Sleeping on the floor that night was much harder than he thought. As he tried to relax, he would find a comfortable spot, start thinking, get uncomfortable, and then have to move. He didn't want to sleep outside, given he would soak in the humidity and likely catch cold. He was too tired and frustrated to bring the pew in, either. His thoughts would buzz and skitter about his head like insects, forcing him to twist and turn.
You have no idea... they said.
How could you be so cruel? So ignorant...
"Ugh... to what?" Comet called out into his empty house. His only response until he tried to sleep again was the whir and click of his equipment.
Comet... it sounded like Cupid.
Comet... it sounded like Twilight Sparkle.
He rolled onto his stomach, staring into the black. What in the heck was going on?
"I don't know what you're talking about." This darkness was getting on his nerves. "Why can't they be just my friends?"
I don't want to be just your friend. I never wanted to be just your friend, the ghost Cupid whispered.
Would you pick her over me? the ghost Twilight pouted.
"What...? You don't even like me! You ignore me, and say weird things when I talk, and kick me out of your house!"
A knock at the door stirred Comet from his imaginary argument. At this time of night? He walked over and reluctantly opened the door, mortified to find Twilight Sparkle there. She had a look on her face he didn't recognize.
"Comet..." her voice was barely a whisper as she leaned in to him. Her lips curved to a small, delicate pucker.
"Whoa! Whoa whoa!" Comet flung himself back. He rolled on the floor and found something else to look at. "Listen, Twilight... I..."
"Twilight?" He cringed when he heard Cupid's voice from the doorway. Dissident to turning to look, he found that it was now Cupid that stood there, hung up in the same position. "Forget about Twilight Sparkle. I'm here for you, Comet..." She moved into the house.
"No..." Comet shook his head. His skull throbbed, his heart pounded, his adrenaline pumped through his veins. He found it disconcerting that it was not a bad feeling. "I don't know! I can't! It's... it's..."
"Just relax, Comet..." Twilight-Cupid sat down next to him, a Picasso of the two unicorns. "I'm here to help you..." Their voices said in unison. Comet tried to resist and get up the stairs, but his arms and legs wouldn't work. She put him down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, until all he saw was Twilight-Cupid over him. His eyes closed, and his heart raced in his ears. A knock on the door caused him to sit up, in reflex.
Comet blinked. He had traveled all the way across the floor to the stairs, where he lay in his dream. The sun burned his eyes, which watered in the morning light. He put a hoof up to his face. Of course it was a dream. It didn't make any sense. "I mean... I'm not even attracted to---" a slightly irritated knock on the door reminded Comet of what had saved him from the Cupid-Sparkle in his dream. He got up and brushed himself off, and tried to compose himself as he opened the door. He didn't care that there was nobody actually at the door. As he stared off into the beautiful morning, he realized that he really didn't want anyone to be at the door. He shut it again. He was exhausted, and his back ached. Looking around his room, he realized he had nothing to do here, and that he might as well head down into Ponyville, now that he was up.
He was hungry. A hot breakfast sounded like a pleasant change of pace. Ponyville was already up and about by the time he got down into town. Shopkeepers sold, pedestrians did their merry thing, and Comet ignored all of them. It was all dwarfed in comparison to the smell coming from his preferred restaurant. He showed up at the gate for an outdoor table and the waitress happily seated him.
"Gosh, Comet," she already knew what he wanted to drink, and sat it down on the table, "You look terrible. Rough night?"
"Y-yeah..." He blinked. He forgot to freshen up before he left. His mane was a tangled mess, his eyes baggy, face sweating. A perpetual frown of being uncomfortable in his own skin hung on his face. "I had some uh... trouble with my floor."
The waitress didn't feel she understood, but she didn't press the matter. "What can I get you?"
"Food." The tone of his voice made his comment much less entertaining. He downed his orange juice and flopped down onto the table. He had never been so exhausted in his whole life. The waitress checked to make sure the cook was busy, and sat down across from him.
"Do... do you want to talk about it? I'm here for you, Comet." Her voice echoed his dreams from the night before. He cringed.
"Please... I just want some food. Something hot. Something really, really hot." The waitress nodded. She felt bad for him, but she knew that pushing him could cause him to push back, and she was legitimately afraid of what he would say or do in this state. As she walked away, Comet sighed. He should apologize to her. She probably could help him. She had every other time he sat down at this table. When she returned, she had a skillet of vegetable fajitas. The stuffed bell peppers sizzled and spit at him from the pan. He scrunched up his face as he bit into one. It was hot. The temperature burnt his tongue, and the taste burned his throat. His eyes watered.
"Everything okay?" The waitress felt bad, but it was what he asked for.
"It's perfect," Comet swallowed. He was going to need more juice for this. "Listen... I'm sorry, I just had a really---" He cracked his neck, and he felt a little better at that, "---a really rough night."
The waitress sat down and tried again, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Comet had some of his onions. They were much better than the bell peppers. "Have you... have you ever liked someone... different than you?"
The waitress considered all the possible implications of his sentence. She had frankly no idea what he was talking about. "Different... how?" The look on her face suggested that he needed to approach it a different way. He got down low, steam from his food engulfing his face. He whispered softly to her.
"Have you ever... liked two people at the same time?" The waitress leaned back and laughed. That was what this was all about? She felt bad when she found he was completely serious, and a bit put off by her laughter.
"Yeah, Comet. It's totally normal?"
"Even if they're... different?"
"What does this different you keep mentioning entail?"
"Well... they're unicorns..." Comet looked away when he said it. He had no idea what to make of it.
She blinked at him. She had no idea he was so old-fashioned. "Are they bad people because of that?"
"No!" Comet took a large bite of a number of different vegetables to fill his face. He swallowed hard. "No, they aren't at all. One is kind, and intelligent, and headstrong, and talented... and the other was someone that I was able to count on since I was little. She's pretty, and stubborn, and smart..." Although Comet knew what he was talking about, the waitress found he gave the exact same description for two different ponies.
"Are they... similar?"
"No way. Totally different ponies." The waitress nodded. Of course they were. It had been a long time since she had felt like that about someone. "Do you have butterflies in your stomach?"
"If they are made of lead and anchors."
"Uh... head swimming?"
"Like a lake."
"Hooves shaking?"
"I figured that was from the terrible sleep last night."
"Jeez, Comet. It's almost as if you aren't enjoying this." Comet's eye twitched at this comment. The only reason he came here was because he wasn't enjoying this.
"Am I supposed to?" Comet knew he was angry because he was grumpy, and did his best to contain it.
"It's not a bad thing. Healthy even." He yawned. His look of disbelief made her a little irritated. "Look, just trust me on this. It is a natural thing. You just need to relax and let mother nature do her thing. The right answer will come to you in time."
"The right answer..." That gave Comet an Idea. He happened to know a pony who could reveal secrets, love's mysteries, and so on and so forth. He finished his food, and the waitress was relieved to find that he did look much better after a hot breakfast. He fixed his mane and cleaned himself off, and tipped her well. "Thanks, for everything."
"Of course." She smiled at him. She had a really pretty smile. Now that he had his head on straight, Comet decided it was high time to get to the bottom of this.
As Comet strolled the village, he found that he was able to enjoy it more when he was awake. Everything was like slurred watercolor before he got his act together. He just needed to be natural. To relax. He found that finding Cupid was very easy. She had rented one of the houses that was out of his price range. This made him laugh a little on the inside, and cry a little on the inside. He did his best not to let it get to him. He wanted to walk around and compose himself a bit, now that he knew where to go. He perused the products in the windows of shops, finding almost every thing in this town was happy, and quaint. It pleased him. He had a cupcake at the Cake's bakery, and could feel his self-confidence rushing back to him. Maybe the waitress was right. Just being natural made it very painless. Perhaps he should pick up a book at the library when he was done at Cupid's. He wasn't sure what book yet, but he found the urge compelling. He focused as he walked up to the fortune-teller's shop. Suave... he focused. Composed. It's nothing I can't handle.
He leaned on the door frame and gave a knock on the wall. Cupid came down the stairs, pleased as punch to have a customer so early in the day.
"Welcome to Cupid's..." She hummed to herself. She was so pleasant, Comet smiled to himself. "Is there something I can help you with?"
"Actually," She froze up for a bit at his voice. "There is something I need your help with."
"Comet! I'm so glad you came to see me!" She beamed at him. "Do you like it? I had a friend from Manehattan do the decor." Comet looked around the shop and found that the red-gold theme went well with the focus on her card-reading. Delicate cloths and pictures of hoof-line diagrams lined the walls. He sat down at the table and she quickly took her place on the other side.
"It's nice." Comet smiled. "It fits you well." Her cream colored face turned a light shade of pink at this. She did her best to focus.
"What would you like me to look into?"
"I need to make a... decision. Like a crossroads kind of thing. Does that make sense?" He did his best to be ambiguous.
"Like a... love-related decision?" Cupid was eager to know.
"No," he quickly lied, shaking his head. "It's for... business. I have gotten some weird readings at home from the equipment, and I'm not sure what to report."
"Ah." Cupid nodded. Of course. Comet was the only earth-pony she knew who always had his head in the clouds. Cards whisked over to her from all parts of the room. Some hiding in the cloth on the walls and ceiling, a few coming down the stairs, until she had a good-sized stack in front of her. She was in a show-offy mood, and if there was anyone she wanted to impress, it was Comet.
The cards orbited her in a trio of circles. They spun around themselves slowly, revealing themselves to Comet one at a time as they moved around Cupid. It was always exciting to see the cards do their thing, Comet grinned. They moved away from her, condensing down into a trio of stars on the table. They then collapsed to lay flat. Comet leaned over and prepared for what Cupid had to say.
"This first card is what you have to gain from your first decision. Focus on that now." He thought about Twilight Sparkle. She was mean to him because she was shy. Even then, she was charming, and Comet already had a fondness for the books she kept. The card in the center of the first star was an earth-pony on a throne. She smiled sheepishly at the crooked crown on her head. This was one of Cupid's favorite cards, The Queen of Hooves. "This is the Queen of Hooves. In regards to your weather problem, she represents a decision where your own thoughts outweigh your common sense. That doesn't mean it's a bad decision, but choosing that one that will bring you happiness and peace of mind." Cupid knew the card meant much more than that, though. A lover, reliable and amiable. It was one of the best cards someone could hope for in a love-based reading.
Comet liked the sound of what she had told her. He thought about how every time he needed something, Twilight Sparkle stepped up and had it taken care of before he could say anything. He owed a great deal of furniture in his house to her.
"This next card represents your other hand. Choosing this over your first decision will forfeit that for this. Focus on that second choice now." Comet thought about when he was a little colt. All the times that Cupid was there, just to be with him, whether she got in trouble or not. He remembered how sad he was when she disappeared. He felt so... alone, for the longest time. The card at the center of the second star depicted a brilliant diamond. It glimmered and sparkled as if it would shine right out of the card. Cupid nodded thoughtfully. The Ace of Gems. "This is the Ace of Gems, which represents prosperity. Choosing this path will be a step in a new direction, and not a bad direction at that. This choice will bring you pleasure, or the start of a period of happiness." Comet swallowed hard. If anything, this reading was making his decision harder.
"How..." Comet tried to choose his words carefully. "How are the two decisions... different?"
"Well," Cupid was worried she wasn't helping. Both choices were good, sound choices, "The Queen is a decision you can count on. she won't let you ever regret choosing her." Comet nodded, waiting to hear the other side. "The Ace of Gems is more about material gain. It can mean physical pleasure, or a lucrative choice." This explanation left Comet at a loss for words. Cupid was his best friend. He had never considered her to be physically attractive. He didn't even know he was attracted to her at all until this morning. His gut told him that Twilight seemed like the better decision at this point.
"We have one card left though. This last card represents the cost of your choice. When you lose something, it can sometimes have backlash. That is represented by this card. When you choose one, you can expect this to happen in regards to the other." The final card depicted five wings in a spiral shape. Cupid cringed. Comet didn't like the look of that. The Five of Wings. "This is the five of wings, Comet. in this case it represents lack of fairness, or an empty victory. Your choice, if made, will be shadowed by the loss of the latter. Have you considered possibly choosing both?"
Comet shook his head. He couldn't choose both of them. The mental image made Comet feel dirty, and he let go of it as fast as he could.
"Perhaps choosing neither is a better option, then? Agreeing to disagree, so to speak?"
Comet hadn't considered the possibility that choosing neither of them would be the better decision. That way, he could be with both of them. It was simple, and kind of solved the problem. Cupid sorted her cards back into a large pile, and it began to shuffle itself.
"Sometimes, you aren't left with that option. You can only stall a decision for so long in some regards." Comet nodded. "Choose carefully. Come see me again, okay?"
"Okay." He smiled at her. He turned to find a small line had formed behind him. At the door. Cupid was pretty good at drawing attention to herself. He left a gold coin on her table, and headed out to the bright brightness of mid-day. Now that he had the input of a deck of assorted cards, he wanted to go have a talk with Twilight Sparkle.
As Comet walked, he played with his three choices in his head. He didn't have any intention making money, so he wasn't sure what lucrative could mean. Peace of mind sounded nice, but Comet was not looking forward to regretting not choosing Cupid. It all doubled back on itself in the end. When he got to the library, he found that Twilight Sparkle was just heading out. There was a pause, and then they both started talking simultaneously. Another pause, and it started again
Comet laughed, "Go ahead, Twilight."
"Oh, okay. I was just heading out to.. go for a walk. You wouldn't happen to have any problems that needed solving, would you?"
Could all unicorns read minds or something? "Me? Uh, no, not really." He lied.
"Even the tiniest little thing? We are friends, after all." Comet nodded. That was precisely the problem.
"I, uh, I got nothing. Honest as the stars. Is Spike in?" Twilight sighed in disappointment.
"Yes, he's inside. I have to go." She trotted off. As Comet watched her go, he had the inclination she was looking for trouble. That was unlike her.
Comet walked inside to find Spike writing a letter. He sent it off before turning to find Comet.
"Oh, hey Comet. What's up?"
"I was wondering if you have any books on storms. I think one might be brewing above the Everfree Forest."
"Is it going to be dangerous?"
"Not if I can get Cloudsdale to take care of it. What's up with Twilight? She seems... disheveled." Spike rolled his eyes.
"She's freaking out because she hasn't helped anyone today."
"Ah." Comet nodded. That was an interesting way to go about your day. He got his book from Spike and headed for home.
It was obviously going to be a boring day in Ponyville.
Apparently I didn't have to look forward very far :)
@ Natr1x - Lol yeah, I don't have a lot going on today. I'll prolly put out one more chapter before the day is done. 'Das How I roll
reads "Hands shaking?".........wait wut? anyways good story bro :D
"It was obviously going to be a boring day in Ponyville." Smartypants disagrees.
@ NeverKnown - OMG I did it agian. :\ Fixed it
Good work on 8 and 9. Now down to business. First of I would like to state that you've succeeded in making these two chapters on par with the rest of your work. Next I would like to congratulate you on what I saw as improvements in your writing. There were a bunch of little stuff like an increase in rhetorical questioning to get the reader thinking, a glimpse into the mind and personal beliefs of the protagonist, stuff like that. In my opinion though the main improvement though is the way that you've started to give more personality to every characters other than the main character, Comet. The other improvement was the lack of spelling errors or grammatical errors. It's not like the previous chapters were littered with them, it was like...1 or 2 per two paragraphs max but these two chapters were almost completely devoid of them.
The fact that you are incorporating recent episodes into your story is good and I have no complaints (actually all I have are compliments!) for how you went about doing it. As always I look forward to your next release.
And on a final note....Comet really is dense isn't he?
15840 still little things like that make me chuckle :D Also any thoughts on if is going to show up for some more of her random mail shenanigans. if anything keep it up puts a smile on my face when i see a great peace of work like this
@ Rolix - It makes me happy to see that you enjoyed it. 8 in particular was difficult for me to write. The entire time it just felt like it was taking up space between 7 and 9. Like a... big text sponge of attention. Does that make sense? Anyways, I'm glad my writing is improving overall. There's a speed I need to move at in order to produce a crisp, clean text without errors. If I move too slow, I start adding/subtracting letters or getting all dyslexic. If I move too fast, my grammar gets sloppy. 9 in particular just felt like a good chapter as I wrote it; it felt natural and free-flowing. Characterization has always been an especially weak point of mine. That's what I actively contribute to sloppy shipping and the like. It's difficult for me, because as it plays out in my head, my ideas hardly fill the canon shoes, so to speak. I'm glad I'm getting better in the eyes of a veteran ^,^
On the subject of mixing-in episodes, I didn't want to do a thing where I just conveniently dodged episodes, but I didn't want to rewrite episodes in my own image, does that make sense? I wanted to include things around what was happening in the episodes. That way, when I watch the episodes (again :3), I could point out where Comet was and what he was doing in-between scenes. It just felt like the best way to go about doing it. My buddy DigitDaemon (who should be largely accredited for introducing me to the Brony Fold) has been bugging me about what I'm going to do for the Halloween episode. In all honesty, I have no idea, as the episode won't come out for two days >,>
And on a final note... isn't it great? My favorite kind of character is the one that you wanna slap around and say "Are you f@#$in kidding me?!" If anything, all of my characters have moments like that. Comet, with his sheer density, Cupid, with her passive-obsessive nature, and Rudolph because he's Rudolph.
I think I have enough in me for one more chappy Look forward to it.
On a Final Final Final Final Note:
Based on the assumption nobody reads mi blog (which is k I really don't care), I would die if I could find someone to draw Comet, Cupid, and/or Rudolph. I would plaster that sh!t all over the place, credit given where it's due, of course. :D
@ NeverKnown - I'm not sure what you mean. If you are referring to Rudolph (who, in his beta, was a Derpy insert), He has to get a day off for schooling eventually, doesn't he? He is just an intern.
In all honesty, he's going to play a very important role in Chapter 10. Gonna get some serious character development and stuff. He's been pretty minor, but everyone deserves their spotlight.
Well to be perfectly honest I don't know anyone who could and or would draw them for you, however I do have a link to a game that helps creates Pony avatars and pictures for you. You can upload custom backgrounds and cutie marks and by using the completed picture of one character as the backround you might be able to fit Comet, Cupid, and Rudolph all in one photo using it. Heres the link
http://jayisgames.com/games/pony-creator/
Hope it helps
Why wasn't I informed of this earlier?!
It's perfect! Squee
Expect pictures of Comet, Rudolph, and Cupid by the end of the night ^,^
ROLIX YOU ARE A GOD
I like this story, if you need any help I'm good at helping.
@ Darktoes - Thanks for your support. It means a lot to me :3
I'm pretty good right now. I wanted to put up Chapter 10 this morning (at about 2 ish), but every time I hit the save button, my internet would crash and I would lose some work. I lost about 2200 words in 10 minutes Unfortunately, I'm busy for most of the day today, so my first opportunity to recover from that won't be until this evening (at a party for the new Halloween episode :3). I'm not sure how long it'll take, I know what I want to happen, I just need to put it all back down on text boxes again.
In all honesty though, I'm so grateful for all the feedback I'm getting. Without all my awesome fans like darktoes, Rolix, darklordcomp, and neverknown, I probably would have dropped out a long time ago My good buddy DigitDaemon was the one who got my into MLPFIM, and he's writing a story of his own. Check it out :D
He's still growing as a writer (not that I'm not), but he has a lot of creative ideas that I personally never would have come up with.
PS: Pony creater is AMAZING. Used SAI to mesh all three of them together. If you couldn't figure it out, from top to bottom, it's Cupid, Comet, and Rudolph without his glasses. I couldn't get the glasses to cooperate very well, and he does look better without them. That's kind of important to the story though, so I won't get into that :3
Time for work Toodles~
Silly Comet don't choose between Twilight and Cupid, you should choose the waitress.
16206 i was thinking the same thing and also 16190 shout out :D also if your looking for a pre reader or anything looks like the story i was correcting http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1526/Haylo%3A-A-New-World might be taking a short break
16095
Glad to help