"Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding" (Albert Einstein)
A elite tau fire warrior is lost in equestria he must travel around to see these strange lands and try to cope with the environment and survive at all cost and help protect this peaceful land.
PS: this is my first story and i wanted to make a tau story for the site.
(i will need one or 2 editors if you can spare time i would really appreciate it)
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For the greater good!
Seems like a really good idea and a good start. But you really need an editor. A lot of errors all the way through and at the long conversations I simply lost track of who said what maybe also try to go a little more into details of what is happening and what the surroundings look like and so on. If you want I can offer my help with editing the story.
Have not seen a tau fic in here before. This is going to be good.
intresting... do continue...
try fleshing it out a bit more but otherwise carry on.
I have committed an heretical act by reading this for it has a xeno as the protagonist, and I should report myself to my office and receive my punishment, but, I shall not and wait until this is updated.
The Emperor Protects...
I had an idea about a Fire Warrior coming to Equestria. Never got around to writing it due to other ideas, but I'm glad to see that someone else thought to spread the Greater Good to the ponies.
Best of luck to you
Well, maybe i'llread it AFTER you went over it with an Editor, as of now i stopped reading after the first 2 Sentences, even though i really like the premise.
mfg Nordic
one word-
CAPITALIZATION!
Dat grammar...
Xeno in Equestria? HERESY!!
Hmm needs more bacon, but its interesting
You spelling and grammar are in need for some major improvement
One think the plasma minigun is called a burst cannon
but good start
okay this has potential considering a lack of Tau fics on this site. But might want to consider getting an editor.
In the name of the greater good find an editor. If you want, shoot me a PM and I'll do what I can.
Sorry I have played the game just haven't played it in a while and I will find a editor I have been busy and i wanted make a story like this I will fix all problems I can fix ok
2.bp.blogspot.com/-AUTIU2H2rtI/UeXRwTPn8wI/AAAAAAAACDU/AVdeN9EWmhU/s1600/commies%2Bsuck.jpeg
Good ideas but you need an editor. I also would change the necron lord's weapon from a staff of light to something more unique and maybe give him a unique name. Not only would it add character, it woulad also provide a better way for your sergeant to get to equestria than by getting killed (because that is getting old). What would work best would be some kind of glaive that opens short-lived warp rifts - maybe the sergeant sees it devour a few fire warriors before he is struck in turn.
Aside from spelling it is good. Maybe also describe a few background ponies. Him showing up would draw a crowd.
Might. Might. It's spelled might, not mite, might.
Aah, Kronus brings back memories of cramming the battlefield countless defense just to troll the enemy
, good times
.......
There are some spelling mistakes. On of them is
"We shale hold them back While the civilians escape"
However good idea for the story. I wish you luck on any other chapters
Lastly
FOR THE GREATER GOOD!
Nice idea But you really need to contact the wind caste and request a editor
Great story and i didn't see any mistakes with grammar and writing
This err here
Shas'O Kais is how you spell that... or possibly Shas'O'Kais... or if you really want to get fancy Shas'O T'au Kais~
Also he wares the XV22 suit not XV8 suit~
Oh and the Ethereal's name is Aun'El Shi'Or'es if you're wondering.
Other then that the pacing on this could use a little work and some editing but still the story has caught my attention and I'll go read the rest.
Welp... noticed a few major spelling errors and some lore error which really make me not want to continue sadly...
Co'ge Tau'va
No idea what Co'ge means... I'm guessing you made that word up which is fine. But Tau'va means 'The Greater good' so... I'm guessing he uttering some sort of curse word? Okay I'll buy that.
Gue'la is the Tau word for Humans, not for aliens in general.
I normally don't care about spelling but this isn't even spelling! This is just a number and a letter next to each other that sound like words.
There are numerous other minor spelling and grammar errors besides this.
There are a few things wrong with this sentence...
1. The Tau Fire Warrior's battle armor doesn't have an XV# designation as those are for 'battle suits' (i.e. their robot power armor) not regular armor... it's just called the Battle Armor.
2. Fire Warrior is what he is. The suits aren't called Fire Warrior Suits.
3. Even if you miss-labeled it as an XV03 battle suit you forgot the 'XV' which is an important destination.
Also you have a lot of completely random capitalization where there shouldn't be.
Based on all of this I have to guess that A. English isn't your native language. And B. You're new to the 40k setting. Both of which are fine, but that's just the vibe I'm getting.