ooh, this is interesting. Can't wait to see where this one goes

o snap necromancy! >.><.< the fun has been doubled.

i do hope she becomes an ally to nightmare moon.

i approve this

also finish atfn first then do this one to clear up any missing pieces.

O.o how do you do this....also poor dazzle having three eyes, going to suck if she needs glasses

Damn. Just... Damn. Wow. (other monosyllabic word here)

That was great.

Moar, you magnificent bastard, moar!

>>306509306509 Hehe. Those will be some amazing spectacles.

>>306511306511 shit maybe?

>>306340306340 Well, this fills in some pieces from ATFN such as what goes on outside of the castle and whatnot.

maybe dazzle can use her newgound necronamncy powers to enter a tournament and beat up a roster of fighters including a pretty boy, a couple ninja, and an insane immortal necormancer!

All joking aside this seems interesting, and do i see a bit of a crush between dazzle and orange?

Well, well, well... Peppy, you've done it again.

Kudos on the brilliant fic. Sorry it took so long to read, I've had a lot of uni to go through in the past week. Really enjoyed it and looking forward to more. You could run them side by side, then have them merge at some point (ie: Dazzle joins Night's army) and then run it as one fic. That would be pretty interesting. But yeah, just my rambling. Oh and shame on Orange. Exposing herself to a 12y/o. Not legal in a lot of places.

Anyway, just me muttering thoughts.

Also, Jekyll: BRACKETCEPTION to 8 levels!!

Gah, why do you people keep doing this to me? How am i supposed to be productive in real life if I keep finding more and more fics to read,write, and ramble about!

Wall-O-Text

This is intresting i think the first person perspective is a nice change of pace here. It really allows us to get into dazzler's head and see the world through her eyes. I'll admit I think that you should do alternating chapters as this story really does seem to add more to the overall world of ATFN.

The Dazzler Blossom relationship looks like it will be intresting to explore. I mean we've been given some intresting hints for example what happed to organge that prompted her to say that dazzler was all she had left, did she and her family have issues about the nature of her cutie mark? How did these too meet and why did they become friends how close do they become over time that made Dazzler hesitent to admit even to herself her true feelings about her oldest friend.

Now we come to the big questions, where did this bassilisk come from, how did it get to dzzler's house and why focus on her to receive it's power rather than the full grown unicorns? Is there a reason that it replaced her horn with a third eye can she see from it if so is it normal vision or some kind of otherworldly sight granted by the powers she has taken on in a moment of anger and weakness?

Wall-O-Text

gore with your writing style? *approve*

first-pony-view of a 12 year old? not sure...

keep writing

ATFN or ND?

the answer is hard.

You could compromise and switch between them, but I don't think that would be a good idea.

You could make chapters shorter to be able to put out ATFN out as frequently, but you shouldn't do that either.

I would want you to update ATFN now and then get ND up to 4 chapters, so we can see in what direction ND is headed.

After that you just write what you are more motivated for. Whatever you want, if you have a good go on one of them just write it. Don't feel forced to write for either.

I have several things to say about this story, so let me get the funny ones out of my system now. Dazzle is perverted for a filly who just came out of foalhood. No! Orange, why did you ruin the pancakes with peanut butter!? And most importantly......WINGBONER!!!!

Okay, silliness taken taken care of.  Now, I definitely like where this is going. Necromancy is a basilisk magic is it? Are the Basilisk extinct, and can Dazzle's new eye kill victims when locking eyecontact with them? I'd imagine not, but I'm interested in what other powers the ex-unicorn might've just gained. The third eye is often a symbol for either foresight or transcendence. The implications are interesting.

Also, the Royal Guard have really lost it since Nightmare took over, haven't they? I doubt Celestia would approve of them killing ponies who were only trying to protect their family, and attempting to kill foals. They've become desperate since their defeat at New Mareland.

On the matter of when you continue this, I'd like to see you juggle it, but considering this is going to track Dazzle as she grows I think you should probably finish ATFN first so as to avoid in potential spoilers that might occur later in ATFN.

>>317827317827 This is technically in the past. Its during the first recruitment phase of Nightmare/Royal Guards.

Now for the other stuff. WHAT?! RUIN IT WITH PEANUT BUTTER!? How can you live with yourself ? She isn't a pervert silly! Or is she? Who knows The basilisks aren't extinct, but there are very few remaining and none of them as powerful as Morla. I can explain the use of the eye, or at least part of it, without any major repurcussions. The basilisks control their magic through the use of their eyes. A pony's eyes were not made for using such magic and would therefore be destroyed should they attempt it if given the ability to do so. Her eyes couldn't be replaced due to basilisks being blind thus making her blind in turn and the basilisk didn't want her eyes as a tribute. Morla wanted an exchange of power and so took her horn and replaced it with an eye that could cast necromantic magic.

>>317856317856 Ah, so her third eye is blind. That explains why she couldn't see through it. An exchange of power, huh? So Morla's still whole and alive elsewhere, isn't she/he?

I say finish ATFN first, going back and forth would kill me.

It's a Rock! -Spock

Hmm. Great overall, but I think that Blossom's reaction at the end was a little... Unfit? She seemed to just jump to the conclusion of Dee Dee using necromancy, but I think that it would have been better for her to be: 1) More traumatized; 2) less aware of what appears to be an extremely uncommon power. Otherwise, the fear is well placed, as are the hugsies. After all, every little monster needs a hug! And, of course, tracking + thumbs-up (it's just not the same! But it's better than nothing).

>>326190326190 She doesn't know what it is exactly. All she saw was the glowing of the stone removing Dee Dee's horn. Replacing it with the eye. Then seeing the same glow possess Dee's parent's. It's an obvious assumption to make that the two coming back to 'life' was caused by Dee Dee.

>>324985324985 Unintentional Star Trek reference ftw?

OMG hi, Lol i was in yuor blog psot :P

>>333774333774 So I noticed. Enjoying it so far?

The title scares and excites me, and I wonder if she'll make an appearance in ATFN. You know, since Nightmare bought that book about basilisks... suspicious...

And I'm glad to see that you're still a sicko who makes foals slaughter other ponies. That's a sign for me that the world is still sound to some degree, without your madness unchained from your mortal body.

>>343816343816 Yep :)

How old is Dazzel?

>>377468377468 OH Sorry. Dazzle is 6 and Blossom is 8 almost 9 which would equate to Dazzle being 12 and Blossom being 17 in our age system.

So, yes, Blossom is technically a foal fiddler. But only till Dazzle ages another year or so.

>>377517377517Not sure how okay I am with this but....I did read The Back Room so....

Well... Since you just got yourself a new editor - and plan to go back over the chapter, etc - I don't have to point out the one grammatical error I found!  

On another note, the only qualm I had was that, at times such as the very beginning of the chapter, Dazzle seemed a little old for her age. However, since you kindly elaborated upon your age system I've been caught thinking that at times she may be a little too young sounding. It's probably just me anyway, but, assuming it's not, I'm sure you'll find a good balance - after all, you even went so far as to make an author's note about it. Regardless, good chapter.

>>377595377595 Yeah, I'm going to make the narration from the intelligence of the 'future Dazzle' as if she's telling it through reminiscence.

again you incorperat necromancy into the world in a way such that it creats an atmosphere around it not of pain and suffering but of indiference and use simply amasing. my opinion on necromancy is that it is usefull like any other magic only that it is mostly misused by those who usually wield its power now here i see a child cursed with the power due to the fact that she was convinced into it during the most traumatizing experiance in her life now she must rebuild her confidence now i wonder what this ability will do to her phsychy. under other cercumstances she might've liked the ability given her dont you think? anyway enough rambling 'Ruby' is awsome and blossom now has her own guardian angel '(guardian angel of death that is)' and its only a plus that they love each other like a certain pair of deviants

anyway point is awsome story you do yourself credit now thank you and continue on with this piece of fine work.

Edit: one last thing necromancy is also the power to deny another pony deaths blessing there for :pinkicrazy:endless hours of torture for you enemys.

blossom took care of herself and lived along for 4 years... she's 8 years old

dazzle still needs a babysitter, she's 6

doesn't seem to add up, but hey still an nice story

>>378159378159

It's the difference between a rough foalhood and a sheltered foalhood (remember, Dazzle's parents wouldn't let her play outside until very recently). Also, Blossom might have lived alone, but she certainly wasn't fending for herself. She had Ruby.

I should really get to bed.

A nice long chapter. Well worth the wait. Now we have more info on how necromancy works in your universe, and some major emotional development. Blossom loves Dazzle as more than a friend doesn't she? Well, that'll make for some wonderfully awkward scenes later, given how young Dazzle is. Also, Ruby is extremely nice. Like, ridiculously so. Not that that's a bad thing.

I'll have to post a wall later but at the moment I'm trying to hammer out the next bit of my own fic, yet i couldn't resist reading the next chapter of this.

>>378669378669 It's definitely mutual, but theyre both inexperienced for obvious reasons. Dazzle more than Blossom due to what Jekyll said and Blossom reading more.

>>378159378159 What Jekyll said.It happens here too. Kids run away from home and fend for themselves all the time while you have kids that wouldn't know wtf to do since they grew up being pampered and sheltered.

Curse you peppy, i've had to have 15 hearts transplants and 5 blood transfusions just to survive ATFN an dnow this!? You  my good sir are terrible! Expect a note from my  lawyer!

Nah but seriously nice story per usual, and i need to ask, did Moon send the guards after DD? If so will she end up being mentioned in ATFN as a side character or as an assassin or something, because i don't see her having any love for Moon...

I likes it. Nuff' said.

>>380215380215 It shall remain a mystery till both are finished

"It’s a very large city compared to Winterhold and Canterlot and the weather there is very nice year round.”

Winterhold and Canterlot

Winterhold

Somepony has been playing Skyrim.

>>431142431142 Actually, that name was not my idea. One of the readers wrote a mini fic inspired by ATFN  and used that as a location in their story. It's a large mining town/city thing. It's also right on the edge of griffon lands.

>>433347433347 Oh,    Well. then whoever was inspired by your story and wrote a story decided to put the Stormcloak capital, Winterhold, as the town it takes place in,

Forgive my assumption.

>>433377433377 It's no problem, I thought the same thing when I saw it

so this story takes place during the War, right? a thousand years before ATFN? damn...Daring Do is an old series. Also, can't wait for Dee Dee and Moonie to meet. It better happen. Also, a beautiful mare who's a filly fiddler? sorry Colts, you missed out I guess.

>>436059436059 Noooooooooooooooooooo! This is during the recruitment phase before the Midnight Massacre during ATFN. So it's like 2-3 months after Nightmare Moon returns.

>>436640436640

HA! That clears up a lot! still

Shapeshifting filly meets necromancer filly....DUN DUN DUN!

*finishes reading new chapter of ATFN*

*sees the name of another fanfic "Necro Domina*

"What be this?"

*reads chapter 1&2*

"All of my yes."

>>475057475057

Hmm, should I be petty and keep my wall of text to myself?

Naw I'm better then that.

Wall-O-Text

So much going on here and the pacing felt nice not too fast or too slow.

So we finaly get to see them depart from Canterlot, and during said trip find out just what happens when Mrolinth gets a bee in her bonnet. Still got to give Blossom credit for having the moxie to stand up to such a creture much less attempte to chew it out for basicly tricking Dee dee into being it's host. Props to dee dee for being able to once again force it back as well.

Trottingham, I'm getting  something of a chicago vibe from it though I'm not sure why. Also Talk about luck first find not only a letch of a cab driver who got what was coming to him for his vile acts but also a hotle deskclerk who made the wrong jokes at the wrong time. Poor Blossom having to be reminded of what happened to her so soon aftword and in such a blatent manner. Still she's got dee dee by her side.

Speaking of dee dee, I know she's young and somewhat reckless but well I think she's going to get them both into a world of trouble in a moment. Still it'll almost be worth it to see the look on Trixie's face when a none unicorn filly curbstomps six guards right infront of her face. the only way this could be better is if trixie tried to challenge twilight to a magic duel infront of all of Canterlot.

Wall-O-Text.

Well......fuck this was awesome Dee gona kick some serious flank.

Peppy what is it with you and creating adorable weapons of mass destruction?

Also that reminds me, the only way this could be better was if Dee and Moonbeam teamed up and went to town on an army of griffins.

P.S Is Trixi being recruited for the Royal Guard or Lunar army?

Jesus Christ Peppy!!! another one!!! okay here it comes...

You biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip bastard!!! And your biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip cliffhangers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: you are evil and that's why we like you

>>476796476796 Lunar Army.

>>477112477112Oh thanks

>>477183477183 Can check ATFN for armor colors. RG is gold and Lunar is silver.

Should've killed that dude. To me rape is just as bad, if not worse, than murder.

Anyway...

DAT CLIFFHANGER!

Excellent chapter. Also, were those supposed to be royal guards recruiting Trixie, or Nightmare's forces? If the latter I guess I can see Dazzle not being able to tell the difference.

---

Sleep tight

>>479966479966 i dont think dazzle cares either way. and remember that both sides are the cause of her parents death and she hasn't forgotten it also she's still not that educated of a filly so she probably assumes the lunar soldiars are just like the royal guard so the situation is probably already way out of hand already and with that muahaha let the slaughter commence! tho honestly i do like the lunar soldiars and dont wish them to die but its a little filly slaughtering an entire company of soldiars so i'm gonna see it wheather i like it or not.

hay peppy at current point in the story how long till the royal guards ill fated strike against nightmaremoon? and lichpony is bestest pony.

"please make a lichpony guardian for dazzle and dee dee":

Image: http://img1.pcgames.com.cn/pcgames/1007/08/1946746_2a05c0269f2311378b82a1c8.jpg

Xaldon you know necromancy is a bad practice

*timidly* 'i know proffesor sparkle ist just neicromancers are awsome allies and...'

no buts now stop trying to cast it and help me finish todays experiments

yes ma'me.

By the Starry Mane of Queen Moon why must you torture us Peppy? what with the slow (But worth the wait) updates on ATFN, and now this amazing fic..... I might as well join the Lunar army right now so I can have something to do other than fidget while you work.... I wonder if they take gamers

>>492680492680 The slow on ATFN is now due to alternating between it and this (plus whatever previous chapter revisions I make.

And yes. If you can move your limbs, then they'll take ya.

So wait, why is Dazzle attacking the Lunar Guards?  I thought it was the Solar Guards that killed her parents?  Is she just kind of generalizing anyone in guard armor = bad, or did I totally miss something major along the line?

>>493129493129 She was upset. Wasn't paying attention to who killed her parents other than the fact that they were in armor. She heard her parents talking about Nightmare Moon's Lunar Army the night before. She assumes that it was the Lunar Guards that did it, so yeah.

Gotcha.  I figured she was just generalizing, but I just wanted to make sure I hadn't missed something important .

And since I haven't said it yet: screw your cliffahngers!  In this and your other story! .

>>493228493228 Bwahaha!

>>492748492748 Alright well my creator says they want to draw fanart of Dee Dee sometime, as for me off to the recruiting station!

Their kisses in this chapter completely change Blossom's fate according to the laws of plot theory. Normally after something like this, a pony like Blossom would be Dazzle's crutch--a stable person that would help keep Dazzle emotionally and mentally sane. Blossom would have to die, either in Canterlot to make Dazzle an extremely unstable pony, or later on in Manehatten to make her in to a very apathetic and nigh unemotional pony.

But that kiss changed everything. Even if Blossom does die, Dazzle won't be (extremely) too bad off. Personally, I hope she doesn't die.

Those were all just main potential paths now, sentient beings are always complicated and pretty unpredictable. Even if the kisses didn't happen, there were still many different paths this story could deviate--and there still is. Just a little spur of the moment thoughts from my plot theory.

Oh yeah, this is great btw!! Kinda sad there's only 3 chapters so far though.

I read and read...but now I regret it. Where's the 'next chapter' button?

>>501223501223 It's still new as compared to ATFN. I can only update both so fast, unfortunately.

>>501246501246

Well, I can only fave this once... but in my mind, I've favorited this fifty times already. Me likes. Me likes lots.

>>501260501260 Good. Gooooooood. Now all I need to do it figure out how to make it possible for multiple votes and there'll be instant profit!

peppy you inglorious basterd who taught you how to troll so well?

heck id wouldn't be surprised trixie get over the imminent rape of 6 guards right around her and try to pry into dee-dee's origins of flank kickery...........you know.....to *cough* better *cough* her great and powerful powers lol.....................

>>492680492680

Indeed we do! We'll take anypony from casual gamers to advanced RTS and FPS experienced ponies! Your above average hoof-eye coordination, coupled with the intense fasting training you've undoubtedly put yourself through on the long nights of "Game and Watch" will be most useful in a surprise/ambush situation! You'll be right there on the front lines, defending the Highest honor of Her Majesty and your fellow ponies.

And let's face it: Fillies DIG the Uniforms.

Signed:

-Brigadier General Dream Weaver-

=Commander of the 51st Special Operations Pegasi Unit, Station Trotsdale=

>>556916556916 I'm good at micromanaging units in rts games, even better if I have my little golem tiny with me...

As for fillies digging the uniform I am so digging that, ladies my body is ready

*whistle* That be one mighty fine drop down there... Now, how do we get down *spies countdown to next chapter* Guess I gotta wait for it.

On a side note, >>556916556916 I wonder, I can swing a sword like Riven. Do I qualify, and the pay better be good. Also, won't need armor, I'm the main character, yo.

>>590688590688

That all depends. We must see you in action first. As for being the main character: this storyline holds no guarantees.

>>594913594913

Hmmmm... Still seems like a lucrative job...

aaaaaaaaaaaah foaliphilia at it's finest

>>688932688932 It's the best.

"Why do you talk so funny? It's so [ird!" I smiled and tilted my head as I awaited her answer. Was that supposed to be a weird?

>>802011802011 Probably. Lemme go find that >.>

So... next chapter when?

>>811078811078 Whenever what I'm working on now is finished. Shouldn't be too long. Had hit a block on this though.

Nice, only a few metters into the city and one of em gets almost raped, i guess the sex tag will appear soon...

>>11733741173374 There won't be any rape, that's for sure, but there will be sex. I could have swore the tag was already there, though....

Oooooo yay

just wondering here, you mentioned "midday" here, so is that a mistake or not? because I think I remember Moon explaining it by saying something along the lines of she cycles the moon from relatively bright to relatively dark to recreate the days and nights respectively?

Either way glad to see this out.

>>12006501200650 Even with the moon out it is still midday.

Necro Domina updated?  Madness!  But oh so fantastic in so many ways.  A new chapter of ND, and one that didn't end on a huge cliffhanger no less.  An impending chapter of ATFN to finally break that soul crushing taunt about the future that the last update gave.  Today is a good day .

On a side note, I really want Dazzle to run into Twilight.  Seeing her reaction to getting a chance to study DD's magic would be hilarious .

it’ll be super-special-awesome!” I can't help but feel a reference in this one...

Also, new chapter WOO!

>>12008471200847 Aye, that there is. If you can figure it out, I'll give you one cookie.

>>12007721200772 Perhaps sometime.

bet dazzle and if not bloosom be happy to know dazzle isn't the only filly to gain terrible power through terrible circumstances.................is it weird that i find myself wanting to just hug dazzle while at the same time finding myself perfectly fine with discussing matters of life, death and all things necro with Morla....

Preparing penis cannon is 5..4..3..2..1.. Firing Loads *Jizzes everywhere* Launch was a success! *Everyone stands up and cheers*

>>12010121201012 I'm just gonna assume that it's the line of someone's parody of someone with Anime Hair. Also, said someone is totally not on that picture there. Nope. *shifty eyes*

>>12012651201265 Somebody's excited

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_1.png

>>12011471201147 Not at all.

>>12013371201337 Oh no. Definitely not him.

Image: http://derpy.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134636586950.png

I don't have anything constructive to add, so I'll just go with Dazzle's back! Yaaay! Thanks, Peppy!

BOCK YES I HAVE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS I CANNOT HELP BUT USE CANTERLOCK TO EXPRESS MY JOY AT YET ANOTHER STELLAR CHAPTER!!!!!

Image: http://i.imgur.com/rbHCr.gif

Visual representation of ensuing happy dance

>>12017011201701 That is an exceptionally adorable dance.

>>12016931201693 Not a problem!

About time Peppy.

"Could you please stop talking in the first-pony? It's annoying."

Um, isn't it supposed to be third-pony not first-pony?

Anyway interesting to see what happens in the future.

>>12027171202717 Hmmmmm. You're right. Why didn't I notice that.

Wow someone must have finally hit you with a writing stick.

>>12027901202790 Well, to be honest, when  left off on this I had already had like 3.5k words in.

>>12029331202933 Okay so it was more like an soft but insistent prod with the writing stick?