When a single man destroys his life, Sol vows revenge. but when his revenge is complete, he finds himself in Equestria, and he begins to question if revenge was really what he needed. After meeting the Cutie Mark Crusaders deep in the Everfree Forest, Sol finds himself trapped in Equestria, but with no motivation to return to the Earth he left behind.
This story take place far in Earth's Future.
(First Fan-fiction, so hit me with all the constructive critisizm you can.)
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*lifts up sledge-hammer that has the words "constructive criticism" written on it, then sets it down*
I see nothing too major to harp on in this, I like the pacing and the way you describe the interactions. I see potential in this and I do hope we see another chapter soon!
Aside from the occasional spelling error its a pretty good story. Im not a big fan of human pony crossovers but this is pretty legit. Please continue.
You, my friend, are horrible. I will have to be an idiot to read this...
and hate it.
all the bits and muffins. Just avoid the mailmare while you got them muffins, or she'll get real metal gear solid on you flank.
316479 Wait. What?
Liking this a lot. This is how HiE stories should be done. So far Sol is believable and interesting throughout, and actually has his own stories that add to his character but without hogging the spotlight too much.
Spelling and grammar are mostly good, only major mistake I'm seeing is using "of" rather than have. For example, however much it may sound like "would of" it's "would've", contraction of would have.
Tracking, with much interest.
316568
Ya know.......
The reason the town hall was destroyed was because Mayoe mare had a muffin in her office....
OK, new chapter is finally out. Now where's that sledge-hammer?
Is it good or bad that I could tell what would happen as soon as Dash left the party?
339946
Not sure
I for one new what would happen before Dash left the party, but then again I am the auther.
339999
Author*
Interesting to say the least. I wanna know what he's gonna do next and what they're planning.
so far so good. :) when twi asked about if his story was about war... he really shouldve said yes lol. I thought that story was more gruesome than the first. Other than that id say it was a good read, ill follow this
so far so good keep it up
i like it its a good story keep up the good work n' sutch
510788
Sorry about the slow update. i hit my head a while back, and the concussion made it hard to think. Though now ideas are beginning to flow again, so I'm ready to wright.
>> HeroeDeLaVida
What did you bang your head on? Also will the updates be more recent?
515397
A locker than a concrete floor. Wasn't the funnest thing I've done in life.
And yes updates will be more recent. I'm still looking for someone to Pre-read for me, but i plan on having the next chapter up by tomorrow night at the latest.
>> HeroeDeLaVida
Ouch. I recently hit the my head on a street sign and gave myself a concussion as well. I'm actually bald in the area i hit, but anyway. I look forward to future chapters.
Oh i forgot i had this tracked, it was a while sens your last update
As for the chapter it was good, and i like that you seam to plan to have Luna a center character in the story (because Luna is best pony
)
and her changing shape in the the moon/sun light was a interesting twist es well.
but just to clarify so i didn't get anything wrong, during the night she physically looks like she did from Lune ecliped, and in the day from Friendship is Magic part 2, right?
522726
I agree, Luna is the best pony. They need to put a Luna face on here.
I actually. Meant for her aperence to be something she can turn on and off. Her S2 aperence being what she looks like when she is channeling the power of the moon, and her S1 being when she is hiding it. Sorry about any confusion.
523693
okey now i see how you ment,but that will be hell tryign to keep track on how she looks buring the story unless you in sudel ways point out in whit form sh is in, but not the that matters that much tho.
One thing that just come to me that i thought was a bit strange is that twilight seams so friendly all of a sudden, usually that whodent be out of character for her or any pony,
but they did think he was dangerous and held him prisoner on a cloud waiting for celestia, then he escaped spend one day in the forest and now they are all okay with him not only being in the town, but moving in to it
i mean did Luna tell celestia aboute him when she left and she told twiligth the he was okey or what happened to make her forget her previous worries?
533042
Ok, i see where your coming form on Twilight being so suspicious abot him, then suddenly being really friendly, but when being held prisoner on the cloud, he shows more depth to his personality, and shows he doesn't enjoy killing. Then when he decides to jump off the cloud because of his fear of captivity, Twilight realizes he is actually somewhat traumatized by what he's done. So she decides he can't be to bad. Also, everypony knows about Twilights near obsession with wanting to know everything she can, and Sol presents an entire new world of knowlege. You don't expect her to let that slip thru her hooves, do you?
And as for ponies not trusting him, they really don't know he's going to be living nearby, since he is going to be in a cabin right on the edge of Everfree. Also, they don't really know about Sol's traumatic past. Only the mane 6 do, and most of them only know a little based on what Twilight told them.
I hope this has cleared up any confusion, I also planned on putting this into the next chapter when Sol is talking with Twilight.
533206
)
Eeyup all clear now thx for taking time to not only read but answering, and good to see you planing to bring that up in next chapters (along whit more Luna i hope
538441
Not a prolem, I enjoy reading and replying to coments, if only so that I know people are reading my story. And yes, there will be more Luna.
Okay, when I read that line, I imagined the creepiest smile.
a new chapter well that's fun, and not only that but it was a fun one to, which means..
"the fun has been doubled" (they relay need to but a Luna emotion in here)
Do you know where we can find an ax at this hour?” I said, a small grin creeping it’s way onto my face....
LOL
i hope you include some misunderstandings regarding that next chapter, twilight already knows he is a bit mentally unstable, so how knows hehe
My excuse why I havn't written anything, plus update info. Yea, sorry about the huge gap.
1261312 I'm as surprised as you
Awesome chapter, even though I'm hella late with reading this chapter.
1804090 Hey, better late than never.
Just keep saying that when it comes to new chapters....
but it is MUCH more than that. it signifies something you can do better than anyone/pony else! that's why it's their... special talent
would that be "ponnequins", in their case?
563364 honestly, i think a Discord emoticon would also be appreciable
"Manticore." "Whatever."
Doctor, another fic has flatlined...