What point is there in peace when everypony that you cared about's freedom has been taken away and made into slaves?-Rainbow Sparkle/Empress Darklight
Officially engaged, Rainbow and Twilight decide to create a filly from magic, which they named Rainbow Sparkle. to their surprise, she resembles both the two, but is an Alicorn. to make things worse, a group of cults known as The shadow of slavery, whom are the followers of sombra, have plans for the filly. what are their plans? Are they planning something bad? Will Rainbow Sparkle be able to defeat her dark side? Or will she fall victim to it and make all of Equestria slaves?
i liked the teaser
The first letter of the first word in a sentence is always capitalized.
you forgot an an apostrophe.
replace "and" with "or"
The first letter of the first word in a sentence is always capitalized.
You put an apostrophe where there was supposed to be a quotation mark.
3713832 Any more grammar or punctuation errors?
3720582
would make more sense than
are
capitalization error.
there's some more... maybe.
3723059 Thank you
You forgot an apostrophe. There is some that should be in between "basement" and "Rainbow"
Pick
bowl
they managed
there.
Referring to the author's note in chapter 2, I took the liberty of recreating rainbow sparkle the best I can according to the descriptions of her in chapter 1.
3780496 Nice
I will read this soon. Can't right now though, which sucks
I can't wait for the other chapters please hurry oh and what does "on hiatus" mean