspeed, and in this case, lightspeed is not good. There is little to no development, no suspense, nothing that really stands out. It's like this: Spike like Rarity, Rarity mentions that she likes Spike, tells him that she likes him, then almost it seems like a day later, marriage, kids, and the threat of more. Escalated quickly, indeed!! Slow it down!!

I understand that it's short, but I do believe that if you do desire to re-write it, you have to include more detail with it, and basically, make it longer and less chaotic.

Was this your first attempt? If that is the case, it's good for a first draft, but it's also obvious that it is your first one period. Kinda of a cherry-popping fic. Hopefully we can see more from you, and we can get to see what type of style you have. I do hope that you will take those suggestions and comments to heart and use them to improve your work.

[DanvilleBengal]

3754698

First one looks to be a little error in the context, probably looking for Rarity's white coat when the author put in white mane. Second thing is that it appears that since the characters are anthro, they are using human pregnancy of 9 months.

[furryman]

Actually I did think it was kind of rushed, but I'm afraid that sometimes I come up with ideas and have a hard time building a support structure. Any advice?
Also about the exchange between Rarity and Spike I was trying to come up with a plausible reason why these two characters should love each other. You think my idea was to unbelievable? Do you have a better idea?

[furryman]

Anyone interested in editing my next story? 'm not sure exactly how this works but I suppose you could post here and leave an e-mail if you want.

[Arby]

Such fast
So wow
Clap

[Geoice]