• Member Since 27th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 18th, 2012

WittleScoots


E

I Was Inspired by the song "I'll Fly higher"By Aucoustic Brony.Because Scootaloo was my favorite pony ever since i first saw her <3.But as i watched through the episode's i began to think where are her parents and the only thing i could think of is that Scootaloo only real big sis is rainbow dash.Rainbow dash is basically Her ownly sister -in a way-

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 24 )

It'd be a great story if I didnt have to reread each line twice to understand it...

LOL I was actually listening ro "I'll Fly Higher" when I first saw this.

I'm not gonna rate it right now. It could be good if the grammar and spelling was fixed. The spacing needs fixing as well. Every time a new person speaks put a space. Also after a speech mark and full stop.

Hope this helps!

-thatguyfromkfc :twilightsmile:

...okay, I'll say this right now, and without being too brash:
You need a prereader.
If you're not sure on your writing abilities, start asking around! Ask some of the smaller authors on the site if they'd preread for you ( that is, if they preread; don't want to bother anypony that doesn't do such, after all). But all this should be done before you submit a story.
I'm not going to rate it, purely because I have yet to try to read it ( I had to stop reading to type this ). One thing: expect some downvotes for the grammar and spelling mistakes. It's a pretty harsh truth, but others are bound to do so for little reason, anyways, so... expect it.
On the subject of having prereaders, if you really cannot find another, I'll be alright with going through it... shoot a PM towards me if you'd like. Ciao!

I think you need more of a description than what inspired you to make the story.

267156 My pre-reader's Kintra! just fyi, and i'm that kind of pony, i just saw your comment and replied to it...

267641 Haha, no problem, I enjoy reading replies anyways. ;P

267656 so in your above comment to the story, you said 'smaller writers'. what would pass as an smaller writer and/or a 'larger' writer?

I recomend a pre-reader man, i like where this is going, just needs some polish

267669 people that you would recognize if you heard their name. I am no such author xD
I still don't pre-read, sadly. :(

I became very ill while reading your fanfiction. I had to take painkillers, xanax and a few other perscriptions. I then went outside and placed a shovel on the ground, head pointed at me, and stomped it forcefully. In response, the handle, with great speed, struck me in the head. It felt so good to have the story's details removed from my memory. I also crammed a handful of potting soil into my mouth to mask the bad taste the story left. Just kidding. :pinkiehappy:

267834 need a pre-reader?

268012 I have plenty of those, I'm saying I'm not a pre-reader. I'd love to be, but I sadly don't have the time.

267198 Wow, if that's your only point of contempt then the author must be doing something right!

"Scootaloo Broke her Wing in a Fatal Trick with Rainbow Dash.Scoots wants to find her cutie mark"

:facehoof: "Fatal" means she died. I'm not even going to start on the rest, since this paraphrase sums it up pretty well:

"You didn’t submit a story. You submitted a large, awkward, random assemblage of sentences. If fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your story was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interact at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a fan fiction. You submitted a hostage situation."

268125 Nah, it's just I didn't feel it necessary to harp on something that was already made obvious and instead offer something that would add to the criticism and not just repeat everyone else for no apparent reason.

268174

Ouch. I didn't want to laugh at this, because that'd be rubbing salt in the wound. I'm ashamed to say that I did. Hard.

In all seriousness though, in spite of my deep seated hatred of everything grimdark, I think you have an awesome premise here. It just needs a ton of work.

I read this again and felt the overwhelming urge to walk outside and bash my head on a brick wall.

I'd love to preread if you need some help and, from the looks of it, you do.

268174 ...I know! Ill Change it later what i mean is that Her Wings had a fatal Accident not her ill change it!282328 Ok Sure! :raritystarry:

305756

Congratulations. You have officially broken logic and the english language.

um yeah, please do fix the spacing :derpytongue2:

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