• Member Since 21st Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen March 31st

MidnightFMare


I fear that nothing I see is real, so I write to make sense of it. I see things that can't exist yet I feel them breathing under my fingers. I will not forget this place nor the friends I've made. MFM

T
Source

Memories.

They make you who you are.

I don't have any from before I woke up.

But do my memories matter? Or are the ones I'll make more important?

I wonder...

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 83 )

Well, it makes slightly more sense than that Lyra story of yours, but you still don't explain stuff like what a TSAR is.

See, readers need to have certain things explained. You can't just go "Here's a thing. No, use your imagination, I won't tell you what it is". That's bad storytelling. Good storytelling is using your imagination to convey the concepts and ideas you have to the reader.

Are you writing on a phone or something? I hope you are because your computer should be catching at least half, if not all of the technical errors present in your writing.

3690243 \
i will explain what the TSAR is in the fourth chapter, which i am working on as well as the fifth.
and i do not work on a phone, nor do i own one.
i am using a new tablet with key board (i need a different key board) and because of my lack for technical skills, i have yet to figure out a way to effectivly type... at the moment and most of the time, i am using library computers which i am only allowed to use up to four or five hours. so not a whole lot of options, and i am trying my best with what i have.
i can maybe type up half a non-written chapter in an hour; possibly a whole one if i wrote it down... sorry for my lack of tech.

>>too lazy to capitalize anything
>>has the grammatical potential of a walnut

Seriously, just fucking try for once.

3807056 i am sorry, What is wrong with my capitalazation? i capitalize all the starts of sentences, speech, and everything!
and my grammer may be a bit old fashioned, but it is told in my IRL narrative style! i try so hard yet many dislike my work... meh, i try my hardest and few seem to want to be nice. and i don't know about walnuts and their grammer, but anything related to legumes and liverworts is cool in my book

3808398 thanks:twilightblush:, i just copy and pasted from translate and the only non-english language i know is a little german, and very little japanese:derpytongue2:

3812130

i am sorry, What is wrong with my capitalazation? i capitalize all the starts of sentences, speech, and everything!

I swear, my inner Grammar Nazi must be having a seizure.

3829367
What? Oh! Sorry, I was not aware that in comments and such propper grammer and some spelling was required and I apologize. And I one-up your grammar nazi with my GRAMMAR DALEK!:pinkiecrazy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!

3833679 Do you even know how to write a story? From what I've seen so far, it doesn't look like it.

3835249 well, it is made up as i go along and most of it isn't from my own mind i don't think...
i beleive that all the ideas come from the ether dimensions and possibly an alternate universe because of the word as reality theory that stipulates that any idea, no matter how small or shallow, is a dimension with it's own history and population, i wish to weave together all of these different veiw points into it's own universe... otherwise i get huge migrains from wherever it is the information comes from... and most times the transfer as i like to call it, in the form of a nose bleed or physical head trauma... i prefer the first... less pain and gives me something to eat for a few minutes... self vampirism and all that... and i am rambling... gotta stop that... meh, hope i got my point across

3839182 Just so you know, good grammar is also required.

I mean, I've read tons of books throughout my life. To be a good writer, one must read as well.

3846129 how does being heavily medicated:pinkiesad2: and kept in a room full of books from children's story time:scootangel: to medical textbooks:ajbemused: to classics:twilightsmile:, to eragon:twilightangry2:?
and have that for about 6 or 7 years of your life straight:pinkiecrazy:?
that describes my childhood pretty well... and manga... and duel monsters... but the books made up most of that time:trixieshiftright:

3690243

See, readers need to have certain things explained. You can't just go "Here's a thing. No, use your imagination, I won't tell you what it is". That's bad storytelling. Good storytelling is using your imagination to convey the concepts and ideas you have to the reader.

In that case, you might want to stay away from the Pony POV Series.

3849068 yes, well, i try and if someone doesn't like it, they should tell me, so that i may apologize and hope to do better, and especially not the wake up, see this, what do series

3849128 Why did you respond to my comment? I wasn't talking to you.

3849068
You mean that needlessly long alternate universe series that just won't end? From what I've read of, it doesn't really fit what I said in that quote. Unless the writing in recent chapters has taken an even bigger nosedive.

3849857 my story, so... like a game warden or something... anyways... i do like POV as a matter of fact, but i'm currantly trying to do one in that style at the moment

3851407 wait, do you mean alexwarloren's story? I've been trying to remember to read that

3854746 You mean you're not going to quantify, or not indicate who's talking? Because if you are then I can assure you that I'm not going to like that story very much.

3851407

Unless the writing in recent chapters has taken an even bigger nosedive.

Trust me, it has. By the way, what don't you like about it?

3861971
The length. Plus it just seems entirely uninteresting to me.

3855266
not at all, i will do it in this format:
(WARNING! SAMPLE!)
POV: Midnight
"Lyra," I call, hearing the refrigerator open "Stay out of the fridge!"
From the kitchen comes a dour looking mare with a head of cabbage on her back "What? I'm hungry and you can't make a salad"
"I don't eat vegetables, and if your making a salad, explain the bite taken out of it" I grab the vegetable off her head and stick it on her horn
"Stop sticking stuff on my head" she rolls onto her back and pries the offending food off with her hind legs.
like that
3861971
3862206 i have never readi t, so i can only base it off what i've read from others' stories, i honestly don't see cheerilee as the element of laughter or lyra of loyalty... and obviously ditzy is to be the element of magic and sincerity. enough said.

Wow, how original. A human transported to Equestria. Could you at least install a better description? I mean, it's so over-used and poor grammar isn't old school. I don't get it, how your comments have decent spelling and grammar. But your description is so chappy and sickly-written. What, are you throwing this stuff into a GoodWrite 9000?

4118852 One, sorry about the intro and my fluctuating gramatical skills, two, the intro is suposed read literally; as if the character is speaking to the readers. And I do not know what goodwrite 9000. I apologize, but most of my story maintainence does not pertain to the description.
I am terribly sorry. I will fix it post haste.

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You. I really like you. :pinkiesmile:

Upvote for being a trooper. I normally go through stories and make up silly reviews for authors that like to complain about comments, but you seem to be genuinely trying to improve and are very good-natured--more good-natured, in fact, than I am in the face of criticism. That is a wonderful gift. :moustache:

And you, good sir, have earned yourself a follow and perhaps future editor if my workload lessens whatsoever.

4233471 thanks! this is one of the nicest things anyone ever said about my work! :fluttercry:
I feel like pinkie in the smile song!:pinkiehappy:
Thank you so much!

4242759 I suppose it has to do with the rough launch in the beggining and the numerous errors in my early stages:applejackunsure:
But I stay positive, because for every bad comment, there will be two nice ones:pinkiesmile:
If anyone doesn't like my stories, I think that it is only fair to say why. If it is grammer or capitialization, I will fix it immediately. if it is the content, I will explain why it is there. Or because of all the Twibashing and Celstiabashing (making fun of those two)
If my stories are never read in my time, having put it out there is enough of a reward. Nice comments are a plus too.
I always upvote my own stories, to make myself feel better and to know that i beleive in myself... which I often forget to takew care of myself (Eheheh...:twilightblush:)

4243614 True that, my story Ace Combat: Divided Feelings was getting down votes but with the help of two editors Silver Blade and eggynack my story is now getting up votes, you could use their help.
P.S. Want to check it out my story?

Don't Post:
Stories in chat or script format. This includes stories in which characters speaking is indicated similar to this: "TWILIGHT: I sure do love books!"

1) How in the world did you get away with this rule?

2) No one cares about your DaAccount. This is a story, not Facebook.

3) Oh yeah, so original. A Human presses a cliché button and suddenly sent to a world. Yeah, your the first.

4) How, what, and why would you think we would just roll with the description? I don't know the subject of this story, I don't know what's happening, and NOTHING interesting is going on!! This is more boring than the time you had to go to a Parent-Teacher conference for the first.

5) At the end, I know what he was going to say: Oh, and whatever you do, don't let this boring story confuse you! You will get it at the end of the chapter.

That was just the description alone. Now, time to read the story.

1) Pointless button is pointless.

2) Don't replicate the Doctor. Their is only one time lord, don't even try.

3) Who is TSAR?

4) Pointless montages are pointless.

5) How does he know he's a pony? Did he not just yell at what happens with his arms? You...can't explain that.

6) Celestia does not act like that, for sure. She is royal, and she'll send you to the moon if you call her flank fat.

Next chaptah!!

Not gonna even continue. This story is confusing, this makes no sense, the characters personalities are out of wack, and your grammar, and lazy writing is pointless. I see you have potential, but care for you stories like it's your own child. Don't just confuse us please, thank you, and see ya later.

4546631 sorry, but that is the best i could come up with for this,
4546666 wrong, there is romana, the master (Dudududum!) and
she does act like that if you get on her bad side like discord does. the arms thing is mostly because of previous adventures where limbs changed... and he (I) had come to equestria before
4546679 okay, bye bye! have a nice night!

4770900
That's quite an... Aggressive comment, I personally like this story besides the addition of new elements.

4770900 ... join the club friend. the description, if you read the beginning said that it was a redone intro and changed from the original
and I get told that a lot but still, I do my best and that's all I can do
if you feel that this is not enough, then my apologies.

4773064 thank you! it is good to know that some like it... and that is enough to give me hope

4920097 i knew that someone would love it!
there aren't good show like that anymore

4925250
Yeah, it seems -to me- that it's nostalgia week, I keep stumbling onto things that remind me of stuff from my childhood. Ah the memories~

4944342 thanks, a kirin is defined as a dragon-pony hybrid and kuriboh is a monster card. .the dark tag is for the eventual build up of suspense as the characters delve into their hearts

2:1 dislike/like ratio and your continuing? Bravo man, bravo.:twilightsmile:

So... A curse that makes kissing painful and shipping very unlikely? Well, there goes my hopes of some light Luna shipping. Keep up the good work.

4960693 it is a curse. if Midnight's (my) body comes into contact with skin that has absorbed anything in the last week (Lotions, inks, paints, etc.) his (my) skin ignites, burning away to bone. this would kill most but it only hurts an immortal. The neck however is different, because it is burning the sousaphones (DAMN YOU AUTO-CORRECT:twilightangry2:!) esauphogous and other organs, it causes stomach acid to rise and burn the inner flesh to the point that several antacids and milk are required to make it bearable:rainbowwild:. and I noticed the numbers last time i was doing a chapter and... at first I was sad:pinkiesad2: but then I thought "One out of three is good... I think:applejackunsure:" so I thought that it bared mentioning. seriously, 18 to 35? i am either doing something wrong, or something right that seems wrong

4960744
The poor b*stard.

18 to 35 and the other 350 or so viewers. Most people don't vote for various reasons, one of the most common ones is that they don't have an account. I didn't have an account until near the end of my second year on this site.

4960813 well, yes... an unfortunate trait that he has had since the beginning, my version of characters is to appear to be somewhat perfect but they really have many hang-ups and problems with themselves. for example:
Lyra: she is unsure about the validity of what she knows and the truth and hides it with her odd ball personality like Pinkie. She wants to know everything about humans and legends and thinks that if she can know it all, the key to her dreams will be clear to her and never looks close by for answers
Bonbon: A very blunt pony that has more scars and a history with Midnight like that of sarah james smith ( a point to arise in season 2)
Octavia: Although independent in appearance and attitude, she is likely to get lonely and self-destructive in trying to perfect her music and just that, giving everything she deems a "Distraction" away with blind generosity. She is also very insecure with everything from her appearance to her own life. She NEEDS Vinyl to survive; without her, she would drive herself into the ground like a meteor (A friend of my host's father was so focused on music that his diet consisted of water, multi-vitamins and stale food friends bought him without sleep. One day a friend came to try and talk him out of it and found him dead at his piano, his fingers on the keys as if he was looking over the musical score. I swear, he told me this)
Vinyl is the same but she is like a barreling juggernaut. Without Octavia to come home to, she would never stop partying and die like in above, hours without sleep or rest killing her mid-set. they are both the life support of the other and alone they explode in a fire of music and exhaustion
The doctor: He is the doctor, he is afraid of being alone and being responsable for the deaths or misfortune of others but will close off his heart to save himself from hurt and loneliness. that is why he is possibly one of the most tragic anti-heroes in history.
Ditzy: The joke pony to most but has a strong spirit but is torn in her persuit to make everyone else feel good even if it means losing everything. she is self-destructive and loving to the point that when she fails, she just smiles and picks herself back up, but is crying inside all of the time. only the doctor, who shares her pain, Midnight, possibly her most protective friend, and Luna, the mare whom loves Ditzy, noticed this immediately. she is the center of the group and also the weakest link because she has so many scars from tears unshed and just wants to fly away and cry. but she can't, and when i introduce two more characters later in the series, her devotion will be even further exposed
Luna: she is afraid of what others think about her habits. She was the first Filly fooler and has eyes for Ditzy but also feels attracted to Midnight, her advisor and confidant. she wants to protect everyone around her but fears she is too weak and is scared of her own heart, the source of her banishment and her weak point. she is supposed to be the leader and Midnight tries to help build her confidence but she is afraid of failure
Celestia: she is the repository of most of Midnight's ire and boredom. Midnight beleives that if he can instill some hate in him that will drive her to better herself but she can't have darkness in her heart because of her beleif in purity and light. she is completely incapable of fighting and that irks Midnight
Midnight: it all boils down to the main character; he is searching for a place to die and end his immortality, but with more years than there are beings on the planet, he acts nonchalant and gooofy because like Mr. MYXZPTLK said "I have been a funny guy for a thousand years, after I kill you
Have to go... bed calls, gonna finish this in the morning

4961064
Everyone has flaws, without them we would all just be clones of each other.

What makes me feel bad is that everyone (you included) characterize all these wonderful ponies but I ignore them all in favour of a small few (with the occasional exception).

4961133 i believe that every character is alive and when you give them purpose, you are breathing life into them and give them a life of their own (No matter how annoying they may become [Lyra])
LYRA: Hey!
You know you are a complete cutie but sometimes I wonder why I put up with you
LYRA: I am annoying because I wub you
only vinyl says that
LYRA: and it works for her
... I would take you seriously if you weren't wearing my shirt
LYRA: just because I get cold and you have these shirts doesn't mean I can't use them
... what?
LYRA: Exactly

Now how to dump Maud...

Sorry about not answering any QotCs, originally it was because there were more chapters to read but now I just don't really have an answer for them.

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