NightShadow76
Joined 28th Apr, 2013 ·
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Pretty epic entrance, kerp up the good work
Hmmm I see hints of Bleach but idk what else.... But seriously, I am loving this already.
I like the ending but it seems you plagiarized just a bit from the fic 'Somewhere I Belong' by Silent Pegasus
Not bad, looking forward for the next chapter.
Oh god, kill the Gary Stu with fire before it starts to have intercourse with ponies already.
Holy Fuck!
3317027
I was going to point that out before anypony spotted it,
but yes, this was inspired by that story
. I just got to thinking of different scenes and the thoughts wouldn't leave my skull!
But really, I'm not trying to rip his story, just something that popped into my head. And you'll find out how he is in the next chapter.
3318117 Because he has lots of powers doesn't make him a Gary Stu. There are several other factors that need to be addressed before that can be claimed but considering his level of hate and the fear he causes kinda removes the possibility of making friends easily or if at all (Not just with the other sentient races but possibly with the animals as will).
3318764
* Considering he came out of the mirror can we assume he was thrown into a Mirrored Version of Equestria. In other words were everything we know as light he was in the dark side (the exact opposite [Would kinda make sense since he came out of a mirror]). Plucked from his reality and thrown into a mirror versed version of the one Discord lives on just to entertain him while he was stoned (I would be beyond control of my rage when encountering him as will).
* Would be interesting if not kinda funny if how he treats the Mane 6 is based off how one would treat the darker versions of them (I.E. Rainbow Factory Dash, Pinkamena Cupcake Pie, and ECT...).
very good story so far.
i can't wait to read the next chapter.
Good none the less. Love it.
another good chapter.
can't wait to read the next chapter.
You shall continue this work immediately. But seriously, I like.
I just shat myself reading this chapter
Kickass McUltra Reaper the seventh
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I don't know....I am not much into the human switching to pony kind of thing, hate the conversion bureau...wait, are these anthro ponies, the way you are writing them seems like it
I don't want to say he is over powered... but going Bankai was abit much considering they were still having trouble with Shikai. He's not over powered, just overkill.
But he is still a badass.
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It's not that he's a human turning into a pony, it's that he's a pony that was turned into a human and now he's back to normal.
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You'll see what he is in the next chapter.
another very good chapter.
i can't wait to read the next chapter.
3361466
I can tell your a fan of something about this story
. Wheither it's the bleach bit, the anthro, or the Chrysalis being good, I don't know.
Sombra was the element of kindness once
Did not see that one coming
Sombra was an element.
Also I think this guy is being a bit hard on all rulers present. I understand his frustration but he has been gone a loooooong time and things change.
3361639 CHRYSALIS IS AWESOME!
ok demon pony who is open minded and badass not bad and the whole revele thing and the lashings epic 9/10
This has a very distinct B-movie feel to it,And thats good,Sometimes You need a bit of cliche over the top testosterone filled B-Movie level tripe
I felt a plottwist coming and then this happened
More please?
OH SNAP!!!
Night Shadow is being a bit of an ass to Shining Armour. Why is he so angry all the time?
3388068
How would you feel if the military you worked so hard for became nothing more than for show and the captain of said military was useless in an invasion.
Besides, he won't stay angry all the time.
3388079 Good, I suspect he will take out his rage/frustration on Blueblood.
yay another very good chapter, and i can't wait to read the next chapter.
BUCK YEAH BLUEBLOOD WILL BE DESTROYED, THIS TASK IS ON YOU, NIGHT SHADOW, PLEASE WHIPE THE WORLD CLEAN OF SUCH AN FLANKHOLE
that's not fare shinning needs the wiping to
....You know,Blueblood really does get this shit kicked out of him on a daily basis on fimfic.......Dont fuck with rarity i guess
the beginning is just like the fanfic "somewhere i belong" almost exact
3397810
I did say this was inspired by it and I'm not ripping that story, or not trying to anyway.
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And now his training is complete. GAAAAAAAAARRRRRRYYYYY STUUUUUUUUUUUU!
I pick d
C
I pick A
Let's meet an old friend
a night with both princess's and crissy
I know you said you didn't want the guy to be a Stu... but honestly, the moment a new character comes in who can beat Celestia, Luna and Discord to a standstill in a fight, that is a Stu, unless the combat is handled very carefully, which you did not do. Discord obviously hasn't been completely deprived of his magic, since he splits himself in half, so why is he being threatened at all by a guy with a sword? Discord can teleport, shapeshift, turn small, turn 2 dimensional... if Night Shadow can counter Discord's magic we need to see him doing it, not be told after the fact that it happened. I realize the guy is a badass (ever read Sandman Slim by Richard Kadrey? It's a series of published novels. Do, you'll enjoy it... your character reminds me of the main character of that... your library might have it.) But Discord, in particular, thinks fast, moves fast, and should be *much* harder to beat, even if he's scared (and maybe especially if he's scared).
Night Shadow is basically just swinging a big sword around. With a lot of power, but still. What stops Discord from teleporting away completely? From turning very small and burrowing into the small of Night Shadow's back where he can't reach with his sword? From creating an artificial gravity well so that Night Shadow is being pulled in by several dozen G's while Discord is outside the gravity well in "orbit"? From tricking Night Shadow into falling through another gateway to a different realm? Being a badass fighter does not help you if you're up against Bugs Bunny because you have to be able to *hit*; Discord doesn't fight with swords, he fights with creativity and illogic.
It's possible to write a realistic combat where Discord gets his ass kicked, but that's not what you did. You had Discord fight in the same way Night Shadow was fighting. Discord is not the villain of a shonen anime. he doesn't fight with swords or with standing around building up godawful power levels and then blasting them. In canon, no one has beaten this guy when he was taking the fight seriously; both times he was defeated, he was arrogantly convinced his opponents were no threat and he was mocking them by standing still. By having someone come after Discord with a *sword*, and Discord fights back with a sword and loses, and the only bizarro thing Discord tries is splitting himself in half... nuh-uh. Discord should be throwing the kitchen sink at this guy (possibly literally), and if your hero is going to win this fight we have to *see* him negating or defeating Discord's magics (for example, Discord tries to trick him by throwing a gate to a different dimensional realm up in front of himself so Night Shadow lunges at him and falls in. Then reality tears open behind Discord and you see Night Shadow cutting a gateway back to equestria with his sword, and Discord barely manages to teleport out of the way before the sword comes swinging at him again. Or Discord does the gravity well trick I mentioned... and Night Shadow simply flies out of the gravity well because if he can beat Celestia, he can deal with a *lot* of G.)
Also, Discord's chaos magic rubbing off on Night Shadow is a terrible reason why Discord's magic isn't working. Chaos is the gift that keeps on giving; chaos empowers chaos and leads to more chaos. Discord's chaos magic rubbing off on Night Shadow should make Discord *stronger*. However, if Night Shadow has had to learn to wield and manipulate chaos himself, he could have been draining Discord's power throughout the fight. Since he had the advantage of surprise from the beginning and Discord is not used to life and death combat, Discord could realistically have been too occupied staying alive to have noticed the power drain until it was too late. There are other ways you could come up with as well (artifacts he acquired in the hell dimension Discord sent him to, etc.) If you want Discord to be out of power and options by the end of the fight, it can be done, but the way you did it didn't make sense.
If you don't want this guy to be a Stu -- and you can most certainly be a Gary Stu if you have a nasty personality and a dark history and a lot of character flaws; the defining characteristic of a Sue or Stu is not that they are perfect and wonderful but that they warp the existing characters to make the story show off their traits, and anyone who fights Celestia, Luna and Discord and defeats all three is in that territory -- you need to make the fight a lot longer, more detailed, and a lot more good tactics from Discord, Luna and Celestia. It makes your hero look better, too, if you see the opponents fighting well and still getting beaten.
Choice A fallowed by D
A with a dragon sparing buddy
Come on dude, you need to try harder. This is is a total gary stu.
See..
The dead should remain dead IMO. I think I'll pick B or D, we need to know more about Night other than he's an OP former element of harmony and has an aphrodisiac body.