Woke up confused, lost, and bearly a memory. This is a story about the journey an ex-human goes on to find love, happiness, and friendship. But no road is easy and there is always that looming shadow over head. Will he make it or fail? Lets find out.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Everything about this screams "generic HiE". What sets your fic apart? What makes it interesting?
Oh, and you have way too many tags. You want to tag the two or three main genres, not everything remotely applicable.
3563192
The name was the only thing that sounded nice when I started as for the description it's about the same for when I post it. I fixed the genres so there's less of them but I will go back and improve the description later in the day. As for you question well I can't. If I say anything it would be a spoiler. So you would have to read it and find out.
3563418
Well okay, but it sure looks like you misspelled "Equestrian".
Great! You might also be able to drop the AU tag. If the ponies are acting in character, then it's not AU.
3563738
Listen
i know his fic seems like the generic HiE, but in my opinion, it really is amazing. a story needs time to develop, just like any other work in progress.
Hey, great story. I like that you stuck to the characters pretty faithfully. That being said, I've noticed a bit of grammar issues. But I know that writing a story in first person is a bit of a challenge. Keep at it and you'll improve, and good luck with the rest of it.
you should totally update.
Like
soon................how about now?
nah, maybe soon.
yea, soon sounds good.
3641873
I am working on the editing for it. Chapter 2 will be coming soon.
I was reading this and I had to comment. The grammar in this story is terrible. Like a child tried to write a story. There are dozens of errors with tenses, misspelled words, punctuation... etc. The storyline also feels rushed as all hell and the characterization of the Mane 6 is off as well. I REALLY hope the grammar and pacing improve drastically or else I will feel the need to downvote.
You also violated one of the MAJOR 'no-no' rules of HiE stories: do not make the Human character into an Alicorn. It absolutely murders the setting and any remote hope of logic.
Finished the first chapter. That's it, I'm done with this. He's half Alicorn and breathes fire like a Dragon? Jesus, it would have been more subtle if you named him Gary Stu! Fuck! The grammar only got worse as the chapter continued. Honestly, I'm amazed the Downvotes don't outnumber the Upvotes.
6783438
Something tells me he didn't literally breath fire, and used magic to send a fireball. Also it seems to have improved since I read it, it was a little rushed, but there weren't mistakes left, right, and everywhere. So perhaps, the writer, or editor fixed some of the mistakes?
8469877
The first six chapters are kind of rough compared to the rest of the story. As they weren't really written to be posted till I was more talked into it by some friends after the story took a life of its own.
Jeez she looks like a snarky bitch here
9344644
Well... in all fairness, imagine how often she has to hear stuff like this from Twilight. I figure she has her knowledge babble filter on.
I would say I could understand that it gets better after a certain point but waiting six chapters for a qaulity upturn when those 6 chapters add up to 90k+ words is a bit much. I'm hoping it's not like this up untill chapter 6 and more of a gradual increase in quality. Interesting so far, but rough around the edges, the dialouge reads a bit like plastic in way because of it's simplicity and could use a little more scene description. If it truly does get better later on I recommend going back a touching up these chapter a bit, most people wouldn't read past the second chapter if they think it's bad, even if there is a comment by the author saying it gets better after a certain point most people just wouldn't try and trudge through it to get that far.
Your first two chapters are the most important for pulling more people into the story and getting then aqauintned with the world and charcters your trying to bring to life. I'm going to read up to Chapter 7 cause I believe it will get better, the concept and mystery around the appearance of the main character is bit of a saving grace but it can only hold the attention of people for so long before its either forgotten or gets stale. Based of the length of the story as I type this I'm guessing there will be other focusses on the side to break things up a bit, but I will have to read to find out. I do hope this ends up being a great story, then I get the pleasure of reading through it and admitting my doubts about It we're wrong.
9401224
The truth is the reason why I say the first six chapters is when I started writing this story. I wrote it for me. I wrote it to help me through a lot of the problems I was dealing with to issues that were in one way or another cropping up and I just need a form of escape. But after the sixth chapter I began to write for more telling the story and after a push from some of my IR friends, I decided to post it because they thought it was good. It's just how the writing process was for me back when I started.
What the...
Has he entered the Wanderers Library or something?
Uhhh...
Was I right or something?
Is he in a Way?
Im going to keep making SCP multiverse Wanderers Library references until this calms down.
Uhhh...
Dragon Alicorn?
Hmmm...
I love it.
It was here I thought of a name for his new speices.
Draconicorn
Dr-a-Con-Ih-Corn
A mixture of Draconic and Alicorn
Draconic Alicorn
Draconicorn
9663333
The race has a name and you'll see it ^_^
I haven't actually seen that original movie, but the roar is still burned into my memory regardless.
Chapter 1 and I already hate Dash... I hope she stays a point of contention... and God dammit pinkie and her stereotypical bullshit... chapter 2, let's see what you bring