- Member Since 18th Jul, 2013
- offline last seen Nov 21st, 2023
ChromeMyriad
In a box under the stairs.
ChromeMyriad
Joined 18th Jul, 2013 ·
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- AzelTheMantis · 3.1k words · 84 1 · 3.2k views
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I really liked this, man. I'm looking into a GCSE in English literature, and all I can say is the writing is truly fantastic. It gave me lots of help, and the story is great too! I really liked the way everything played out, and in general what a feeling it gave at the end. Not just a simple rapefic, but a really nice... plot. :3
Good job, I love it!
3511430
Thanks, shabbycat, it's good to know I didn't strike out completely. Actually, the rating ratio seems split pretty evenly down the middle. I wasn't sure if this was because it dealt with some kinky themes or because it was just bad. It's good to have your support, and I'm glad it helped you out!
Also; I see what you did there. I approve.
All considered a decent but still badly explained story, lacking all the additional element this kind of plot would require to let the story flourish
Still, it's acceptable nonetheless
3512165
Fair enough, good sir. I intended this story to be a one-shot, and I think it would be right to leave it that way now, but perhaps a few extra chapters wouldn't have gone amiss.
Good evening, mate! This review is on behalf of Authors Helping Authors, let's dive right in: :WARNING: MAY CONTAIN NUTS SPOILERS:
Name of the story: The Diabolical Saviour
Grammar: 9.5/10, I really couldn't see much to make a fuss about, though:
It would seem that something went a bit wrong there
Pros:
1. Nice use of descriptions and language.
2. Impeccable grammar.
3. Interesting little twist at the end, made reading a rape-play fic kinda worth it for me.
Cons:
1.Some of the themes presented (abandonment, loneliness, repressed feelings of inadequacy etc.) could have been better presented in a much longer fic. Though I can appreciate that you just wanted a one-shot with a few heavier themes.
2. A bit of a personal peeve here, but it's a rape fic. Now, I stay away from clop (not really the main theme of this, though) on principle, but I dare say some cloppers will be turned off this fic by that. I'd think that most of these down-votes came from people who were disgusted at first glance and didn't take the time to actually read it.
And... that's about all I can say, I'm not a very verbose person when it comes to giving reviews, mainly because I don't like giving criticism. Anyway, I'm going to give this a like for the ending
3515496
Thanks for the review, Slip Kid. I feel like your concerns are what earned me most of the downvotes on this story, so thank you for your opinion. I did want to make this a somewhat tragic fic, but I think people looking for clop were turned off by the rape, rape fans were turned off by the ending, and people looking for plot were turned off by the clop. I guess I tried to do too much at once. Thanks for the honest opinion!
3515513
Any time, mate
3515513
My response? Bah!
It was obviously *play* from the moment Celestia ran to the guard, so anybody *actually* thinking this was a rape-fic needs their reading skills checked.
I rather liked it, though it would've been better to see the themes and plot worked through it more... maybe get into that part of Celestia's head during the scene, let us see what she's getting out of it? How she feels about it, how it fulfills her needs at the same time that it disturbs her?
3516877
I'm glad you enjoyed it, Shrinky. Yeah, I could have gone into the whole thought process of Celestia more. I dunno, part of me likes leaving some things to the reader's imagination, but it could have been interesting. I might revisit the pieces presented here (i.e. put the part about Celestia's insecurities in another story, maybe do a clop-for-clop's-sake fic) but I don't think I'll be modifying this particular story.
3517150
No problem. :) Your approach is certainly enjoyable, and valid! I just happen to enjoy getting inside their heads. As the whole "shrink" thing should imply.
...
I can honestly say that i'm a bit pleasantly surprised. I figured this would just be a simple little clopfic, but you made it allot more meaningful than that.
I'll be giving this a thumbs and favoriting, both quite deserving, in my opinion.
3528655 I'm glad you enjoyed it! I've had these ideas in my head for awhile, and putting them together turned out pretty well, even if the story is a bit unpopular.