There are a lot of spelling and grammar errors, paragraphs are too long and dialogue should be separated from the rest of the paragraphs. I'm no expert though, I have been criticised a lot about technical parts of my writing and I have been taking advice improving. I've also had a lot of practice writing, I'm also probably older then you.
So although I don't think this is very good I can see potential and I don't want you to give up from bad reviews. Normally I would stop reading here, but out of appreciation I will see it through the other two chapters.
Wow, rainbow is doing this too quickly. You date someone for a while then you get a ring, you don't ask them out and then rush off to get a ring immediately
There are a lot of spelling and grammar errors, paragraphs are too long and dialogue should be separated from the rest of the paragraphs. I'm no expert though, I have been criticised a lot about technical parts of my writing and I have been taking advice improving. I've also had a lot of practice writing, I'm also probably older then you.
So although I don't think this is very good I can see potential and I don't want you to give up from bad reviews. Normally I would stop reading here, but out of appreciation I will see it through the other two chapters.
Wow, rainbow is doing this too quickly. You date someone for a while then you get a ring, you don't ask them out and then rush off to get a ring immediately
Why did you ask us not to ask how Twilight closed the door? We'd just assume that she closed it with her magic or her tail.
...
this doesnt even make sense Spike likes Rarity not RD but maybe this shall turn out good
wait, wait wait, let me read the synposis again... this is a rdxspike fic? Exit stage right XD.......
What the fuck was that.
1981548
It was the intro to the story