cool. please continue

I like how this is beginning, keep up the good work!

As far as critique goes, though, I must bring up how you have a lot of your text in massive blocks.  Normally, you begin a new paragraph each time a new idea begins OR somebody new speaks (i.e. Octavia speaks, new paragraph, then Skippy's reply is another new paragraph).  But other than my being a grammar Nazi, I have no problems with this story so far.

Nice start to the story. Good characterisation and writing style.

Just a few minor spelling and grammatical errors that I spotted but otherwise excellant

I like that you have given your own spin to the characters, not sticking to the usual fandom stuff and I'm looking forward to seeing where this leads

"I turned my head to see Pinkie Pie next to me in bed."

Oh...my...  *Now wondering what 'not anything bad' entails*

Anyways, keep up the story, I'm liking it!

This is starting to get interesting. Looking forward to some more.

I am loving this can't wait for more

Looking good so far *Watched and Tracked*

I'm enjoying the nice plot Arch that's building. Keep up the good work!

Octascratch? Yes please. Excellent stuff so far, looking forward to reading your next installment - don't keep us waiting too long!

Very good so far :D my only complaint would be that it felt a bit too rushed towards the end of this chapter.

>>370997370997

I agree, but a prolonged bar scene would've made for a long and possibly boring ending.

Wish I had done it anyway though!

Oh my goodness, this is sooo  worth the wait.

My face: YES UPDATE

Random Quote: SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

- Space Core from Portal 2

Wow, I was not expecting that xD keep up the great work!

I really like the story. Keep them coming.

Also is there another story of Vinyl & Octavia about their past. I am very curious of their past together and how they split up.

Hm. Seemed initially interesting, but it's gotten plain confusing at this point, I feel

>>373733373733

No other story from me about their past... Just... Wait...

>>373783373783

I'm going to pull a page from the Microsoft support center and say try reading the end of chapter 2 again and then look at chapter 3. If the problem persists then repeat step 2.

Obviously I don't mean that (too) seriously BUT I do agree that I took a few sharp turns in chapter 3...

Oh I got the flow from 2 to 3 just fine, but within chapter 3 it just seems to go utterly mad, very (too) quickly... I'd suggest maybe expanding a few of the scenes or something to let you stew in them a bit longer, have less confusion when switching around :)

>>374185374185

I do agree... And I had a few ideas That would extend each scene, but it would've been about 6K words! I'm still finding a balance in word count and detail...

Word count is unimportant. Or rather, more IS better (short of getting waaaaaaaay too floral with descriptions). But you want to describe the events, show them, expand on them if they need to be longer than what you have. So don't worry about a long chapter, really. People will read it even if it's long :)  if it's too short... there's a chance less will read.

>>374294374294

Hmmmm...

I like that time to write more chapter 4 and see how it comes out with more detail...

>>374386374386

Well, I'd advise against that and possibly reworking chapter 3 first. For me, at least, it's where I lost track of the fic... and if I lose track, I tend to lose interest in it. I love me some Octascratch, so seeing that happen is not good :P

With a bit of work, chapter 3 will be far more... legible is too strong a word but you get the idea. After that, chapter 4 can flow from there :)

really? Vinyl..

If that was me, i'd tell Octavia to fuck off. She dumped Vinyl, right? She has no right to be mad at Vinyl moving on.

so amazing! Please update soon! But I do have agree about the confusing parts, but after re-reading understood a lot better. Also, I read this whole thing three times, I love it that much.

With the first two chapters, I was not too sure of my opinion of this fic. Things are coming along nicely however, and I am excited to watch them develop

On an emotional note, Octavia is my favorite pony, and watching her pain and frustration from Vinyl's point of view is heart wrenching

I wish i could say my life has never been like that.... But sadly no. I have a profound understanding of what Vinyl is going through... Wanting only to make right what you have wronged... But only ever seeming to make things worse... much much worse... And her reaction to making it worse is the same as mine too. I quickly become tired... and fall asleep crying.

Gotta say I'm enjoying your story so far. I'll keep an eye on it and watch this story as it progresses. I hope Vinyl catches a break before life breaks her.

>>374496374496Maybe she never actually moved on?

>>379886379886

The plot thickens...

>>379955379955http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhMvKv4GX5U

>>379886379886

well, Octavia must think she has, kissing Pinkie and whatnot.

Really like it but please leave out the fanon creepy Pinkie stereotype in future.

It just felt out of place and disturbing. Don't go for cheap 'gags' like that.

But otherwise I can't wait for more and to solve the mystery of Octavia's strange actions.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU! I've been waiting for this story!

Nice one!

>>398577398577

Don't worry. The real chapter 4 is coming out in less than 12 hours!

Just keep twitching in the corner...

>>398836398836

yes*twitch* the corner....hehehe

great job with the chapter, your writing [and a shout out to the editors] keeps getting better with each chapter. Don't take too long on the next chapter, i'm intrested now.

I don't know what is going on this story and I'm okay with it. I hope it doesn't get too much more ridiculous. That would be overwhelming.

ill be waiting on monday love this story... keeps getting better!

>>408864408864

Eeyup.avi

You jerk. First you promise me 'less then 12 hours' then go and make it longer. Here. I quote 'Don't worry. The real chapter 4 is coming out in less than 12 hours!

Just keep twitching in the corner...'

and this was posted ' Posted 2 days, 10 hours ago

then you have the gall to cut off like this! UGH! and then that WAIT TILL MONDAY!?

UGH

>>409906409906

firstly- I blame college. And moving my servers (I do massive nerd stuff with huge computer hardware)

and to that second part...

I saw a rather dashing lavender mare rush up next to me, “Vinyl Scratch, how have you been?”

I turned around to see who it was. “Hey Twilight! Wow, last time I saw you was when your friends tore up the Royal Palace!”

So, she saw her rush up to her, yet she had to turn around to see who it was? That was the only thing that bothered me a bit, but other than that, I'm looking forward to reading the rest.

Arggggg, why does everypony but Octy want Vinyl's plot. And why does Vinyl make such bad choices. Arrrggg. And what really caused the breakup.....

Arrrggggg

>>421576421576

I rely on people like you to help me out when myself and my pre-readers & editors goof a bit.

Thanks! The edit has been made

>>424705424705

Always glad to help out.

*reads that next chapter would be posted next Monday*

brooooo, please continue ;w;

>>530786530786

HA. Don't worry I plan to. Finals and work (and fun work that involved concerts and lasers) has bogged me down recently but I have chapter 5 about half way done...

Don't worry, I don't think this story is even half way done!

Your fic's going in the featured box. Yes, it is.

Anyway, it's awesome!

Twilight why...

The wait was definitely worth it.

Twilight used Seduction. It's super effective!  

>>683818683818

Boy that sure would be cool...

And thanks! glad you like it.

Well worth the wait!

>>685941685941

Hasn't gotten "too overwhelming" yet?

>>688052688052

It's just good drama!

Spirit Of The Radio - Rush

MAGNICIFENT!

I was curious as to why, in the name of Celestia, Skippy always sorted CDs for me? I knew that he didn’t really like sorting, but why did he always sort CDs just for me?

Come now, Vinyl. I expect more from you; you should be able to draw the obvious conclusion, and if you've ruled it out you should know to mention that fact.

and left all the Radiohoof and Death Colt for Carrot records at home.

Aw, I love Radiohoof and Death Colt for Carrot! And Death Colt's songs aren't all introspective and withdrawn. Especially if you don't listen to the lyrics.

Though perhaps that should be "Death Cart for Cutie" or something . . . part of me wants to say "for Cutie Mark" but the rest says that's a terrible name. "Death Cart for Filly," maybe? It's at least not awful, I think, and it should get the idea across. It's the best I've got for the moment.

Actually, I'm just going to come out and generally disagree with how you ponify band names. Not that I'm really sure what you should be using other than "Radiohoof" and "The Hoof and the Heart," but I'm sure there exist alternatives that I'd like better. "The Head and the Hock" comes to mind, but I can't decide if it actually ought to . . . "Radiomane" also has some advocacy in my head, but again I suspect I'd be complaining about it if I hadn't come up with it. Maybe I just disagree with your choice of which bands to ponify.

You know that Scoots' eyes are purple, not blue, yes? I mean, there's forcing us to guess who a character is, and then there's outright lying to us to keep us from figuring it out.

She was screaming and trying to unplug her Cello, but it was too late. I had overloaded her transmitter and caused a fire to break out inside the instrument. She continued to wail as she sat next to the writhing piece of wood and metal, watching the strings break one by one.

Perhaps this is a bit out of hoof? I know not all ponies can deal with breakups like mature adults, but I would hope that the two of you could come to some agreement where you don't sabotage each other's instruments during performances.

And this is definitely going to help with your desire to get back together with her. Mares love it when you set their possessions on fire.

Uh, Want to go for a couple ciders? My treat.

Well you're sure acting pretty broken up about attacking the mare you still love for trying to say she hasn't forgotten you. Tavi's really going to love the way you were asking other mares out on dates within five minutes.

That was still underhanded of you, making Scoots look totally different and teasing us with a call to guess her identity. I shan't be retracting my disapproving undertones from earlier.

“Why aren’t you using your magic? You are a unicorn after all…”

I could explain that in two ways… both of which would alienate them and make them never talk to me again…

Tell me. Tellmetellmetellme!

I can tell you one thing: when Pinkie's involved, everything is always either exactly what you'd expect or something so nonsensical you'd never think of it. Second guesses need not apply.

But for reference, I doubt that either option resolves to something that's going to help you get back with Tavi. Certainly not door one, at least . . . though I've got a feeling you've gone through the much more frightening door two here.

I was almost certain that I was supposed to have Dash 182 on the air with me today for an interview and live performance!

Sweet!

but I have never heard of a couple breaking up because of dubtrot! It really is one of the silliest things I have ever heard

An immature breakup for an immature couple. Makes sense.

Okay, really? Am I reading a story about Vinyl, or am I reading a story about Dash? Did I miss the part where Scoots was flirting with Vinyl? Surely Scoots doesn't want to be the only pony in town not hitting on Vinyl.

“You know... we don’t have to walk back home. I have something better in mind.”

She flashed a seductive glance as she set her horn aglow.

Sure, Twi. If it makes you happy, your teleportation spell is very sexy. Why not.

You see, a couple of years ago back in college, we were frolicking through a field by Fluttershy’s house.

Were you now?

No, I'm serious. College students very rarely frolic. It tends to take more innocence than they have left.

So let me get this straight... she left you because of a cello? That seems a little... harsh.

Sounds about right to me. I mean, have you seen the way these two act? A five-year-old would be embarrassed to be seen with them when they're bickering.