The ponies of Equestria have always seen the night sky as a beautiful portrait, but recently a few more lights have appeared in the night sky, and they are coming to Equestria. Their presence will change the course of history. Who are they? And what do they want?
A new fleet hangs over an alien world. A new threat seeks to bring war to a land of peace. A new face of evil emerges, and a new hope for friendship is born.
Rated teen for the socioeconomic policies implemented by a post-scarcity interstellar civilization during a first contact gone awry and for lasers that go "PEW PEW PEW!"
Chapters (4)
This is a neat concept, and the writing is solid, but your grammar and spelling is a little rough around the edges. Will like to see where you're going to take this.
I'm.... intrigued. I hope to see more.
Dude, your redacted third chapter is messing with my unread favorites list...
They're*
Definitely*
3618191 Thanks, must have lost my brain for a moment there.
a Question and a Statement.
Q: is that some sort of crossover or MLP:FIM + Your Own lunatic Sh*t?... I like 'your own lunatic sh*t'...
Statement: I'm following this with interest... rather rare lately...
3662464 Not crossed over with anything. This has just been an idea I have been tossing around for awhile. I hope I don't disappoint, here, have a picture of Rainbow Dash.
3676817
Rainbow Dash, with an moustache and as Spike ... hmpf
I've seen this more commonly than I'd like, people seem to be mixing up adverbs and adjectives a lot. It's an E not a Y
First!
Oh wait, this is my own story.
Anyway this was a real bear to write. Half way done and I leave to go across the country for the holidays, had to fight tooth and nail to get a computer to type on. In the end I just put paragraphs in bottles and threw them in the ocean but I think it came out well. So ya, next chapters should be faster.
Don't change that channel,
MrPants1100
Love the story. You could use a bit more editing, tho. Also, during the point where Davids is reading the report on the dead Ensign, you might want to bolden or italicize or even put the parts that are the report in a quote box. It's cool that you're doubling between the report and Davids's thoughts, but you need a way to set the actual report apart from the rest of the text, because it's confusing as it is now. Also, what's with the weird paragraph spacing? Sometimes there's a space between paragraphs, sometimes there isn't. Just saying, just trying to help you with your story, just trying to help you along so we can find out what effing happened with Scootaloo and the spaceman already!?
3729061 Ah yes, editing, my one weakness! Thanks for the pointers by the way, going over this again a lot of the formatting is weird. As for the spacing, I tried to use extra spaces to show time had paced within the same scene, but if that doesn't work I can try something else.
And as for the Scoot-Meister and Davids-chan... Well if I had any control over what my fingers wrote the standard issue laser weapons would double as ice cream dispensers. Or maybe something else.
A big thank you to everyone for your support, it means a lot to me.
Don't forget to floss,
MrPants1100
So.....uh........ you still here?