Party
The spa was something Alex found, painful at best. First, the ponies tried to have him remove his clothes, which while he was fine with the shirt, he downright refused on the pants. Hooves were DEFINITELY not as suited for massaging as hands were, and while they were some of the best at their job among ponies, pretty much ANY human could do a better job. It was something you just need hands for. Then they tried to brush his tail, which he had to explain that he didn't have one. Eventually, he had an herbal bath to relax. At the end of it all, he was glad he did it, as he could at least walk on his own by the time he was done. Rarity saw fit to pay for it, knowing how heartless Applejack could be when it came to work. Finally, it was time to head back to the castle for a lesson on magic theory with Luna.
"Alex.... are you alright?"
"Yeah, just exhausted. Long day...."
The studies didn't go well, as Alex was far too tired to pay attention, and Luna far too frustrated at trying to teach a sleeping student. Getting nowhere, they just opted to go to bed.
At breakfast the next morning, Celestia and Luna were both very grumpy. They were constantly twisting themselves to try and get comfortable, and looked like they hadn't slept at all.
"You two alright? No offense, but you don't look so good."
"We are quite well, your concern in unwarranted." Luna snapped back. Celestia was more forthcoming.
"It's my mattress, it's enchanted, but it still wears out once every two hundred years or so and I need to get a new one. I ordered it a week ago and it still hasn't shown up yet."
"You might want to get a massage or something." Alex suggested. Luna laughed.
"Oh please, our subjects are afraid to touch us, let alone give a massage. They barely rub the ache and then send us on our way."
"Oh, so they're gentle with you? Geez, I went to the spa and I was sure they broke a couple bones before they were done. Hooves just aren't as good for that as hands are." As soon as it was out, he bit his tongue. Both princesses looked at him with puppy dog eyes.
"Oh fine. But if I do this, you both need to do something for me." The quickly agreed as the three walked to the relaxation room.
"Alright, just, get comfortable or something. Remember, I'm not a chiropractor, so I can't do any adjustments, just sooth the muscles." Standing between the sisters, he applied the massage oil on his hands. He placed on on either of them and began to forcefully work his hands down their spines at the same time, all while looking ahead and trying to no think about the position he was in.
'Just a nice, friendly massage, for friends, just friends, just like at the spa, nothing strange about it at all.'
"Alex, are you blus *pop* ow!" Just as Celestia was about to ask, a knot in her back came loose, interrupting her.
'Just friends, just friends.'
"Thank you very much Alex, you are quite correct, hands ARE much better for this sort of thing." Luna said.
"Yep, and now the two of you need to do something for me. It is both of your day's off today. Tell me, do you have any disguise spells?"
"Yes we do, why?" Celestia asked.
"Simple, you're going to go to a club in with me tonight, disguised as regular ponies. If you go as yourselves, everyone will just stop what they're doing, but if you go in disguise, you can have as much fun as you want." He smiled a devilish smile.
"But we...." Luna began.
"No buts, you promised. You're going to go out and have a fun night on the town whether you like it or not."
"There are no 'night clubs' in Canterlot......."
"There's one in Ponyville."
"But we'd be spotted....."
"Hence the disguise. The two of you are NOT getting out of this."
Grumbling, the alicorn sisters cast spells on themselves, turning Celestia into a pink pegasus and Luna a light blue unicorn, both the size of regular ponies, with regular manes.
"There, was that so bad?" Alex asked.
"What about our cutie marks?"
"Starlight and Moonbeam, I don't think that'll be much of a problem. You love bringing sunshine and warmth to ponies hearts with jokes and tales, and you love bringing romance. The storyteller and matchmaker, come from out of town, looking to relax a bit before they continue on their way. That's believable right? I mean, as long as we don't run into Twilight, Applejack, or Pinkie pie. Then again, the odds of the first two being at a nightclub are nil, and Pinkie won't give it away. We'll be fine."
So the three teleported to the outskirts of town that evening and entered Club Po-neigh. A white unicorn with magenta eyes and a pair of violet shades perched on her brow was at the DJ station, playing some rave music. Luna looked like she was going to have a seizure from all the blinking lights, Celestia didn't know what to think, and Alex, dressed in dress pants and a loose, long sleeve shirt, pulled his own pair of shades over his eyes before giving the hidden pricesses pairs of their own. That made the lights much more bearable.
The party continued, nobody seeming to see through the disguises., that is, until Pinkie showed up.
"Oh my gosh Alex! Are these new ponies? They must be, because I know everypony in Ponyville because they're all my friends and I never forget a friends face and if they're new in Ponyville then they need a party!"
"Pinkie, I need to tell you a secret, you gotta promise not to tell anypony." She went through the motions of the Pinkie Pie swear before I told her.
"Starlight and Moonbeam are actually the princesses in disguise. They wanted to have some fun, well, more I'm forcing them to have fun. I figured you'd find out eventually, they're just here to party and have a good time, they don't want everyone bowing to them. You know, blend in with the crowd?"
"I got just the thing to get the grump out and make em party!" At which point the party pony pushed the royal pair onto the dance floor. They began moving awkwardly, not really sure.
"Loosen up will ya? It's been what, two thousand years since you cut loose? Have some fun!" Alex whispered.
"I don't think I know how, it has been a very long time......." Celestia tried to persuade.
"Well then, I don't have a choice then do I? This calls for extreme measures! Pinkie!"
The pink mare sped over, and after whispering something in her ear, she sped off to the DJ, who promptly stopped the music and began a familiar beat. Alex and Pinkie stood on stage, and after dragging them, so did the royal sisters. Alex began to sing, while Pinkie tried to force them to dance. He figured he might change the words a little, just for the heck of it.
"I came to dance dance dance dance,
I hit the floor cuz that's my plans plans plans plans,
I'm here with all my bestest friends friends friends friends,
Give me some space for both my hands hands hands hands
Cause it goes on and on and on,
And it goes on and on and on.... YEAH!
I throw my hooves up in the air sometimes
Saying aaaaayoooo
Gotta let go
I wanna celebrate and live my life!
Saying aaaaaaayoooo
Baby let's go!
Cause we gon' rock this club,
We gon' go all night,
We gon' light it up,
Like it's dynamite,
Cause I told you once
Now I told you twice
We gon' light it up
Like it's dynamite."
Celestia, who had been a little unsure at the beginning, found themselves moving more naturally. Whether it was the wink Alex gave them when he pulled down his shades, Pinkie's inexplicable magic, or a combination of both, the royal pair started to lose their solid form and have some fun. After all, tonight they were Starshine and Moonbeam, not the princesses. Nopony would ever know, they'd never have to worry about their image being tarnished just for having a little fun. Then the second verse began, and something happened that would surprise all of them.
"I came to move, move, move, move
Get out the way me and my crew, crew, crew, crew
I'm in the club so I'm gonna do, do, do, do
Just drop the phone, came here to do, do, do, do
Cause it goes on and on and on
And it goes on and on and on, YEAH!"
At which point Pinkie and Alex each grabbed one of the princesses, picked them up with the greatest of ease, and threw them into the crowd, who caught them and began having them crowd surf.
"I Throw my ponies in the air sometimes!
Saying Aaaaayoooo,
Look at that mare go!
I wanna forget all the pain and strife,
Saying aaaayooo,
You're having fun, no?"
The song continued, with the royal sisters absolutely flabbergasted. They didn't know whether to be angry or thankful. They decided on the latter and just began laughing hysterically. Once the song ended, Alex and Pinkie joined the sisters outside the club, who were gasping for air from having laughed so hard.
"I haven't had that much fun in years! Not even the Gala could compare to that!" Celestia heaved.
"You.... are..... in.... big..... trouble..... for.... doing.... that......" Luna huffed.
"Why? Because I broke your shell?" At which point Alex gave Pinkie a high hoof, the smacking sound reverberating through the air and he clutched his hand.
"Right! Hands are soft, hooves are hard, ouch."
"You had fun right? That last bit, you went sailing through the air and were all 'whoosh!' And you were all like, 'What?' And then you started laughing and it was great!"
"Yes Pinkie Pie, I had fun."
After teleporting back to Canterlot, the two got rid of their disguises and much to their joy, their new mattresses had already been placed, which they immediately flopped down on exhausted.
"Have fun kidnapping the princesses?" Serenity walked out of the shadows.
"They needed to get out of their regular routine. They were in a rut and you know it." Alex replied.
"And you didn't invite me because..........."
"Um..... oops? As if they'd be able to relax being swarmed by guards. Sure, you might have let us get away with it, but Grizzy would insist that there was at least three divisions guarding the club alone."
"You took them CLUBBING?" She said in disbelief.
"And they had a wonderful time. No, we didn't drink anything, and nobody found out except Pinkie Pie, and she didn't blow it. Nobody will EVER know that the Princesses went out and partied like it was 1999." Alex replied.
"Um?"
"That's the year when all the good parties happened."
"Oh."
"Well, they might be tuckered out, but I'm still fine. Wanna go raid the kitchen? Flay and Ladle actually gave me a 24 hour pass so I can do whatever the heck I want in there." He asked.
"Is this a date?" Serenity asked in turn.
"I don't know, do you want it to be?"
There! I fixed it! The problem was I was trying to over complicate things with science to make a plot point, then I realized that the whole point of this fic was to NOT do that, I found a flow, and I let it happen. Once I got out of my 'Twilight Sparkle' mindset, everything just worked. Overall, MUCH better.
Great chapter so far! Are we possibly going to find out why Alex's weight is dropping even though he isn't shrinking or anything? I have one possible explanation which I won't mention for the fear that I MIGHT POSSIBLY spoil any upcoming chapters.
ME GUSTA! on the chapter
Okay, so the being lighter than Twilight Sparkle, and the 2.35 times density - that's all gone. Yeah, easier to cope, probably easier to write.
I like very much the way the chapter went, though my inner pony is screaming for more details. The princesses may adore Alex, but I feel, since they have centuries of governing experience between them, they should have put up more of a fight toward the suggestion of transforming their appearances and going clubbing.
The clubbing scene could have been a treasure trove of comedy. Princesses + crowd surfing = ! amirite? It was cute and fun to read but dayumm, there could have been so many more juicy interactions. How many drinks were offered to 'Starshine'? How many passes made at 'Moonbeam'? And how many were by mares? Haha j/k.
Oh yes, nopony beats humans at massages. Nopony!
Definitely enjoying this. Looking forward to more!
THE MUSIC WAS HORRIBLE AHHHHHHHH, MY EARS STARTED TO BLEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hunh... You know, I just realized, I've never seen a relationship with one of Luna's Night Guards. That's pretty unique. Gotta hand it too ya. Good chapter, can't wait for more!
I agree with 485561 . The only thing missing were all the possibilities! And yes, nopony could beat a human at massage! That is an innate specialty we hold dear! I must say the ending was great! I bet Serenity gets a massage of her own! I mean, you know she wants it to be a date! So in the words of the captain of the Enterprise, "Number One, make it so!"
Great work. Nuff said. While I can't wait to see where this leads, don't rush the story. Take you time and enjoy sharing your tale with us!
So... you retconned the whole spa scene? Also, the opening paragraph seems rushed.
Yeah, I feel like I'm trying too hard and missing too much. I could have done a lot more with it, but it just doesn't seem to be working you know? Griffin just has so much of a flow to it, I really don't wanna work on anything else.
Me gusta so far.
I love the idea of humans clubbing in Equestria, especially if they did something like this.
Well. I support this. CONTINUE!
Link Much better version of that song
After briefly searching the comments if someone already said it (sorry if some did though), you said both hands and hooves in the song. That's not much of a problem, I doubt it is, but it was just nagging at me the entire time I was reading this chapter. If it was purposeful or something rather, please, do correct me.
look back at my last comment a fue chapters ago by the way i like everything i read so far including all of your other grate works
WHOA WHO WHOA THERE! YOU DON"T JUST PONIFY DYNAMITE WITHOUT FINDING A WORD TO REPLACE HANDS BUT STILL RHYMES WITH IT!
…Sorry about that rant, but seriously, that won't do.
And about that over-complicating with science, I think I do have a problem with that with my fanfics. I always feel like I have to explain things all the time just so they could understand.
Celestia and Luna in a mosh pit...! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, BLACKWING?
I’m pretty sure that’s NOT how knots ‘come loose,’ as you put it.
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Oh God, seems like my years in the furry fandom did something bad to my brain.