A horde of black figures walked under a green glow as they began their busy schedules. The sunshine falling from the sky could not reach this place, but the hive knew when it was time to sleep and when it was time to rise by instinct alone. Survivors, they would often call themselves. They hid, they planned, they worked together, but above all else they were survivors. The hive always came first. They did not eat the love here, but instead they allowed the love given from others to fuel their abilities and community. Each changeling had one being to thank for where they lived now: King Daedalus.
All eyes turned towards the king making his way through the hive. Daedalus was strolling along the street, flanked by two guards and Toxotis. This was not an uncommon occurrence as Daedalus would often delight in taking a stroll amongst his own kind, yet he had long ago accepted the fact that he would never be seen as an equal amongst them. The point was driven home every time they all began to bow to him. He raised his claw to signal them to rise, something that had become second nature to him over the years.
Daedalus stroked his beard as he turned his head in different directions. His eyes scanned from street to street, trying to decide where to go. He often wondered if ponies would be surprised at how the hive looked, considering it greatly resembled a city. There were structures filled with housing arrangements that closely resembled skyscrapers. Streets had been carved to direct the masses of lings walking them each day, going about their business for their families and the hive. Above them all was the dome that covered the city and blocked out the sun. In its place was green nectar that illuminated the darkness. Enough of it had been placed on the ceiling in specific places that it shone down on the city below. Despite how large the hive was, the Everfree kept them hidden. While most kings and queens opted for caves and caverns to build their homes, the forest acted as the perfect place to settle down once it had been tamed. It was not his original choice to settle down here of all places, but he couldn’t deny that fate had dealt him a good hand.
“I think I’ll have some tea today,” Daedalus muttered to himself. He took the closest right while Toxotis and the guards did their best to follow. The crowds never got a chance to form as Daedalus sent a request through the hive mind to be left alone. All the changelings around him continued on with their business, but couldn’t help but take the occasional glance.
A tiny little café, one that Daedalus often visited, was in his sights. The owner of the establishment was immediately updated on who was approaching and quickly set to work on making a fresh pot of tea specifically for the king. Daedalus walked up to a little table just outside and gently sat down so he wouldn’t break the chair. He had a history of forgetting he was much larger than most of his kind. With a simple pointed finger, he motioned for Toxotis to join him at the table. “Guards, I want you to leave us. I wish to speak to my friend alone.” The order was much sterner than usual, but the guards made no objections and left.
“Y-Your Majesty. May I—” Toxotis was silenced by a single finger to his lips. Daedalus wanted his cup of tea first before any conversation began. He could have asked for one at the palace, but he wanted to be as relaxed as possible before the inevitable conversation he was about to have. Being in the presence of so many of his subjects would hopefully prevent him from going into a rage. Unfortunately for Toxotis, there weren’t many changelings about at the time. There was only the café owner, and a few other customers inside who were trying to look like they weren’t staring at the king, and spectacularly failing. One or two changelings would occasionally walk past them, but due to the previous request, many didn’t even look in the direction of the king out of fear of reprisal. They were essentially alone.
“I’ve ordered for you. I hope you don’t mind,” Daedalus casually spoke as he removed his hat and placed it on the table. At that moment, the owner arrived with two cups of tea and gave them one each. The owner quickly bowed and left, leaving the two alone again. Daedalus took a quick sip from his cup and gave off a happy hum of pleasure. “Ah, with a hint of honey. This is my daughter’s favourite, you know?”
“I was not aware,” replied Toxotis. “I’ve only met her once or twice.”
“I imagine so. Despite being a celebrity now, she still likes to keep herself to herself.” The conversation fell back into silence as both changelings took another sip of their tea. “We could just keep drinking like this. I would like that. The two of us just catching up as friends would. Sadly though, from what you’ve told me, that cannot be an option.”
I had a feeling you’d say that, Toxotis thought glumly.
“The last security threat we had to this hive was over six hundred years ago. Ever since then we have flourished with prosperity and peace. Being the eldest living monarch amongst my fellow kings and queens, I have garnered myself some measurement of respect from them over the years. At least, I would like to think so.” The king took one more sip before getting to the point at hoof. “But now, after six hundred years, your relationship has opened up the biggest threat we’ve had in a long time.”
“Please, let me ex—”
“YOU CAN EXPLAIN IN A MOMENT!” Daedalus closed his eyes in frustration and bit his tongue to keep himself quiet. His voice had been so loud that half the hive had heard the king explode in anger, but to what it actually was about they were clueless. He requested another cup of tea and the owner wasted no time in bringing it to him. Daedalus took another sip and waited for Toxotis to crawl out from under the table. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted. However, before we continue I must ask you this. Have you told Rainbow what you really are?”
“… Yes, she knows I’m a changeling.”
“So tell me, then. Why could this be a risk to the hive? I mean, you’re a smart changeling, I’m sure you can explain it to me.” Toxotis gently lowered his cup and forced down a gulp as the gears in his head began to turn.
“Well… if Rainbow were to tell her friends and they reacted badly, they would likely inform the princesses of what was going on. Especially considering one of them is the personal student of Celestia, and the sister of a pony who had been brainwashed by a changeling over a period of at least three months. Since the princesses have declared war on our entire race, they would eventually find the hive located in the Everfree and destroy it and us.”
“Granted that is the worst-case scenario but generally spot on.” Daedalus rolled his shoulders and let out a long sigh. “So tell me this. Of all the mares in the world, why did you have to fall for the Element of Loyalty? I mean granted, she’s hot, but—”
“SHE’S MINE! YOU CAN’T HAVE HER!” The outburst caught Daedalus off guard. He picked up his cane defensively, only to realise it was Toxotis he was talking to. Meanwhile, Toxotis was coming to the realisation that he had just barked at his ruler and put a hoof in his mouth. Daedalus put down his cane and put his claws up defensively.
“You’re very protective of your marefriend, aren’t you?” he asked with genuine curiosity.
“I—uh, what I… I’m so…”
“It’s alright,” he assured, “I’m not mad at you for snapping at me. Honestly, It showed me how you really feel for her. Why don’t you drink some more tea and try to calm down? I think I could do with that as well.”
Toxotis didn’t need any more convincing. He graciously found solace in his cup and chugged it down till there was nothing left. Thinking of happy thoughts and fond memories helped to relax him slightly. Working his first case, meeting his mentor, finally talking to Rainbow, for a moment all his worries and fears had been dispelled. Daedelus just looked on and tried to rethink his position on the matter. He knew just from how the conversation had gone that Toxotis had not asked Rainbow not to reveal he was a changeling to her friends. It was a foolish move, but love could often make a changeling do stupid things. He theorised that Toxotis didn’t want to seem too suspicious to Rainbow, but how he had revealed his identity to her and how she accepted it was a mystery to him.
“I’ve been in love myself, y’know,” muttered the king, just loud enough for Toxotis to hear him. “I’m thinking about pursuing another again, actually. Strong mare, I’ve had a thing for them judging by my last wife. I’ve had many lovers, though. Many changelings, but I’ve been with a griffon and one or two ponies. What I’ve learned from that is love can be found in the most unlikely of places. I will tell you this now to put you out of your misery. I will not force you to end your relationship…”
“Oh, thank you, sir. I promise I’ll…”
“… However, you must do one thing.” Toxotis eagerly nodded, Toxotis nodded, not even caring what it was he had to do. He was merely relieved that Dash could still be his. “I want you to convince her to not reveal your identity, or our location to the rest of them.” He put a clawed hand on his friend’s shoulder and looked straight into his eyes. “I know it may be tough, but this is how it has to be for now. Perhaps one day you can tell them, but the wedding was too soon and fear and paranoia still run rampant in many.”
“I understand. My life is yours, after all.”
“Well, let’s not get too dramatic with this. I mean it’s been what? A couple of months now since you came to me all bloody and beaten.” Daedalus could remember that day very well. He had been sitting in his throne as usual, when a group of guards brought to him a changeling from Chrysalis’ invasion. They had not bothered to check his wounds or take him to a medic; they had thrown him at the clawed feet of Daedalus to receive immediate judgement for his crimes.
“I remember all too well. They found me on the edge of the Everfree, that’s how far back I was thrown by…”
“… The power of love,” Daedalus finished with a smirk. He pinched himself to keep himself from falling into another laughing fit while Toxotis gave him a deadpan look.
“Yeah… seems kind of silly when you say it out loud.”
“The power of love is a mysterious thing. It can make a grown mare weep, and another mare sing…”
“If you start singing that song I will personally lead a revolution against you… Your Highness.” Now it was Toxotis who was laughing, and the king wearing a look that simply said “I am not amused.”
“I thought you liked my singing voice,” Daedalus said darkly. His pouty look, though, was enough for Toxotis to tell the king was merely joking again.
“Correction, you think your singing voice is good when you’re drunk. If you’re singing some Flank Sinatra when you’re sober, you are a wonderful singer, You Highness. However, when you’re drunk is another story entirely. Besides which, I believe we’re getting off topic.” Toxotis got up from his seat and straightened his trusty fedora on his head. “You wish to know the whole story of how Dash and I got together, yes?”
“That could be helpful I suppose. I mean, it certainly couldn’t hurt to know the full story.”
“Then I give you permission to look into my memories.” Royalty were much more powerful than the usual drones that inhabited the hive. One thing they could do with the hive mind was look into the memories of another. It was limited of course. They couldn’t force their way in, and the changeling would have to let them in willingly first. They also had to be in close proximity, so it wasn’t performed often. Only when important information had to be given and it was too dangerous to speak aloud. It also cut down time as a whole flurry of information would be in Daedalus’ mind in a matter of moments.
“Are you sure, Toxotis? I will see everything you know about your time with her. Even the more… intimate moments you’ve both shared.”
“I know. Perhaps it will put you at ease, though. Besides, I sure you won’t see anything you haven’t done yourself.” Toxotis trotted straight up to the king, who was suppressing a chuckle. Toxotis presented his head by taking off his hat. “I can assure you I’ve never told her where the hive is and this will confirm it. I’m ready.”
Daedalus let out a heavy sigh before weakly nodding. It had been a very long time since he had last performed this trick, and it wasn’t a completely pleasant experience, even at the best of times. He got on one knee in front of his friend and placed a clawed hand on either side of Toxotis head. Daedalus closed his eyes and linked himself completely to the hive mind. He lost himself for a moment; the rush of information overwhelmed him, but he quickly regained control. He took another deep breath as he slowly joined his consciousness with Toxotis. Sudden impulses like a craving for jammy dodgers and a love of the rainbow sparked in the king’s brain, but he shrugged them off as side effects.
“Toxotis, I want you to visualise a pathway. The path will begin with how this all started, meaning what led you to meeting Rainbow, and the path will finish when you began your trek here today. I will do the rest from there,” assured Daedalus.
Toxotis knew exactly where this all started. It started with a little bit of help from an unlikely friend.
“Thank you for everything, Question. It has been a pleasure.” The blue pegasus nodded to the disguised changeling. Question Mark in turn shook the hoof of his newfound friend.
“Before you and your company leave, Carnage, I want you to do me a favour.” Carnage eyed Question suspiciously, but made no argument. “When your mission is over, I think you should pay a visit to your mother.” Carnage felt a sudden desire to argue, but Question Mark wouldn’t allow it. “I know your feelings for her, but since you’re immortal, do you really think you can avoid her till the end of time? I made a grave mistake by allowing anger and hate to eat away at me. That was what convinced me to side with Chrysalis. Please, I don’t want you to lose yourself also. You have to at least find some resolution.”
Carnage looked over to where his team was standing. They seemed just out of earshot, but the topic itself often troubled him when others could hear. He stretched his wings out, desperately trying to find a counterargument, but came up with none. Question Mark smiled to himself, knowing that Carnage was always a stallion of his word.
“Alright, I will on one condition. You have to ask that Rainbow Dash out,” Carnage proposed with a smirk. Question’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates and he suddenly felt his throat dry up. “We both know you like her, you’ve said so yourself. So let’s come to an agreement. I swear to face my mother, if you swear to confess your attraction to the Element of Loyalty. Deal?”
“… Deal!”
Daedalus couldn’t help but smile to himself as the memories continued to flow into him and spin their grand old tale.
The only thing that prevented Rainbow Dash from flying forward and smacking Twilight in the face was a single thought that kept repeating over and over inside her head. Twilight was her friend. She kept glaring though, as Twilight continued to cower at the sight of Rainbow. It was almost laughable that arguably the most powerful unicorn alive today was trying to hide from a mere pegasus. Rainbow wasn’t just a pegasus though, she was the Element of Loyalty.
She knew how important and how complicated true loyalty was. Ponies often thought it was as simple as sticking by your loved ones and supporting them. To follow them to wherever they may go. The reality was that sometimes it required you to simply say no. To tell a pony you love that they’ve gone or are going to go too far. To let them down easy, and on rare occasions, to hurt them to help them. Loyalty was far more complicated than most ever considered, and it wasn’t until you found yourself in one of those situations did you begin to truly understand what loyalty really was. Looking out for your friends, and sometimes making the hard decisions for them.
Twilight had struck her, and ordinarily, Rainbow would have retaliated. She was her friend though, and although a good smack might do Twilight some good, it would have likely only served to antagonise both mares. Rainbow began to fly down to her friends while Pinkie had pulled out a bag of popcorn from seemingly nowhere.
“Sugarcube, what are ya doin’?” asked Applejack.
“If Twi and Dashie are gonna fight, then I’m gonna be ready.” She then put on a T-shirt that simply said “Team Dashie!” The dot above the I was a heart. “Go, Dashie, go!”
“Honestly, darling, the last thing we should be doing is taking sid—” Rarity stopped when she noticed Fluttershy was also wearing a shirt labelled with “Team Dashie!” on the front. “Really, Fluttershy?” Rarity asked with a raised eyebrow.
Fluttershy hid her face behind her mane. “Pinkie put it on me,” she said quietly. “… Also, I like the design.” Rarity would have rolled her eyes, but the inevitable confrontation drew her attention back along with the rest of the mares’. Spike was too busy helping himself to Pinkie’s popcorn.
Twilight and Rainbow were snout to snout now as the unicorn’s eyes began to falter again. She struggled to look at Rainbow directly, hoping that she could crawl up into a hole and simply die there. Rainbow wouldn’t have that though, and used her right hoof to bring Twilight eye level again. Applejack was at the ready to break up the fight any second, and Rarity was regretting not bringing her fainting couch with her. Rainbow took one last breath of air, and let out a short sigh.
“Why’d ya do it, Twi?” The question was much simpler than Twilight expected. In fact, a question was the last thing she suspected. Angry words and possible slaps had been much more likely in her mind. Due to the suddenness, she fumbled for an answer, but Pinkie was more than happy to answer as she jumped up in the air and waved a hoof fanatically.
“Oh, I know, I know! You we’re telling us that you were having super-hot make-out sessions with a changeling, and Twilight got all xenophobic on your flank and zapped your head,” Pinkie said with an innocent grin. Both Rainbow and Twilight had gone red in the face. One of them from embarrassment, and the other from anger.
“I am not xenophobic, Pinkie!” shouted Twilight. “I made a heat-of-the-moment decision based upon the information known about the changeling race. I will acknowledge that it may have not been the wisest course of action in hindsight, but I… I was scared, okay? I was scared.”
Something about that last sentence made Rainbow’s nostrils flare, and she found her voice rising. “Scared!? What the heck do you have to be scared of?”
“I was scared for you. I thought I’d lost you!” Twilight shot back, forcing down a sob in the process. “Changelings have shown themselves as nothing but manipulative and deceptive. They steal love, for goodness’ sake! Knowing what they did to my brother and the months of psychiatric tests he still has to go through, I couldn’t bear the idea of that happening to you as well.”
Applejack had seen enough and forced herself between the two mares. “Both of y’all lay off now,” she said with a firm stomp. “I won’t see you two go at it for no good reason. We need answers.”
“Thank you, Applejack,” agreed Rarity. “Twilight, you must apologise straight away for what you did to Rainbow.”
There was a short pause. Not because Twilight didn’t want to say she was sorry, but simply because she wished to compose herself for what would come next. “Rainbow, I am so sorry. I overcharged my mind-clearing spell and you got hurt because of it. For that, I hope you can forgive me,” she said with sincerity. Before Rainbow could accept, Twilight continued. “However, we need to settle this business over your affiliation with an enemy of Equestria. I’ve got an idea though. You’ll lead us and the guard to the changeling, and I will speak to Celestia on your behalf so you won’t…”
“Buck off, Twilight.” Twilight’s eyes opened wide. Rainbow didn’t shout, her words didn’t need volume as she simply told her friend to… well… get lost, as it were. Rarity would have fainted, but even she thought that would be overdoing it today.
“I-I beg your pardon!?” cried Twilight.
“You heard me, buck off! You don’t know anything Twi. I bet you still think he manipulated me somehow, don’t ya? That he wooed me and seduced me or some crap like that. Well, I want you to listen and listen good. I CAME ON TO HIM!”
That time, Rarity did faint. Fluttershy and Pinkie looked ready to burst into glee, while Applejack looked more confused than the time Apple Bloom came home with a cart that transformed into a robot and asked if she could keep it. That had been a weird day. Meanwhile, Twilight was screaming internally. Her brain and sanity were in tatters, and then she fell onto her rump in defeat. Her friend had willingly started a romantic relationship with a changeling. Twilight was questioning if it was all her fault, like Rainbow was punishing her for something.
“Um, can I say something?” Due to the deathly silence that had followed Rainbow’s outburst, Fluttershy’s quiet voice could be clearly heard. All eyes turned towards her, Twilight’s desperately searching for answers to this insanity. “Maybe Rainbow should explain to us how she met this changeling. This might help clear any confusion, and then we can all make a fair and balanced decision on what to do next.”
The logic was very sound, and it was refreshing to Twilight to hear a sane opinion on the matter. Twilight’s brain overload prevented her from replying though, she didn’t even put up a fight when she felt herself get dragged onto a seat. When reality had caught up to her, she found herself sitting on a stool between four of her friends. Rainbow Dash had been placed just in front of them by Pinkie. In an effort to get everypony more relaxed, Pinkie had brought more popcorn to share. Spike grumbled about not getting a seat, when Pinkie exploded with enthusiasm.
“Alright, story time! C’mon, Dashie, I’m so excited to throw you that ‘super cute couple’ party!” Rainbow Dash sighed at the sight of her friends (most of which were fully conscious) and saw no real reason to delay the inevitable.
“Okay, this all started four weeks ago. One Saturday night at the bar…”
"Applejack looked more confused than the time Apple Bloom came home with a cart that transformed into a robot and asked if she could keep it."
wat
I want a Daedalus themed musical. Do it. Do it now. Please
You get lucky, Twi. I would put a hoof in her face and her through a wall
Interesting development.
I would comment more, but I am trying to refrain from puking up my breakfast of chocolates that I have eaten on my keyboard.
Excuse me for a moment while I partake in the painful false hurling manuver that makes thy chest hurt like a bitch.
Bleh.
Celestia, it burns.
Woot you go Dashie!
Hah! Oh, wow. That was epic
Hah, this whole conversation
Ugh. Seriously wouldn't bother
Remarks and corrections:
> till there was nonthing left
Think that should be "nothing".
> but the wedding was too soon
I think you mean the events at the wedding are still too recent in everyone's memory. Not really the same. "too soon" would imply mean that he's okay with the invasion (or, with the wedding at least ) but it should've happened later
> you are a wonderful singer, You Highness
"You[r] Highness"
> drew her attention back along with the rest of the mares'
You can't really use possessive like that... messy sentence overall. Can't think of any easy fix though; "along with that of the rest of the mares" sounds just as odd. I'd suggest a rewording.
3568298 I'll get onto those when I can.
3568284 Cursing FTW!
3568271 Hope you feel better soon.
3568260 Honestly I couldn't see any of them intentionally trying to hurt each other. If they did, it would accidental at best.
3568252 It would be the snazziest musical in all the land.
3568231 fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/327/b/d/bdbc38fee58f52afafbaf5e413fd4e27-d4h418x.png
Yes, Let the King sing!
3568320
I know, I know, but Twi deserved a liiiitle punch to her face. XD
Wow, Rainbow was pretty calm there. I think Twilight should be more scared of her like that!
Your Highness.
I love how he promised not to let Rainbow reveal his identity, but it's a bit late for that.
Brilliant chapter, though I hoped that there will be a little more flashback than what we saw. But let me ask you this: is Question Mark the one who created the LoEP? Because I don't think I recall that stallion from you other story.
3568231
I think it's a Transformers referrence, since there are so many stories about them coming to Equestria (even Beast Wars serie got their own story).
3568260 Why? She was for once following procedures. If Equestria is officially at war with changelings, then Dash commits a crime by hiding one, regardless of her motivations.
3568409 Say the same thing to you as Dash said to Twilight. *Coughs* Buck off!
Uh oh, Pinkie Pie is starting to dominate the scenes a little bit. Though I guess if this story is trying to be funny, Pinkie Pie's silliness would be needed here and there, unless you can make the story funny without being silly, which is extremely difficult, but far more preferable.
3568409
Maybe, yes, but the problem is that Twilight, without think, shot a powerful spell to one of her best friends. If a friend of mine do me that, I'll punch him. And hear his apologies, of course.
What I try to say is that Twilight could try to investigate first, no knocking Dash out.
3568452 If Dash was mind-controlled, talking with her first would be pointless. Making sure she wasn't was the first priority.
Twilight didn't want to risk another chase scene like in "return of harmony 2", so she used the element of surprise.
Knocking Dash out cold was an accident and Twilight did apologize for that.
the King has fingers? or did he assume a form that has fingers?
3568482 from the description, he moves on two legs and has clawed 'hands' - he doesn't move quite straight though, more like something mantis-like.
3568476
If she would talk with her first, maybe she could see signals of mind possesion. Applejack get angry with Twilight and the others get scared for something. Twilight crossed the line a little.
3568347 one thing i learned, never mess with any girl that acts like rainbow.....
Impressive artwork for an impressive story concept, even if EQD might not think so.
LOL!!!!
should be "nothing"
"mare" I believe should be plural: "mares"
oooo, great little bit of world building there.
Wait what? Is this a reference to TotallyNotaBrony's series "A Dream"? (I know, probably not.)
Okay, seriously, this is REALLY well written. I wish my own Changeling story was half as good. Great job, keep up the awesome work!
Getting a little tired of how they are treating Twilight's response. For all they know Dash was under mind control and this is a (currently working) changeling plan to sow dessent among the Element Bearers.
3568323 The King SHALL sing!
3568374 Trouble is comin, I can feel it...
3568387 Question Mark is the detective they meet. Illusive Pony created the League.
3568409 Good point, nice to see somepony thought of that
3568440 I'm not gonna lie to you. I reread it, and I completely disagree with you. I just don't see her dominating the story at all. The four main focal characters are Twilight, Rainbow, Toxotis/Question Mark and Daedalus. pinkie makes jokes, but she's certainly not dominating the scene.
3568482
He's pretty much spot on.
3568652 Well we shall see.
3568713 Transformers reference actually
3568790 They've already put a hole in the idea that Dash is mind controlled. They're not trying to gang up on Twilight, but they don't like the fact that she knocked Dash out.
3568506 Perhaps I play too much RPG then - to me, Twilight's reaction was so logical, if I were Dash, I'd ask for the spell up front, before telling about the changeling, just to get it over with.
BITCH I WILL FIGHT YOU OVER THIS.
3568886
I'LL CAVE YA FACE IN!!!!!
TRANSFORMERS! APPLE CARTS IN DISGUISE!
I'm enjoying this so far, adding this to my ever-expanding good/favorite fanfic list on my userpage :P
3568849 Sure, but none of them (including Dash) knew for certain that she wasn't being controlled until Twilight checked. For reasons of personal friendship and national security Twilight's actions were correct, so they really need to stop giving her grief over them.
And even without the mind control, this still could be an effort to infiltrate the Element Bearers and cause strife. Twilight is right to be concerned.
Great chapter.
Wow. King Deadalus is by far the most reasonable and likable authority figure I've ever seen in a while.
OH BOY! STORY TIME! CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTER!
3568886 I'LL FIGHT YOU TOO!
3568936 What up, Batman?
3568989 This guy knows what I'm talking about.
3569014 I had a look. I would recommend adding links to those stories, otherwise it feels redundant to have it.
3569059 Well you're in luck, since that stuff isn't in the next chapter... I can't say anymore...
3569064 I prefer the original myself, that was the one I was quoting. Not a bad cover though.
3569124 Another in the long list of King Daedalus fans. Dude needs his own religion at this point.
3569171
I just searched 'pmv power of love' and picked the first thing I saw,
Not going to lie, but Dash really should've handled that better. She should've known that Twilight would react badly, considering two of the most important beings in her life nearly had their lives ruined by Changelings. Sure it might be a little racist to think Changelings are all the same but considering the information that they feast on love and manipulate ponies to get it plus the attempted invasion . . . I think a bit of racism can be forgiven.
3569260 I agree with you. Twilight's only exposure to their race is a deranged madmare who refuses to believe that she's not a queen and her brainwashed followers. If Rainbow Dash would explain that Chrysalis is basically a pariah by their races standards, it would go a long way to assuaging her fears.
Well, Daedalus continues to be awesome and Twilight continues to be a bitch. We will have to see what happens next, because as is I can easily see her driving Rainbow out of town if she keeps this shit up and writes to Celestia. That would make it essentially impossible for her to keep living in Ponyville, and the changelings will probably be willing to take her in under the circumstances.
3568849 I am with random reader on this one. Pinkie gets far more focus than any of the other secondary characters, especially Spike. This makes her feel a lot more important than she really is so I would look into cutting her lines down some next chapter and shifting focus to Spike. Fluttershy would also be a good pony to give a bit more attention to now that you are moving into the romance side of things because she tends to be fairly quiet most of the time. Rarity is also going to have to get more lines with the blooming romance so you will probably want to keep an eye on her to make sure she does not take over the background group the way Pinkie did this chapter.
3569260 Honestly, I am not surprised Dash did not make the most logical decision here. She has never been the best at making plans and thinking things through, and her emotional state leading up to this just makes it even worse. Yes there were definitely better ways for her to handle this, but the fact that she did not think it through is really not surprising.
3568506 Might I remind you that there aren't really "signals for mindcontrol"? I mean, there was nothing wrong with Shining Armor. He acted completely normal. And he was still controlled to a degree. This is subtle stuff, more like slight manipulations instead of full-on mind control.
3569312
It was only a suposition. And an opinion. If I suspect of one of my friends being mind controlled, knocking him out with too much force, with possibilities of kill him, it will be my last and desesperate option.
3569329 Yeah, but Twi didn't even want to knock Rainbow out. The spell should have simply freed her of any manipulative spells, if I understood it right. It's just that Twi accidentally put in too much power on account of being scared. Which still isn't right, but far from intentionally inflicting harm on RD.
3569336
Indeed. But the impulsive natural reaction after wake up, for me, it is the punch on the face. In my opinion, at least.
3569309 I still struggle to see it, but I'll think it over. She's not even in the next chapter though. i can't say much more than that.
Twi's not Xeno. Ya I will buy that when pigs build spaceships
3569351 I am not really sure how to describe it, but it felt like she was on my mind a lot more than any of the other secondary characters in that scene between her comments, her popcorn, and her actions. It was probably also because the others were frequently playing off things she did/said which seemed to make her drive the conversation more than she really should have. An example would be this passage:
Pinke drives the actions of Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Spike here which makes her feel much more significant than the rest of the secondary characters and pushes her towards protagonist territory because she is acting on the story instead of the story acting on her. This is not a bad thing in small doses, but it is getting a little bit overwhelming here and pushing out the rest of the cast.
3569387 If you mean in that respect then I agree. Her role will much less significent later on though, especially in the next couple of chapters.
3569395 Ok, good. I wanted to make sure I got that point across clearly. I really like the dynamics you have set up here, and I feel like it would be bad for the story if Pinkie took over because she tends to drowns out deep emotional conflicts in a wave of gags and cheap laughs.
During the argument, I just imagined Pinkie going, "Oooooooooooooh" and waving one hoof in the air with another cupped over her mouth...