• Member Since 10th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Jan 25th, 2014

Twinkleshine


T
Source

A world of unending water has something lurking in its depths. It’s up to Twilight Sparkle to submerge herself and her rag-tag group of friends into the mystery that lies below the sea.


Takes place in the break between Season 2 and Season 3.

Artwork is by the ever so lovely Pashapup!

Special thanks to the venerable MasterFrasca99 of Overly Extensive Editors, and to Tranquillite for pre-reading!

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 119 )

It's hard to believe this is your first work of fiction ever. Great start. I can't wait to read more! Good luck! :twilightsmile:

3621836

Thank you kindly. If you're really interested in reading more, the second chapter should be up soon!

:)

3621877

I only comment on stories I find compelling, and never insincerely. I'm very much looking forward to it! :raritystarry:

May or may not actually read this, but, uh...

Your title needs a rethink. Seriously. :twilightoops:

3621933

Is it because of the stealth pun?

3621942 Ah, so it's intentional. Carry on, then. :twilightsmile:

3621946

You seem like a smart fellow. I would personally be honored if you read my story and told me your thoughts. Don't mind the pun and references to a certain obscure video game, as apparently I've got some kind of knack for this fiction writing thing.

Hmm. Interesting. You've set out a lot of questions here and you seem set on answering them; Very commendable, that. Not to mention that the esteemed Ponydora Prancypants has noticed you. A very good sign indeed. Looking forward to more! :pinkiehappy:

I am totally reading this. I sadly do not know what game you refrenced. Is it an old PSone game where you are stuck on a island and have to solve a bunch of puzzles to figure out what happened to everybody?

3621990

It is a PS1 game. I'll tell you that much. :raritywink:

3621980

Thanks for the kind adjective. If I were a fish, this story would be irresistible bait for me: it's got some kind of alternate universe with sailing ships and a title that is a pony pun, French, and a reference to a favorite old song of mine. It's got art from one of my favorite artists, and it has my favorite tag, "Adventure." I was hooked, so to speak, before I even read it. That said, for a first effort, this is interesting, quality stuff! :ajsmug:

Well all I can say is that was a fantastic start to a story I'm hoping to see continue. For it being your first story, well, don't that just beat all? :ajsmug: Seriously, for a short opening chapter you didn't waste a single word, a feat that is rare to see, even in published fiction. I can't wait to see where this goes!

Also, for some reason, the story made me think of this :twilightblush: :

Holy shit.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

This looks like an EPIC start to an epic fic. You got my interest.

~Skeeter The Lurker

You officially have my attention, and a fave. I can't wait to see where this is going.

Also, general praise for the MegaMan Legends reference. :pinkiehappy:

3622991

We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen! :)

3623119DANG IT!:raritydespair: I was about to guess that it was Myst!:rainbowlaugh:

Will read in a bit, though if you don't mind a request... Can you at least write out the word 'One' instead of '1' for the chapter title? It's a little hard to click the chapter when it's that small. X3

3623180

No problem.

Fixed that for you.

Interesting. I shall have to see where this is going.

Also, you got both Ponydora and Toix's approval. On a DEBUT fic.

Won't lie, I'm impressed.

3623199

And to think, I didn't know who they were until they commented on my story!

Sorry, I'm a bit new here.

3623202

Which only goes to show just how impressive a feat it is!

God, now I wish I hadn't squandered my own debut with a terrible story riddled with purple prose...

Anyway, if you have any questions about the site or whatever, feel free to PM me, if you want. I like helping people.

Wow. You have definitely caught my attention with this. I am greatly intrigued by where you are going with this and I am looking forward to it.

Unique!
An adventure where no-pony -even Daring Do- hasn't explored yet!
Scary!
A sudden unexpected time travel that makes Applejack old!
(And possibly, everypony else)
What gave you this idea?

:ajbemused:So apparently people think this is good stuff.

:ajsmug:They're right in thinking that, I'll be watching this.

3623190 Thanks! Much better.

I agree with Pranceh. This is great! Looking forward to what looks like it will have great world-building!

As Darth Vader would say:
"Impressive. Most impressive."

Yer bein' watched now... Watched hard.

3623605

That's a good question, honestly.

Incredibly good with way too many cliffhangers. (that is good, mind you. lol) This is the first time you write fanfics? Man, I would never have guessed. Awesome start :raritywink:
Can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

...This is your first fic?
Damn. :rainbowderp:
Well, keep doing what you're doing and you'll go far, I can tell you that.

Interesting, can't wait to see more :)

Oh my...that ending. That ending. Seriously, this is shaping up great! I like the characterization of the OCs as well as the Mane Six, as well as the descriptions of the boat and Twilight's struggles therein. Plus, it's really nice to see a story taking place in the future and Equestria isn't either super advanced or destroyed. Definitely some original stuff, and can't wait for more. :pinkiehappy:

Hush, Twilight. Hissy fits provoke plot developments, everyone knows that!

Enjoying this tale a great deal, and I am looking forward to reading more.

Huh. Didn't that last part coming. :twilightoops:

Nicely done! Can't wait to see where this goes. :twilightsmile:

One question, does this story contain Merponies/ seaponies?

3627236
Grrr... I have answers that just skirt around the question, but answers well enough to be justified...

An djust so you know, I would have read it if you said "yes." I've never read a story with them in it before (aside from Alicornumdrum, and there's only one so far). It'd be nice to see more of them.

Regardless, I shall give this a read.

Ooooo.

So, time spell? Or dimensional spell?

My money's on time. For now, at least.

~Skeeter The Lurker

:twilightoops:

Oh, my... cliffhanger!

kgerhart01.ipower.com/images/frustrated.gif

(This is me saying that I'm enjoying your story.)

Hmm... I wonder what this is all about.

Alright, I'm now officially hooked. Just what did you do to end up a thousand years in the future, Twilight?

Yeah, I'm definitely along for the ride. This fic has immense potential.

3627687

Keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times, sir.

Very interesting! Keep it up! :twilightsmile:

*faved and eagerly awaiting more chapters*

Intéressant pour un début, espérons que la suite sera la hauteur. :eeyup:

Saw that bit about Twilight being dead for a long time coming from the first chapter, but nicely done all the same.

One editing quibble:

Would’nt

Apostrophe should be after the n, not the d

Looking forward to more!

3627978

Thanks for the catch! It's been fixed. :)

Ohoho, definitely following this. Massive amounts of potential here.

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