• Member Since 9th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen May 2nd, 2021

DarthLena


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Applejack has finished harvesting before Fall and she has a lot of spare time. Twilight decides that they should share their free time together. Doing things that ponies do when they are free. Because ponies.

*No SERIOUS Clop, just a short and cute story with some touchy feely and kissy kissy. If your not into that then you should be because its awesome.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 50 )

This was cute, but the confession scene didn't really resonate very well.

3482604 I would agree, I spent a while trying to get it right, but when I could only work on it at like 2am It's a tad hard to focus. It was just a short story anyway, I'll work harder on the next one I do.

You're right, the world does need some more TwiJack in it, and this was a nice little addition to a hopefully growing collection of TwiJack fics :twilightsmile:

I'd agree with Titty Drag up there. While this was very cute (never thought AJ would be the one to grab Twi's flank), my one only little pet peeve was the overuse of "y'all." I dunno, it seems to be more of a plural thing (you all) than a singular person- err, pony thing :rainbowwild: Not that it didn't take away from the story at all. Still a cute read to wake up to on a Wednesday morning.

3482713 I do doubt that Applejack would go touching somepony up, but I doubt even more that Twilight would even dare to do it. Plus AJ hasn't has much sleep and we do silly things went were tired and aroused, and that is how I'm going to justify that.

I also agree that I did overuse yall, but I was trying to get her cute accent across maybe a little too much, and really I just didn't think it would be that bad, and Id rather not go through the whole story changing it, so it can stay and I'll be more careful in the future.

Im glad you liked it, and cute it what I was aiming for. I'll probably write some more Twijacks because I love that pairing quite a lot, Flash Sentry is a lie! :twilightangry2:

3482733

I had no problems with AJ feeling up Twi's flank. I found it more funny than anything. Also sleepy Twi snuggling into another pony is best. Writing in Applejack's accent can be quite difficult sometimes, and it's hard to walk that line between not-enough-use and overuse. Besides the little overuse of "y'all," you did a fine job with AJ's dialogue, and again it didn't take away from the story so you're good.

Please do write more TwiJack. I'll be keeping my eye out for some new fics.

And yes, Flash Sentry is a lie (even though the name of the ship, "FlashLight," is simply hilarious).

3482733
Y'all means "you all"; if the statement can't be construed to apply to more than one person, it shouldn't be used. So if you're talking to a group of people, it's "y'all"; if you're talking to one person, but talking about them and a group of people, it is "y'all". If you're just talking to one person, it should be "you".

So:

"How are you doing today?" -> Exactly what it sounds like
"How are y'all doing out at the farm?" -> How are things going for you and yours out at the farm (basically asking about your whole family, or everyone working out at the farm, even though you might only be addressing a single person at the time)
"How are y'all doing?" -> Something you would say to a group of two or more people while walking up to them on the street

Note also that "y'all" is a contraction (of you all), and as such should be spelled using an apostrophe.

3482759 As long as it didn't ruin the story I'm happy.
I don't much care for stories where Twilight takes the initiative in a confident manager when it comes to shipping, it really doesn't fit her character. I'll probably start on a new story next week, should be fun. :twilightsmile:

Ha Flashlight. xD

3482784 Okie dokie, I'll make sure I remember that. Just trying to hard to get her accent right that's all. :twilightblush:

Enjoyable, but there were a good few grammatical errors. Do you know of anyone willing to look your work over before releasing it for the sake of solving the issue? I'd do it, but I really don't like prereading. Takes way longer than I thought it would.

3482938 It's hard to proof read your own work, next time I'll get one of my friends to give me a hand.

Will you be making a sequel to this? I really enjoyed this alot.

3483586 I suppose I could. What would you like to see in a sequel?

A lot of the same stuff but with a continuing of the story line, like the same personalities of the ponies, the reactions, the cute moments, the awkward moments, stuff like that. I PM'd you the grammar problems and stuff like that because I hate it when people spam up the comments with that stuff. Back on topic, keep up the good work!:twilightsmile:

Spike is the only non-gay dude who would react like that, methinks. XD

*No SERIOUS Clop, just a short and cute story with some touchy feely and kissy kissy. If your not into that then you should be because its awesome.

Gasp, I'm not gonna get cooties from reading this, am I? :rainbowderp:

3485536 Honestly, I was so tired, I couldn't think of a better way to end the story :twilightblush:

3487381

Hey, it was a good ending!

This story is... nice. Nothing original, but still a good short. :twilightsmile::ajsmug:

3489221 Not lame is pretty much what I was aiming for.

3488895 Well that's good :twilightblush:

I am always a tad irritated by feelings seeming to be automatically reciprocated, but I thought it was funny that Applejack was feeling Twilight up. :rainbowlaugh:

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