Bad Habits

by Idylex

Chapter 4

It wasn’t until the fourth week of practice when Rainbow Dash felt it, and she REALLY felt it.

It was Tuesday, her second day of practice in the week, and Rainbow Dash was so rudely awakened by her alarm clock which was set to 6:30am, allowing herself an hour and a half before practice to prepare for the day.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes shot open and slowly she began nodding back into her sleep, but the alarm clock wouldn’t let her.

Rainbow Dash! Time for school! She remembered fondly.

Five more minutes, Dad!

Rainbow Dash reached one hoof out and quickly pulled back. A sharp pain like being pricked with a needle stung her ankle and hung there for several seconds. She tried once more and hit the snooze button on her alarm, then quickly pulled her hoof back and cradled it. The pain like tiny needles went all up and down her leg.

She forced herself up and threw her hind leg over the side of the bed. Every muscle in her body seemed to be screaming in harmony, but her wings got the worst of it. Her joints hurt like a bitch. Rainbow Dash did her best not to move her wings too much but found that hurt even more, so she just let her wings hang limply at her side. She rubbed the base of her spine and laughed to herself.

I feel like an old stallion, Rainbow Dash thought.

She brought her hind legs down onto the cloud palace floor, then her front legs and quickly collapsed onto one knee. Her legs felt like spaghetti. Rainbow Dash kneeled on the floor for a few seconds until she told herself to get the fuck up and get ready.

How did I allow myself to end up like this? She asked herself. I’m too young to be dealing with this. I have to get ready for practice.

She forced herself up and took slow, steady steps to the door. Every little movement she made was tremendously sore and awkward, and by the time she had her hoof on the door handle she was ready to collapse again.

You can’t go to work like this, she thought. Rainbow Dash opened the door and stepped into the hall. And you sure as hell can’t go to practice.

Fuck you, I can’t! She replied to herself.

Rainbow Dash took two steps then stopped to let the pain pass, emitting a long, soft grunt through her lips. She took another, paused, then another. The next one was particularly painful, so much so that Rainbow Dash quickly took her hoof off the floor and stumbled against the wall. A great deal of pain shot into her elbow and echoed throughout her whole body. She let out a small cry but quickly muffled it behind the walls of her gritted teeth.

You wanna tell me that again? Her body questioned stubbornly.

I’m just a little sore is all. She answered.

Rainbow Dash calmed herself then slowly but surely made her way into the kitchen. She reached into the freezer and pulled out a box of toaster waffles. She walked to the toaster sitting on the kitchen counter then dropped the box and moaned when she thumped her leg on the table. She rubbed her leg with one hoof and picked up the box with the other, then popped two waffles into the toaster.

Rainbow sat down at the kitchen table and continued to rub her leg, cursing under her breath while doing so. The toaster DINGed and Rainbow Dash grabbed the butter and syrup from the fridge and ate. She threw her plate into the sink, then grabbed a head of lettuce from the fridge and bent down to put some pieces in Tank’s bowl.

Rainbow Dash soon found herself unable to stand up straight. She tried to stand up, then was stopped by a sharp pain at the base of her spine. She placed her hoof again on her back and forced herself up, gritted her teeth through the pain, then stopped at the sound of nasty POP. She let out a sigh of relief and twisted her back until another loud pop squeezed through her bones. Rainbow Dash rubbed her back, feeling much better but still terribly sore.

That's what you get when you don't do your hoof-ups right, she thought. Back pains in your twenties. Maybe just ONE day off wouldn’t hurt…

Rainbow Dash thought this over, then concluded that one day off would be best for her health. Doctor Rainbow’s professional diagnosis. She called in too sick to practice or work, doing well to avoid any questions thrown at her by Spitfire or her boss, then slept in her bed for another six hours.

When she woke up the second time that day it was 12:46pm. She felt much more energized and slightly less sore, but still very much so. And hungry. She dragged herself out of bed and microwaved a pack of ramen noodles from the closet, then thought about what she was going to do that day.

Perhaps she would go Sugar Cube Corner and have a few drinks and sweets with Pinkie, or maybe she’d drop by Rarity’s and see what was up. But she would probably want to put bows in her hair and make her try on a new dress... Rainbow grimaced. Applejack might be able to get off the farm for a bit to get a few drinks, if not maybe Twilight or Fluttershy, or all three. Rainbow Dash decided she would try and see if any of her friends had any free time, and if not, there was no harm in going for a few drinks by herself.

She sniffed her pits.

But maybe I should take a bath first…

After eating, Rainbow Dash went into her bathroom and ran the water. Her luxurious bathroom was filled with a white tile floor and a granite countertop and sink. A cabinet and mirror hung above the sink filled with a variety of creams and headache pills and shampoos. Rainbow Dash opened the cabinet and pulled out a packet of scented bath soaps. She would probably kill herself if the other ponies found out she used something so… “fru fru”, but she was only one of two of her friends that could actually stand in her house so there was no fear. She ripped open the packet and watched as it bubbled and popped when it ran under the faucet.

She turned to examine herself in the mirror and notice several new additions to her beautiful face. Her mane was a mess, her eyes were red and blood shot from exhaustion, and several new bags had appeared under eyes. She looked like shit; She felt like shit.

"Damn..." She said, examining the bags under her eyes.

When the tub was about three quarters of the way full she turn off the faucet and slowly slid herself down into it. All of her muscles let out a sigh of relief as she slid deeper and deeper into the water, and Rainbow Dash too let out a long sigh. She breathed in and out slowly, basking in the scent of cherry blossoms and enjoying the moment for as long as she could, knowing she wouldn’t be take a day off like this again.

Can't let myself get lazy, she thought. No more days off. I've been letting myself go too slow already.

She had. Rainbow Dash noticed and was almost certain that Spitfire and the other Wonderbolts had noticed too. The constant exercise and work was beginning to get to her. The soreness, the tiredness, getting up at 6:30, working late and weekends, the upcoming show, the dread, the excitement, the nervousness, the fear, it was all starting to show in her tired eyes...

Rainbow Dash lowered her head in the water, leaving her nostrils just above to breath, closed her eyes and cleared her head.

She thought about her friends and family, and how proud they must be for her. She thought about the show and saw herself perfecting that new routine and wowing the audience. They would all be clapping and cheering and waving banners. Her friends and family would be there, hopping up and down and calling out her name. Rainbow Dash would casually give a friendly wave , trying to not over do it but also trying act cool. Kids would want her autograph, and everything would be fine.

Perfectly fine.

Unless she screwed up.

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and fully submerged herself underwater.

And just the very thought horrified Rainbow Dash, and every time she thought of it she tried to push it away but it always came crawling back like a bad itch.

What if I forget what to do or mix it up and make a complete fool out of myself? What if I clip my wing and crash just like First-Aid did? What if I’m too tired and fall behind and everypony laughs?

What if I couldn’t do it in the first place?

This was Rainbow Dash's greatest fear. Maybe she just wasn't able to keep up with the physical endurance and stamina that the other Wonderbolts possessed. And worse yet, what if the other Wonderbolts realized this?

Rainbow brought herself up again and pushed her mane out of her eyes.

Rainbow had prided herself on being the fastest pony in Equestria, but the fact was she just wasn't a natural born athlete like Soarin or Spitfire. Sure, she won the Young Flyers Competition, but was that really all that much of an accomplishment? It was just pure adrenaline that allowed her save her friend and perform a Sonic Rainboom. Could she do that at anytime? Stamina and speed aren't worth shit if you can't maintain it.

Had she ever once bothered to stretch before practice? How many hours had she spent sleeping and eating junk food when the Wonderbolts were out practicing and perfecting their techniques?

Too many, she thought. And she kicked herself over and over again for that.

How could I be so stupid as to let myself do that!? I’ve anticipated this my entire life but never thought to prepare for it?! I’m an obese old mare compare those ponies! Stupid! Fucking stupid!

Rainbow Dash massaged her mane with shampoo and conditioner, got out of the tub and dried herself off, mumbling under her breath.

Oh jeez, she thought, Rarity! That’s right!

Rarity had invited her and the rest of her friends to tea at two o'clock. Rainbow Dash had completely forgotten. What time was it now? She went to kitchen and checked the clock on the wall; it read 10 minutes to 1:30.

Rainbow Dash didn't really feel like going a tea party, but she already blew them off once before.

At quarter to two, Rainbow Dash grabbed her coat and stepped outside to be embraced by the wind and figured out her first problem. Rarity’s home was in Ponyville several miles away, on the ground. Her home was on a cloud several miles into troposphere and the only way to get down was flying.

Rainbow Dash rubbed her hooves and flapped her wings as a test. Still pretty sore but manageable for a short time. She dug her hoof into the cloud platform and felt the soft sting like needles in her muscles. It hurt, but again, manageable. The wind blew against the right side of her face at maybe 20 miles per hour. She imagined in her head how get to the ground with minimal pain and figured out how she wanted to do it. Instead of actually flying she would unfold her wings and glide down, twisting her body left and right to steer like any foal does when they’re first learning to fly. The only tough part would be the landing; slowing down without moving her wings too much would be a problem but she was sure that she could land safely if a bit rough.

Rainbow Dash unfolded her wings completely, flinching at the pain in her joints, then kicked herself off the platform.

She soared freely through air, enjoying the familiar feeling of the wind against her feathers and face. She tilted her body to the right and crashed head-first into a cloud which disappeared with a poof, then glided to her left and flew back and forth between the oncoming clouds.

Rainbow Dash could clearly see Ponyville a few miles ahead and tilted her body into a nose dive, picking up speed. Right before hitting the ground she pulled up into steady glide just a few feet above the dirt. She placed her hooves down and dragged them across the ground, slowing herself to a dead stop.

“Hi, Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow Dash looked down. Scootaloo was on her trusty scooter, looking up at her idol with her big adorable eyes.

“Hey kid, what are you doing?” Rainbow Dash asked

“We’re going to get our cutie marks for animal herding!”

“Animal herding?” Rainbow Dash sneered. “Couldn’t you go for a cutie mark in something more… fun?

Scootaloo frowned. “We need to try everything or else we might miss our special talents. I haven’t seen you in forever, Rainbow Dash!”

“Yeah… Sorry Scoot, I’ve been so busy with practice and work, I haven’t had time to do much else.”

“What’s it like flying with the Wonderbolts? It must be so cool! I asked my mom to take me to see you guys in Las Pegasus, but she says she doesn’t have time to fly all that way. I think she’s just being cheap.”

Rainbow Dashed ruffled her mane and she blushed deeply. “Well, it ain’t cheap, kid. Don’t worry, though. You’ll get to see us when we come to Ponyville. Now run along before Applebloom and Sweetie Belle forget you.”

“But… where are you going?”

“I’m heading over to Rarity’s for some tea.”

“Can we hang out sometime this week?”

Rainbow Dash pretended to think about this. “Weeeeellllll…” She started. “I’ll have to move some stuff around, but yeah.”

Scootaloo squealed in delight. “Awesome! Okay, I gotta go. See ya later!” Scootaloo hopped back on her scooter and zoomed down the street.

Sweet kid, Rainbow Dash thought.

She began towards Rarity's when she was met with a familiar wobbly feeling in her legs. Rainbow Dash sighed. She was still very tired but simply shook it off. She still had the whole day ahead of her.

Comments

[Puzzle Piece]

Round Three:

[stepped into 5 hall.]
-I think you accidentally a word there.
[have a few drinks and and sweets with Pinkie,]
-And an extra "and".
[She sniffed her armpit.]
-Arms? 'nuff said.
[it bubbled when it ran under the faucet the pop.]
-"the pop" seems out of place.
[I’m obese old mare compare those ponies!]
-I believe "an" should come between "I'm" and "obese".
[The first of houses and shops breezed past her ]
-Did you mean "The first of the houses"?
[felt for any pain, and yep.]
-"yep" is just left hanging. You might consider extending that part a bit. Something like this: ", and yep, there it was."
[and Sweetie Belle forget you/”]
-Looks like you missed the right key by a hair.
[winced a pain in her hoof.]
-Did you mean "at the pain"?

I know what it's like to be a sprinter trying to compare to cross-country runners. I've got speed but my endurance sucks. Over all, I'm interested. Not enough is done yet for me to vote so I'll leave that for later. For now, keep it up and good luck. Also, if you want me to stop leaving edits like this, just say so.

[Idylex]

3558294
Thanks, but I was kinda hoping for advice rather than editing... Thanks anyways! I always knew that my grammar was bad but I didn't know it was THAT bad. I'll change those and triple check next time.

[Idylex]

Oh, and whatever you feel like doing is completely up to you. You don't have to edit if you don't want to but I really appreciate it. Also, thanks for the feedback. I always enjoy hearing what people like and dislike about my work so I can improve, so the feedback is really appreciated.

[Puzzle Piece]

3561142
If I were going to give this a review, I'd start with the way Rainbow's thoughts are presented. They are presented as a conversation between herself and herself and the two versions are in conflict. While this is interesting and I can completely understand it, it was slightly distracting to have to piece together which side of the exchange was which. The problem arises from not having any distinction between the first one talking and the other that responds. One way to avoid this small problem would be to add a description that showed how her thoughts reacted. As an example:
"You wanna tell me that again?" her body seemed to reply.
This is in no way needed to make it work as an element of the storytelling and if you find that it loses the intended result, disregard it.
Moving on to the content itself. I noticed a lot of description in Chapter 2 about the physical weariness Rainbow was dealing with but almost no actual scenes with the exercises causing them. It feels like a portion of the story is missing when she wakes up suddenly overwhelmed by all the work she's been doing to prepare for the upcoming performance. Again, it isn't necessary because you did a good job of filling that in with Rainbow thinking back on the training. It just jumped ahead in the timeline so far that it seemed to skip a beat.
The descriptions themselves are very well done and give valuable insights into Rainbow's thoughts on the world around her. Good description, in my opinion, is what makes a good story good. The sinister nature of the tags and the intro would normally turn me away but I've stuck around because you are telling the story well. I reserve final judgment until I've seen more.

I hope this is more what you were looking for. I am a bit of a fanatic about making suggestions and corrections so, sorry about that.
This fic isn't top of the line but it beats the crowd by a mile. Keep it up and I look forward to seeing more.

[FlamingSkullMon]

3561233 You should continue! The story is amazing so far! I favorited it and I'm just waiting for more updates!

[Idylex]

4302670 I don't know... This story borderlines being really good and silly and ridiculous, and I'm afraid If I don't approach this veeeery carefully it will turn out stupid and i'll look like an idiot. I appreciate the comment, and ill think it over.

[FlamingSkullMon]

4310581 Bro. Not everyone is perfect. If it turns out silly, then at least we can have a laugh. If it turns out good, then it's still a great story. You won't please everyone. Just go with it!