Twilight woke up to somepony moving her blanket away from her shivering form. She tried to grab it back, but her limbs wouldn’t respond.
“How ya feelin’, Miss?” asked a light and airy voice that she didn’t recognize.
“Blanket… please,” was the best she could reply.
There was a shuffling sound, and she was tucked into another warm cover. Twilight snuggled her head into it the best she could and sighed.
“Is that better?” the voice asked.
She nodded her head slightly.
“That’s good,” said the voice with an audible smile. “Uh… that’s right! I haven’t told ya my name yet, have I?”
There was a brief pause, as if the pony was expecting her to respond. Twilight remained still and silent.
“Well, my name’s Lady. Granny Applejack told me aboutcha, but she didn’t mention yer name…”
“Twilight… Sparkle…”
There was another pause, this time followed by a nervous giggling.
“Granny told me that about you. I just didn’t think you’d, ya know, stick to that story once ya really came to.”
Twilight would have rolled her eyes if she had the energy to do so. What was it about her name that was so strange? A compelling question, surely, but one that would have to wait until she was out of death’s grip.
She was able to open her eyes a little more than the last time she tried, and Twilight could see the blurry shape of a hulking pony sitting beside her. She felt like she should’ve recoiled in shock but found that she had neither the energy nor the will to do so.
“Sleep… I want… sleep…”
“I’ve gotta make sure ya eat something first,” said Lady. “Granny Applejack was very… um… insistent about that.”
Twilight groaned. Her stomach was still full of sea water and it sloshed around painfully. She wasn’t sure if she could eat, much less want to.
Something hard tried to shove its way through her lips, and it took Twilight longer than she would like to admit to realize that it was Lady doing it. She opened her mouth to moan in protest, but that just made the other pony’s job easier.
“It’s just a cracker,” said Lady. “It’s the only thing that we think ya can keep down right now. Just chew and swallow.”
The cracker tasted like sawdust and as it mixed in with the still lingering salt in her mouth, Twilight wanted to gag. She passed it over from her tongue to her teeth, crunching down on it and feeling it being pulverized into a stomach-churning paste. She swallowed the nasty mixture of cracker, salvia, salt, and bile and hoped she wouldn’t have to feel it come back up.
“Good job, Miss.”
Twilight half expected a doggy treat or a pat on the head. Instead of voicing this particular piece of snarkiness, she gave the blurred mass of a pony a twitch of her lips.
“That’s right,” said Lady. “Ya gotta keep yer spirits up! We’ll be in Port Jonagold soon, just you see. I’m sure you’ll be feeling better by then!”
She’s certainly one for optimism, isn’t she?
There was an uncomfortable silence between them for a moment or two before Twilight felt the air shift and a gentle hoof move under her head. She groaned as her neck protested. It wasn’t until she felt liquid against her lips that she understood. Truth be told, Twilight was thirsty.
Something to do with all that seawater, she thought. All that salt can’t be good for me.
She opened her mouth and let it flow across her tongue, but the taste of it made her spit it right back out. Twilight desperately wanted to retch again but stopped just short of doing so, coughing and sputtering instead.
“Yeah, Granny’s apple cider takes a little while to get used to,” said Lady, “but it’s the only drink that’ll stay fresh on the ship so…”
Twilight just nodded and coughed violently, still trying to get the rest of the apple cider out of her throat. Her entire body was shaking and shivering and twitching under the blanket. A disturbingly clear thought parted the fog that had settled on her mind.
I’m going to die, aren’t I?
“Whaddaya mean Twilight’s missing?!” shouted Rainbow Dash at the top of her lungs.
The rest of the ponies assembled winced.
“Like I was saying,” said Spike, taking his claws out of his ears, “Nopony’s seen Twilight since last night, and that includes me.”
“That doesn’t mean she’s missing,” said Rarity. “She could’ve been called to Canterlot or gone for a walk in the Everfree to see Zecora or—”
“Wouldn't she have left a note for Spike though, Rarity?” interrupted Applejack, pointing her hoof towards the baby dragon. “Twilight’s a real responsible pony.”
“Yeah!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie, bouncing a little. “I mean, remember when she went out to lunch last week and sent us all notes telling us the address and which table she was sitting at in case we needed her?”
“Uh-huh,” said Fluttershy. “She certainly wouldn’t just leave any of us without an explanation.”
“That’s what’s really weird about this whole thing,” said Spike, nodding. “This morning, there was this really powerful teleportation spell and—”
“Did Twilight cast it?” asked Rainbow Dash, waving a hoof.
Spike drew his claws over his face in exasperation.
“Like I was saying, I checked its magical signature using one of the doodads from Twilight’s study, and it matched up exactly with hers—except a lot stronger.”
“So what does that mean?” asked Rarity. “Did Twilight hook herself up to one of those dreadful magical enhancers?”
Spike shook his head.
“Nope,” he said. “That would leave behind some kind of extra magical residue that you could see. Like slime or a shimmer in the air or something. I remember Twilight talking about it.”
“We gotta send a message to the Princesses,” said Applejack. “They’re the most powerful magic users in all of Equestria, so they must have the answer!”
“You’re right, Applejack,” Fluttershy said. “The Princesses will know what to do.”
The mares all nodded. Spike grabbed the quill that he always kept behind his ear for emergency friendship reports and rummaged through the librarian desk until he found a scroll.
“Dear Princesses Celestia and Luna…”
The rocking of the ship and her weak legs made it difficult for Twilight to stand up properly, but she managed after a few false starts. Wrapping and tying the blanket firmly around herself with her teeth, she took a few wobbling steps forward and opened her eyes fully.
There was a lot more light than she expected to be in the hold of a ship, but other than that, it was pretty much as she expected—dank and made of wood. It was wide and low, with lots of crates and boxes.
Is this a shipping barge?
She stopped to examine one of the lights, attached to the ship by crudely-wrought iron, and noticed that it was actually a enchantment instead of an actual flame.
Pretty fancy for a ship like this.
She stepped a little closer to the wall to balance herself against it and groaned. The pain in her side had flared up again. Twilight simply gritted her teeth and continued to walk slowly, each movement of her legs adding a little more pressure to the area.
Somepony was shouting above decks, but she paid them no mind.
Just so long as they don’t shout “Giant squid ahead!”, I think I’ll be fine, she thought, smiling a little at her own joke.
After what seemed like ages of stumbling around, Twilight finally saw natural light spilling in from a square hole cut into the ceiling. Attached to it was a ladder made of rope and planks. She doubted that she could climb it in her current state without a lot of help.
“Hello?” she shouted, finding her voice for the first time since the raft. “Is anypony up there?”
The shouting above her stopped, and she heard hooves shuffling across the deck.
“Hello?” shouted Twilight again.
“Yeah, yeah. I heard ya. Don’t get yer tail in a twist.”
Twilight recognized the voice as the stallion Granny Applejack had been arguing with.
She waited a moment, and the stallion’s foreleg popped through the hole.
“C’mon now,” said the stallion. “Don’t be shy. I won’t bite ya unless yer into that kind of thing.”
Twilight, despite herself, blushed when the pony above her started to laugh. She climbed the first rung of the ladder, just enough so she could grab the stallion’s hoof. He grunted and then began to pull her up.
“A heavy one, ain’tcha?” he muttered.
For her part, Twilight simply remained silent and let herself be pulled through the hole. The bright light of the sun stung at her eyes, and she was forced to close them. Once she felt the stallion stop his pulling on her foreleg, she opened them again.
For a second or two, she was completely blinded by the light reflecting off the ocean, but her eyes quickly adjusted.
All around her was water with no land in sight.
Twilight’s eyes grew wide, and she choked back a scream.
“Ya alright?”
She didn’t look to him. Instead, Twilight looked to the only constant she had—the sun.
“Celestia,” she muttered. “Celestia!”
Twilight turned and faced the stallion, a frown on her face.
“Celestia!” she shouted. “Take me to Princess Celestia!”
“Who?”
The gravity of that simple question weighed down on her, and there was a silence between the two ponies.
“Ya alright?” asked the stallion again, reaching out to her with a hoof.
Twilight flinched away from his touch but remained silent.
No Princess…
No Ponyville…
“Look, ya must be pretty tired. Get some rest down in the hold, and we’ll get ya to Port Jonagold safe and sound.”
Twilight exploded.
“I don’t want to go to Port Jonagold! I don’t want to go get some rest! I want to go home! I want to go to Ponyville! I’m Twilight Sparkle, and I demand that you get me to Princess Celestia!”
The stallion was quiet for a second. Then, he began to laugh.
“You really believe that you’re Twilight Sparkle, huh? Well, I hate to tell you this but Twilight Sparkle has been dead for over a thousand years.”
Oh my...that ending. That ending. Seriously, this is shaping up great! I like the characterization of the OCs as well as the Mane Six, as well as the descriptions of the boat and Twilight's struggles therein. Plus, it's really nice to see a story taking place in the future and Equestria isn't either super advanced or destroyed. Definitely some original stuff, and can't wait for more.
Hush, Twilight. Hissy fits provoke plot developments, everyone knows that!
Enjoying this tale a great deal, and I am looking forward to reading more.
Huh. Didn't that last part coming.
Nicely done! Can't wait to see where this goes.
One question, does this story contain Merponies/ seaponies?
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It just might, friend.
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Grrr... I have answers that just skirt around the question, but answers well enough to be justified...
An djust so you know, I would have read it if you said "yes." I've never read a story with them in it before (aside from Alicornumdrum, and there's only one so far). It'd be nice to see more of them.
Regardless, I shall give this a read.
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Damn right you will.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Ooooo.
So, time spell? Or dimensional spell?
My money's on time. For now, at least.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Oh, my... cliffhanger!
kgerhart01.ipower.com/images/frustrated.gif
(This is me saying that I'm enjoying your story.)
Hmm... I wonder what this is all about.
Alright, I'm now officially hooked. Just what did you do to end up a thousand years in the future, Twilight?
Yeah, I'm definitely along for the ride. This fic has immense potential.
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Keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times, sir.
Very interesting! Keep it up!
*faved and eagerly awaiting more chapters*
Intéressant pour un début, espérons que la suite sera la hauteur.
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Here's wishing I knew French. :)
Saw that bit about Twilight being dead for a long time coming from the first chapter, but nicely done all the same.
One editing quibble:
Apostrophe should be after the n, not the d
Looking forward to more!
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Thanks for the catch! It's been fixed. :)
Ohoho, definitely following this. Massive amounts of potential here.
3627899
That's what you get for having your title in French.
Um... Well there goes my mind. My mind will return eventually when it recovers from the over exposure to awesomeness. Untill then, I will be re-reading, Up-voting, and favorite-ing.
3628118
Indeed, old chap. Indeed.
That last line... holy shit, this isn't good.
If this story gets a TVTropes page, and "Wham Line" isn't on that page, I will put it there.
I fucking love this story.
dat last line tho
This is frighteningly familiar to another story on fimfiction 'that is currently dead' involving twilight being sent roughly a thousand years into the future.
It might be just a coincidence, but I'd like to ask you to make sure.
you have my attention, now i challenge you to keep it.
They've ->they
interesting and could shape up to something of a post "2012" movie scenario, where that huge tidal wave covers the earth. I'll set this on a watch list and see where you take it.
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Thanks for the catch and your favorite of this story!
3629140
I've never heard of such a story. What is it called?
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3631301 I forgot it's name but I Remember seeing it once, or at least a similar premace, however in that story, Twilight drowned in a river and was found out at sea by a trawler, with ponies on board, who feared unicorns because the only one they knew was a wicked despot similar to King Sombra, who had removed the princesses from power only a few years after Twilight's supposed death/disappearance, and killed /removed all unicorns from the land that was once Equestria, save for himself. but yea Twilight was found approxamately 1000 years in the future, by pony's that didn't speak the same language as her.
3631332
That sounds much better than my story, to be honest.
3631388 maybe, but either way it is still a dead story.
I like it. Keep it up!
oooh... I was looking around for a new reading, and I found this! gonna read it soon.
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I like this story's concept more, personally.
We've hit 100 likes.
Let me just pinch myself and then proceed to win the lottery.
I personally find this story to be unique, along with being incredibly good.
No thumbs down.
It should stay that way.
Exellent fic, good sir or madame. Looking foward to seeing what happens next
Only one little Niggle and it's one that I have with a bunch of time travel fics, so rest assured, You're not alone. Why is it inconceivable that Twilight Sparkle be named that? I mean, unless she became some sort of World up-fucking Evil demigod, there's Always the chance that someone shares her name. Hell, even if Twilight DID become a Wufedg, there's always the possibility of cultists. If Twilight died a Millenia and is still remembered, it's actually a decent chance that the Numbers of ponies named Twilight Sparkle or some permutation are higher than average, assuming she was known for her good deeds. Parents naming their kids after the Famous historical figure and all.
It's also not impossible that in some isolated island community, Two ponies who didn't know the lore hooked up and saw an Early star while they were looking for naming inspiration.
But I'm not possessed of all of the facts, So I'll reserve Judgement. There may be a perfectly reasonable reason ^.^
Well, that was crazy. Like, damn. This story is going to be fantastic.
So chapter 3: They don't know who Princess Celestia is... the alicorn who ruled for a thousand years and likely has stuff written/carved/enchanted about her around the entire world... but they know of Twilight Sparkle...
So either than means Twilight did something so phenomenally bad in the past it nearly wiped out all life and civilization to the point of grinding even stone statues to dust, or Twilight became an evil ruler for thousands of years and erased the name of Celestia... because... uhm... Twilight wuz evil.
I dunno.
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/213/d/1/celestia_shrug_by_furrylife1-d42dylv.png
Very good question. More building the mystery. Good, but like I said, don't go TO long without giving at least some answers.
And the other bit. The Death's Grip. That, seems rather melodramatic. Nothing so far even hinted at her actually being in danger still. If it's more about how shes feeling, I could see that, but, the wording is a bit off for that.
That, seems like a very very VERY large stretch. That she would still have that much water in her stomach. unless she had still JUST been fished out of the water, and it's clear some time has passed, how is the water still there? It should have gone out one way or the other by now. Her still feeling far to queasy and nauseas and ill from swallowing that much, that is perfectly reasonable. But because her stomach is still literally full of water?
This, is both great, and not great. On it's own, very nice little detail, not to drawn out, really does well. It's a great little bit, also TO good at describing it. Though that's just a personal thing. I really don't like seeing/hearing others eat, so how good that scene is at describing it, ehhhhh . Though yeah that's just,. like said, a personal thing. Past that, nice bit.
Though, what's 'salvia'?
Why would she think that? She's already been gotten out of the water. They are spending a good deal of effort tending to her, and not in a 'just make her comfortable' kind of way. She's already clearly improving, she's still weak and ill from going through, what she went through, but it's over and she is recovering, and these other ponies are clearly sure she's going to be fine with a bit of rest and care. So what caused that random thought?
Okay, and back to the rest of the Mane 6, again, building more mystery, seeing them try to figure things out on their end, maybe get a few hints. Good, Good.
huh. I have no idea why but, for some reason that line just kind of bugs me. It just, feels off. Forced. It's not major just, a minor, ehhhhh, and I really can't figure out why. The sentiment is right, just, something about the way it's phrased.
Okay, what? Another odd bit. While, honestly I COULD see Twi doing something like that under the right circumstances, if it was something special, or, there was something else going on too. But, as this implies, just randomly? And this one time? Does she send them each letter everytime she goes anywhere? making sure somepony knows, yeah. Leaving a note behind, something like that. Randomly giving all of them personal noted with that much detail, just because, for something so minor... that's going a bit to far.
Huh, the entire conversation about the teleportation spell. Not bad. I could see twilight having stuff like that, and Spike knowing the basics about how to use them. Though the rest knowing so much. Biggest huh bit is Rarity's thing, what 'magic enhancers'? Why are they 'dreadful'. It just, kind of comes ot of nowhere and really doesn't make much sense.
This, again something about this just feels badly delivered. Forced. I really can't see AJ talking like this. And, can't really see anypony specifying about the princesses and their magic like that. They wouldn't ask because of "Strongest magic user in the land" but, because they are the freaking Princesses. Letting them know Twi's gone missing. I could see. Though even that feels a bit fast, they should at least, you know, try to find her. Look around town, spend a few hours asking if anypony has seen her. But even then, that phrasing is just, off.
What about seeing the sun made this spring to mind? I was expecting that, you'd show there was something odd about it. Something wrong that made her realize, well something was wrong but, nothing. I get how seeing it could remind her of Celestia but, why would she suddenly be screaming to see her before anything else? Or even tell them to take her to her? How would they do that? You'd think she'd be more curious about where she is, how she got there, what's going on.
Again, what made her think this? She knows so little about what's going on. Why would she think those didn't exist? yeah the pony didn't recognize the name but, it seems hard to believe that's all it would take is one pony not knowing the name to make he think something that has been a constant for as long as ponies can remember suddenly no longer existed. She knows nothing about what happened, where she is, anything, and yet she's making these leaps of logic based on.... nothing. Yes it's what the story knows is true but, how does Twilight arrive at those thoughts? It just, feels more like what the story wants her to think, then he thoughts being a natural result of the story. Stemming from who she is, what she knows. It just feels like she jumped to "They're all gone" way way to quickly.
Okay this, feels almost OOC. Or at least, rather stupid of her. I could neer really see her saying "I am Twilight Sparkler! Do as I say!" that's just not her. Secondly, how the buck is he supposed to take her to see Celestia? She's on a boat, in the middle of the ocean. there's not man places you can go that quickly. She's demanding something, that even if she had just been dumped into the middle of the ocean in her own world/time somehow, and just had to sail back to Equestria... what she is demanding would be just as impossible. Again, feels like she lept far to quickly to "It's all gone" What would she think that, at all? She'd be more curious, worried yeah but, trying to find out what was going on, where she was. here, her thoughts don't make sense given who she is, and how little she knows about what's going on.
Alright, nice ending, good climax and hook to find out what happens nex chapter.
Okay overall. This one felt weaker then the first chapter. Not bad. No, it's not bad. Has some nice ideas, good mystery. So yeah that's working, but..... The scene with the Mane 6 felt odd. It was nothing but dialog, really could have used some more bits that weren't just somepony talking. And, there was nothing that really differentiated between the ponies. They didn't do anything beside talking, so can't use little clues like that. And, they all sounded mostly the same, except Spike. Not really bad, not OOC, just, in need of fleshing out more. Then the second bit with Twi, it really baffles me how she went that far into panic mode, made the leaps of logic she did..... It just doesn't flow well.
Still interested enough to keep going, and does have some real promise, just, characterization could stand to be worked on a bit.