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Short Story I: Starfury

When Starfury decides to steal a peak at a Wonderbolt training session, things don't seem to go on as planned...

An introduction to my method of writing, with a rather large story to come soon (not sure whether to release it over several chapters, or all at once.)

I might also release a few more short stories, so stay tuned!

*Note that you might see scenes of this combat either mentioned or used in my other works. Some of these ideas I really enjoyed.*

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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ARBPW

ARBPW #1 · Mar 14th, 2012 · · ·

Not bad. There's one grammar error I spotted throughout which was quite prevalent, it was ending dialogue with a period instead of a comma when you need to use one. Stealing an example from The Editor's Omnibus:

✔ "Hi there," the pink pony giggled. (She giggled while saying the words.)
✔ "Hi there." The pink pony giggled. (She said those words, then giggled.)
✔ "Hi there." The pink pony grinned. (The word 'grinned' isn't a 'speaking' verb.)
✔ "Hi there!" the pink pony shouted. (Exclamations and queries replace the comma.)
✖ "Hi there," the pink pony grinned. (It should be a period: ‘grinned’ isn’t a ‘speaking’ verb.)
✖ "Hi there." The pink pony said. (This should be a comma; no capitalization should be used)

Steampunk Starlight

Steampunk Starlight #2 · Mar 14th, 2012 · · ·

Interesting story.

Dragonchampion01

Dragonchampion01 #3 · Mar 14th, 2012 · · ·

322308

I never could make mane nor tails of that till now. Thanks, I'll go back and check through this and fix those mistakes, and that gives me plenty of corrections I need to do on my main story. Hah. (Seriously, I need an editor. )