(dis)Like what you read? Tell me why! ~Super
"Solid Worldbuilding" ~totallynotabrony
High up in the mountains and clouds, across the ocean and The Greater Marigold Ley Line, Earth, Pegasi, and Unicorn ponies eke out a living mining rare gems in the town of Sparkler. These are their stories.
Chapters are written out of order, then inserted into the correct chronological order, at least for now.
Rated teen for a few swear words and ponies being mean to each other, as well as a very brief and passing reference to sex.
Feel free to ask any questions in the comments section, or tell me how much you love/hate/are apathetic about it. Also feel free to suggest side stories. I have the plot of the whole arc figured out, but I'm working out the details as I write each chapter.
No, this story isn't dead.
>Chapter 21
Talk about in medias res.
3212810 once I get some more written, the Title is going to become "There's a Changeling On My Couch, and Other Tails From the Frozen North". I hope you enjoyed the story.
Adding this to my 'Read later' list and see how this progress before I upvote it and/or add to faves.
.... Says its chapter 21....
Still I am gonna read it.... When it's not 4am ...
Wait then its some side story or what?
Btw nice, gonna wait for more or its one shot?
Missed quotation mark on the I’ll be happy to explain sentence
"Sentient" should probably be "sapient."
You may want to mention when Flashpan began scrubbing the floor, so it doesn't come as a surprise.
This sounds interesting. I'd like to see where it goes.
3213254 thanks. Now that you mention it I think I remember sentient vs. sapient coming up in another story I read.
I see no problems.
Don't forget your quotation marks. You dropped a bunch of them in this chapter.
Also, don't be afraid to use their names. While we know who the two characters are, in more crowded situations this style of writing won't work.
3231600 ok. Thanks. I'll check the quotes when I get back home. And yeah I guess I just figured when only two characters are present, readers can figure out who is saying what.
Wat... You watched too much star wars or just dunno random upload of random chapters
3236095 I definitely don't write them in order. I kinda confess I write the easier ones first, or as they come to me.
3212889 it's no longer 4 a.m.
I assume the story is already written and you're just adding a chapter a day?
3238805 Nope. If that were the case I would add them in order. I'm literally writing a chapter or two per day, out of order, filling in the gaps in the story. It's not the best system, but it does make writing the story less intimidating. I hope you enjoy it.
Solid worldbuilding. I get the feeling that this whole story is just you trying out different styles of writing.
3249081 thanks. I'm particularly fond of my Jackson Pollock reference. And the randomness of mentioning how many ponies get married at the top of the mountain. And yeah, so far I've mostly done dialogue, this one was exposition/setting/description. There will also definitely be some VERY action packed chapters too :) glad you are enjoying.
"fudger: a worker in a shoe factory who finishes the edge of a sole"
- Merriam-Webster
"Fudge maker" or, to a lesser extent, "chocolatier", could work. Then again, it is perfectly understandable for Ereton to not know this.
Did you mean "cerulean"?
3279750 thanks. I think I'll keep it as is just for humor. why there is a word for such a specific part of shoe making the world can only wonder. I hope you enjoy the story.
3279796
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am indeed enjoying it.
3279804 My pleasure :)
First!
3317134 Yeah, by quite a margin.
597 chapters? Good gracious, that's quite the long haul.
3345202
3345202 Though the Austraeoh Tetralogy is currently up to 646! Chapters.
You should read it. I've read the first book (200 chapters) and it's fucking fantastic.
im on chapter 28....but for some reason...it doesn't feel like an accomplishment
...im gonna have to reread this whole fanfic once its gaps are filled
3415334 yeah, I know what you mean. It really is bad form on my part to write it this way, and for that I apologize.
3415929 at least its unique, which is hard to say on a fanfic site
3416399 I'll take that as a complement, in which case, thanks.
3416443 it was a compliment
hmm... short and sweet. me likely.
It does feel strange to get to the second appendix after only a short amount of time, I'll give you that. Must say though, once it's all complete, this will be really interesting. I'll be watching and waiting for more.
3578936 I'm glad you eagerly await more. To understand why I work on this story the way I do, see this picture: i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/640/542/75f.png
3578955 I can appreciate that now that I've finally taken the plunge and decided to write something of my own. It's very apt.
This is... interesting?
I'm confused. I like your writing, your world-building is decent, and (thank Celestia) your grammar is intact. A few missing commas here and there, but nothing overly distracting. However, I'm not sure what's going on with this fic... your chapters are written out of order (why...?), Your title doesn't make much sense so far, and overall I just feel a little lost... I wish I could say more, but honesly my only problem is that I'm just plain confused.
Your Rating:
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<i>Hey look, a ship on a ship!</i>
Heh
3583202 Now if you were reading this while on a boat...
SHIPCEPTION!
Oh wow, 'Evil Fascist ponies abusing the poor innocent changelings', I've never seen that every single fanfiction featuring changelings before. Oh, that and the one single non-racist pony finding injured changeling and nursing it back to health. Never seen that before.
4007399 your sarcasm befits your profile picture.
And yes, I'll be the first to admit this is a common trope. That being said, there is a LOT of story I haven't written yet, some of which Ihope will take some pretty unusual turns.
4007399 Also, if you read the previous chapter (which I haven't written yet, so you'll have to wait
), you'll see he actively rescued her from a lynch mob; he didn't just find her.
4007421
4007468
Okay, fair enough, he rescued her, my bad, and I apologize for coming off as rude, but you must understand, I am someone who simply can't stomach the way ponykind is routinely bastardized into a species of racist douchebags, while changelings, this proud warrior species, is reduced to a bunch of simpering, wimpering woobies. The reason I hate it is because it's often done purely to get a knee-jerk reaction out of the reader and just makes us feel sorry for the "poor, misunderstood, victimized Changelings" over, over and over again. It's a massive staple of Changeling Apologism, a pitfall on its own because the Changelings are, and this will sound totally insane and illogical, so bear with me here: villains.
This really isn't even a shot at you at all; rather, the whole concept of 'evil fascist ponies and wimpering, victimized changelings' as a whole.
4019448 I completely dig what you're saying. Part of why Ereton is all the way out in the middle of nowhere in a bumf
ck mining colony is that she is an outcast from her tribe. which again, I haven't written yet. I should probably get on that.
But yes, on my long term to-do list is to write a medium-short story with a changeling anti-hero who is an absolutely cunning psychopath.
"you can't hurry love, no, you just have to wait. She said, 'love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take..."
Oh, and "This day aria" of course. ;p
Interesting, we don't recall him giving her full name to Celestia...
ROYAL FUDGER! We fell out of bed with this. Especially when considering what that would really mean...
Hmm, so no "directed true love doesn't drain the giver" clause here, eh? Pity.
I see you have great plans for the future-past-present...
So yeah, interesting start, interesting way of writing the story.
Keep going! ;)