Twilight's brother is coming to town and when he gets there, two mares find themselves in love with the stallion. Things may not go as well as everypony hopes however.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 1st Feb, 2012
- offline last seen Mar 2nd, 2016
Shorty Sparkle
I am a Brony from Florida here to spread the Fanficion love. I plan on writing some awesome stuff for at least the next month. I hope you all enjoy my pony stuff.
Shorty Sparkle
Joined 1st Feb, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Nom_deCheval · 6.8k words · 240 8 · 7.9k views
- XSomeGuyX · 41k words · 357 22 · 11k views
- Aura Zero · 6.3k words · 176 12 · 5.7k views
- That Drunk Pony · 21k words · 231 23 · 10k views
- Vedues · 48k words · 491 16 · 6.6k views
- ReflectedApples · 5.5k words · 92 6 · 2.6k views
- Craine · 14k words · 516 16 · 14k views
- Drake Redwing · 24k words · 50 4 · 664 views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.095 seconds
Total duration
1,025 users online
236,691 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Idk what to say... Saucy? Really? Really saucy?
oc x canon
............................................________........................
....................................,.-‘”...................``~.,..................
.............................,.-”...................................“-.,............
.........................,/...............................................”:,........
.....................,?......................................................\,.....
.................../...........................................................,}....
................./......................................................,:`^`..}....
.............../...................................................,:”........./.....
..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../.....
............./__.(.....“~-,_..............................,:`........../........
.........../(_....”~,_........“~,_....................,:`........_/...........
..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}...........
...........((.....*~_.......”=-._......“;,,./`..../”............../............
...,,,___.\`~,......“~.,....................`.....}............../.............
............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-”...............
............/.`~,......`-...............................\....../\...................
.............\`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....\,__...........
,,_..........}.>-._\...................................|..............`=~-,....
.....`=~-,_\_......`\,.................................\........................
...................`=~-,,.\,...............................\.......................
................................`:,,...........................`\..............__..
.....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``.......
........................................_\..........._,-%.......`\...............
...................................,<`.._|_,-&``................`\..............
TBH, i saw a lot of potential in this story. I could live with the name, but it felt entirely rushed. There wasn't a lot of conflict either, and I was hoping to see you write into the minds of AJ and rarity, or include the other ponies in it as well.
It wasn't terrible, though.
294516 I will go threw it and revise it. I will add what you said. Sorry, this is my 3rd writing ever and I did get a little bit excited near the end and rushed to finish it. I really need to follow my guidlines better. Come back later today to see the revised version.
294658
yup. I'm too shy to write my own fanfic. IMO, just go back and draw it out. Write some conflict into it. You could add 1-2 more chapters as well.
294661
Chapters? I was just planning on this being a one shot... I guess that maybe it would be a good idea. Let me just see how it pans out after making these revisions I am making currently. It will have a bit more 
and 
so you can be happy to see those two. Not sure how to throw dash into this though.
294420 Honestly, I don't see what is so wrong about that. It isn't like I made this character that could never be in the Canon world. I made a character that actually makes sense and could easily be intergrated into the pony world. Well, maybe not the ending part but you get the idea.
And in my defense. It isn't like there are a lot of Canon stallions I could use. Maybe Big Mac but there isn't a chance that Rarity would fall in love with him and Applejack is his SISTER! Maybe Flithy Rich for Rarity but be honest. Can you see Applejack liking him? I don't think so. The stallions in MLP are not extremely diverse and there are not many choices to begin with.
Interesting end, OCxCelestia heh, I wonder if Twilight knows *hoof rests on chin*
294780 Wait about 5 minutes for the updated version. Atleast a thousand more words and views from Rarity and Applejack. Along with an added Musical Number from none other than
Updated the story! I think it is now 20% cooler... I am sorry... That is way too overused...
Check out the bottom of the page to see what I edited if you aren't having any luck finding the edits.
Sorry i didn't get around to reading it earlier. I liked this version better. Good job on that ^>^
It's uncanny though, i was reading ED the other day and saw the rumour about twilights brother... and i thought to myself "I JUST READ A FANFIC ABOUT THIS."
302094 I literally screamed when I read that. It is amazing though.
I predicted she had a brother - (Wrong name but whatever)
I predicted her brother worked for the princess - (Not a chef but by the looks of it a royal gaurd)
If he ends up being hitched to Princess Celestia then I want front page on EQD. No questions asked.
On the otherhand. That completely un-canoned my story in less than 24 hours.
302099
Yup. Hopefully it's there on ED if that happens. Perhaps more people will give you better tips than i, if you decide to write another fanfic. Also, i saw your comment about it being hard to match certain ponies. the rarity/bigmac one caught my eye because i just finished up a story about them, which was a pretty good way of putting them together
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/13598/The-Lucky-One (not sure if you've read it or not) Also, i hope you make another fanfic. Perhaps you can make one w/ dash's parents? :D
302110 I will read it for sure!
As for a story with RD's parents... That gives me an AMAZING idea. I swear my imagination just came up with 3 different stories I could do with that. One sticks out rather like a sore thumb. Thanks for that idea sir! Keep an eye out for it. Cause I will be writing it!
''Two quick notes here:
1)When you have Saucy talking about his cutie mark story, you forgot to capitilze the 't' in Twilight's name.
2)When AJ and Twilight are talking about her liking Saucy, you have a brief moment when you switch the point of view, mid-way through.
'“Oh, right. I promise” Twilight almost deflated. She wanted to see what would happen but I guess that hearing about it would have to do.. “Well, I wish you luck. ‘Sis’” She winked at Applejack for that last part.'
Other then some small spelling mistakes that can be attributed to typing fast, it was an all around good story. Good job!
442388 Dude, you late. I finished revising this story as soon as mister Shield joined the light (which was less than 24 hours after finishing BTW) I honestly have a strong hatred towards Twilight's real brother for screwing over my hard work!
Although, I did guess EVERY aspect about that ending.
Twilight has a brother
Her brother works for the Princess
AND he has a thing for a princess!
How awesome is my fortune telling?
Stay tuned for more of my SLIGHTLY off predictions. Whats next? Perhaps Rainbow Dash DOES have a parent that was a wonderbolt but it was her MOM not her dad. Or maybe we will learn that Soarin is married to a wonderbolt but it isn't Spitfire which would kinda kill fanon and stuff. Possibly we could see Radio invented but by the wrong ponies! (Heh, Spooooilers!)
Love the enthusiam there!
Also looking forward to reading some more great work from you.
446127 Well then keep looking out for Origins of a Rainbow. I hope to update it soon however I have been EXTREMELY busy and I am running out of town for the weekend so I may not get a chance to write then. I already have most of the chapter written out but I keep getting time blocked and only getting the chance to write a paragraph at a time or sitting looking at the screen thinking of something to write. I am hitting a bit of a block to what I am going to write for Apple Cider's Wonderbolts rescue story so hold tight for that one.