Twilight's Journey Through the Mind of a Lazy Writer

by RagamuffinQ

Chapter 1

It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. The sun was shining, there were no clouds in the sky and all the birds were chirping. The ponies in Ponyville were going about their daily business, some walking down the road, some going to and from shops and some where just chatting with friends.

Twilight Sparkle was one of these ponies. She was walking home after having lunch at a café with her friend Rarity. As she walked, she hummed quietly to herself with her head held high and her wings spread out to soak up the warmth of the sunshine.

As she neared her home, she used her magic to open the door.

"Spike! I'm home!" She called out as she walked in to the library.

"Hey Twilight, how was lunch?" Spike asked as he walked down the stairs with a toothy smile on his face.

"It was great," Twilight said as she sat down on one of the plush rugs that were scattered about the house."That café makes the best daisy sandwiches I have ever had. Did you know they put just a hint of peppermint in them?"

Twilight sighed as she thought about the delicious sandwich and how she wanted another one. However, her thoughts were cut short when a bright light appeared and then was replaced by a blue portal.

Twilight looked at the portal in shock when a bright blue Pegasus pony with a yellow mane and tail stepped out. She also had a purple bow in her mane and two silver hoofilets on her left, front leg. Her eyes were green and her cutie mark was of a shooting star the same color as her bow. Twilight watched as the strange pony looked around the room a little, then, upon seeing Twilight, she started smiling excitedly.

"You're Twilight!" She screamed as she bounced slightly in place.

Twilight looked confused at the other pony, "Yeah I'm Twilight, but who are you and why did you just come from a portal?"

The Pegasus stopped bouncing as her face changed from excited to serious in a matter of seconds.

"Twilight," She said. "I need your help."

Twilight was once again shocked. "W-why do you need my help?" She said with big eyes.

The Pegasus , once again, quickly changed her mood back to happy and replied, "It's nothing to big, really just a favor, but if you could help me it would really mean a lot to me." She finished with a big smile hoping it would help convince Twilight.

Twilight seemed to calm down a little after she heard that.

"Well, if it's just a favor..." She trailed. "What can I do for you?" She said with a smile.

All of a sudden, she was knocked back by something hitting her. She looked down to see a blue blob with it's legs around her. As quickly as she was hugged, she was let go.

"Sorry," the Pegasus said. "I'm just really excited."

Twilight smiled at the pony, "So, where do we start?" She asked

The Pegasus turned around to look at the portal she came from. "We go in to the portal." She said excitedly.

Twilight, however, was not as happy about that idea. "You want me to go in that thing!?"

"Uh..... Yeah." The Pegasus nodded.

"Well... Is it safe?" Twilight asked.

"Absolutely."

"Are you sure?"

"I just came out of it, didn't I?" The Pegasus stated.

Twilight sat there thinking for a minute. "Okay then, let's go." She said as she stood up and walked next to the Pegasus. The blue pony smiled then walked in to the portal with Twilight following behind.

As soon as both mares were in, the portal disappeared leaving Spike standing on the last stair.

"She left me," he said blinking a few times. "She left me all by myself."

He stood there thinking about what he just said. Slowly, a sly smile started to creep on to his face. This is going to be fun. He thought to himself as he started to laugh evilly.

---

A portal suddenly appears and out comes Twilight and the blue Pegasus. Once they were both out, the portal disappears. Twilight looked around and noticed that they were just outside her home.

"If we were just going outside why did we have to use the portal? Couldn't we have just walked out the door?" Twilight asked slightly annoyed.

"Because we aren't just outside your house, Twilight," the Pegasus said, "We are in my mind."

Twilight looked around shocked. It looked just like Ponyville, how could they be in her mind?

The Pegasus sighed, "I guess it's time to explain everything." This got Twilight's attention. She sat down and stared at the Pegasus.

"Here we go." the Pegasus said as she sat down as well, "First of all, my name is RagamuffinQ and I'm a writer, or at least I would like to be. I've never really written a story before. I'm also not a pony. I'm a human."

Twilight didn't seem shocked at all by that news. She just sat there perfectly calm. "You must be a Brony right?" She asked the Pegasus.

"Um... Yeah, how did you know?" RagamuffinQ asked.

Twilight stood up, "Oh, Bronies come here all the time. Sometimes they turn to ponies and sometimes they stay humans."

"Oh, that makes a lot of sense now that I think about it," Ragamuffin said. "Now back to to what I was saying. I've never written a story before, but that doesn't mean I haven't thought of a story. And that is what I need you for. I'm going to show you some of my story ideas and you are going to tell me what you think of them." She ended with a smile.

Twilight just stood there, not saying anything. Ragamuffin took that as a sign to continue. So she did, "Whenever we go through a portal we will be going to a different part of my mind with a different story idea. Right now, we are in my first story idea. I don't have a name for this story yet but it starts at Sugarcube Corner, so we better get going."

She stood up to leave when Twilight said, "Wait."

Ragamuffin looked at Twilight, "Yes?" She asked.

"How can you make portals when you're a Pegasus?" She asked slightly confused.

Ragamuffin only smiled sweetly and said, "We're in my mind, I can do anything here."

Twilight just shrugged and followed her to Sugarcube Corner. As they walked Twilight begin to notice something about the Ponyville they were in, so she asked Ragamuffin about it.

"If we are supposed to be in Ponyville, why aren't there any ponies on the street?"

Ragamuffin looked around, then at Twilight. "Well, this Ponyville was created for this story and I was paying more attention to Sugarcube Corner than I was to the background and streets." She answered as they approached the sweets shop.

As they walked through the door Twilight saw all of her friends sitting around a table in the middle of the shop. Along with her friends she also saw herself sitting at the table. The only difference between the two was the Twilight at the table didn't have wings. Twilight looked at her clone confused. She then looked over at Ragamuffin who was sitting down at a table in the corner. She walked over to the table when the Pegasus gestured for her to sit down.

"This is my first story idea," Ragamuffin said when Twilight sat down. "It's about Rainbow Dash's cousin coming to visit." She stopped talking to watch the group of friends start to talk about something. Their mouths where moving but nothing was coming out.

Twilight looked at Ragamuffin in confusion. "Why can't I hear them?" She asked.

"Because there is nothing to hear." RagamuffinQ replied. Twilight was still confused so Ragamuffin decided to explain a little more.

"I never got the chance to make up dialog for this part of the story. All I have is the fact that Rainbow doesn't like her cousin because she is a unicorn." She explained.

"What's wrong with unicorns?" Twilight asked slightly offended.

"Well there's nothing wrong with unicorns, it's just, in this story Rainbow's family is an only Pegasi family. They were born to be flyers and you can't be a flyer if you're a unicorn. But Rainbow's aunt married a unicorn and has been shunned by the family ever since." She said hoping to calm Twilight.

"Oh, okay then. It is your story after all."

Suddenly, the whole room turned white. Twilight looked around surprised.

"Well, that seem to be as far as I got in the story. Let's go, Twilight. The ending is waiting for us." Ragamuffin said as she walked towards a portal that had just appeared. She stepped in to the portal followed by Twilight.

---

A portal appeared near a field of tall grass. Two ponies stepped out of the portal and on to a dirt path that ran beside the field. They looked around the area when one of them started walking down the path.

"Come on, Twilight. It's this way." Ragamuffin said as she walked down the path. Twilight followed quietly behind, wondering just where they were going. After a few minuets they saw a cyan Pegasus mare hugging a white unicorn filly.

"You know what kid, I think you're my favorite cousin." Rainbow said to the filly.

"Rainbow Dash. I'm your only cousin." The filly said to her cousin.

Rainbow Dash hugged the filly even tighter then before. The two cousins slowly faded to white just like the rest of the world.

"THE FEELS!!" Ragamuffin said while fake crying.

"What?" Twilight asked.

"Internet thing. You wouldn't understand," Ragamuffin answered. "So, what did you think about the story?"

"Well....." Twilight started.

Author's Note:

Now you guys get to be Twilight and tell me what you thought of the story idea.

And the whole story if you want to.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Comments

[Metool Bard]

It's an interesting concept, but I think you're springing this on the wrong pony. Many words come to mind when I think about Rainbow Dash, but prejudice is not one of them (Zecora being an exception). Rainbow Dash typically looks at the content of one's character when judging somepony, not their outward appearance. Plus, she's the Element of Loyalty. That means she'll stand by you despite silly things like racial prejudice. So there's no reason for her to hate her unicorn cousin.

If you like this inter-racial story about overcoming prejudices, you might want to consider making the main character a member of the Apple family instead of Rainbow Dash. They're a family of Earth Ponies, so it's more likely that they would have a bias towards somepony who's not the same. Just, don't tell Applejack I said that.

All the best,
Twilight Sparkle

I'm always one for meta-contextual antics, and this certainly delivers. It's also like nothing I've ever seen before, so you're a pioneer now. The formatting is a bit wonky, and there's a bit too much telling and not enough showing. But given the nature of this story (if one could call it that), I don't have as much of a problem with it as I probably should (you still might wanna work on that, though).

Actually now that I think about it, this is more like an avant-garde RP than an actual story. Or an avant-garde brainstorm. Or some sort of RP-brainstorming hybrid. I know it's avant-garde.

You certainly get points in my book for trying something new, and it might be a good exercise to flex my RP muscles. So, you earned a fav and a like from me. Kudos.

[RagamuffinQ]

3484403 thanks for commenting!

I understand what you're getting at with the story idea, I really do. That was something I realized when thinking it up. That's why I was thinking of making it an alternate universe. (Also I made Rainbow's cousin before I even thought to make her Rainbow's cousin. The only reason I did was because when I colored her she turned out to look kinda like someone who would be related to Rainbow. It was stupid I know)

Now about the real story, I know that it's to much telling and not enough showing but I just thought it up while trying to fall asleep.

I'm a pioneer? Wow thanks, that means a lot.

Um... If you don't mind could you tell me how it's "wonky" please?

And one more thing, I don't want to sound stupid or anything but, what does Avant-Grade mean exactly?

Also, as for you think it's kinda like a RP, well that's because RPing is the closest thing I've come to actually writing a story.

[Metool Bard]

3484602 By "wonky," I mean it could use a bit of polishing. For example, this:

"Because we aren't just outside your house, Twilight." The Pegasus said, "We are in my mind."

Should be this:

"Because we aren't just outside your house, Twilight," the pegasus said. "We are in my mind."

There's a Writing Guide on the site if you need more clarification.

Also, avant-garde means a new and unusual idea, typically used to describe certain kinds of art or artists.

[RagamuffinQ]

3484655 I see what you mean. I'll go though and fix it.

[Leapingriver]

I'm not really sure what to think of it. There is the possibility of Dash's cousin being a Mary Sue or Dash being too big a jerk. However, this does have the potential to be a great story. I think it'll depend on what light you cast Dash in. If she is prejudice to her little cousin for being a unicorn it could be seen as very out of character for her, but since it is a family matter perhaps it's just what Dash has been geared to think. You'll have to tread carefully if Dash is going to be prejudice at first. One way I see this story playing the prejudice card, while still being relatively safe, is having her cousin not appear until the last third of the story. The first two-thirds can be used as build up to Rainbow Dash meeting her cousin. During this time perhaps Rainbow Dash is going through a variety of emotions: maybe she's nervous, feels like she wont be able to connect with her cousin since she's a unicorn, scared she'll be cast out of her family for talking to her aunt and cousin, worried that her aunt will be angry at her and treat her coldly or her cousin will be snooty and wont want to talk to her. There is a plethora of possibilities that can be utilized!

Wishing you the best of luck,
Twilight Sparkle
~
This was definitely something different, I thought it was cute. There are a few wonky parts here and there, using the quote below as an example: you don't have to say 'The filly said to her cousin.' we already know that Dash's cousin is logically the only one who could have responded to that. In this story I think the only reoccuring issue is that there are moments that you don't show, but tell. It doesn't detract from the story but it makes a few phrases a bit awkward.
kinda random, but the one thing that popped into my mind when I read this part

"You know what kid, I think you're my favorite cousin." Rainbow said to the filly.
"Rainbow Dash. I'm your only cousin." The filly said to her cousin.

was Scar: "I wouldn't anything to happen to my favorite nephew" Simba: "I'm you're only nephew" Scar: "All the more reason for me to be protective."

As for the story idea, the more I think about it the more I warm up to the idea; if you use the latter idea, Dash would be kind of like an audience surrogate, both are slowly being warmed up to and reassured of the coming meeting, and when it does happen the pay off will be so much greater. If I ever do see a certain story like that in the near future I'll be sure to give it a look, I'm sure that you can make something memorable. After all, you made a brony meets pony story very different from what usually pops up here, so kudos for making an original story. The level of interaction was also very different, I love that comment Twilight made about bronies always popping up in Equestria. It's very level headed: no explosions or world changing catastrophe. Quite refreshing indeed
*edit*
personally, I want to see what Spike does now that Twilight isn't around

[RagamuffinQ]

3485674 Good thing you want to know what Spike is doing because I was thinking about putting that in the next chapter or make a new chapter just for him. Just want to make sure that someone wanted that.

[Super Trampoline]

"Well... Is it safe?" Twilight asked.
"Absolutely."
"Are you sure?"
"I just came out of it, didn't I?" The Pegasus stated.

You can't argue with logic like that!

Now, Criticism, when you switch to your mind, the first sentence jumps into present tense for a bit for some reason.But I like how Twilight is used to random self-insert stories.

Ragamuffin looked around, then at Twilight. "Well, this Ponyville was created for this story and I was paying more attention to Sugarcube Corner then I was to the background and streets." She answered as they approached the sweets shop.

That "then" should be a "Than"

[Super Trampoline]

A portal appeared near a field of tall grass. Two ponies stepped out of the portal and on to a dirt path that run beside the field. They looked around the area when one of them started walking down the path.

should be "ran" not "run". also you have an extra spece between "path" and "that".

Otherwise, I like the random concept.

[RagamuffinQ]

3502341 I did that for reasons only I know.

[the one guy on the left]

It needs a little more of this!*makes cotton candy cloud that rains chocolate milk*CHOCOLATE RAIN!
-DiSc0ГD
(To defend this comment he's the living embodiment of chaos you point is invalid)