• Member Since 24th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 25th, 2012

bud467


A short story writer I guess... I will need to adapt to pony characters....

T

An American tank crewman, named Corporal Jake Montel, was in the heat of battle when a grenade fell down the hatch and literally blew him into Equestria. Will the 26 year old make it back to his family? Or is he stuck?

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 46 )

Nice try and slow down a bit though.

Ahhhhh..

And here we see the rare Soviet Commander, basking in the glory of his pony loving environment.

But what is this? A new fic has appeared!

But what is THIS? A HIE, with a SOLDIER? BLOWN TO EQUESTRIA in a battle sequence?!?! WITH UNDOUBTED "I miss my family" ANGST?!?!?!

Cautiously The Commander makes his way to the new fic, determined not to judge based solely on an overused idea.......

Will The Commander like this? Will this fic be actually good despite his opinions? WILL THE MUFFINS BE SAVED?!!?!?! FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

662566
Your comment may have bummed this up on my read que. Lol:rainbowlaugh:

662628
*salute*

"Umm...Commander?"

"Hmm?"

"We have finally received the reports that show the American's defensive measures around their facilities."

"Has anyone else viewed these?"

"No one sir, we received orders to dispatch them directly to you, they can be activated as...*the officer checks the monitor of his computer* of.......now."

"Excellent! Eva?"

"Yes Commander?"

"Show us these so called "defensive measures".

........15%..............35%........60%............

The commander grew anxious as he imagined what the Americans could possibly be planning....

.......80%.........90%............100% Up-link Achieved


............"MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!!!!!"

To be continued....

662706 You have some of my favorite comments on the site.

and does this suffice for continued?

[youtube=p_oueK1OQYA]

More of this would be like... ASJDIHDG(S)DGY*TY(#@59u394tu.
Awesome so far, please, make more! :D
:rainbowlaugh::rainbowhuh::rainbowwild:

Good story, but it would help if you slowed things way down. It was great up until right after they find him in the forest, but then he just kind of appears in the hospital. It would've been neat to see what happened as they walked, or perhaps sneaked, him through Ponyville to the hospital or maybe to see the reaction of some of the other ponies in town, but he just kind of pops into the clinic instead.

Plus, it seems like some of the characters aren't paying a whole lot of attention. Ponies believe humans are a myth and here's one claiming that there's several billion off in this other place they probably haven't heard about, but we don't see a reaction from anyone. Then there's that bit where they're pulling shrapnel out of him and no one really seems curious as to how this creature came to get dozens of metal shards stuck in him. The part where they seem to just lose interest in the body armor bugs me as well. "What's that?" "Armor." then the conversation just ends.

That said, this is a really entertaining read and I'm totally looking forward to the next chapter.

Expect it to be a little slow as I update, I have finals in 4 days.

'The tank rocked as an RPG struck the side of the tank.'
you could leave off the last 3 words.
nice so far, but try to slow down a bit. tell us about the character or something.

663643 I tend to reveal about the character as the story goes on. That's my style, you can see it in my other story.663064 Just wait till the other chapter. Also, that was Montel telling that there was 7 billion humans. I'm working on making it easier to tell who's talking.

>>bud467 Actually, I knew it was Montel talking. Sorry, poor wording on my part.

awsome and way to go not saying clip i cant wait for the next chapter

you repeated the part where he is examining his weapons

672838 Thank You good sir! you deserve these: :moustache::moustache:

when i saw the picture of the turned over tank i fell out of my chair i was laughing so hard i probably looked like this:rainbowlaugh: then my mom woke up yelled at me for being loud and then i did this:facehoof:

678188 glad you enjoyed it!

hey dont mean to be rude but when will we get a new chapter i cant wait :scootangel:

678501 Check my blog. the post should answer some questions.

Good start, to a new arc of the story.

672735

As true as it can get good man.

Hey everyone! I have Exams next week so I will be trying to get out a chapter tomorrow after the first day of exams is over.

Exams are over. I'll try to have a chapter out tonight.

Sorry for that promise. I was rushed this entire week to clean. I'll see if I can't work on some tomorrow. No promises. No doubt the longest time I have spent without an update. I know how it feels. Also I encourage you to contact me on anything regarding the story.

No pony's?! This better be a dream or something like that.
Otherwise there would be no pony-interaction :raritydespair:

746975
Did you read the author's note before this chapter?

746975Like addicted said. there is colored text for a reason. I'll change it to red.

747094
Absolutely i just choose to reject those words and make my own.
So i can complain about stuff. :raritywink:

746975 The correct term would be
"No ponies*?

Hello everyone. I have been studying my butt off. I will attempt to take my netbook to breakfast and continue to write. I leave Wednesday. That is my deadline for a chapter.

Sorry for the sudden leave of absence. Almost done with my class!

got a laptop! I geuss we know what this means!. I can write on the run! my school schedule has been hectic. :ajsleepy:
forgive me.

924657

So halfway done with the new chapter. Expect a slower post rate since I have a larger work load.

“TWILIGHT!” Rainbow Dash burst through the door of the library. Twilight looked up from her book of spells. “What is it?” Dash was scared and excited. “There was a explosion in the Everfree forest!”

so THAT'S where Zecora's house went :rainbowwild:

Boy he did a good job at making the guards snap
Rainbow Dash had it hard enough, never knew we had such a big sense of humor... oh wait i did :rainbowwild:

She turned and saw the amount of guards behind me. "Either you did something bad, or you made a lot of friends." She laughed and I joined her. "New friends."

no i did sompin bad :p

Amanda's toy... Celestia picked it up with her aura. "What is this?" She studied it hard. "This is Twilight Sparkle!" I received a death stare from her. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY STUDENT?!" She approached me very fast.

um, um?...
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS!!!
*2 hours later*
Celestia: so were being secretly recorded and you Humans watch it
Me: told ya it was hard to explain

its so annoying, i'm trackin 7 great stories and they are all taking forever to update :pinkiesad2:
plz respond to when you might continue this story, i'm REALLY enjoying it right now

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