images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3630_medium.png

wat.

is all i can think now

................................... not the best clop i've ever read, there's hardly any reason behind it and it skipped a bit.

Eh

*jawdrop*

This story has progressed really fast so far. I like your concept, but it needs more description and more time for the story to develop. Thumbs up, but please slow the story down!

328379
I'm not a very good writer so whatever I put on this site is to try and improve myself, I never have been good at writing-specifically at having plots or detailing.
I used to be better at writing individual sex scenes but it's basically all just stick + hole or hole + hole = needs a stick.

328285
Sex need's a reason? okay, I'll try and be better later on but odd's are for this I'm going to continue to suck. I can't develop plots at all and when I write it means I have nothing better to do so I'm not focused at all.

328486 *twich* can i PLEEEEASE kill him?
sorry, but no, not even he deserves what you would do.
<what about me?>
also no.

Can you guys Imagine my delight to getting almost thirty notifications while I'm writing the next chapter of this? My other story has been up for a long time and as obviously awful as it is... (makes me sick to think of what I've tried to do to it) I expected at least negative comments. Nope, I got nothing in the few weeks it's been out.

Thanks for making me feel good guys.

328497
I do not understand you but I assume that was meant to hurt my feelings.

328500 no, the one in red is DJ Bl4ck0ut, the incarnation of insanity and cruelty. the one in <these> was ableben... i have no idea what he is, their 2 of my OC's, i have 13. most could kill you with a single attack... DJ could, he just prefers to cause as much pain as possible. the only one who COULDN'T kill you is Killkord, he's just a storywriter.

so i am VERY confusing to argue with, and there are more of me too

328518
I like insanity, it's the only thing that makes people interesting. Keep up the mental assaults there mate.

328545 i should mention, DJ has a Daughter. his brother is death and he's my uncle, Ableben is my brother.

The story's not bad, but the pacing needs a little work here. Take your time in building up the sex scenes and then deliver them.

328479

Okay, you can do whatever you want but I'd recommend finding an editor who could really transform this story. You can find some on this site. But, like I said, you can do whatever you want.

328574
Well if you're interested or know anyone that would be interested in making my pathetic attempts at amusing others not suck so bad than let me know. And I know that probably sounds pretty sarcastic but I don't mean it to be, I seriously hate my "work"

i like it funny concept.

I don't know, I liked it so far. But, i'm a Spike Twilight fan.

...Wat...
Ok...

This is good. Once RarityXSpike fans come and see the Rarity one it'll probably be read even more. This is just calling out to SpikeX(Insert pony here) fans.

Twilight gagged and coughed a little before looking up, Spike too looked at her, and they kissed each other ignoring the sweet flavor left in the pony's mouth.

........ Spike you nasty.

I'm confused. At the end of chapter 1, you said that one Spike looked normal. Yet, in this chapter, he's had a growth spurt. Did all the Spike's get aged up? If so, it needs to get mentioned at the end of chapter 1.

Twilight's eyes are NOT BLUE, they are Purple or lavender