Main Bio on profile. Favorite pony is Applejack, however, Fluttershy will always have my heart. Spike is best character to me. I'm a gamer, writer, and love to read. Photo by Joakaha from DeviantArt
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Spike has a secret...well, its not really one since everypony knows it. However, the secret that they all know isn't the secret Spike hopes no one will find out about. No, this secret goes deeper; A secret that has been kept hidden behind many masks and white lies. Its a secret that Spike is both blessed and cursed with, for with each passing day, he is reminded of that secret. So, the time has come...the day when one's resolve to hide a secret has fractured...
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Wow! Bad likes just started to flow!
~Azalea
I love your idea, were Spike has a hidden crush on Twilight.
Pretty good keep it up
So Rarity must be a cover crush, and Spike is more aware than he lets on.
5641854
Meh, I figure its either haters or Sparity lovers.
5642332
Thanks! It was always my opinion that Spike secretly loves Twilight.
5642676
Ah sure will!
5643865
very aware.
5642332
whoa. spoiler alert. -_-
5645208
Is it? I thought it was obvious.
5642332
Do me a favor if you will and cover that last past with a spoiler bar.
5645225
it may have been obvious but I'm the kind of person that generally, when I see a spoiler for a story that I'm about to read, it makes me want to read the story less because I already know the "twist" that's coming up. it's just a thing for me.
5645240
Makes sense. Since I now know that it could be a spoiler for others, I'll correct it since there are so few comments.
5645246
This was good. I look forward to more.
Like like this more plz
5645365
Don't worry, the rest is already done. It will be out tomorrow. Didn't want to post just yet.
5645850
And there will be more tomorrow.
5646912
Soon, my friend.
I love the start! you simply must finish it! MUST.
5647063
I'm just holding the chapter til tomorrow.
Its finished, don't worry.
5647057
I'm really glad it interests you so much.
5647075 Yay!
I want more
!
5655788
You shall have more.
Didnt see the incomplete tag until after reading, I was very thoroughly puzzlwonked after reasin the second chapter.
5657675
Did you see the Authors note?
5657694 Sorry, my brain goes screwy quite a bit and I miss that kind of stuff.
5657714
All is forgiven
This is getting interesting
The plot thickens.
5658592 Giggidy.
5658289
Great to know!
5658592
It's climax is soon.
私はこの馬についての悪い感じを持っている
Hmm what going on?
I'm looking forward to see how this turns out.
stay classy
5663342
?
5663777
about?
5665215
You will find out soon.
I love this but is this the end? :((
5741410
Of this story? yes. Of this idea? Eenope.
5741461 the ship will rise again?
Like the phonixe!
あなたはおもちゃのネジ、それは次のように終了することはできません！
5741484
So, like this perhaps?
5741484
Sorry, I meant there might be a possible spinoff to this
Long story, short I liked it... But I didn't love it. Still worth an upvote though!
Now for the long version! *Lifeless Party Horn*
I liked the concept of the story for a start; yes I am fan of Spilight, but more the whole idea that Spike has the feelings, without being able to comfortably share them, that concept got me intrigued. It's an interesting angle and creates a nice sense of drama and potential DAAAAAAAWWWWW moments. This story certainly had some good portions of that! I admit, the scene where Spike see's Twilight and Caramel kiss and runs of to compose himself hit me quite hard; I think I needed a moment too, that was a nice, well handled part. The pacing wasn't too shabby either; it didn't feel too forced and unnatural, I did like how the characters were written and overall, was inevested to see where it was going!
BUT! The Devil, as they say, is in the detail; and I think that's my main problem with this tale. It's a quick flash inspiration I know, and it's one of those quick ideas you pen down; I appreciate that, been there! But the lack of detail in parts really does show and subrtacts from the whole thing; for me anyway. I mean, in the scene where Spike tells Applejack he dosen't love Rarity really it was just kind of handled like 'well moving on'. I mean, considering how he acts on the show - completely lovestruck and pining for Rarity (From what I interpret anyway) - it might have helped to have a small inuniverse explanation for this reveal; or at least a question or two as to his actions from Applejack.
My other niggle with this story - that I admit is small but it bothered me - is the seperating of pargraphs with the line spacings; the lines across the page (Why yes, I did forget the termanology for it, was it obvious). I think it's because my mind has been used to thsi meaning we're changing characters or prespectives, adn to be fair, you did this with a few of them. But that fact you did it after a small few line paragraph, only to stay with the same character on an occasion or two made me pause for a second while my head readjusted; just kinda took me out of the story. Yes, this is a small gripe, but hey, I once heard having a small gripe means it's because their aren't many big problems, so I guess that means I couldn't find much else to complain about.
Like I said at the start, I did like this story overall, but I just feel it's a bit unrealised is all. But considering I've seen you hint that you might wrtie a sequel/Spinoff, I look forward to see what you come up wth! I shall keep my eye's peeled on that front. In any case, thanks for a nice little read.
5749629
Wow it felt good reading that.
First of let me thank you for commenting exactly what you thought of my story. Now about your first comment I do agree with you. I also had a hard time on that part and don't really like how it turned out either. Might be a change in the future.
And Ill try my best to remove a few of those lines through the page...forgot what they're called too
5751259 You're most very welcome!
Looking forward to see what else you have in store!
Might just back into MLP now. Anyway this is amazing , reading more now.
Chapters, beautiful chapters!!! Lol