A Simple Picnic.

When Pinkie and Twilight go out for a picnic things don't go as planned. With one disaster after another, a day planned for relaxation and fun turns into an utter mess.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

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HyperBlossom7

HyperBlossom7 #1 · Dec 15th, 2013 · 1 · ·

Aww im not sure if this is friendshipping or pure Twinkie Pie. But I still love it! It was short and sweet. I mean there could have been some more detail and whatnot, but you stll put in enough to make it understandable. I liked it a lot! You get a Happy Pinkie Pie as a prize!

Zeyon The Green

Zeyon The Green #2 · Dec 15th, 2013 · 1 · ·

Don't understand why Pinkie got so mad at the mention of brownies, or why Spike was so mad either. Anyway a nice story and a touchy-feely little ending. Lengthening it would be nice, but it stands on it's own despite the speed.

SuperPinkBrony12

SuperPinkBrony12 #3 · Dec 15th, 2013 · 1 · ·

3629500 Note the lack of a romance tag. Yeah, I'd say this is pretty much friendshipping, with only slight hints of something more. All the same the dynamic between these two always comes off better in fanfics then in the show itself. We need a good TwiPie episode at some point.

3629891 Your guess is as good as mine. I'm thinking Pinkie Pie was upset that Twilight wouldn't let her bake that special cake, and Spike was just upset at having to help Twilight plan for the picnic.

Janaff

Janaff #4 · Dec 16th, 2013 · 1 · ·

Thanks for the comments guys! Really appreciate them. Now to answer your few questions. Firstly, this is just friendshipping, yes. I tried to keep things simple since it was the first fic I've written. That's also why it might seem short. I know I could have fleshed it out a bit more, but I figured short and simple would be a better start. And as SuperPinkBrony12 said, Pinkie was upset that Twilight wouldn't let her make the cake.

zxcvzxcv1221

zxcvzxcv1221 #5 · Dec 16th, 2013 · · ·

Very good for your first fic!

If I had to nitpick, some of the lines felt a bit out of character (Pinkie using the word 'petty' for example)

otherwise it was a great little short story. Keep up the good work.

Black John

Black John #6 · Dec 17th, 2013 · · ·

The story feels a bit rushed, but it's still pretty good. Try fleshing out your stories in the future (more detail, dialogue, etc.) but you nailed the ending. D'awww.

BurnNote