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It was a rare thing for Shining Armor to receive a personal summons from the Princess; rarer, still, to receive one so early in the day. True, it was past noon, but the reigning monarch of Equestria was, by preference, nocturnal, typically going to bed almost immediately after setting the moon and raising the sun, and sleeping straight through the midday. As it stood, Her Majesty couldn’t have been awake for much more than an hour at this point.
Not that Shining Armor meeting with the Princess was a rare thing; he did so every day, in fact, as part of the general cabinet meeting of her personal staff, reporting on the defensive readiness of Canterlot, both the palace and the capital city as a whole, an exercise that had once been largely a formality, but which the return of Corona had turned into a decidedly more serious endeavor. Things had been tense in Canterlot for the past few months, as nopony knew when Corona planned to strike next, or how, and so all that the Royal Guard could do was hope that they were prepared for whatever came.
Still, as Shining Armor approached the core of Canterlot Castle, he was trying to remember the last time the Princess had held a personal audience with him. The only one he could recall was when she had appointed him Captain of the Royal Guard, and that had been more of an interview than anything.
Shining Armor was nearing his destination, now, the personal offices of Her Majesty the Princess. He was passing an increasing number of the castle’s staff – maids and servants, of course, but also members of the Royal Guard, dressed in armor and armed with weapons that were considerably more ornate than the standard issue, but which were no less functional. He recognized each and every one, of course: they were the personal guard of the Princess, and he had personally hoof-picked each and every one for their skill, loyalty, and adherence to duty.
This last quality was demonstrated as he approached the doors to the Princess’ office. Despite recognizing who Shining Armor was, despite his technically being their commanding officer, the pegasus and earth pony who stood guard at the door both assumed a defensive posture as he approached, crossing their halberds in front of the door in challenge. He could have easily, after all, been an assassin wearing an illusion or having shape-shifted into his current form.
Paranoid? Yes. But it was the job of the Royal Guard to be paranoid, and especially these two. If they hadn’t reacted as they had, then each of them would have soon found themselves off of guard duty and on to latrine duty.
Shining Armor stopped a respectful distance from the two. “I’m here to see Her Majesty,” he stated. “I was summoned.”
The two guards looked to each other, before the pegasus turned and opened the door, announcing Shining Armor’s arrival, while the earth pony’s eyes remained fixed on the unicorn captain of the guard. After a moment, the pegasus looked back to his companion and nodded, and the two guards stepped aside, allowing Shining Armor entrance into the Princess’ office.
In stark contrast to most of Canterlot, the private office of Princess Luna Equestris was constructed from, or at least made to look like, wooden paneling, rather than the granite that most of Canterlot was made from. Further contrasting with the blue-and-silver decorations strung up throughout the castle, Luna’s office was decorated primarily in shades of warm, inviting reds, complimenting the large fireplace that warmed it in the winter. It otherwise looked surprisingly mundane for the royal office – there were comfortable but hardly lavish cushions sitting on either side of a normal-looking mahogany desk, a book case filled with volumes of both legal code and political philosophy, a map of Equestria and its neighbors on one wall, and various other trinkets scattered about, both useful ones like the abacus sitting at the Princess' desk, and mere curiosities, such as a buffalo peace pipe hanging from one wall. Without changing a single thing about it, one could have transported the room to a normal, albeit wealthy, barrister’s or bookkeeper’s office in Manehattan or Stalliongrad, and not have been able to detect anything out of place.
Despite all that, it wasn’t the simplicity of the office that made Shining Armor pause as he entered, as he had been in here before and knew what to expect. He had even anticipated seeing Princess Luna sitting on the other side of the her desk, horn glowing as she looked over her schedule for the day and reports of what had occurred while she slept. It wasn’t even surprising to see that she was not wearing her black crown, nor the rest of the royal regalia, though those sat nearby on a special stand prepared for them.
No, the thing that caught him off guard was that Princess Luna Equestris was wearing glasses.
Thin, red-rimmed glasses, that somehow managed to make the Shepherd of the Moon, the Caretaker of the Sun, the impossibly ancient yet eternally youthful alicorn princess of Equestria, look almost cute –
No, no, not going there, not even thinking about going there, Shining Armor declared sternly to himself as he approached the desk, and offered a deep bow. “Your Majesty,” he said. “You sent for me?”
Luna had looked up from whatever she was doing as Shining Armor had bowed, and nodded as he spoke and rose from his bow. “Yes, captain,” she said as she stood, walking out from behind her desk to join him. “There is a…is something the matter?”
Shining Armor blinked a few times, and suddenly realized that he must have been staring. “Uh – no, Majesty. I just – I didn’t know you needed glasses.”
Luna paused a moment, then chuckled slightly as her horn glowed, and she levitated the glasses off of her face and set them down on her desk. “I don’t, but I find they help me concentrate on work, especially so soon after waking up, when work is the furthest thing from my mind.”
“Yes, Majesty,” Shining Armor said. “What is on your mind?”
“Several things,” Luna responded, pressing her lips tightly together for a moment after doing so. “Several things…breakfast, for one, but I’ve put that off for the moment.” She motioned with one hoof towards the cushions at her desk, as she herself walked over to the office’s window, ruffling her wings slightly in agitation. “Please have a seat, Shining Armor.”
In truth, he would have preferred to remain standing, but when the Princess of the Night offered one a seat, one took it. He settled down on the large cushions on his side of the desk, watching Luna closely. “Does this concern the Cavallian envoy that will be arriving in a few weeks, Majesty?” Shining Armor asked. With Corona returned from her exile into the heart of the sun, Luna had been reaching out to the various nations surrounding Equestria, looking for support and aid in finding her. First and foremost, of course, was a planned meeting with Cavallia, Equestria’s oldest ally despite also technically being a breakaway state.
Luna shook her head as she turned to regard Shining Armor. “No. Your plans to safeguard Princess Mi Amore Cadenza during her stay are exemplary. This matter doesn’t concern Equestria as a whole…it concerns the Starlight family.”
Shining Armor blinked at the mention of his own family, one of the oldest and most respected – and influential – families of the Night Court. His father, Nightlight, was Viceroy of Latigo, one of Equestria’s largest provinces in the northeast that bordered the Griffin Kingdoms, the independent nation of Gryphos, and the protected city-states of Hippopotamia. “Has something happened to my father?” Shining Armor asked.
Luna shook her head. “No. Your father is just fine, as is your mother. For that matter, to my knowledge your sister, is alive and…unharmed…as well, but this matter concerns her – ”
“Twilie?” Shining Armor asked, standing suddenly and forgetting decorum and proper etiquette at the mention of his sister. “What’s happened to her?”
Luna raised a hoof, trying to calm Shining Armor down. “Please, captain. Sit down.”
Shining Armor obeyed, but only after a moment as his gaze remained locked on Luna’s. The Princess of the Night’s lips were pressed tightly together as she waited for Shining Armor to at least look like he had calmed down. “Last night,” Luna began, “Twilight Sparkle arrived in Ponyville, where she met with my student, Trixie Lulamoon. Do you know her?”
Shining Armor tried to stop his grimace, but failed. “Yes,” he said after a moment. “I met her several times when she lived in the castle, though we never spoke directly. She has a…memorable…personality.”
“That is a charitable way of phrasing it, yes,” Luna confirmed. Shining Armor knew that Luna was rarely so kind with her adjectives. “In any event, your sister met with Trixie. Their meeting did not go well. According to my student, Twilight accused Trixie of being a two-bit hedge mage and a waste of magical talent.” She held up a hoof before Shining Armor could respond to that. “I believe my student, captain, but given the severity of what followed, I am arranging to have the matter thoroughly investigated, and I will of course allow the Starlights to arrange for their own investigation.”
“Severity of what followed?” Shining Armor echoed.
Luna winced slightly. “Trixie, displaying far less control than I would like, goaded your sister into making herself seem like a unicorn-supremacist in front of all of Ponyville. Now, if the matter had progressed no further than this, I would not be talking to you, Shining Armor. Harsh words between two young mares are not worth the attentions of the Night Court, nor the Royal Guard.”
They’re worth my attentions, Shining Armor thought. Not that he would, in any way, abuse his position as captain of the guard to come down on Trixie like a ton of bricks like he wanted to - but that didn't mean that he wouldn't abuse it a little to get back at Trixie for doing that to his sister. Perhaps just a very thorough security check next time she came to Canterlot. Something inconvenient and drawn out. It was amazing what one could do when one was part of the group that strung up the red tape.
Of course, then what Luna had specified sank in. “What happened?” he asked.
Luna grimaced again. “There is no easy way to phrase this,” she stated, “So I will simply say it. Twilight Sparkle responded by going into the Everfree Forest and using fantastically illegal enchantment magic to take control of an Ursa Minor. She then proceeded to bring the Ursa Minor into the center of Ponyville. I do not know her intentions, because at that point, she lost control of the Ursa Minor, and it proceeded to go on a rampage through the town square, causing thousands of bits in property damage.”
Shining Armor stared, wide-eyed. “N…no,” he stated. “Twilie…Twilie wouldn’t do that.”
“There are dozens of eyewitnesses, Shining Armor. The evidence is irrefutable. Now, there were no casualties, and there are also dozens of eyewitnesses that confirm that, while Trixie distracted the Ursa Minor, your sister was able to teleport it away, back into the Everfree. But she then teleported away herself. Nopony has seen nor heard from her since, but then it has only been a few hours. And that does not change the fact that she used illegal magic in the first place, illegal magic she could have learned only by breaking and entering into secure vaults in one of the great libraries of Equestria.” Luna’s grimace worsened. “I am sorry, Shining Armor, but under the circumstances I have no choice but to issue an arrest warrant for your sister…and as you are aware, she is a sorceress of considerable power, so in addition to the Guard I must also involve the Shadowbolts in this matter.”
Shining Armor blinked at that. Popular myth liked to paint the Shadowbolts as Luna’s personal team of ponies devoted to black operations, both within Equestria and outside of it, responsible for blackmail, extortion, and assassination. Shining Armor, having worked with them in the past, knew that in actuality, for the most part, being a Shadowbolt meant long hours of investigation, surveillance, and paperwork, and that it could actually be a fairly boring job most of the time, and was further fully constrained by all the normal laws of Equestria.
But one did not become a Shadowbolt by being a desk jockey and paper-pusher. They were called in only to deal with threats that the Guard could not, by itself, handle. “Is…is that really necessary?” Shining Armor asked.
Luna nodded morosely. “It is, I’m afraid. Nothing can change that. I summoned you here to personally inform you, rather than risk letting you find out by overhearing gossip or learning by reading in tomorrow’s paper.”
Shining Armor looked up at that. “Tomorrow’s?”
“The…the incident…happened too late at night for the news to reach the Canterlot printers. I also pulled some strings at the press. I cannot – I will not – stop the story from running. But I believe I have managed to convince most of the major newspapers to bury the story on page seventeen, or where they like, rather than the front page, for now. That will not last, but it should give your family time to decide how to respond.”
Shining Armor nodded. “Thank-you, Majesty.”
“There is no need, Shining Armor. I owe your family much, and you in particular as well.” Luna eyed Shining Armor. “But this also comes with an expectation. If your sister contacts you, you must inform the Shadowbolts. I want your word as captain of my Royal Guard, and as a scion of the Starlight family.”
Shining Armor nodded slightly. “I will,” he promised. “What…what will you do with Twilight?”
Luna grimaced again. “That depends heavily on the circumstances surrounding her arrest. At the moment, I am willing to take her emotional state into account, and her contribution of banishing the Ursa Minor back to the Everfree. But there will be some form of punitive action, captain, likely several years in prison, or at the very least under house arrest, either in Canterlot or Latigo.”
The unicorn captain of the guard nodded again, still trying to wrap his mind around the idea of his sister, of little Twilie, causing so much trouble. They had used to be so close, but ever since she had set out on her journey through Equestria to learn as much about magic as possible, they had begun to grow distant, letters from her coming less and less frequently, and of course Shining Armor – and indeed, his father and mother as well – had a difficult time ever contacting her due to her constantly being on the move in that caravan of hers…
“You must have some leave time coming up,” Luna said, interrupting Shining Armor’s ruminations. “In fact, it doesn’t matter if you do. Take the next week off, captain. Go and see your family.”
Shining Armor started to object, but the look in Luna’s eyes brooked no argument. Instead, he nodded. “Yes, Majesty. I’ll do that.”
“Very good,” Luna said. “I’m…I’m sorry, captain. I know how this feels, to have a sibling act in a way you didn’t think possible. But Twilight has done nothing unforgiveable. If you speak to her at all, please, make sure she knows that.”
Shining Armor nodded, as Luna gave him leave to depart. He did so stiffly, without even acknowledging the guards on the other side of the door as he did, letting his hooves fall almost mechanically to the floor as he made his way from the Princess’ office.
Twilie…Shining Armor thought. What have you done?
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Ooh, wonderful. I love the portrayal of Shining Armor here. You really did a good job of showing his devotion to Luna and the country, as well as his family, as well as his willing to be a bit of a jerk in revenge against Twilight. I like how you portrayed Luna as well. The glasses were a great touch.
My only comment would be that house arrest seems kind of a light punishment for everything Twilight did. Especially if her family is nobles, that could easily turn into 'stay in your luxurious castle for five years.' And as Twilight is so introverted anyway, as long as she got someone to deliver her books, she might not even care that she can't leave the grounds.
Ooohhh, I was wondering if you would expand on this once Shining Armour was introduced into the show. And it looks like he hasn't met up with Cadence yet either.
It's a small scene you've written here but it's a powerful one. It raises that moral question of, "What do you do when your own family is in trouble with the law?" Do you turn them in, or do you try your best to keep them from getting caught?
If this continues, I'll definitely be interested to see where this goes!
Great chapter RDD. Wanted to say if you include Changeling's perhaps you can depart from making them monsters or misunderstood people. Maybe have them as one of Equestria's military allies.
I feel bad for Shining, especially after we saw him protecting Canterlot against Corona Blaze. 
Hope he can convince Twilight to turn herself in before she does something stupid like awaken Discord. Actually that would be awesome, Twilight releasing Discord but I'm getting ahead of myself. Looking forward to reading more Lunaverse stories 
Wow, depending on how the eventual arrest/trial/punishment goes, Trixie has potentially made herself some serious enemies here.
Can't wait to see what happens when Shining Armor catches up with her, despite Luna's involvement of the Shadowbolts I'm assuming that is why he just got a week off?
And Twilight is slated to appear in "Crisis on Two Equestrias," at the very least. Both Twilights.
Actually he got a week off because Luna knows what it's like to have a sibling do something stupid that you'd never think them capable of doing. She's also sympathetic to the fact that it can't be easy, having a sister who's a wanted criminal.
She did say "at the very least." Plus there's a bit of the way the Lunaverse's politics at work here: House Starlight is very close to the monarch, and there are benefits to that, though the benefits only go so far.
Luna may have also been partially extending an olive branch to the Starlights. "I'll just have her under house arrest in Latigo or Canterlot. In return, please don't screw over my apprentice. I'm going to deal with her."
Nope. They are all mentioned in-story, but it's kind of in an off-hand, casual way, to further the idea that we're beginning in media res, which is the best kind of res.
Trixie - Magic
Lyra - Loyalty
Raindrops - Honesty
Ditzy - Kindness
Cheerilee - Laughter
Carrot Top - Generosity
The plot thickens! About Shining's personality and his thoughts on Trixie, that's about how I see him in the canon universe: completely loyal to crown and family, but not afraid to bend the law and pull a few strings if one were to mess with a relative.
Some might disagree with me here; but as far as what would happen should Shining Armor approach Trixie, I can actually see her apologizing to him about what she said to Twilight. That is, as long as he doesn't initiate a verbal slug-fest from the start. If he keeps his actions and words civil, I'd bet Trixie would be sincerely apologetic about what she's done; perhaps even going so far as to prostrate herself in front of him after some "gentle" prodding from her friends. (i.e. Raindrops threatening to clock her if she doesn't)
Following the standard list of plot-line cliches, I could easily see Twilight falling in under Corona with the promise of "knowledge and magic of which she can only dream" before anyone else manages to catch up to her. One might say she would become Corona's "most faithful student".
It's planned, but not yet written. This story has become just the first entry in a larger shared universe, with not just me writing it.
This the group, with the list of stories written for it.
"Crisis on Two Equestrias" is basically going to be the season finale.
Oh wow...poor Shining Armor. In spite of it all I still feel bad for Twilight a bit too. I mean, she never seemed the most emotionally stable of ponies and in Lunaverse it seems to be even worse. I really wish Luna hadn't asked Shining Armor to report his sister if she made contact with him. It's one of those orders that even issuing them you *know* they're not going to be obeyed. All it can do is get Shining Armor in trouble for trying to help his little sister.
I like the parallel between Luna and Shining's position vis a vis their siblings, Luna's glasses were a great touch and so was Shining Armor's kneejerk reaction to get back at Trixie and defend Twilight. It's what makes it all so heartbreaking.
I made it a little clearer that Trixie was trying to get Twilight angry enough to say something stupid without thinking through what she was saying. Trixie also didn't try to make her look like a tribalist, specifically, but she did want to make a fool out of her.
Twilight really doesn't think that unicorns are better than other ponies, but at the same time she doesn't think what earth ponies or pegasi do is magic.
As always, a great story.
One small issue that stood out for me: You slipped an extra n into Pony Su- I mean, Cadence's name.
Princess Mi Amore Candenza.
I hardly blame you: Nobody seems to be able to spell any of her names eight times out of ten. (You have no idea how many times I've seen Candace), but I thought I'd point it out.
I loved the way Shining forcibly talks himself down from thinking of Luna as cute, but continues to stare anyway.
Alright, my heart just completely stopped when Shining first says "Twilie?", all the more so because of the way Luna stressed "unharmed" beforehand. As a big brother myself to a very talented, but recently somewhat distant, sister this probably has extra resonance. And the buildup only gets increasingly nerve-wracking, “Severity of what followed?” His discipline is commendable, I'd have probably been leaping across the table and demanding to know everything, and when the hammer final does hit the floor I am continued to be impressed by his outwardly at-least patient resolve.
Ooh, and confirmation of the Shadowbolts. That was good.
I use the "read later" button for stories that look interesting, but I don't have the time or inclination start yet. Basically a way to make sure I can find them later when I have time to start something new or the mood fancies me. I also have a few "favorites" double marked that way to make sure I remember to read them again someday
That was a good way to round it all off (in this story), and now I REALLY can't wait for Crisis.
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_1.pngI've got to say though, reading this felt really weird after all of the mane-verse stuff I read after you posted chapter 4. Not bad weird, just "oh, wait, all of this stuff happened, I remember now" combined with a small dose of having WAY too many fics to read that haven't finished and that aren't Lunaverse, among other things.
Having taken some time to think on the matter, part of me thinks that the word "map" in chapter 5 should be a link to the official Lunaverse map, or maybe a blog post featuring said map + additional details. It seems an appropriate place to put some cool extra details that readers who don't track the Lunaverse board might still be interested in.
Then again, part of me also thinks thinks that in chapter 3 the "---" between Trixie's visit to the wagon and Twilight's encounter with the Cockatrice should be a link to my sub-chapter, but that's mostly just me being silly/greedy.
"In my sister's defence, Princess Luna, I should point out that teleporting away without learning anything is a Starlight family tradition. It's not one we're proud of, but it's still a tradition."
Luna does bring out the severity of Twilight's crimes quite starkly here, especially the bit about breaking into the sealed archives and learning very illegal magic. Still better than trying to stop time, though. I feel bad for Shining Armor - he's doing all the right things, and now his sister has gone and done something exceptionally foolish. Poor Twily. I wonder why she ran away, and I wonder where she will stay?
I have a feeling that the next time we see Twilight, it'll be at Shining Armor's wedding. I suspect she'll risk recapture in order to make sure that her BBBFF isn't marrying somepony unsuitable.
Great epilogue! Sad for everypony.
A very good chapter. Depending on how this goes, this is could do a lot of foreshadowing about how similar/different the wedding will be. If Twilight IS punished but is given permission to attend the wedding anyway, then it'll be very understandable that nopony wants to trust her if she sees something odd about Cadance.
Something had been nagging me about the new epilogue here for the past few days, which I only just put together and figured bared repeating. While Trixie magiced a report direct to Luna, should word of the ursa incident really have spread so quickly as to be in major national level papers as early as a mere two days after the fact?
Ponyville may be less than a day's journey from Canterlot, but it's also a nowhere town on the edge of the Everfree. Would the fact that a star beast trampled some of it really be all that big a story? Sure Twilight was involved and she's the daughter of a noble family, but no one in Ponyville seemed to be aware of that fact, to most of the town she was just a random traveler. Yes, it would be a big story once some reporter put all the facts together, but it would seems to me the kind of thing that should take longer, week or more maybe. In our modern e-society news can travel and be compiled and cross referenced quickly, but should that really be the case in Equestria?
I suppose that an agent for one of the Starlights' political rivals might have done the leg work, but if that were the case it would paint the Starlights as being pretty bad at the political game if they didn't already have their own counter agents in place to run interference on things like that. They might be an honest enough family so as not to conceal the truth, but I'd still think them reasonable in throwing a wrench in the works if only to give themselves time to verify all the facts.
Not saying that the premise of the incident's inevitable publicity is wrong, I just sorta feel like maybe the time-frame involved should be tweaked.
I did a marathon reread of Longest Day, Longest Night and The Night After and this. It occurred to me that the epilogues in here and LDLN, plus The Night After would probably be short online webisodes or something. Other than that meta little thing, not much new to say that hasn't already been said. Keep up the good work, and I'm excited for Crisis!
Why would there even be a wedding?
Shining's and Cadences's connection was through filly Twilight, if Twilight is not Celestias student Shining and Cadence likely have not had much interaction.
That's assuming a princess didn't sporadically decide she wanted to foal sit a small unicorn, cos then the marriage would still make sense but otherwise i don't see it happening.
Yeah, thanks, that page was already faved. 
I already read Griffin Over the Line and I made a great effort to not read Helping...Hands? before Longest Night, Longest Day, in which I am right now.
On another topic, about which I can imagine that you are kind of tired, but I simply can't help myself: the punch. Sweet Celestia, that punch! I mean, I completely understand how comedic you intended that, but my very soul didn't. The scene was in my head for a couple days.
What made it cross the line, in my soul's opnion, was Raindrop checking Trixie's mouth, from which somepony can deduce Dropsy could actualy hurt Trix, in a non slapstick way.
. But, come on, if you were trying to make somepony feel Trixie's pain, you were successful.
Keep the good work, see ya!
I'm... conflicted, I'm not going to lie.
I want to give this Lunaverse a chance, RDD, to actually READ more than Griffon Over the Line and Boast Busted, but my... bias... as a Celestia AND Luna fan, and after all I've heard, prevents me from doing so, from giving this series the chance it probably deserves. I... I understand that this was a way to work with Twilight Sparkle and how she would have developed, possibly, without anyone to help curb her down a bit, but...
Even not aligned with Corona, Twilight's pretty much a tertiary villain, it seems, with her poor big brother -and foalsitter- unable to do anything but watch as Twi's pride tears her apart. And poor 'Tia... I'm sorry, but no matter what redemption plans or plans in general you have, from what I've heard, she and Zecora have been given the shaft as designated Big Bads.
Basically... I'm a huge idiot afraid of disappointment, RDD. While I'm afraid to give this a chance, I will say that you shouldn't let me discourage you, and press on...
Happy writing, and I will say that I DID thoroughly enjoy Griffon Over the Line, because that actually did have everyone in character and didn't distort Rainbow Dash. Let's be honest, if she and Gilda were friends, is it really that big a stretch? Perhaps later I can read the main story and more and form a true opinion.
You should read "A Chance Encounter," at the very least, which has Twilight meet Spike (after Spike has decided to leave Corona).
Also, Twilight isn't really a villain. "Villain" implies a certain degree of malevolence that Twilight simply doesn't have. Twilight's just somepony who made a major mistake that she's going to have to work to fix. She'll be fixing it in "Crisis on Two Equestrias."
Okay, okay, I just have to say, after reading all of this, that this alternate "Lunaverse" is brilliantly constructed. Brilliantly. I especially liked the dichotomy Trixie pointed out a couple of chapters back, about how the current MLP canon could just as easily have happened as opposed to this. And I have to ask, although I'm getting the feeling that you've already answered this in another comment already, somewhere (but since I don't take the time to read the other comments, well...), but is this "Lunaverse" either a) part of an already existing collaboration universe, a la Fallout: Equestria, or b) part of your own new universe, wherein you're going to be writing more stories? Because I would love it if you did.
Five stars.
It is part of a larger collaborative universe which took off after I wrote this and then finished its prequel, "Longest Night, Longest Day"
Here is the group. If you scroll down you'll see our Season 1 episode list (in order!), and below that is the movies and tie-ins, then the fanfics. Just start with "Longest Night, Longest Day."
So far, in addition to this and "LNLD," I've written four more stories: "Family Matters," "Helping...Hands?", "An Early Reunion," and "Tales of Ponyville." The last is in-progress.
Cool, thanks. I just really think this whole thing is really awesome, is all. That whole trippy "What if?" thing that goes through your head with stuff like this and then you get to thinking and when you come to its several hours later...
I'm not the only one that does that, right? Right??
On another note, can you imagine what would happen if these characters met their counterparts from actual canon? Talk about trippy!
I somehow stumbled back onto this story after a very long time to see that there's another chapter I haven't read. It is excellently-written, but has the same problem, for me, personally, that the whole story originally did. That is, it's too gritty and dark.
In FiM forgiveness is handed out like candy (see "Magic Duel"); and punishments, when given, are sensible. I truly don't like the idea of Twi going to prison; if perhaps she's given a chance to work off the damage she did (community service) then it would sit far better with me. I also don't like the portrayal of Shining Armor; his willingness to use his position to "inconvenience" Trixie is reprehensible, while his promise to Luna to inform the Shadowbolts of his sister's whereabouts speaks of too much unquestioning loyalty to the crown. I'd personally invert both of those choices: Consider the matter with Trixie closed, and refuse to make promises other than to follow his own conscience under whatever circumstances arise.
Twi's more likely to be under house arrest than prison. Also, had she stuck around, it might have been forgive and forget, but she didn't - she ran away. Her story will be basically concluded with the upcoming "Crisis on Two Equestrias," though.
You should read the rest of the Lunaverse. It is a bit darker than the regular FiM, but that's because we know we're writing for an older target audience.
I read both "Boast Busted" and "Longest Day, Longest Night" and already gave my comments on both some time ago. The Lunaverse, it's... not for me. I'm sure there are talented authors (yourself definitely included) contributing to the world you've created. It just doesn't mesh well with my personal, subjective tastes in pony fiction.
Nevertheless, with this story you clearly created something which has captured a lot of hearts and minds, and for that you have my respect. Best of luck to you and the group.
Finally made it to the first story (I'm taking the Lunaverse via episode list). It's interesting to see how some of the ideas that are fleshed out in other chapters were hinted at here, and how you can kind of see those in their primal state, so to speak. I'm growing ever more interested in your upcoming Crisis, especially as it includes a resolution for this 'verse's Twilight. Are you planning on the story being set in around the same timeframe as season 2? I ask because I'm thinking about how it would be interesting to have a parallel with Mane Trixie, but if this were in season 2 it would possibly interfere with the Magic Duel episode. Having a post-MD timeframe would be far more interesting, actually, given that at that point Trixie had actually done something worthy of arrest (rather than simply being a jerk and inspiring an act of recklessness, unwittingly, which really wasn't so bad), so there'd be a much closer parallel between them (and if you start off with the classic situation of Trixie and Twilight switching universe's it would be fun watching them both find out their fugitives). The time frame would be a little further than you've gotten with the Lunaverse so far, of course, but MD was originally intended as a S2 ep, so you might be able to get away with a little chronological shenanigans. In any case, looking forward to going further down the rabbit hole.
Well, fortuitously, MLP episodes are generally structured so that they can have happened in just about any order, which works out in my favor. Of course, "Magic Duel" explicitly references "Winter Wrap-Up," "Swarm of the Century," and "Baby Cakes," so I need to fit those into the timeline.
I've got this as a rough guide for episodes that have "happened" as of Crisis, in roughly this order:
- Friendship is Magic
- Applebuck Season
- Ticket Master
- Bridal Gossip
- Griffin the Brush-Off
- Boast Busters
- Call of the Cutie
- Cutie Pox
- Swarm of the Century
- Luna Eclipsed
- Look Before You Sleep
- Fall Weather Friends
- Over a Barrel
- Hearth's Warming Eve
- Winter Wrap Up
- Suited for Success
- A Bird in the Hoof
- Best Night Ever
- Magic Duel
- Cutie Mark Chronicles
- Sonic Rainboom
- Dragonshy
- Owl's Well that Ends Well
- Staremaster
- A Dog and Pony Show
- Party of One
- Return of Harmony
- Lesson Zero
I think that roughly 1 year passed between "Friendship is Magic" and "Return of Harmony."
Good to know. I like the thought of the Magic Duel being closer to the events of Boast Busters, and the fact that you have it after the Grand Galloping Gala makes me wish you had Twilight get her hooves on the Alicorn Amulet during that time in the Lunaverse GGG. Or did she?! Lesson Zero directly preceding Crisis also makes me think of the parallels each universe's Element of Magic has with their respective Princess. It seems like you have it set up so Twilight and Trixie could be representative of younger Celestia and Luna, respectively. Lesson Zero really showed how willing Twilight is to go to any means necessary to get what needs doing done, and how easily she can snap under the pressure, much like Corona did. Similarly, Trixie has the egotism and need for attention - and possibly the same abrasive nature - that may have driven Luna to become Nightmare Moon. It's interesting to see how much each character exemplifies those flaws in the universes in which they have no princess to guide them, as with Twilight's casual disregard of the law, which she's been known for in canon, but generally for reasons a little more important than just studying. It's funny to imagine that, as repulsed as Twilight would probably be at Corona, she would probably become her given the right circumstances.
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Oh she already has one, well how about friendship lessons from Trixie, Twilight loves learning and all that.I think of the mane 6 I'm happiest with Twilight's Lunaverse interpretation. It's really easy to see her turning out differently had a few critical moments in her life not happened; you can envision exactly the split in the paths the two Twilight's lives took, and both reach a logical position.
The rest though, I have to agree with those who say it leaves a bad taste. It really feels like they had to have their positive traits reduced, and their negative ones exacerbated. Even if it was just a little bit, it kind of hurts to see the usual heroines just be generally unheroic; not necessarily bad, but not worthy either. I think part of the problem is that, unlike with Twilight, we didn't see quite so clearly the before friends/after friends difference in who they are; we have no reason to believe RD isn't still an excellent leader, or Fluttershy doesn't have hidden reserves of strength in her, so it feels like they're just missing the qualities that make them who they really are for no reason other than because they would be competition for the Lunaverse 6. The explanations are there in the Lunaverse, I guess, but it doesn't feel as right as Twilight's backstory.
Crisis has been pretty awesome so far, though. My only real complaint is that Twilight, who is supposed to be some sort of prodigy, can't manage even two spells at once; it would be silly if she could match Trixie at multi-tasking, but to not be even capable of it at all feels weird. I guess I'm always annoyed when her only actual magical strength is literally her magical strength; she's studied it her whole life, surely she's more than a little skilled at application, and it's hard to imagine shield + blast being very hard since it's the kind of bland tactic that you'd assume every royal guard would be taught (though I guess it makes perfect sense she'd know little combat magic beyond something like that)
Twilight not being able to cast more than one spell at a time, at least very easily, actually comes directly from the show. In the show, she's only ever been shown to do one spell at a time, with one exception that I'll get into below. It's also worth noting that every time we see her cast a spell, she seems to struggle with it slightly, needing to close her eyes and concentrate carefully. The exception to this is her teleportation spell, which at the beginning of the series required considerable effort but, as time has gone on, we've actually seen her getting better and better at it. From this we can extrapolate that casting a spell is much like any other task, and the more often you cast a given spell, the easier it becomes.
The one exception to Twilight only ever casting one at a time was, in fact, during the Ursa Minor incident, when she put it to sleep and sent it home. But doing so is clearly exhausting to her. She's struggling with everything she does, though she does accomplish it.
From all this, here's what I figure. Twilight is a magical prodigy, in that if you put any spell in front of her, she can learn it. She's also got a huge reserve of magical energy. However, Twilight is always in a rush to learn a new spell, so she doesn't really take time to practice the ones she already knows. When she can cast them once, she figures that's good enough and moves on to the next one. This doesn't have anything to do with her magical ability, and is more just her style.
Trixie is different. As she is fundamentally a stage magician, Trixie knows how important practice is. Every spell she knows, she will practice constantly (by which I mean, not only will she set some time in the day aside to practice it, but she'll find ways to work the spell into her everyday life, or just do it when bored; for example, in this story, Trixie waiting for Twilight outside of her wagon, she practiced her illusioncraft), to the point where it becomes almost second nature to her. Also, learning new spells isn't really that important to her; she only learns new ones when the mood strikes her to do so, and she'll only learn them one at a time. Being able to "cast" them isn't her measure of learning the spell, either, but rather being able to cast it as close to effortlessly as possible.
As a result, Trixie can cast all of her spells with very little effort. Because so little effort is involved, she can chain them together easily or even cast them simultaneously.
Ironically 90% of what we see Twilight teaching herself is the silly magic tricks Trixie might use.
I'm not sure I agree that Twilight doesn't practice her spells often (what in the world did she do with Celestia all that time?), but I guess I can see where your coming from in terms of evidence from the show. I guess my perspective comes more from the fact that in real life the top musicians almost universally are constantly pushing themselves to be better at what they do, and I just assume that she'd practice her passion beyond learning how to apply facial hair to oranges.
I'd edit my last post but my phone seems incapable, so sorry for the double post.
I'm not sure I can get behind the detail-oriented, obsessive perfectionist being rushed about learning magic as part of her style. I'd say the better argument is that rote learning is not conducive to mixing spells, or something along those lines.
Well, I assume that Twilight is pushing herself to be the best she can, in the way that she feels makes her the best. She just feels that breadth of spell knowledge is what will make her the greatest sorceress in Equestria, not being able to cast any one spell with proficiency.
I'm not sure I can get behind the detail-oriented, obsessive perfectionist being rushed about learning magic as part of her style.
I'd agree, but we never see her really practicing spells, only trying to learn them for the first time. Again, the exception is teleporting, which we see her get continuously better at as the series progresses, because she keeps doing it.
Now, I'll bet that, every now and then, she'll give herself a pop quiz on a given spell, or maybe set aside some time to make sure she can still cast everything she knows. But not nearly to the same extent as Trixie.
Pfft. Trixie wishes her skill with magic could match Twilight's beard applying skills.
Seriously, I wish the show showed her practicing cool stuff like dark magic or the gravity spell. It boggles my mind that she can't get oranges right but seemingly copies black magic after seeing it once. Clearly the dark side is strong in her.
I would not have guessed this was the first story in writing order. It flows really well with previous episodes.
While the role reversal between Celestia and Luna has been a fascinating theme, what you did here with Twilight and Trixie is really impressive. I would go into details but I am not sure I could do it justice.
One thing annoys me though. Twilight should be able to understand what D&D would call "divine spellcasting". Instead of training one's own inner power, you learn to exploit the magical potential of the masses. And that would perhaps be a cold, cynical and complete misunderstanding of the EoH, but one her mind could work with. Same deal with pegasi and Earth ponies using the environment.
I hope the Tyrant Sun makes her next move soon (Corona is not that good a name).
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